More Work, Fewer Perks for Moms This Year
Categories: Just For Moms, Mommy Musts, Chores
When the economy stinks, moms pay the price! A recent article in the Washington Times examined why the recession disproportionately impacts moms: during hard times, families "tend to fall back on traditional roles." Why? Because the first things to go when a family cuts back are household tasks that they once outsourced. From cleaning services, to tailoring, to sending Dad's shirts out for laundering, chances are that mom is the one "picking up the slack."
Take, for example, an exceptionally busy weeknight. During a recession, it's less likely to be remedied with take-out, which means more cooking and cleaning for mom. Sure, it's better for the family's waistline, but it's harder on women who are already doing more than their share of household chores.
And that's not all: just as the workload increases, moms can count on less perks to rejuvenate and recharge their batteries. To the uninitiated, manicures, pedicures, and the Friday night babysitter are frivolous luxuries. To moms in the trenches, they are little lifelines.
However, cutting back does not necessarily mean you have to give up on you! Maybe you can't recuperate at the spa, but you can (sort of) recreate the experience if you send dad and the kids to the park, movies, or grandma's house and splurge on a few drug store spa finds. If you can't afford a sitter but desperately need some adult alone time with your spouse, find a budget conscious friend who's willing to swap nights with you. Miss that extra help with household chores? Enlist the kids! They may be more willing than you think to pitch in when you explain the financial situation. Even if you have to pay your twelve year old to clean out the hallway closet, it's probably a lot cheaper than hiring help.
A return to resourcefulness is one of the unintended upsides of this down economy. As you scale back, don't budget yourself off of your priority list. Instead, find clever ways to get that pampered feeling so that you don't wind up feeling like Cinderella -- before she slipped into the lost glass slipper!
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
ericw_angies 2-10-2009 @ 4:56PM
ummm... or demand more equitable division of labor. My husband cooks, cleans, does laundry, and child care. We both work. We both stay home with the kids one day a week. We both pick up the slack in hard times. Who are you married to?
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CLM 2-10-2009 @ 4:22PM
Thank you! That was my first thought too.
Cassandra 2-10-2009 @ 5:23PM
Some of your suggestions are indeed smart and resourceful, but why should they just be directed toward women? I think it's true that the poor economy will likely stress moms more, but in that case, shouldn't the conversation be focused on how this trend can be changed, instead of how mothers can better shoulder an inequitable division of labor? It's not just women's work anymore.
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colamum 2-10-2009 @ 6:43PM
Last i checked Rachel was a mom of 5, who stayed at home to raise them, and thus her husband a district attorney, was the main supporter of the family...something that is quite common.
Get off your high horses and see the post for what it is, an attempt to help moms in this or similar situations make the best of things even when their situation doesn't seem to be what they hoped or planned for it to be.
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Pavlina 2-10-2009 @ 8:33PM
Hmmm, seems to me that if a household choose to budget their money when times were good, then when times get lean they won't have to "cut back" so much. I've been cleaning my own house, cooking my own meals, and doing my own laundry all along. Now I still get the occasional rare treat for myself, even though "times are tough". It's all a matter of priorities.
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ame s 2-10-2009 @ 11:36PM
Exactly!
I'm not as nervous about the economy as several of my friends. My car isn't as new as theirs, I haven't replaced a piece of my wardrobe in 2 years, I don't go to the gym or a spa. It is hard for me to feel badly for some of them for the supposed cut-backs they are making now (bye, weekly cleaning lady, see you later, weekly manicure & pedicure) because they didn't need those extras in the first place.
They roll their eyes at me because I clip coupons and read the sales ads from all local grocery/discount stores every week, but shopping on double-coupon day & stocking up on staples when given a large discount adds up in the long run.
