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Alex McCord - 8 Questions for a Real Housewife of New York
Filed under: Celeb Parents
"Real Housewives of New York" star Alex McCord and hubby Simon van Kempen are penning a new parenting book, "The Urban Parent: Tales From a Real House in New York City," expected to hit the shelves by the end of 2009. Despite those that say the aspiring Brooklyn socialite, mother of two and racy Internet phenom has no business preaching parenting skills, McCord defends herself to ParentDish: "If it were a requirement to be a perfect parent in order to write a parenting book, there would be no books on the subject."
Finish this sentence: A good parent is ... A present parent. You can't be with your kids all the time and you can't catch everything. But you can be present in the moment.
Are you happy with the way your family life is portrayed on camera? It's been a real learning curve. Working with young children on camera is not easy, and we definitely walked into a few traps. The truth is, we were fairly naïve. We had never watched reality TV before! In the new season you'll see a more accurate representation of us. It may not be any more flattering, but it will be more real.
Your sons threw a temper tantrum at a dinner party at the end of the first season. Some say you need to spend more time teaching your children manners and less time out on the town. Our family and friends know that we have a rule about never going out more than two nights per week and not on consecutive nights. The viewers only saw the most entertaining footage -- they didn't see me dragging the kids [François, 4, and Johan, 2] out of the room. Also, Simon learned that sarcasm doesn't translate well on camera. One time he jokingly said, "Sure, we let our children play with food" and it didn't go over too well.
What makes your parenting book different than the thousands already published? Our book deals specifically with raising children in an urban environment, and it's more of a collection of our personal experiences with our two boys. When I was pregnant and a new mom, the books that resonated with me the most were stories from the trenches of parenthood as opposed to prescriptive how-to books.
How do you feel about your parenting book coming out on the heels of those nude photos? One really has nothing to do with the other. There are millions of people who have such photos, and many of them are also fantastic parents. I've gotten so much support from our community.
Do you prioritize your children before your marriage, or vice versa? Marriage is a work in progress, which brings me to this: Don't ever assume you've figured out marriage or child-rearing. If you don't constantly evolve, you stagnate.
What do you think of the Octuplets mom? If Nadya is able to care for them without significant burden placed on the government or charitable services, she's allowed to have as many children as she wants. However, I'm not sure that's the case in this situation.
Top three parenting tips?
•Parent your children -- don't patronize them. You can keep law and order in the house while still respecting their evolving intelligence.
•If you wouldn't eat it yourself, don't feed it to your children.
•Remember that kids are learning every waking second of the day. Enjoy that because it's magical, and be aware of the tremendous opportunity to teach them.
Reality TV Moms
Alex McCord
"Ultimately there's not a lot of difference between me and most other moms. We all want the best for our children, to love them, educate them and provide them with the tools needed to launch themselves successfully into the world." -- Alex McCord, The Real Housewives of New York City
Getty Images
Michelle Duggar
"I'll put it the way my daughter, Jill, said it: 'Mama, they just don't understand or know what it's like to be in our large family and how much fun we have and how sweet is it to have these little ones that look up to us and want to be like us. -- Michelle Duggar of "17 Kids & Counting"
Beth Hall, AP
Amy Roloff
"Those moments [on the show] don't represent the last or the next 20 years of our lives, whether we are going through the best times or the most horrible times. You almost want to say, "Can I put a mirror in your face?" -- Amy Roloff, "Little People, Big World"
Thos Robinson, Getty Images
Kate Gosselin
Kate Gosselin didn't set out to create a family of eight, but her genes had other plans. Managing her set of twins and sextuplets with ease, this model mother makes having eight children look manageable, and maybe even a little bit fun.
Amy Sussman, Getty Images
Amy Wolff
"I know I will get bigger, and I know I will have a lot of baby weight. But I alsoI know it won't be this huge, insurmountable thing. If I had gotten pregnant six months after the show, I would have been in the head space of worrying about my weight, and being really focused on that." -- Amy Wolff, "Biggest Loser"
Trae Patton, NBC
Denise Richards
We've been hearing about Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen drama in the tabloids for years, but when Richards decided to get her own reality TV show, "Denise Richards: It's Complicated," we learned she wasn't kidding. Between her messy, public divorce, raising her children and maintaining her status as a sex symbol, Richards' life is certainly more dramatic than the average mom.
