"Boys and Girls Alone" Leaves Parenting Out of Reality TV

by Bethany Sanders (Subscribe to Bethany Sanders's posts) Feb 5th 2009 6:00PM

Categories: Teens & tweens, Weird But True

Some are calling it "Big Brother Junior" or "Lord of the Flies 2009." But no matter what you call it, almost everyone is in agreement that UK reality show Boys and Girls Alone amounts to one thing: The exploitation of kids for ratings.

Producers put kids -- who were "volunteered" by their parents -- into two camps, one for boys and one for girls. Each camp consisted of three houses, and once filming started, the kids were left to fend for themselves. Though parents watched on closed circuit television, they didn't intervene unless things got dicey.

Reality TV Moms

by Gabrielle Linzer

Think being a mother is hard? Try doing a decent job with a full camera crew under your feet 24/7. Some mothers have chosen to put their lives on display for the world to revere or condemn. Here, reality TV's best known mommas.

AP | Getty Images | FilmMagic | Getty Images

Former Biggest Loser contestant Amy Wolff is expecting her first child in July with husband and co-contestant, Marty Wolff. "I feel like the luckiest pregnant girl ever."

Trae Patton, NBC

Michelle Duggar

This 2004 Arkansas "Young Mother of the Year" doesn't believe in birth control, and it shows. Michelle Duggar is set to give birth to her 18th child in 2009 according to Discovery Health, which may prompt TLC to change her show's name to "18 Kids and Counting"!

Beth Hall, AP

Amy Roloff

Amy Roloff may be little, but as you can see on "Little People, Big World," she has a huge heart. As the backbone of a half little, half average height family, Roloff encourages her average height children to succeed, but also commiserates with the struggles of her little son, Zach.

Thos Robinson, Getty Images

Kate Gosselin

Kate Gosselin didn't set out to create a family of eight, but her genes had other plans. Managing her set of twins and sextuplets with ease, this model mother makes having eight children look manageable, and maybe even a little bit fun.

Amy Sussman, Getty Images

Denise Richards

We've been hearing about Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen drama in the tabloids for years, but when Richards decided to get her own reality TV show, we learned she wasn't kidding when she claimed "It's Complicated." Between her messy, public divorce, raising her children and maintaining her status as a sex symbol, Richards' life is certainly more dramatic than the average mom.

Jason LaVeris, FilmMagic

NeNe Leakes

Arguably the most popular housewife in Atlanta, it's not surprising that NeNe Leakes upstages her two sons with social drama and her outspoken personality, Despite her magnetism to controversy, Leakes told Essence she still makes time to help others through her organization, "The Twisted Hearts Foundation," which promotes knowledge about domestic violence in the community.

Bravo

Tori Spelling

Although she was often upstaged by her late pug Mimi La Rue in the past, Spelling is a force to reckon with as she pursued entrepreneurship and stayed in the spotlight all while eight months pregnant with her second child, Stella. Now, as a mother of two back in L.A., Spelling continues to take on Hollywood at full steam with her role on the newly renewed 90210 series.

Chris Polk, FilmMagic

Mommy Meerkat

These moms are wilder than most of the other matriarchs on reality TV, but they manage their families with the same loving care. Dominant female Flower rose to power and led her pack, the Whiskers, for more than five years. These tough mommas are experts at multi-tasking, as they are filmed foraging, caring for their young and fiercely battling enemies to protect the pack.

Animal Planet

Renee Wilson

Appeared on "The Biggest Loser" with daughter Michelle Aguilar. Renee, 47, lost 45 pounds in seven weeks. "She was the quintessential yo-yo dieter," Michelle, 27, told "Prevention." Luckily the mother-daughter team was able to use familial motivation to break their old habits and start living a healthier lifestyle.

Trae Patton, NBC Photo

Dicey doesn't even begin to describe it. By day two, many of the children were sobbing uncontrollably. Others turned violent. Says one mom, 'We went in on the third day and Matthew ran up to my husband, Neil, and hit him. Then he turned and twice hit me, which he's never done before. I couldn't believe how much he was swearing."

Interestingly, that same mom says she thought her red-headed, overweight boy would be bullied on the show, and she's surprised by his aggressive reaction. I say I'm surprised by her decision to put him on TV in the first place. In fact, I'm surprised anyone would think this was a good idea. Parents went in on day three to soothe the kids' frazzled nerves, but most stayed on for the full two weeks of this experiment. What do we learn from this?

Judgment aside, parents and producers did learn something about their kids. Without supervision, the boys turned on each other physically, couldn't fend for themselves well in the kitchen, and cried for their mommies. The girls, surprisingly, were far more "Lord of the Flies" in their behavior. They fought as aggressively as the boys did, but their bullying was emotional in nature.

