Kids Don't Appreciate Their Parents Until Age 22
Categories: Teens & tweens, In The News
Teens think they know everything -- it's a common complaint. But if you're looking for a little appreciation for all of your hard work and parental wisdom, you're in for a long wait. A British market research survey recently found that children don't start to appreciate their parents until age 22.It makes sense, after all. When kids are small, you are the center of the Universe, but once they hit those teen years, friends and peers become a more important influence. Which means you are at risk of becoming, you know, chopped liver. Suffocating, style-cramping, why-can't-you-just-leave-me-alone chopped liver.
The survey suggests that once kids are out on their own and no longer under their parent's rule, they can quit testing boundaries and start appreciating Mom and Dad again. If you're the parent of a currently unruly teen, consider this your silver lining. Eventually, in not too many more years, they'll realize you really did know best.
Are you a parent of a teen? Share some tips with us on how you keep them close without pushing them away.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
awm 1-21-2009 @ 2:38PM
Mark twain said it best when he said that when he left home at 17 his father was the dumbest man he'd ever known,but upon returning home at 21 he was amazed at how much his father had learned(paraphrased)
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marky810 1-21-2009 @ 3:16PM
Um..I'm 18 and I've appreciated my parents all my life and I know why they do the things they do (of course I figured this out 4 years ago). We're very close and when they make a decision about something and I don't agree with it (I'm still in high school) I don't act like some teenagers and cry, scream, yell, or "I hate you" instead I try to give my point and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.
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RickiRae 1-21-2009 @ 7:02PM
I'm the parent of a 16 yr old girl and a 22 yr old young man. Thinking your parents are "completely lost" or "out of touch" is all part of growing up. Testing the waters (if you will). The key is to continue to communicate...and allow them to make their own (age appropriate) decisions. This in turn allows them to succeed or in some cases fail. Either way; there is something learned. Is everyday a perfect day? Oh goodness NO...that's why it's called "unconditional love".
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Elizabeth 1-22-2009 @ 2:11AM
The best advice I can give is to just shut up and listen. If you just let them talk, and don't censor everything they say, you'll be amazed at how close you can stay. I find that if I pitch in while they are doing their chores, or stay close during homework time, I hear most of what is going on in my son's life.
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Kara 1-22-2009 @ 3:19AM
I'm eighteen, and I appreciate my mother (my father's not in the picture).
I get frustrated with her at times, but I do appreciate her. She works hard on tiny wages to provide for my family, and I intend to begin working so that I can help her.
A lot of times, I think, it's not that we teenagers don't appreciate our parents, but rather that we're trying to find our own way, not to follow theirs. There's a difference between walking our own path and saying "God, mom, get the (censored) out of my (le-censor)ing life, you stupid (bleep)."
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tmpink 1-23-2009 @ 1:01PM
I know that my son often believes NOTHING I say. The best thing I have learned is to identify what the child is saying or not saying. If they don't want to talk don't push it or suggest you can talk to them later. Sometimes even the smallest conversation can turn into an eye opener. Don't point out that you know more then they do. (Even if you do!) Provide suggestions, and point out things that they may not be aware of. My son asked me about dating:
"Ma how old can I be before I can date a girl?" I said 16.
"16!!!??" He incredulously exclaimed.
"Yes. Because before that you can't handle all the emotions and other people's emotions. When kids start dating so early they end up just breaking up 2 weeks later and then there is all kinds of drama. You don't need that right now." He didn't believe me until later when he saw it first hand. He realized it was true, and he said he didn't want to date anyone after that. He told me:
"You were right. I like someone, but I don't need to be dating right now. We're just good friends."
Problem solved...until he's 16 anyways!
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dg6069 2-12-2009 @ 12:27AM
Im 16 and i completely disagree with this. I have apreciated my parents my entire life and sometimes i do want to be left alone and not bothered by them but that doesn't mean that i dont appreciate them. This article, to me, feels like a stereotype on teens.
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pastfirst 2-21-2009 @ 8:06AM
I'm the mother of 3 kids in their 20's (over 22). They STILL seem to think I know nothing and THEY'VE discovered the universe.
I'm still an embarassment when their friends are around but I've learned to take the ups and downs in my stride, and I love them unconditionally.
Reaching 22 wasn't really a turning point in their lives. I havn't lost hope.
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