MySpace Mom Finds Long Lost Son

I'm so happy, Pat, that you reached out to your newly-found niece. Make the most of the time you two have to cultivate a relationship; whether it will be one that you spend a lot of time together or one that you just keep in touch once in a while, it will be worth it. No, your sister can't be here to enjoy the love you'll share, but she knows.....she knows. I'm a reunited adoptee myself & have been blessed beyond measure, since my own reunion happened to me almost 29 years ago. Just be thankful & love each other today because that's all any of us have.
Ann from Indiana

About 6 years ago I was the computer and accidently hit the wrong key and up poped this site about finding you birth mom. I read through it and saw a list of people they said were good at this. One name stood out and I emailed this person. They asked what information I had. I had her name, and orginal city and state from some 55 years ago. The searcher stated that it did not cost anything if they did not find her. The next day they said they believed they found her. I said no way, way was the response. I sent in my money and they called her and asked some question, I knew my birth name and my mom said she had to sit down. No one knew about me all these years. Only her mom and dad and one older sister, who had just passed away,(obit was how they found her). I talked to her on the phone and had a ton of questions. I made plans to go some 1550 miles to see her. But I dont do snow and I live where there is no snow. I am 63 now and we talk every Sunday. She had visited here and I am going there this spring again. Funny how things happen

My husband and I adopted our son in 1967. We have two other adopted children and two natural children.
About a year and a half ago, while my husband and I were discussing our Mayflower lineage with our son listening, he said, "Must be nice to know where you came from." Well, it was then that I was determined to find his natural mother. The only paper work we had was a Birth Certificate with the altered information stating that my husband and I are his parents... Well, we are LEGALLY his parents but biologically his parents.
We hired two separate sources to hopefully find this person. She was later identified and spoken to by an Intermediary from one of the Search Agencies. Sadly, she became very annoyed that she was found and told the Intermediary that she wants NOTHING to do with the child that she gave up for adoption in 1967. She said that she married 11 months after the birth of the child that she gave away and did not tell her husband of the previous birth. She then gave birth to subsequent children 6 months and 18 months after their wedding.
Our son feels very rejected. He is sad because he'd like to meet her and his two half-brothers.. He has no needs and wants nothing from her other than a meeting.
Since she refused any contact with him via the Intermediary, our son has respected her wishes.
Interestingly though, I did travel to her home and was able to obtain a picture of her without her knowledge one afternoon when she was sitting outside her home on her front porch area.
LIfe is so short... this story is sad for everyone concerned.
The message above from Rustin is so poignant. "It has set my mind at ease, lifted a weight off my heart and allowed me to breathe knowing bits and pieces of who I am is now finally there."
I pray one day that our son can state the same words as Rustin has.
Thank you for sharing your heart warming story.
MH, Melbourne, FL

I found both of my birthparents in 2008 and my life is now complete. They are wonderful people and I have grown to love them. I also have added 3 brothers, a sister, and 3 nieces to my life along with tons of cousins, and Aunts and Uncles. I found them both within 2 weeks of my search...it is a long story to long for here but it has been a wonderful experience.

I found my son after 50 (fifty) years. It felt like a miracle. I was heartbroken for years after giving him up. We hit if off right away and he is close to my daughters. He had a good loving home and that was a terrific relief. My advise is that each and every individual on earth deserves to know who his/her birth parents are. It doesn't mean they owe any less to their adoptive parents. You are only as sick as your secrets. There shouldn't be any secrets about anything that important.

I would like to say that the internet has brought many families together including mine. I was adopted in Costa Rica 34 years ago. I had two siblings that remained in Costa Rica as well as my biological mother. I contacted my previous orphanage in Costa Rica and gave them all of my information including an e-mail address. Two weeks later my biological brother went to the orphanage looking for me and my other siblings. We have been contacting eachother via e-mail for 6 months now. One of my brothers living here in the states, just went to Costa Rica and saw my mother. She is alive and well and now we all hope to reunite there as soon as we all can afford to do so.

In 1963 I gave up my son for adoption....9 years ago I went on an adoption site and posted my information in search of him...after hiring a private investigator to no avail....one day I came home 4 years ago and there on my computer was an e-mail from my beloved son that I gave up 42 years earlier...we instantly spoke on the phone and our reunion was one that I will never forget...it has made my life complete and now I have closure...to anyone who has doubts...do it...find each other...you will be so happy you did...Not all stories have a happy ending...but mine did.....

OMG!! this is such a sad story i am so sad for all of you!! :(

I met my birth mother and birth family 17 years ago, before the internet, and it was the best thing that I have ever done! I was searching for a picture and medical history and received a whole wonderful extended family! Only people who are adopted can understand the feeling of a "missing piece", no matter how close they are with their adopted family. Adoptive parents should not be "threatened" by their adopted child wanting to know their roots and even wanting to seek out their birth families. For us adoptees, it "completes" us in many ways, but never replaces our adoptive parents. If our birth families want to be an extended family or even friend to us, it only adds goodness to our lives.

