Mother of Three-Year-Old Smoker Convicted

by Roger Sinasohn (Subscribe to Roger Sinasohn's posts) Jan 24th 2009 3:00PM

Categories: Preschoolers, Weird But True, Alcohol & Drugs

If you've got a three-year-old child, I would think you would pretty much know where that kid is and what they're doing at all times.Kelly Marie Pocock has a different method of child-rearing. While this 24-year-old Londoner was chatting on the phone, her son was elsewhere having a smoke.

Yes, her three-year-old son was off in a bedroom smoking a cigarette.

As luck would have it, a friend of the mother stopped by for a visit and went looking for the boy. She found him under a bed, smoking. The friend brought the boy downstairs where he proceeded to pick up a cigarette butt from an ashtray, light it and begin smoking.

Said friend filmed the scene on her mobile phone and later forwarded the video to social services. A prosecutor told the court that "the video demonstrates the boy placing a cigarette into his mouth, lighting it with a lighter and sucking, drawing smoke clearly into the lungs and he seems to do it with some accomplishment."

Enter criminal charges. The mother pleaded guilty, saying she had never seen her son smoking. The judge, however, found differently, noting that the boy would not have been able to smoke without discomfort "unless he had acquired a habit." He went on to add that "this is an appalling situation and I don't see how, despite your basis of plea, you could have been unaware of the fact."

Pocock was sentenced to forty weeks in jail, suspended for two years. Unfortunately, the judge's reason for suspending the sentence was that he didn't want to separate the children from their mother.

Excuse me? The best thing he could have done for those kids would have been to take them away from their mother. What's your take?

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Comments (22)

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)

Liz 1-24-2009 @ 5:10PM

I live with my husband and 2 kids in my mother-in-law's house. My mother-in-law is a smoker of of 35-40 years. I do not smoke nor does my husband. I consider smoking a disguting habit and tell my children it's bad, dirty, and gross. My husband told his mom that we did not like her smoking in the house so she stopped (she only smoked in her room) we could still smell the smoke eventhough she kept her bedroom door closed at all times. My youngest is 3 years old and started with ear infections when he was an infant the pediatrcian had asked if there was smokers in the home and I explained the situation she said smoke carries through vents, cracks etc. and causes constant ear infection for young kids and infants. We told his mom to stop smoking in the house and she did. She now smokes outside. As soon as she did my son no longer got ear infections he is now three and tells me he's going outside for a smoke which gets me upset because I don't want him to be saying that or try to even be curious about smoking. I could see my own son picking up a cigarette and mimicking his grandma. He's never done it before thank god. I could see myself busy with household chores and him hiding somwhere to try to do it. I think it's a mistake that could easily happen. I think an adult should be responsible in keeping their stuff away from children so something like that won't happen, I don't know what kind of mother she is so I can't judge her. Kids are curious and will be sneaky and do things they shouldn't and that's when you as a parent should child proof things and be alert on certain stuff if you don't want your kid to get you or himself in danger in any way.

steve 1-24-2009 @ 7:17PM

Smoking is very nasty and I hope that my child never does.

ShellyD 1-24-2009 @ 8:28PM

We cannot guard our children forever but three years of age??? come on mom!!

Michele 1-24-2009 @ 10:54PM

I have an idea! How about if you get a life and move your family into your OWN place and move out of mom's basement!!!! I don't smoke either and find it very irritating. But I would never make demands on someone IN THEIR HOME when they opened their door to me and my family. Good Lord. What piety!

Joy 1-25-2009 @ 1:59PM

I have to admit when I first read this and saw Liz's comment, I just rolled my eyes and thought the same thing but didn't say anything. What nerve. It's not the smoking it's the telling someone, anyone, what they are allowed to do in their own home. Ridiculous.

marzkim 1-24-2009 @ 11:27PM

obviously it's a horrible story of neglect, but the writer insisting that the best thing for this child is to be separated from the mother? Obviously this writer has no education on attachment and how scarred a child gets when removed from parents even in situations like these. The mother needs training, she needs to change, she has been awful. Taking her child away if there are not further circumstances of neglect? Never.

Jackie 1-25-2009 @ 2:44AM

Oh, yes..to Liz..You have a lot of nerve telling your mother in law to stop smoking in her own house..and she's just as crazy as you for listening.. If you don't like it and think it's disgusting..get your own place and pay your own mortgage. I'd be damned if I'd let my daughter tell me not to smoke in my own house.. actually she tries and I tell her she knows where the front door is..no one is telling me what to do in my own home!! She moved back home 3 1/2 yrs ago with her daughter and I told her before she moved in: I smoke and you'll have to deal with it and I don't want to hear about it". We were all raised on smoke and it was everywhere and I've made it to 54 so far and so far, so good. People are ridiculous and overreact.