What did the kids think? Twelve-year-old girl Charley says, "'I thought I'd like it without adults, but I was surprised to find it was really hard. My mum and I have grown closer now, and I help her at home when she asks me. I really appreciate my mum and dad now. I didn't realize how much you need your parents."

No one ever does, Charley. No one ever does.

What about you? Is Boys and Girls Alone about kids exploiting kids, or is it parents exploiting kids? Or, maybe it's Channel 4 exploiting all of us?

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Comments (26)

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)

Kellie 2-05-2009 @ 6:51PM

I cannot even compute this in my brain. How does a parent throw their kids into a home with no supervision?

Also, knowing your child is going to get picked on and still subjecting him to it?

My son is six. He is starting to struggle in an area in school and is now receiving special help in that area. Right now, the kids don't think it's something to tease about. They think it's cool he gets to leave the class. If it becomes an issue (I mean an issue where our son is really feeling bullied), my hubby and I have discussed homeschooling (hiring teachers to teach him because neither one of us are teachers) so he isn't teased academically and then making sure he is involved in sports and programs that will keep him interacting with his peers. Let me make it clear, it has to be something that is really affecting who he is. I fully believe kids need to deal with hardship, but there is a line, and I won't make my kid cross it if I don't have to.

Teasing is a part of growing up. Building a thick skin is important. Knowingly throwing your child in a situation where he is being bullied in front of the whole world could shape who this little guy is for life. It's not ok!

kathy 2-08-2009 @ 7:05AM

HI KELLY.

MY NAME IS KATHY,AND I READ YOUR ARTICAL ON YOUR SON BEING TEASED IN SCHOOL AND HES ONLY 6 YEARS OLD.
FIRST OF ALL,I CAN SEE IT IS AFFECTING YOU ALOT AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW IM NOT TRYING TO BE HARSH,BUT WHEN A CHILD IS 6 YEARS OLD,AND BEING TEASED,THIS IS NOT A REASON TO TAKE THEM OUT OF SCHOOL.FIRST OF ALL THE BEST THING TO DO ,IS FIND OUT WHO THE KIDS ARE WHO ARE TEASING HIM,AND GO TO THE PARENTS,
OR MAYBE SIT IN THE CLASS ROOM FROM TIME TO TIME,AND HELP THE TEACHER AND SEE WHO AND WORK ON THEM BEING FRIENDS,TELL WHO EVER IS TEASING HIM THAT IT WILL NOT BE TOLOERATED.
MY GRANDSON IS 6 AND WE HAD AN INCEDENT AT BASKETBALL PRACTICE WHERE A KID WAS BULLING MY GRANDSON,AND SO MY HUSBAND WENT TO THE KIDS AND TOLD HIM TO KNOCK IT OFF AND THE COACH WAS RIGHT THERE AND SEEN IT,BUT DIDNT SAY A THING,SO WE CALLED HIM TO DISCUSS THIS MATTER AND IT WAS TAKEN CARE OF AND THE KID HAS NOT TOUCHED HIM SENCE,ITS BETTER TO NIP IT WITH MORE AUTHORITY THAN TO LET IT GO INTO SOMETHING DRASTIC.
IF THIS IS AFFECTING YOUR CHILD ,MAYBE SOME COUNSELING ALSO,WE HAVE MY GRANDSON INO COUNSELING AND HES BEEN GOING SENCE HE WAS 5,NOHING WRONG WITH IT,AND ITS NOT THAT HES CRAZY,ITS JUST HE HAS ISSUES WIH HIS PARENTS TAKEN HIM FROM US,WHEN WE HAVE RAISED HIM SENCE HE WAS 6 MONTHS OLD,SO WE HAVE BEEN WORKING ON THIS WIH HIM THROUGH COUNSELING.
KELLY SOMETIMES IT TAKES TIME AND PATIENTS,I MOVED HERE FROM CALIFORNIA AND WHEN MY DAUGHTER WAS 12 AND SHE USE TO COME HOME CRYING THAT SHE WANTED TO GO BACK HOME,BUT I TOLD HER TO GIVE IT TIME AND SHED ADJUST,AND SHE DID AND SHE MADE FRIENDS AND SHES IN COLLEGE AND HAS ALL KINDS OF FRIENDS.
WHEN I WAS GROWING UP,I HAD KIDS BARK AT ME ON THE SCHOOL BUS ,PULL MY HAIR AND EVEN TOOK A DINNER BUKET AND BROKE MY FRONT TEETH,I LOOKED LIKE OLIVE OIL WHEN I WAS GROWING UP,AS I WAS A STRING BEAN,SO I KNOW HOW IT WAS TO BE TEASED,AND I MADE IT HROUGH LIFE AND SO WILL YOUR SON,JUST DONT TRY TO DEFEND EVERY LITTLE THING HE DOES OR SOMEONE DOES,IT WILL BE HARDER ON HIM AND WONT KNOW HOW TO DEFEND HIMSELF.GOOD LUCK KELLY