Jason LaVeris, FilmMagic
NeNe Leakes
Arguably the most popular of the "The Real Housewives of Atlanta," it's not surprising that NeNe Leakes upstages her two sons with social drama and her outspoken personality. Despite the controversy, Leakes says she still makes time to help others through her organization, "The Twisted Hearts Foundation," which promotes knowledge about domestic violence in the community.
Bravo
Tori Spelling
Although she was often upstaged by her late pug Mimi La Rue in the past, Spelling is a force to reckon with as she pursued entrepreneurship and stayed in the spotlight all while eight months pregnant with her second child, Stella. Now, as a mother of two back in L.A., Spelling continues to take on Hollywood at full steam with her role on the newly renewed 90210 series.
Chris Polk, FilmMagic
Mommy Meerkat
These moms are wilder than most of the other matriarchs on reality TV, but they manage their families with the same loving care. Dominant female Flower rose to power and led her pack, the Whiskers, for more than five years. These tough mommas are experts at multi-tasking, as they are filmed foraging, caring for their young and fiercely battling enemies to protect the pack.
Animal Planet
Renee Wilson
Appeared on "The Biggest Loser" with daughter Michelle Aguilar. Renee, 47, lost 45 pounds in seven weeks. "She was the quintessential yo-yo dieter," Michelle, 27, told "Prevention." Luckily the mother-daughter team was able to use familial motivation to break their old habits and start living a healthier lifestyle.
Trae Patton, NBC Photo
Finish this sentence: A good parent is ... A present parent. You can't be with your kids all the time and you can't catch everything. But you can be present in the moment.
Are you happy with the way your family life is portrayed on camera? It's been a real learning curve. Working with young children on camera is not easy, and we definitely walked into a few traps. The truth is, we were fairly naïve. We had never watched reality TV before! In the new season you'll see a more accurate representation of us. It may not be any more flattering, but it will be more real.
Your sons threw a temper tantrum at a dinner party at the end of the first season. Some say you need to spend more time teaching your children manners and less time out on the town. Our family and friends know that we have a rule about never going out more than two nights per week and not on consecutive nights. The viewers only saw the most entertaining footage -- they didn't see me dragging the kids [François, 4, and Johan, 2] out of the room. Also, Simon learned that sarcasm doesn't translate well on camera. One time he jokingly said, "Sure, we let our children play with food" and it didn't go over too well.
What makes your parenting book different than the thousands already published? Our book deals specifically with raising children in an urban environment, and it's more of a collection of our personal experiences with our two boys. When I was pregnant and a new mom, the books that resonated with me the most were stories from the trenches of parenthood as opposed to prescriptive how-to books.
How do you feel about your parenting book coming out on the heels of those nude photos? One really has nothing to do with the other. There are millions of people who have such photos, and many of them are also fantastic parents. I've gotten so much support from our community.
Do you prioritize your children before your marriage, or vice versa? Marriage is a work in progress, which brings me to this: Don't ever assume you've figured out marriage or child-rearing. If you don't constantly evolve, you stagnate.
What do you think of the Octuplets mom? If Nadya is able to care for them without significant burden placed on the government or charitable services, she's allowed to have as many children as she wants. However, I'm not sure that's the case in this situation.
Top three parenting tips?
•Parent your children -- don't patronize them. You can keep law and order in the house while still respecting their evolving intelligence.
•If you wouldn't eat it yourself, don't feed it to your children.
•Remember that kids are learning every waking second of the day. Enjoy that because it's magical, and be aware of the tremendous opportunity to teach them.
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
2-23-2009 @ 10:13PM
Teresa Lee said...I think she's a better mother and person than I orignally thought. I'm not an expert but who is here? All I see is a bunch of rude comments by some little spoiled brats! I haven't had the "pleasure?" of seeing any nude photos of her and I am not in any way Interested in them at all! If I had kid's alot younger, mine are 32, 30, 29! I would probably buy the book? I never use to take advice from just anyone writing a book but, you never know? Sometimes you can learn a lot of "stuff" from parents like her?!
