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Matt and Madeline - Life, Love and Death on a Blog
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Mattlogelin.com, like many personal blogs, is an open diary of everyday stories and domestic snapshots meant for a closed circle of family and friends. But here it departs from the ordinary and takes a different and difficult storyline.
On March 24, 2008, Matt Logelin posted on the joyous arrival of his and wife Liz's new baby. Madeline was born small -- 3 lbs. 14 oz. -- but healthy. The blog took a horrific turn when Liz died one day later after a lethal blood clot lodged in her lung. "It's an understatement to say my life has changed," he told ParentDish.com. "I had a birth and a death in 27 hours."
In a way, though, his blog (and the community, mostly women, that's grown around it) saved his life. That public between the parentheses, as many as 40,000 a day strong, has offered this 31-year-old widower and single dad support, solace, advice and, most importantly, an opportunity to give back to other struggling single parents.
The Liz Logelin Foundation is an organization dedicated to financially "assist families who find themselves in the heartbreaking, catastrophic situation of having lost a spouse, life-partner, and parent." Donations are accepted online, and this past September there was a fund-raising walk-run that raised over $4,000 that went to three local Los Angeles families.
"Originally, the money was to go to us," he said. "When she died I lost roughly 60 percent of our income. And it's expensive raising a baby, especially if you can't breastfeed. But when we started to raise money, I thought, 'There are people worse off than us. In a bad economy, what do you do?'"
It's a question Logelin asks himself every day. And we put it out to you.
What would you do in his circumstance? Do you blog, or know of one, with such a unique story? Has has it affected for changed your life? View our slideshow, check out Matt's blog and let us know.
On March 24, 2008, Matt Logelin posted on the joyous arrival of his and wife Liz's new baby. Madeline was born small -- 3 lbs. 14 oz. -- but healthy. The blog took a horrific turn when Liz died one day later after a lethal blood clot lodged in her lung. "It's an understatement to say my life has changed," he told ParentDish.com. "I had a birth and a death in 27 hours."
Matt Logelin and Madeline
Matt and Madeline (and Liz)
life and death. all in a 27-hour period. what you read here is what follows. So begins the blog of Matt Logelin, a single father grieving over his beloved wife's death and treasuring the joys of bringing up baby.
Courtesy of Matt Logelin
Mom Meets Madeline
"[Liz] was a little frightened, but she was also just worried about Madeline. That's the only time she saw Madeline. She never got to touch her. That was it; that was all she got. And I think that's one of the most difficult things for me because the doctors immediately took her back to the NICU." Madeline was born at 3-pounds, 13.5-ounces.
The longest We Were Apart Was 3 Months
We got engaged in Kathmandu in Nepal. We've been all over the world. I would like to take [Liz's] ashes to different places with Madeline that I visited with Liz and say, 'Look, your mom was mad at me because it was 105 degrees in Kathmandu and I was making her sit at the foot of a temple when we'd gotten off a plane the night before, and then I got out a diamond ring.' And I could say, 'This is where we made our commitment to each other.'"
In a way, though, his blog (and the community, mostly women, that's grown around it) saved his life. That public between the parentheses, as many as 40,000 a day strong, has offered this 31-year-old widower and single dad support, solace, advice and, most importantly, an opportunity to give back to other struggling single parents.
The Liz Logelin Foundation is an organization dedicated to financially "assist families who find themselves in the heartbreaking, catastrophic situation of having lost a spouse, life-partner, and parent." Donations are accepted online, and this past September there was a fund-raising walk-run that raised over $4,000 that went to three local Los Angeles families.
"Originally, the money was to go to us," he said. "When she died I lost roughly 60 percent of our income. And it's expensive raising a baby, especially if you can't breastfeed. But when we started to raise money, I thought, 'There are people worse off than us. In a bad economy, what do you do?'"
It's a question Logelin asks himself every day. And we put it out to you.
What would you do in his circumstance? Do you blog, or know of one, with such a unique story? Has has it affected for changed your life? View our slideshow, check out Matt's blog and let us know.
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ReaderComments (Page 5 of 17)
1-29-2009 @ 2:53PM
meanmotheroftheuniverse said...My heart goes out to him. I'm surprised that your article would even ask if people resent the attention he's getting...How could they? "There, but for the grace of God, go I." It could have happened to anyone. There's a difference between being a single mom and a widowed new father--a big one. Most of the time, being a single mom is a choice we've made. Not that its necessarily easier, by any means--it's just different. There are many new widows during war-time, and my heart goes out to them, too, but being married to a soldier is still a choice that carries a risk, just like being married to a fireman or policeman. Losing a spouse the way he did is a whole different matter. And in our society, its still alien for a man to take on the total nurturing of an infant--they're not really raised to do it the way women are. So I hope he gets as much love and encouragement as he can handle. He's in my prayers.