Angie 2-08-2009 @ 7:41AM

"Teasing is part of growing up" WHAT! Apparently you have never been on the receiving end of being teased by kids in school. It's not character building, I can tell you that for sure! I can remember with vivid clarity of being teased and degraded by others in elementary school, and I'm 39. It disgusts me that people would think that the kids are just being kids and let this happen, the parents should better monitor their children, and the teachers should involve themselves alot more when they see this happening to a child. You have no idea what this does to a childs self esteem, to be teased and bullied, just look at what happens to them when they can't take it anymore, they go to school with guns and go on a killing rampage. When will parents wake up!!

glimmmerr 2-08-2009 @ 9:38AM

Teasing can go to levels of emotional and mental abuse. I put up with it as a kid until I finally got the nerve to bitchslap one of the little skanks that tortured me through grade school and junior high. Thankfully after that most of the little morons backed off and let me the hell alone. All I can say now is that age 49 I wouldn't be caught dead at a high school reunion, but I sure as hell like to let them know that I've acheived so much more than most of those morons who never had the guts to leave the town they grew up in... most are working at good old Walmart or some other equally 'prestigious' company or are mucking out the barn. A few little scumbags can ruin a childhood... but those of us that got picked on will always remember the decent human beings. Parents have a responsibility to raise their kids to treat others as they would like to be treated or they're a total failure as a parent. Karma is very real, what goes around comes around.

homeschooling parent 2-08-2009 @ 10:20AM

Hi, Kellie. I just wanted to say that you appear to be taking a very thoughtful approach to your child's school experience. I'd like to add that you do not need to be a teacher to effectively homeschool your child, and in fact, in many states, you cannot hire a teacher to do it for you under the state's homeschooling regulations. While quite a few homeschooling parents are teachers, most are not, and studies have shown that they are very capably educating their children. I think that classroom teaching and homeschooling are very different challenges. It is not that hard to teach your own child or children whom you know intimately. A school teacher, however, needs to be trained to manage a classroom which is often overcrowded, underfunded, and which usually contains a vast disparity in learning styles and academic abilities. God bless teachers, and what they do for our children! Their training is obviously invaluable, but I don't think it is necessary for the homeschooling parent.

Derek 2-06-2009 @ 8:53AM

Speaking of reality TV shows, I'm surprised I haven't seen an article on PD about "toddlers and tiarras"... the beauty pageant for kids... you know because the kids "want" to compete.

I've never watched it, I never will... it sickens me that there are people who would sexualize a child at such a young age. Not only that, but the self esteem issues the child will develope because of if. ACK... I'm just sick... I can't even fathom what drives people and the viewers of these shows sometimes...

BUT about the specific show mentioned here... I totaly support it... I mean the parents probably got paid to put their children through the ringer and what's more important in life your child's development or money?

/end sarcasm

Anonymous 2-08-2009 @ 8:48AM

Tell Alex- you know, that pervert that said something about a celeb sex video about 2 hours ago- to shut his mouth. This about child tv- NOT SEX VIDEOS!!

Sorry about the shouting.

Josephine 2-08-2009 @ 11:51AM

If the core point of this programme is to see if our "cotton-wool" children of today can survive on their own, then it is utterly pointless. Children are meant to have parents, it provides stability and appropriate boundaries as well as a gradual learning of how to behave and care for themselves/others. At eight, would the parents have known how to cook and clean? Would they have been disciplined in housework routine? Would they have been truly grateful for all their parents were doing? NO, they would be eight-year old children who sometimes whine when they can't have their own way - just as their children are trying to be.

The parents seem to suggest the children will learn from this experience how to care for themselves, and how much they do for them: duh, if you don't want to spend the rest of your life caring for someone then don't have children, and how are they expected to learn tasks like cooking with no one to show them? Surely it would be far more productive to show them at home how to switch on a kettle and cook pasta.

I did notice that the children didn't seem to be taken from a wide sample of the communities. They seemed to be very much lower middle class, some maybe working, and this could easily effect the outcome of the programme. If we had seen a bigger range, even upper-middle to working it could have been more accurate, really. I hope this comment is taken the right way, it is just my opinion, and I simply think different classes bring up children slightly differently which is an interesting focal point.