Congratulations !! As a matter of fact, something very similar happen to me. Last year on March 3, My daughter called me while I was at my office and asked if I would look at a website for her to tell me if someone she was looking for might match a description. After looking, I called her back and told her what I thought, she said thanks and hung up. Before I shut the page down, I decided to put in the birthdate of my son whom I had given up for adoption 28 years earlier since I realized it was a website that I had registered on in my search. When I entered his birthdate, a name appeared with information on the city he was born and hospital name. I clicked it and a phone number appeared. NEVER before had a phone number ever came up on any of my searches. You usually have to send a request, they see if it is a match and let you know. I picked up my cell immediately and dialed the number. I got voice mail. Left a message saying I must have called a number that the person no longer had, but if they knew this person, to please give me a call. I received a call within 3 to 4 minutes. The young man was very patient as I explained that I was looking for William, but he had introduced himself as Corry. He explained that his first name was William. He asked what my last name was and responded with I know my birth mothers last name is ____. I said, that is my maiden name. It escilated from there and in three weeks he traveled almost 800 miles to visit me with his birth records unsealed and in hand. It has been such a blessing and I am thrilled to have him in my life as is his biological sister. Lots to the story, but limited space. I will say that I am so happy for you and wish you both a wonderful reunion. I am so fortunate that my son is so loving and I get to speak with him every day now. Best of luck. You are welcome to email me if you would like. jbrcir@yahoo.com

I found my daughter on MySpace after 15 years. I hate to say this but it did not work out. It has been a drama filled, nothing but accusation ride for 3 years now. She is 21 and I am 41. I wish I had waited a few more years, until she grew up more. She has siblings that she claims to love yet doesn't give them the time of day. Her father moved to Washington, took her without my written permission. We had no idea where she was. All these years later it's nice to see how he brainwashed her. Yet, I was the one left behind with the court papers that he went against. I am the bad guy and always will be. Sad part is, I'm fine with that. After spending the past 3 years up and down with her, I'm at peace with the fact that she is not in my life. I have 3 small children and I am in school full time, I have my priorities in order.

I created a web page honoring my sister who died of cancer and miles away was a brother I never knew I had who was trying to locate OUR father. He came across my site, pieced together dates and random details that his birth mother had given him and he contacted us. I have 4 sisters and always wanted a brother, now I have one and we could not be more blessed. He shares the same birthdate as my daughter and we have estabished a great relationship over the past 6 years. He looks just like our father and when he saw all of the pictures I had posted- he knew at once that we were family. Blood runs deep and makes us complete! Congrats of finding your loved ones!!

You know Sissy...such comments are really inappropriate, especially about your own son. If you really cared and wanted to help, you might start by keeping your private business - and his - private.

Sissy, I hope your son gets the therapy help he needs. Have you considered that there may be more going on than abandonment issues? I think he might need an evaluation by a psychologist or psychiatrist if he is so angry . . . he could also have bipolar disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, etc. I would also suggest you find a therapist for you to work through your end of this issue and to decide how much to try to help your son and be in his life.
Best of luck to you AND your son.

It is hard to support comments like the ones you have left. While no one should be judged it is troubling to see you have not raised your own children. In recent years courts have given some consideration to fathers yet still lean heavily to mothers. You must have been in a miserable place to not get custody.

You should continue to forgive your son no matter what in hopes that he will some day forgive you.

Sissy
you really shared way too much information. Sounds like you have lots of guilt and should vent in private and you are the one needing counseling. It is very rare that men are awarded custody as the primary care giver to a child. So for you as a woman to have lost your children to your husband says a lot about your behavior and what a court may have ruled in terms of the custody arrangments made. To blame other parents who tried to raise a child or to blame or put blame on the child shows how selfish you are and in denial you must be. If you are such a great person then why did a court not rule in favor of "you" being the primary care giver for your children if that was the case? It's apparent that you were not a part of your children's lives while they were growing up so you share some responsibility too. For your son to be making threats as you claim makes one wonder what it is about your behavior that is encouraging that response from him? People don't react with anger for no reason and if there were lies, children are smart, they get older and figure things out themselves. If you are a good person they will see that. So with all that said, it's best to leave such inappropriate information about your dysfunctional situation to yourself or in private counseling, not on a public board.

It is great that the mother and son found each other under these circumstances. As far as "Sissy"'s situation, there are sooo many opinions and I guess mine is that I would rather see someone who cannot take care of a child or does not want a child (look at the poor Caylee situation) to give that child up... but on the OTHER hand, sometimes those children are given to people who are not exactly what the child needs either.
Sissy, I pray for your son, but also realize that the negativity you are getting is simply because maybe there was a little too much information given there and that maybe telling someone to "f" off is not exactly appropriate or the attitude your son would need, either. I know that in your eyes you see things because you have been there, but simply just handle in it in a calm way and know that if you publicize your child's drug problem, etc and slam the ex... that is only fueling the negativity in the situation. Seek help for your son in a neutral way and NEVER say you are giving up on it... that's the problem today, people give up on their children instead of finding the solution. It is OUR job as PARENTS to do so. Good luck and God Bless your son and those in similar situations.