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Matt and Madeline - Life, Love and Death on a Blog
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Mattlogelin.com, like many personal blogs, is an open diary of everyday stories and domestic snapshots meant for a closed circle of family and friends. But here it departs from the ordinary and takes a different and difficult storyline.
On March 24, 2008, Matt Logelin posted on the joyous arrival of his and wife Liz's new baby. Madeline was born small -- 3 lbs. 14 oz. -- but healthy. The blog took a horrific turn when Liz died one day later after a lethal blood clot lodged in her lung. "It's an understatement to say my life has changed," he told ParentDish.com. "I had a birth and a death in 27 hours."
In a way, though, his blog (and the community, mostly women, that's grown around it) saved his life. That public between the parentheses, as many as 40,000 a day strong, has offered this 31-year-old widower and single dad support, solace, advice and, most importantly, an opportunity to give back to other struggling single parents.
The Liz Logelin Foundation is an organization dedicated to financially "assist families who find themselves in the heartbreaking, catastrophic situation of having lost a spouse, life-partner, and parent." Donations are accepted online, and this past September there was a fund-raising walk-run that raised over $4,000 that went to three local Los Angeles families.
"Originally, the money was to go to us," he said. "When she died I lost roughly 60 percent of our income. And it's expensive raising a baby, especially if you can't breastfeed. But when we started to raise money, I thought, 'There are people worse off than us. In a bad economy, what do you do?'"
It's a question Logelin asks himself every day. And we put it out to you.
What would you do in his circumstance? Do you blog, or know of one, with such a unique story? Has has it affected for changed your life? View our slideshow, check out Matt's blog and let us know.
On March 24, 2008, Matt Logelin posted on the joyous arrival of his and wife Liz's new baby. Madeline was born small -- 3 lbs. 14 oz. -- but healthy. The blog took a horrific turn when Liz died one day later after a lethal blood clot lodged in her lung. "It's an understatement to say my life has changed," he told ParentDish.com. "I had a birth and a death in 27 hours."
Matt Logelin and Madeline
Matt and Madeline (and Liz)
life and death. all in a 27-hour period. what you read here is what follows. So begins the blog of Matt Logelin, a single father grieving over his beloved wife's death and treasuring the joys of bringing up baby.
Courtesy of Matt Logelin
Mom Meets Madeline
"[Liz] was a little frightened, but she was also just worried about Madeline. That's the only time she saw Madeline. She never got to touch her. That was it; that was all she got. And I think that's one of the most difficult things for me because the doctors immediately took her back to the NICU." Madeline was born at 3-pounds, 13.5-ounces.
The longest We Were Apart Was 3 Months
We got engaged in Kathmandu in Nepal. We've been all over the world. I would like to take [Liz's] ashes to different places with Madeline that I visited with Liz and say, 'Look, your mom was mad at me because it was 105 degrees in Kathmandu and I was making her sit at the foot of a temple when we'd gotten off a plane the night before, and then I got out a diamond ring.' And I could say, 'This is where we made our commitment to each other.'"
In a way, though, his blog (and the community, mostly women, that's grown around it) saved his life. That public between the parentheses, as many as 40,000 a day strong, has offered this 31-year-old widower and single dad support, solace, advice and, most importantly, an opportunity to give back to other struggling single parents.
The Liz Logelin Foundation is an organization dedicated to financially "assist families who find themselves in the heartbreaking, catastrophic situation of having lost a spouse, life-partner, and parent." Donations are accepted online, and this past September there was a fund-raising walk-run that raised over $4,000 that went to three local Los Angeles families.
"Originally, the money was to go to us," he said. "When she died I lost roughly 60 percent of our income. And it's expensive raising a baby, especially if you can't breastfeed. But when we started to raise money, I thought, 'There are people worse off than us. In a bad economy, what do you do?'"
It's a question Logelin asks himself every day. And we put it out to you.
What would you do in his circumstance? Do you blog, or know of one, with such a unique story? Has has it affected for changed your life? View our slideshow, check out Matt's blog and let us know.
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ReaderComments (Page 7 of 17)
1-29-2009 @ 4:01PM
Catherine said...This reminds me of my grandfather who was a widower with a son when he met and married my grandmother, a widow with a son. My mother was one of their children. In his first marriage, my grandfather had much sorrow. His first wife died in child birth. His mother died a day after his wife's death and his baby daughter died two weeks later. What a tragedy in his life!