Also, one of the girls who seems to bully Lorna (and most of the other girls if we're honest) needs a lot more than a few firm words, in my opinion. It should be looked into by her parents if she has behaved this way before and if her "strong character" described in her school report is a little more than that. I understand arguements over who gets which pillow and why we play your game not mine, but these arguements seem ridiculous. The children are trying to mimic adults and failing because they ARE immature; they're children.

Maybe if we let our children grow-up at a normal pace, look like eight year olds not seventeen year olds, eat normal healthy meals, play outside and (horror) get muddy every now and then and stop expecting them to come out the womb as miniature politicians, housewives and fashionistas prone to obesity and anorexia and endangered by vaccines and fresh air then maybe they would be ok - not perfect of course, nobody is, but ok.

Jordan Best 2-08-2009 @ 6:32AM

Stupid, stupid parents. Why in the world are parents becoming such idiots these days?

Dave 2-08-2009 @ 8:09AM

I hate these reality shows. I really hate when they have marathons of the same show all day. Who wants to watch the midgets all day or the people with the annoying kids. Why do these dumb network CEOs think this is ok ? Than they wonder why their ratings drop. TLC used to have such interesting programs on. Now it's full of reality shows, and to make it worse, most of the time it's repeats.

jeff 2-08-2009 @ 8:32AM

Could be a very helpful experience. But you just don't know.

DJN 2-08-2009 @ 8:38AM

Something about this speaks of modern, pampering helicopter parenting.

I'm not saying I would've been happy being without my mother, the sole parent in the house most of my youth, for two weeks when I was 8 and in a place with older kids. But by 10? I knew how to cook safely, vacuum, dust, clean and do all those other things you have to do to maintain yourself and a household. I also knew I liked doing it on my own schedule -- those Saturdays Mom spent in college classes when I was 11 were heaven. Many of my friends, latchkey kids also, were the same way. Definitely by 12, we could've been left solo for a week or two without disintegrating into madness.

These days, when parents have been frightened by media into thinking the world is more dangerous for kids (statistically, it isn't -- we just know about stuff when it happens), little Johnny or Suzy isn't allowed to do anything on their own -- household chores, homework, work out problems with each other. So you get these results in this kind of petri dish, the phrase "Failure to Launch" and young professionals' parents calling their employers to complain on their behalf, like their boss was their fifth-grade teacher.

beck 2-08-2009 @ 9:16AM

I was bullied in school and I wasn't the only one ! I didn't get a gun and shoot the other students and no teacher came to my rescue, but one ! I had an over bite and the kids called me names and teased me all the time ! It is a part of life I could have lived without, but it helped me become strong and I can stand up for myself ! I am in my 50's now and if you try to mess with me, big mistake !

Pat 2-08-2009 @ 10:15AM

you going to bite us Bucky

Dee 2-08-2009 @ 9:40AM

Seriously What kind of parent would allow this? How stupid or hard up for money can you get, to leave you most precious possesions in such a dangerous situation? SHAME ON THESE PARENTS NOT THE TV SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

UncleD 2-08-2009 @ 9:47AM

When I looked at the AOL home page headline, it said that 42% thought the show was stupid and dangerous...leaving the impression that 58% thought the show was okay. Surprise, suprise, when i clicked onto the story...48% thought the show was stupid and dangerous, but only 19% saw nothing wrong with the show. Pay attention AOL..headline should have read that only 19% of the people thought there was nothing wrong with the show.

Lacy 2-08-2009 @ 10:55AM

More than likely, more people voted on this poll after the headline was written, so the percentage changed.

Justine 2-08-2009 @ 9:47AM

I thought I saw Kid's Nation on CBS. I thought it was stupid the way it was done. A new show with the same premise is a bad idea. If they want to do it anyway they should do it with older kids. They would be more mature for what is in store for them. I did hear however that there were things done on the set that were not right and kept secret. I am not a parent but if I was I would not let my child on a show like this. I love Big Brother, but it is with adults. Kids don't need to be put into a situation like that.

REbecca 2-08-2009 @ 10:09AM

They had this very same show here in the U.S. I refused to watch it to give them any ratings. The coming attractions alone showed alot of these kids crying some as young as 8 years old. I don't blame the producers. I blame the parents! No way in hell would I allow my son to fend for himself at such a young age. Just like they had disasterous results in just 3 days the same happened on the show that aired here.

Gina 2-08-2009 @ 10:12AM

What moron thought up this show and even worse, what IDIOT parents allowed their kids to be on it? They must be so desperate to get their kids into showbiz that they didn't care what dangers lay ahead just as long as their kid got on tv.

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