I watch the reality show that she's on and I enjoy it! They show us what all those Manhatten socialites are really doing with thier own lives instead of alway's intruding in everybody elses! The one I think needs ALOT of help with Parenting is that Blonde that's alway's bitching at Simon and thier close relationship with each other! WHO the hell is she anyway's? Did you see the way she was "trying" to dance in last year's next to last episode?? Talk about nudity in a VERY unclassy way!! SHE is the one with the problems! What a WACKO! lol
Reply
2-23-2009 @ 10:25PM
Deborah said...I CAN'T BELEIVE THAT ANYONE WOULD BUY A BOOK WRITTEN BY THIS WOMAN ! ! HAVE YOU SEEN THE REALITY SHOW SHE'S ON ?? I WOULD TAKE ADVICE FROM MY DOG ON PARENTING BEFORE I WOULD LISTEN TO ANYTHING SHE WOULD HAVE TO SAY ABOUT IT. I HAVE WATCHED " THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF N.Y.C." AND OF ALL THE WOMAN ON IT ALEX WOULD BE THE LAST ONE I WOULD TAKE ANY ADVICE FROM. SHE DOESN'T SEEM TO BE DOING A VERY GOOD JOB AT RAISING HER OWN TWO BOY'S. THEY ARE TWO LITTLE BOY'S WHO DON'T APPEAR TO HAVE ANY MANNER'S, DISCIPLINE, OR FUTURE IN THE REAL WORLD, WHERE PEOPLE DON'T ACT THE WAY THESE TWO "PARENTS" DO ..... MAYBE THEY EDIT THIS PROGRAM SO YOU ONLY SEE THE BAD CUT OF THE SHOW , BUT SO FAR WHAT I'VE SEEN ONLY MAKES ME FEEL PITY FOR THEIR TWO SON'S, GROWING UP IN THAT HOME. AND AS FAR AS THAT GOES .... AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO NOTICED THAT THEIR HOUSE IN BROOKLYN IS IN SHAMBLES ! ! ALEX WAS TALKING ABOUT HOW THEY WERE REMODELING THE BROWNSTONE ! YEA, WELL, THEY SHOULD START MAKING THAT PLACE INTO SOMETHING LIVABLE. BEFORE SHE MEET'S WITH A PUBLISHER HOW ABOUT MEETING WITH A CONSTRUCTION CONTRACTOR SO THOSE CHILDREN CAN LIVE IN A SAFE ENVIROMENT.. MAYBE ALEX AND SIMON ARE TOO BUSY TRYING TO BE HIGH SOCIETY SOCIALITES ! ! ALEX TRY FIXING YOUR OWN LIFE BEFORE YOU "TRY" TO GIVE ANYBODY ELSE YOUR ... "WORD'S OF WISDUM" LOL
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2-23-2009 @ 10:42PM
Teresa Lee said...Hey Deborah, I would've agreed with you about the children being little monsters right before I read her article, But, She explained all of that! I also saw that episode when Alex and her friend ummm forgot her name! The chef (i love her!) went to thier home!! YIKES! You can eat off my floors and walls! Even when my kid's were babies you could! I'd clean while they slept! I've been to peoples homes that are dirty before. they said "It's not dirty, It's clutter!" Hmmmm! They all say that housework is not as important as taking care of your family! Another Hmmmm! I thought that it was one in the same?? I also watch that realtiy show on TLC, Little people. Her home is also a MESS!! She also said the same thing others with messy homes have said to me! I still think it's pure LAZINESS! Plain and simple! The kid's go to bed and you clean up after them! nap time and bedtime! You are not supposed to have so much Mommy time! It's part of being a great parent! Ask all of my kid's! Thier now 32, 30, and 29. Have excellent jobs and all have CLEAN homes of thier own! The never told me they would rather I played a game with them than clean a floor! They were SO happy that our home was clean! Especially when the got old enough to have friend's come over. I would hear some of thier friend's complaining loudly at how messy and lazy thier own mom's were, all of the time! It's embarrassing as all hell to them! Thanks for listening! Teresa
Reply
3-04-2009 @ 3:23PM
Deborah said...HEY TERESA, YOU ARE SO RIGHT ABOUT HOW MESSY / DIRTY THESE PEOPLE KEEP THEIR HOMES. DON'T THEY REALISE THAT THEY ARE ON T.V. HOW CAN THEY LOOK AT THEIR HOMES AND NOT FEEL SOME KIND OF SHAME ! ! .... "A PLACE FOR EVERTHING, AND EVERYTHING IN IT'S PLACE" .....
2-26-2009 @ 12:02AM
clara said...Hey guess what I married someone who was by a mother who thought it was more important to clean her house then spend time with her kids, or do for herself. He is constantly amazed at the joy in our child eyes when we are silly together and let me also tell you me and my siblings are closer and have more respect for my mom then he does for his. My house isn't perfect but hey guess what it's not laziness it is just having my priorities in the right place.