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1-29-2009 @ 4:13PM
Emma said...My husband's father passed away almost 18 years ago, leaving my MIL to raise 4 boys, ages 15, 13, 11, and 7. My husband was the youngest. My MIL re-married a few years later (hubby's dad was very ill for a long time, the death was expected) to a great man whom my husband conciders his dad.
Matt, it's very early to think of yet, but don't feel guilty if you meet another woman and wish to marry her. I can tell by watching and speaking to my in-laws that her 2nd husband didn't replace her 1st, not by any means. But her current husband is a very important person in her life and she loves him very much. Don't feel like you're doing the wrong thing if at some point in the future you find a great lady who would be a loving wife to you, and mom to your little girl.
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1-29-2009 @ 4:06PM
txbulldog1 said...God bless all of them. It's a hard thing to raise a child with 2 parents but even harder doing it alone and grieving the loss of your spouse on top of it all. This man needs to inspiration to all men because there are so many of them out there who turn their kids away this is what you call a REAL MAN! It looks like he's doing a wonderful job with her and I'm sure he will continue to do so.
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1-30-2009 @ 12:37AM
Lynnda said...Keep up the blogging, I recall reading your story, a little while back, I think you are entitled, and should not feel guilty, you need help too, it is not easy for you raising this beautiful little girl alone, if anything we thank you for sharing your story, keep us in touch, Daisey
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1-29-2009 @ 4:11PM
amandalvn said...All I can say is good luck to you!
In time you get used to the idea of being a single parent. Especially when you have a great support group of family and friends. But it is rarely easy. I do know this because when I was 16, yes I know i was young when I had my daughter, i was pregnant with 7 weeks to go and my daughters father died in an accident. But, 13 1/2 years later with a teenager it is getting a little tougher then it was when she was little. I think to myself often, and tell her too, "If only your dad was here it would be different!".
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1-29-2009 @ 4:15PM
MOMO-BABY said...I had the pleasure of meeting both Matt and Madeline at the Golden globes Baby event. A wonderful father and a tremendous little girl. I wish the best to both. I hope the products that we gave them will make his parenting a little easier.
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1-29-2009 @ 4:17PM
Irenka41 said...Best wishes and may all blessings come to you and your daughter. It is a long and as all journeys not easy. Very comforting to know that your daughter have a responsible and loving parent. Also heart breaking ,that she wouldn't know her mother. Pictures make me smile and brought tears - you do try to "dig" pink :).
I hope you would also incorporate help of grandparents- especially your in-laws . For me keys are: love, responsibility,moderation,modesty, but all with lots of TLC(tender loving care).It is also important, that your home - be a happy place. Somewhere on a way you might even meet someone, not as a replacement ,but as a happy partner for life. Grandparents and a extended family, absolutely a must, unless something horrible prevent you from been a part of . Friends as well- nothing ,like been surrounded by loving group of people - who know you from a diaper times... I grew up with my grandparents from my father side, have a" half"- sister, we live a different sides of the globe, she is 13 yrs junior of me, we are so close and love each other so much( ( we communicate on a weekly basic ). I have 3 grown children ( 1 of them stepchild) and 4 grand kids, my sister- mother of 3 too - we both happily married , all thou for me its took 1 more and successful attempt .. Really, wish you best of luck !
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1-29-2009 @ 4:21PM
Charlynnskye said...I think it is a way that he has come up with to deal with his sorrow. No one knows how they will deal with a tragedy in their life until it happens. So God bless you and your precious daughter and I'm sure your wife is smiling down on you and your little girl every day.
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1-29-2009 @ 4:46PM
ilene said...I think this man must be one of the few really great guys living in the USA. I feel that he should do what he feels is right for him and Madeline. I'm sure he's given it a lot of thought and his heart will guide him. I'm a single mom and raised my son (age 20) on $150 a month. There's no reason for anyone to be upset if they don't get this money. God bless daddy and his girl!