Brandi 1-25-2009 @ 4:52PM

I would quit smoking for my granddaughter. In fact, I stopped smoking when I was engaged so that my future husband's daughter wouldn't smell it on me or breathe it on the weekends! New studdies show that even just smelling smoke on someone else's clothes endangers a child's health, and second hand smoke is just as bad as first hand. A person is a hypocrite to say it's abuse for a child to pick up a cigarrette and smoke it themselves, but yet they don't see a problem with blowing it into their little faces and watering eyes second-hand. My stepdaughter's family all smoke and she is chronically ill because of it. Children are innocent. They shouldn't suffer as a result of someone else's bad habbits.

mary 1-25-2009 @ 1:59PM

i can realize a grandma wanting what is best healthwise for her grandchild but to demand someone stop smoking in their own home is overreacting. This grandmother has raised her family. Let her do as she wishes in her own home.

mamabear4mic 1-25-2009 @ 8:19AM

Ok, I am back and forth on this and think that yes, the child should be taken away but no because it would futher hurt the child, not just the mother. So hopefully the mom got a wake up call and that she will have to take parenting classes for a long time and that (Child services) will continue to evaluate the situation.

As for the comments on smoking in your own home, I agree of course but when I did smoke I never did it around a child! In my own home or not. They are more important to me than my opinion!!!
So please stop thinking only of yourselves and take it outside when there is a child around!

My parents didn't smoke and I did. I don't smoke now and my husband does. (Not around our son) Yes, our son has said he is going to smoke like dad when he is older and yes it makes me mad but I let him know that it is a choice he has to make. That hopefully he sees how hard it is for dad to quit and how much he (our son) hates that his dad does it and that he will remember and not even try it. My husband is honest with him too and tells him he doesn't want him to smoke either and that he is sorry he does. I hope for his sake and our sons that he will kick this habit soon!

Jenna 1-25-2009 @ 10:23AM

I was raised in a household of smokers, with 2 parents that had to constantly work to pay the bills. If I had ever, at any age, touched a cigarette, lighter, etc., my parents still would have known immediately. There are other questions plaguing me about this story. Did the courts send the child to his doctor for an evaluation? Doctors know if you smoke and how frequently. Did the child have his regular checkups and, if so, was there ever any mention of possible cigarette use? My child's pediatrician asks if the children have even been in the presence of smokers if they show signs of a cough or anything. How could this go unnoticed? It is a serious situation, but it seems to have been caught early enough to effect a change. The mother should not be seperated from her child unless she fails to improve her parenting or any other situations arise. Ignorance still exists in the world and we really can't assume everyone knows everything we think they should. She still has the ability to learn from these mistakes and, with the help of child services, hopefully others that she has yet to make. As far as smoking in your own home is concerned, both of my parents continue to smoke and I, as a concerned parent myself, have made certain rules where my children are concerned. I would never tell them that they can't smoke in their home, but they do know better than to smoke in mine for the kids' sake. I also make sure that visits my children make to their house are, whenever possible, during times of the year when the children can either go outside to play if they're smoking or so that they themselves can go outside to have one without inconveniencing them. My one exception to the rule is in the car. If my children are riding in the car with a smoker then there can be no smoking since there is absoulutely no way to escape the second-hand smoke. My youngest daughter has asthma and, thankfully, everyone in my family cares enough to put her needs before their own habits. That was a choice they gladly made, and all fears and options were discussed openly together so we knew we were all on the same page.

Shannon 1-25-2009 @ 11:07AM

I grew up in a house with smokers. As a child, my long pretty hair must have smelled terrible, and I remember the nastyness of ashtrays and hiding and throwing away cigarettes because I so wanted them GONE. So, Jackie, you think people over-react- you have a typical smoker in denial attitude. You think of your habit and how you love it and not how it makes people feel- especially children. I loved my family, but hated them for smoking. I was stuck in the car, my things reeked, and I had to listen to that aweful smokers hack in the room next to me and the click of a lighter as the FIRST thing they did waking wp was smoke.
Yes, as an adult you can tell someone to suck it up and "deal with it" and that adult has the power to LEAVE. Little kids don't and it's horrible. The "deal with it" attitude stinks. Literally, for kids.

Uly 1-25-2009 @ 3:45PM

No, Mary, it's *not* overreacting. And if the woman is willing to stop for the sake of her grandchild's health, who are you to judge their family dynamics?

Some of you smokers are awfully defensive.

Janay 1-25-2009 @ 4:04PM

To those of you who think that just because you are a visitor you should CONDONE child abuse-you are the morons, and you are the ones who have nerve. Grandma has just as much responsibility as the parents to keep the kids safe and HEALTHY. She is family. She knew when she took them in that concessions would have to be made.

What if the rule was "Grandma beats kids in her house with a spiked pole once a week." Would you tell mom then that she had some nerve to tell Grandma that she couldn't beat her child?

SMOKING AROUND CHILDREN IS CHILD ABUSE AND SECOND HAND SMOKE CAUSES IRREPARABLE DAMAGE TO CHILDRENS LUNGS AND IMMUNE SYSTEM.

If you have nothing better to do than berate a mother looking out for the welfare of her child-please go twiddle your thumbs elsewhere, cause no one wants to read your garbage opinions.