2-27-2009 @ 11:28PM
Teresa Lee said...Hey Debra, I think clara's trynig to say our kid's weren't happy and our homes' were perfect?? PLEASE! My kid's turned out INCREDIBLE! We are extremly close and very, very happy. I use to clean my house when my kid's were in bed! That's not taking ONE monent away from them beleive me! They were THRILLED our home was clean. They were NEVER embarrassed by clutter and dirty dishes and floors! We use to also have all the neighborhood kid's at our house too! I worked full time during the day, when they were out of elementry school though. Part time before that. I was a letter carrier for 16 year's. I also started and coached girls cheerleading so I could be at every one of my 2 boy's games at the same time with my daughter as well! When that was over with the youth programs, I started a girls softball league to! The boys played baseball while thier sister could then play softball! I was a hands on mother always' with them. thier all grown now 32, 30, & 29! with thier own clean homes that they own close by our home town here in Massachusette's. They all have great paying jobs and 2 are very happily married with my second grandson on the way. My husband just passed away last month so we're all having a pretty sad time in our lives after 34 year's of marriage. Never ever did my kid's say I put them aside for the house to be clean either! If you do it from the time they are babies It's just part of every day life for all! It never seems like a chore to them then! Ever they told me then!! Enjoy your families to the HILT! It doens't mean you have to be a SLOB!!
2-23-2009 @ 11:45PM
Rebecca said...You gotta be kidding me. I wouldn't buy this book if it were the last piece of reading material. Ms. I want to be a big Socialite and that other chick. Ms. Countess. I had to stop watching the show because I couldn't stand the sight of them.
Reply
2-24-2009 @ 12:07AM
Annee said...There are "imperfect" parents and then there are those who shouldn't have been allowed to reproduce. I rest my case.
Reply
2-24-2009 @ 2:30AM
DONNA DILLON said...Are You Kidding Me !!! You CAN-NOT Write About Something you Have NO Idea How To Do Yourself ! Alex Or Simon Are NOT Hands On Parents ,You NEVER see Their Kids With Them On The Show ! The Only Thing I See EITHER ONE Of Them Worried About Is , What Function They Can Go To Next ! I Mean Come-On Alex And Simon You Have to , At Least ..LOOK.. The Part Of High Society , And TRUST Me There Is NO-WAY EITHER ONE Of You Could Ever FIT IN With Those Type Of People ! For Gods Sake You Two ! LOOK IN THE MIRROR !!!
Reply
2-24-2009 @ 3:02AM
JAKE CANNON said...HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED THAT NOT ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE ON THE SHOW.....NEVER GOES WITH OUT A DRINK IN THEIR HANDS. AND THEY EVEN TRY TO GET THE OTHER LADIES DRUNK AND THEN LAUGH AT THEM.
Reply
2-24-2009 @ 3:38AM
RonPaulForPrez said...Francois and Johan? Man, that's child abuse!
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2-24-2009 @ 5:50AM
VINCE said...I'm sorry but I'm glad I missed the nude photos.
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2-25-2009 @ 5:53PM
shawnee said...lmao!!!
Reply
2-26-2009 @ 2:07AM
walkeral said...Housewives of NY are boring. Love the OC, but please.....BRING BACK ATLANTA housewives!
Reply
2-26-2009 @ 5:19AM
Judith said...I hate those New Yawk accents. Even though I don't like the "REal Housewives of Orange County", at least I like hearing their voices. Of course, I, also live in Orange County, CA.. Yea, California... Boo, New York!!
Reply
3-01-2009 @ 8:46PM
lisa said...I just want to know who lets their child mutilate someones dinner and not do a damn thing about it???????????? My children are grown , but I can't imagine my two boys ever acting in such a violent way and then having absolutely no parental intervention. Let alone some psychiatric intervention. These people need to come back to planet earth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BE THEIR MOTHER FOR GODS SAKE!!!
Reply
3-07-2009 @ 1:56PM
JL said...You have got to be kidding!!! This woman is writing a parenting book!
I don't believe I have ever seen a more obnoxious kid than Francois. Who sits and watches their child stabbing the food of another guest at a dinner party? Who sits there at a dinner party and listens to a child squealing as loud as he can. Who lets their son wear long blond curls when the kid already has an identity problem.
On another note: Why not use that credit card and get a contractor into that dump and make it livable?
This couple is absolutely pitable and so are their sons.
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3-24-2009 @ 11:21AM
Painthorse said...I wish they had called it something else........I don't think it's really a 'parenting' book......it's a family saga...........even they realize they aren't qualified to tell ANYONE how to parent!
Reply