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1-29-2009 @ 3:11PM
leegfan said...I run a food pantry and whenever someone comes in who is feeling sorry for themselves - sure no one else ever had it so bad - I tell them about others who are in even worse situations. It makes them realize that wallowing in self-pity gets you no where. THis story is one I will use. It will be an inspiration to some and a motivator for others. God Bless this little family and may they have many happy years ahead.
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1-29-2009 @ 2:58PM
minnie said...amazing how sweet Gods grace is upon us in our time of needs=) i read where you said you don't believe in God or heaven... thats fine i push my beiliefs on no one at all... There has to be someone behind the driving force to keep you going and showing your prescious gift from God the love you have for her... i would have to say that is liz her spirit whispering in your ear each day to guide you ,i just want you to know i will be keeping you in my prayers as she grows each year that you will be able to make the right choices for her until she can learn from her own mistakes... God has blessed you with many people reaching out to you...may you keep up the good work ,it takes more than a man to be a father and you have that gift... let blessings rain down upon you and your daughter now and through out your lives together =) may God bless you both =) and keep you safe from all world harm as you continue to nurteur your baby girl ....
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1-29-2009 @ 3:38PM
Theresa said...I'm so sorry for your loss! Your little girl is so beautiful! I Just have one piece of advice, although you went though a painful time don't ever give up on love! Sometimes we can't understand things that happen to us in life and we all have questions, but as long as you have faith, Hope, and Love you'll be fine. Best wishes to both you and your daughter.
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1-29-2009 @ 4:20PM
Mark said...In 1995 I lost my wife to breast cancer that was doscovered four years earlier after she gave birth to our third child. My wife was 34 at the time of her death. Our third child, a daughter, was four at the time of my wife's death, and her brothers were eight and twelve respectively. The story is detailed at markstewartwatercolor.com, but aside from the practical rigors of being "mr. mom" or a suddenly single parent, there is the deep ache of the cosmic/spiritual issue of "why." How and why does God allow these seemingly unnecessary tragedies occur, and how can the surviving spouse, or parent, find meaning or purpose in the enormous loss?
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1-29-2009 @ 3:03PM
Dotti said...First my condolences for the loss of your wife and second you have the most joy in your arms every night I am sure losing your wife was horrifing. I just lost a brother 42 and a dad 6 weeks later hen found out on christmas eve I had ulcerative colitis. I have raised 4 beautiful children as a single parent I will tell you sometimes I thought I would pull my hair out 3 girls and a boy and the first three were within 1977 - 1980 but I wouldn't change a thing they have all gone to college lots of loans they and myself took out, but they are doing better than me and isn't that what raising a child is what life is all about? Giving them more than you ever had is a great feeling. You already know that thou I am sure I see you holding your beautiful little Madeline you will cherish her forever...your a wonderful father you could teach alot if so called dads what a DAD really is. I wish you the best for yourself and your beautiful little angel you hold so gently.
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1-29-2009 @ 3:09PM
lexi said...when i was seven, my mom died, leaving my dad with four small kids to raise. its a tough thing, especially when single dads have these little girls who are going through puberty and don't have a mother to turn to. but trust me, it'll all work out. you're very brave for not backing into a corner and crying yourself to sleep every night. i can't imagine what it's like for YOU, but i know it will help your daughter to have a loving father whose always there for her and will never deceive her. it helped me get past most of the pain.
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1-29-2009 @ 3:09PM
Ange said...the biggest difference between him and alot of the single moms out there is the fact that he's a single dad by a tragic event.
unfortunately a large number of single moms are that way due to a long list of very poor choices...
1 - having sex with a loser/no good mo-fo
2 - choosing to keep the resulting child
3 - not having the means to provide for resulting child
4 - burdening our society by going on welfare
5 - having another child by yet another loser/mo-fo
women need to remember that EVERYTIME she has intercourse it could result in a child, no matter which birth control is being used(none is 100% effective) and ask herself "Is this guy good enough to father my child?"
think about it....
I'm NOT saying that we all need to not have sex.
I AM saying that better choices need to be made, that's all.
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1-29-2009 @ 3:09PM
Jessica H. said...sad story...and it was even more sad when i saw the obama shirt.
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1-29-2009 @ 3:13PM
weeze said...Alex,did anyone ever tell you that you are A clone of Rain man.stop saying the same thing over& over.
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1-29-2009 @ 3:27PM
tammy said...After 6 episodes with blood clots in my lungs, at one time over 20 in my lung and then hearing these stories of people dying by just one episode, I hug my kids more tightly and cherish the times I have here with my kids and grandkids and thank God for allowing me one more day. I beat the odds and many don't and I don't question why. So hearing his story made me feel so scared that maybe the next one I have might just indeed kill me, they can't stop them even with medicine in me, we just never know when its our time. I grieved for him and his child today after hearing this story and again didn't question why it happened, just that it did and it left a baby never knowing its mother and a father left to explain why. I will pray for him and his child and hope that God will heal his heart and give him peace to replace the sadness and joy to replace the hurt for her legacy lives on in her child and he has that to comfort him. May God Bless him and his family during this difficult time of loss.