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1-29-2009 @ 4:20PM
phishie said...A mother has a special bond with her kid, more than the father because the baby is attached to the mother for many months. It's a bond that no man can ever completely understand. This father has to find it in himself to get passed his wife's death and be a mother and a father at the same time to his kid. Especially when 60% of there income was lost. Most men would have a very hard time to adjust to this unfortunate change of life. A lot wouldn't be strong enough to do it. That's my opinion as a father of 2 girls.
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1-29-2009 @ 4:22PM
michele said...SHE IS ABSOLUTELY A PRECIOUS GIFT FROM GOD. I WANT SAY THAT HE IS DOING A WONDERFUL JOB RAISING HER. YOUR WIFE IS VERY PROUD OF YOU
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1-29-2009 @ 4:21PM
phishie said...A mother has a special bond with her kid, more than the father because the baby is attached to the mother for many months. It's a bond that no man can ever completely understand. This father has to find it in himself to get passed his wife's death and be a mother and a father at the same time to his kid. Especially when 60% of there income was lost. Most men would have a very hard time to adjust to this unfortunate change of life. A lot wouldn't be strong enough to do it. That's my opinion as a father of 2 girls.
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1-29-2009 @ 4:22PM
Lois said...Matt and Madeline will be remembered in my prayers.
I was widowed at the age of 43 with 3 children to rear, alone. It is a bit overwhelming at first, but somehow things fell into place. Even though our income was cut by 2/3s, we never missed a meal and our mortgage was always paid ( thank God for insurance).
I must give all credit to God who supplied every need up to this present day. I am now 74 years old, still widowed and still blessed.
I always say, I don't know how you feel exactly, but I can emphathize with you. My husband's death was expected after an illness. A sudden death is more devastating because you are never prepared for that eventuality.
God bless you and your precious baby.
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1-29-2009 @ 4:26PM
Michael Chackman said...God Bless you Matt and your beautiful daughter. Its so sad to loose your wife in a 27 hour period. May god guide you in your life to continue in these trouble times. I'm sorry about your wife may god bless her also. God will help you and will guide you.
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1-29-2009 @ 4:30PM
michelle said...You are a great father and one day you will meet someone who would love your little as much as you do.
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1-29-2009 @ 4:28PM
Anne said...How wonderful that this young man has found a way to express his pain and grief. Women usually reach out to other women for their support and encouragement while most men keep to themselves, don't share their feelings and therefore have a much more difficult time healing from their loss.
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1-29-2009 @ 4:30PM
Shaye said...God Bless you dear, I could only imagine what you have been through, you have a beautiful wife and daughter. Everything will work out well for you and your little one.
God bless!
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1-29-2009 @ 4:32PM
Stephanie said...My family also went through a similar loss 20 yrs ago. My sister was carrying twins; she was very excited, but not doing well. She was easily breathless from just getting up from a chair. She wasn't gaining the weight normally gained w/ twin pregnancy; her dr wasn't taking her symptons seriously --- just told her its normal to be breathless. She went into premature labor (6 wks early), the babies were 3 and 4 lbs and were doing surprisingly well; but my sister was put on oxygen. Each day her oxygen level was raised a little higher. About a week later she was transferred to a hospital in Wash DC, put in ICU w/ cameras monitoring her. She went thur many, many uncomfortable tests to eliminate what was wrong w/ her. She also had quarter-size bruises on her body, her platelet count was only 17,000. Drs were considering a lung -heart transplant. Then, 19 days after giving birth, she died. My sister had the sympton of primary pulmunary hypertension (hi blood pressure in the lungs) and it was stressing her heart. She basically suffucated.
Unlike the story of Matt & Madeline, my sister's husband left the babies in the care of my parents (in late 60s) for 6 months - and they loved it, but the dad didn't come visit them, feed them, hold them, bond w/ them ! Friends rationalize to us that he was grieving ..... well so were we, my parents lost a daughter, we losst a sister, but that's unacceptable not to bond w/ your precious babies.
God Bless you Madeline for having a very caring Dad. I will keep you and your Dad, your mom's family & your dad's family in my prayers.
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1-29-2009 @ 4:44PM
DOT said...This is the first time I have seen all GOOD comments about a story.
God bless you Matt, and you deserve all of the attention!
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1-29-2009 @ 4:37PM
emiy said...What happend to Matt's .com site? I cant get on it. The web says the page is not found for every link I have tried.
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