Some of the same eye-rollers will still take off on a trip during Spring Break and over Summer vacation, though.
ame s 2-10-2009 @ 11:43PM
Regarding the division of household chores: I work part-time some weekdays while my kids are in school. My husband works full time and drives 90 miles each way to work, so I don't ask or expect him to do any household tasks except for things I don't know how to (replacing toilet parts) and "heavy lifting" tasks.
If I worked full-time, I would expect him to do equal work at home.
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Chere 2-11-2009 @ 8:50AM
All I have to say is thank you colamum. Great post Rachel.
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for real 2-11-2009 @ 10:28AM
Ridiculous - most moms I know work full time and couldn't afford weekly mani/pedi/take-out BEFORE the recession. Obviously if she can afford to stay home in the first place money isn't a huge worry for her. If she considers giving up her house cleaner and weekly spa visit (which once again most working moms can't afford) "roughing it" in lean times she still doesn't have real money concerns.
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EK 2-11-2009 @ 11:07AM
I'd love to see a blog and subsequent comments about how to talk with children about the economic worries we're all facing. Rich or poor, this is a worrisome time and I'm interested in what people are saying to calm any of their children's concerns.
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coleman.christina 2-11-2009 @ 4:17PM
It's so bothersome to read so many negative reactions to Rachel's posts. You have no right to judge her.
Whether we give up a little or a lot, this economy has everyone taking a look at their budgets. It doesn't matter who you are.
How dare some of you judge her for offering advice when she uses her own reality as an example. No, not every mother has time for the spa or whatnot, but there are still plenty of mothers who do.
Many of you get so uppity that you miss the positive points Rachel was trying to make in the first place.
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Echo 2-12-2009 @ 7:27PM
For real wrote: "Obviously if she can afford to stay home in the first place money isn't a huge worry for her"
That kind of assumption right there drives me crazy! I stay home with my 4 kids (and have for years and years) while my husband works at a blue collar job to support us financially. Money is a constant worry for us! We juggle, we budget, we cut back and do without to keep me at home with our children.
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Amanda 2-13-2009 @ 8:01PM
I agree with ame s, because I'm living that frugal lifestyle too, and have been even before the economy tanked! The number of times per year I wear makeup you can count on one hand and have fingers left over. Manicures? DIY, and that's even less often than makeup (not to mention with housework, yard work, and firefighting, nail polish on my nails doesn't even last 24 hours anyway). The last new piece of clothing I bought for myself was a casual shirt for family get-togethers, and that only cost me a buck (yard sale find). I've got two fancy outfits in my closet, and those have lasted for years simply because the only time I wear them is at the firehouse banquets. Coupon clipping? A weekly routine. Seeking stock-up bargains at the grocery store? Ditto. Veggies are grown in our backyard (except for low-cost items like salad makings and spuds), and a major shopping expedition to the county seat only happens once a month (we live in a small rural town). Buying fancy electronics like iPods and flat-screen TVs? Hah. We're still stuck in the Discman and DVD/VCR era. Heck, scoring an 80's or classic rock record at a yard sale makes our day!
Back around Thanksgiving, when my hair had finally grown long enough in the back to donate to Locks of Love, my mom insisted I treat myself to a professional cut for the rest of it at the same time instead of cutting it myself, like I'd been doing for the past nine years (I cut my family's hair to help stretch the budget, including my own). I agreed to have that done, but I must confess that when I found out how much the haircut had cost, the first thought that went through my mind was, "Mother Goddess, I could've paid most of the cable bill with that!"
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Natasha 2-15-2009 @ 8:26AM
Thank you Rachel what a wonderful post.
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Shelby 2-15-2009 @ 6:34PM
Since we have always budgeted on one salary I don't have to give up thing nor does my family. Our only debt is our home. We have 3 kids who each do an activity. I still get me time and my nails and toes done.
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Ellen Hart 2-17-2009 @ 12:09PM
Thanks for the post. It's a good reminder, especially the part about being resourceful. I think stay at home mom's can really shine now, even though the pressure is on with finances.
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