Should Brother and Sister Share a Bedroom?

that is soo harsh. its not her fault.
dont listen to her. you are doing what you need to do and your children wil never suffer for it. as long as you love them they will be fine....

Hey Karen why don' t you join the rest of us in the real world. You can plan all you want however there will always be situations which may arise that you were not expecting. If we knew every bad thing that was ever going to happen to us we would not be called humans we would be called God. I think that it is responisble to plan as much as you can although it does not make you a bad person or parent if you do not have 6 months of pay saved for an emergency that may or may not happen. Also I do not see where placing children of the opposite sex in the same room encourages sexual anything if you raise your children with morals then they will know that it is wrong. People do not need more planning they need more Jesus.

Why isn't it her fault? And my comments to her were sympathetic without removing her from her responsibility.

It IS her fault. She was living above her means. She didn't have adequate savings for those things in life you don't expect to happen.

That doesn't necessarily make her a bad person, but it is her fault. As an adult, she should be able to live on her own even when bad things happen.

I also didn't say it would hurt her kids, but you aren't doing her any favors by being "nice" and taking away her responsibility for the choices she made.

We all have to live so that we can handle injury, unemployment etc.

I would say those of us who do plan ARE living in the real world and those of you who don't plan for the UNEXPECTED are the ones that are not living in the real world. You are living in a fantasy you cannot maintain.

Some times people find themselves in trouble through no fault of their own, but if did prepare for those situations you do bear some responsibility.

HOPEFULLY people going through these tough times will LEARN this lesson instead of playing the victim and pretending that that they couldn't do anything about a recession, an injury, unemployement, a crappy housing market. You aren't victims. You reap what you sow and in some cases if you didn't store enough food for winter, you may go hungry.

You make me laugh. Living above my means. I was living AT my means. We earned enough to pay our bills and put money into savings.

Not that it is any of your business but my husband & I spent over $40,000.00 of our savings to pay bills over the last year. We cashed out over 90% of our retirement savings, wow, not even 30 and we were being responsible about our future. So, yes, we had adequate savings to live for 6 months. What ultimately did us in was the medical bills that piled up while they couldn't figure out why my husband was in such great pain (and, YES, he had health insurance, lot of good that did and, YES, he continued to work full-time, even though he had to come home and spend the rest of the night lying down so he wouldn't pass out.) Pick a test, he had them all, it was his chiropractor client who finally asked if they had ever bothered to x-ray his back.

As for the recession. He went from earning $150,000.00+ to earning $50,000.00 in the span of 1 year. Come visit my house. I can guarantee that we spend less on groceries than anyone in my neighborhood. Our bills overall are minimal. Not being able to sell our house (which for the record we bought under market, got a fixed rate loan on & paid principal on) cost us BIG TIME.

Life's a b!tch. I get that. Will my daughter suffer because she we be living in a house with her Nonna, PopPop, Aunt Lisa, and her best friend cousin Lissy as well as her Mommy & Daddy? HELL NO! Will she benefit? HELL YES!

Are we asking for public aid? Going on food stamps? No. We still pay our bills and work our butts off to provide our daughter with everything she needs. Just because she is going to share a room with her cousin DOES NOT make us bad parents.

Maybe you should ask about the WHOLE story before you make snap judgements. Also, would you mind sharing that crystal ball you have cause I need to know if my husband is ever going to be able to carry his daughter around for more than 10 minutes at a time.

Jen, we obviously have different views on self sufficiency and define living above your means differently.

But you put your story out here, you complained about your husband's job slowing, you complained about his medical bills, you complained about losing your equity. So, when you post things like that, you open yourself up to comments about it.

Nothing you have posted since changed my mind about your situation. You clearly were not prepared for the difficulties in your life. I do not agree that you were living AT your means. I think what you - and people like you - DO is SAY you are living AT your means, but then when something bad (or several bad things happen) you cannot weather the storm. That is personal responsibility.

Things happen. I get that. And nobody can plan for everything, but I still believe people are responsible for their own choices.

However, if you read what I said, I expressed EMPATHY for your situation and never did I say that having your daughter share a room was a problem.

You just got defensive at being held accountable and overlooked that part.

When my husband was making $150,000 a year we managed to put $30,000+ into savings and put 10% down (above that) on our house. That would be almost half of his income. We don't use credit cards (though we due have minimal debt due to a previous divorce.) Tell me, were you able to put half of your income into savings (we bought our house in Nov. so the year was almost over) and still live ABOVE your means? If so, can you tell me how.

OK Jen...you situation is fluke. You are truly a victim of circumstance and hold no responsibility for your choices.

Like I said, things happen.

I wish you better luck in the future.

I agree. This whole thing is really bazaar to me. I am 22 years old and my sister and I shared a room the whole time i was growing up in my parents house.. and it seems RIDICULOUS to me that people would say that its so horrible for families to do that. Having a couple sisters share a room is not a big deal at all! My cousin (male) lived with us in the summer also, and he was our age, he also shared the room with us.. he was like a brother and never did we think anything of it. Unsafe.. this is all crazy!?!?! Ya, if someone was changing the others arent gonna be chililn in the room, but duh.. thats common courtesy, male or female!!! I dont see what the big deal is in putting a couple people that are related in the same room. Who cares?!?! I think its actually a lil sick that people think of it as a big deal, really says where people's minds have gone and that trust and family have gone out the window!! I feel kinda bad for people that would go as far as to go in debt to make sure to buy this house that they cant afford, simply to make sure a brother and sister dont share a room... how ridiculous!! But that is what people have to do when people won't rent to them cuz of the way they plan to share the house.. so foolish.. clearly some people in this chat thing were just spoiled brats who didnt need to be close to their families.. and thats really sad

What is the big deal. My brother and I shared the only bedroom available in our house until we both left home for college. We missed on another terribly when we went away, but that is the only down side I can think of.
If "things" are going to happen it does not take sleeping in the same room to present the opportunity. In fact, because we knew and loved one another as we did...I think we had far less problems with all the raging hormones of youth. We understood one another.

i agree totally. me and my sister had our room and for years every christmas we'd push our beds together and my brother would come sleep with us while we waited for santa. also, for a while me and my sister shared a bed. it was a full or a queen. we were in the process of moving things and getting new beds or something but yep we shared and hey guess what nothing bad happened. people need to get their minds out the gutter...

Pamela the only pervert is the sibling who has reached puberty & cant keep his hand's off his much younger sister. The dirty thing's are poverty , & the lack of room for children to be safe in. Does it happen to everyone who share's a room, no thank Heaven's it dosnt. But I can assure you ,it happen's & once is to often. It destroy's the bond between sibling's forever & create's mistrust & shatter's your idea of childhood, you forever have issue's with the men in your life & you just cant seem to trust any one ,& finally you just try to forget that person who you once loved & called your brother.