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1-29-2009 @ 3:16PM
Evelyn said...Sometimes God's love is expressed through the smiles and warmth from strangers. A kind word or a friendly gesture is sent from Angels who watch over us. Being that Liz is now one among all other angels
she walks beside him guiding him to help guide their baby.
I truly believe, that our inner strength is in a kind word, a kind act, even a kind person, who helps you understand that it's going to be ok
and they help bring out the strength that we require to survive and go on, when we feel all hope is gone.
I wish you all the support and love that you've had, have and will continue to receive,
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1-29-2009 @ 3:18PM
Laura Corby said...What Matt did was courageous. He took his horrific circumstances and turned them into an opportunity to help others. Yes, there are single parents out there ever day struggling and quite often complaining, rather than doing something about it. I don't, however, see most of them using their situation for the benefit of others and turning a horrible life tragedy into a positive opportunity. Life happens, and we have the CHOICE to make something positive out of every negative circumstance that appears along our journey. KUDOS Matt. You would be justified in keeping the money, however, I applaud you for doing the noble thing and helping others. Hey, maybe even split it, so help yourself, and others! Just food for thought!
Laura Corby, Founder/CEO
Autism Solution Center, Inc.
http://www.autismsolutioncenter.org
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1-29-2009 @ 3:23PM
aduh said...Not to take anything away from this man for actually raising his daughter and not dumping her on some relative.But women world wide do this everyday with more then one child.I find it very strange that it's always celebrated when a man who is this childs father is raising her.
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1-29-2009 @ 3:28PM
Lynn said...Matt, your wife Liz would be proud. And your daughter Madeline is a gorgeous little angel and very lucky having a Dad like you. You're doing a great job and you'll continue doing a great job, cause you love her dearly. All parents question if they're doing the right things. All parents worry about their children's futures. It's ok. And because you male does not mean you won't be giving her all the 'motherly' love she needs. You are. You will. Cause all she really needs is that love. And you have that. In spades!
The first diaper I ever changed was my daughter's. I knew nothing. The motherhood part just took over - naturally, as it has been doing all along with your parenting. You're an inspiration to ALL parents.
And btw, I never knew how to 'french braid' but figured it out somewhere along the way. And my daughter's hair was waiste-length! lol Hang in there. And I hope love finds you again in your life. You're an awesome guy.
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1-29-2009 @ 3:34PM
Angela said...I was married to a widower who had 2 sons. Only he wouldn't or couldn't express himself and eased his pain by drinking to excess. His wife had died several years before we met and initially he seemed a very out-going person. My daughter and I got on very well with his sons but his drinking became impossibly heavy and I made the sad decision to leave with my young daughter. His sons were at the stage of leaving home.
I am so GLAD to see Matt expressing himself and working through his grief and doing such a good job raising his beautiful daughter. He is right - it is better than sitting in a corner and drinking. And yes, a lot of other men and women have experienced terrible loss in similar circumstances. The difference here being, that if Matt's blog helps one single person through their grief, then he should take some comfort in that.
Well done Matt, take care, and to anyone else who has suffered such terrible loss or are grieving as we speak, my thoughts are with you all.
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1-29-2009 @ 3:27PM
jamie said...The pictures are so beautiful. I hate that im crying after I just did my makeup. God bless both of them.
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2-03-2009 @ 10:22PM
jennyvik garcia said...a single woman raising kids is no longer news or a thing out of the ordinary, even thou there are many more women raising kids alone, when a single guy decides to rise a kid alone due to death or divorce, it becomes news because men are not typically
so brave or mature when it comes to raising kids or suporting them financially.
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1-30-2009 @ 2:31PM
Karon said...Kudos to you for the wonderful job you are doing loving and raising your darling little girl. Matt, you and Madeline both need to know that the day will come when you can both again be with Liz. I urge you to contact your nearest Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints for some counseling on this subject. One day you will know the peace and promise that the three of you can be together forever more through eternity. It will be extremely important for Madeline to know this promise.
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1-29-2009 @ 3:29PM
taylor said...this is so sad. i am glad Liz has a daddy that cares for her. my dad moved to Las Vegas when my mom had me. we lived in MA. he didnt want to meet me till i was 3 years old and now he wonders y i dont like to tlk to him. i have relized that in an estimate i have seen my dad aprox 1 mounth( 30 days) out of my 14 years of life. my prayers r with him and his beautiful daughter. God bless him for not starting drinking nd not apandon his little girl. HE will be a very good daddy. and mabe one day (though it may be hard to do) he will find a new mommy(not really no one can replace a mom) but someone can come close) for Liz.
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