(That said-Poster, I do not think they should take her kids away-she now knows that Social Services has got its eye on her, and no doubt shes getting visits from child protection-if she's stupid enough to let it happen again they should take them, but otherwise-she is just a moron who needed to be taught a lesson, which she learned in court.)

thepugpieper 1-25-2009 @ 4:49PM

Okay, The 3 year old smoking in the home is a lack of parenting!!

The parent isn't obviously watching her child, odds are she's drinking or drugging too for the kid to be able to sneak away and light up and not be noticed.

Smoking in one's home is a choice of the smoker...if they have kids, they know the risks as the parent and have to accept the concequences of that fact.

The kids will survive living with a smoker...many of us grew up with smokers and didn't die from it. Hell, the parents never beat up a kid from one to many smokes, hit the wife, or caused the police to show up cus of one too many cigs, unlike the drinkers out there.

The issue of telling an adult not to smoke in their own home is nobody's business but that person's. If they're paying the bills...how the hell can anyone say to them not to smoke??

We had that issue in my own home with family dropping their kids off to be watched. I simply pointed out they had options, daycare, babysitter or other people. I do not dictate what they do in their home and respect the fact that I do not smoke in their home..but you cross my threshold there are different rules. Expect me to smoke, or that same door you came in is the same door you can go out.

Too much bullshit is wasted on smokers, when the drunks out there cause way too much trouble and harm to others. Yet, we don't see anyone watching the drunks in their homes, nor if they are taking care of kids..etc.

Amazing how hypocritical these people are...I'm sure there are things everyone is doing that someone else doesn't approve of. Yet nobody is telling them when and where to do it!!

I can respect rules of places banning smoking, but out in the open air, is where I see that others have gone overboard. Designated areas for smoking in parks and places that are outdoors is crazy! Yet they will sell as much beer as they can, and not worry how that person will get home until the lawsuit is filed after the person who drank too much kills someone!

shasta 3-22-2009 @ 10:14PM

I grew up in a home with a smoker for a mother and and drunk and drug addict father, when they divorced I chose the smoker to live with. (surpise, surprise). I started smoking at 13 not because of my mother but because of friends, I also started doing drugs at 14, not because of my father doing them but because of lack of concren that I recieved from my parents. Had neither done those things do I think I still woult have made those choices? Yes I would have. I currently have no problems with my health because of it. I am a mother of 3 young girls and an off and on again smoker for many years, one daughter never wants to smoke and one tries to mimic me, which I stop as soon as she starts. As for that mother she either had to know the child had been smoking and was trying to hide it or she paid so little attention to her child that he was able to pick up a smoking habit unnoticed. If the later is the case them maybe the child should be removed considering what else might have gone unnoticed that hasn't been found out yet. As for the outrage brought on by the first comment I must say, from being on both sides of the fence, that I think it is all brought on by too many laws and people making the decisions for the rest of us on what we can and can't do in our own homes when the people making those decisions are not involved in what goes on in each of these individual homes that they are trying to regulate, and we are no better by judging a family on what decisions and actions that they took in there own situation. You ask what right does she have to ask, well what right do we have to comment.

Tom Terrific 1-26-2009 @ 7:16AM

I am an ex-smoker (2½ years). I don't approve of 3-year-olds smoking. Nevertheless, I find the fact that anyone thinks the mother should lose her child over this a lot scarier than the fact of the child's smoking. What do such people propose to be the next criteria for taking children from parents -- obesity? using bad language? wearing white after Labor Day?

The mother got slapped hard for this. It is enough.

Uly 1-26-2009 @ 1:09PM

How about having such poor supervision over your child that he is able to learn how to use a lighter at the age of three and do so, repeatedly, and often enough that he can develop the habit of smoking - all without your knowledge?

What *else* is this child doing while his mother has "no idea" what he's up to?

Tom Terrific 1-27-2009 @ 12:30AM

I didn't say it wasn't disturbing or cause for concern. What I said was, this seems an insufficient basis for separating the mother and the child.

We have become a nation of self-righteous busybodies. When is the madness going to stop?

Melissa 1-26-2009 @ 3:04PM

I am on the fence about this one....I grew up with my mom and my grandma, and grandma smoked, in the house, all the time....I started smoking at 14, not because she smoked, but because I wanted to be "cool" like my friends....well, I got my best friend smoking, and while I quit about 3 and a half years ago (when I got pregnant), he has tried to quit several times, and no success....I don't let people smoke in my car, whether my daughter is there or not, because it could still get into her carseat, and into the upholstery, and it's gross. She was 2 months preemie, so I am really careful about people smoking around her. When my best friend ("uncle") comes around, he maybe goes outside once or twice the entire time he's there (the whole day usually), and then he goes and washes his hands, and sprays Febreeze all overhimself lol....he can't seem to quit, but he tries his best to be safe around her.
I don't think she should lose her children, because that would be bad for them as well as her. She needs to be given a chance to prove that this was a one time flook, and that she is in fact a good mom and just became destracted....and she should quit smoking lol.

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