Motherhood - Did It Change Your Drinking Habits?
Categories: Alcohol & Drugs
Last week, I had dinner with an old friend. We were laughing about her wedding nearly nine years ago, the last of a long string of weddings that summer and one of the best. Newlyweds ourselves, my husband and I made good use of the open bar, spent our night on the dance floor, then -- too far away from our own home to drive -- crashed nearby at his mom's house, sharing the single bed in his old room.Those were the days, you might say, were being the key word in that sentence. Case in point: At that dinner last week, I drank water while my friend had a Diet Coke, and we were both back in our own homes by 9 p.m. It's not that we don't drink anymore, but we definitely don't drink like that anymore.
Moderation is an inevitable part of motherhood, as Anna Fricke points out in a New York Times editorial. Pregnancy pretty much puts an end to any kind of liquid entertainment, and life with a baby...well...I'll let Ms. Fricke tell you:
Babies are magical and beautiful and amazing. They are also exhausting and frustrating and anxiety-inducing. In the beginning, my daughter nursed non-stop and I didn't even think of having a drink. Not only did I not want to risk alcohol being in my bloodstream when she nursed, I was also just too tired. Wine would only put me to sleep, and sleep was an impossibility. The first time my husband and I went out, I had a glass of wine and I felt like I was shooting up heroin in my parents' bedroom. It seemed so wrong. When I went home, I pumped my milk and immediately poured it down the sink, an act that seemed almost as wasteful as blithely burning hundred dollar bills.
During the pregnancy and breastfeeding years, drinking isn't safe for the baby. But once they become toddlers, it can also be risky for the parents, as anyone who's ever tried to manage a raging hangover and a toddler at the same time will quickly learn. Kids and the morning after just don't mix.
Michigan mom of three Amy Jacobs agrees. "Having kids is a trade off. Sure I don't enjoy the night life like I used to -- like 'Thirsty Thursday' happy hours, for example -- but I have found my inner child again and have enjoyed doing all of the 'kid stuff' with my children. The important part is finding balance and still enjoying time with my girlfriends. It is more than likely over coffee now and talking 'Mommy Issues' but it's still enjoying girl time."
But Francesca Taddei Clark, Vancouver mom of three, says that she thinks moms still tie one one pretty regularly, it's only the spontaneity that's been lost. "About once a month we get together and indulge," says Clark, "I think the biggest difference is that we are very calculated about it, considering what we have on schedule for the next day, and ALWAYS planning a way home. We can still go pretty hard, but it's never spontaneous. If I drink, I have to leave enough milk for my babe, and know that I can pump off, or not nurse for a while. Plan, plan, plan....that's what's changed."
What about you? Has parenthood changed your drinking habits?
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Melissa 3-10-2009 @ 2:38PM
I definitely drink less, and it shows lol....I went out to dinner with a friend, and we both had two glasses of wine....the difference was, he was totally fine and I was giggling non stop and had to hang out for awhile before I could drive home! And it is very planned....if I know I have to wake up early, I won't drink at all, but if I know I am going to be able to sleep in the next day, I will have a few drinks....but I definitely need to have a ride home lol!
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Mary Sullivan 3-10-2009 @ 2:58PM
The Anna Fricke quote seems a little extreme, although of course you don't want to expose a nursing baby to booze. Like Melissa said, if I need to wake up early the next morning (which with kids is most mornings, let's face it--even now that mine are older), it's not worth it to have more than *a* beer or a glass of wine. I don't think there's anything wrong with a glass of wine with dinner. Moderation is a good example for the kids. If I had a history of dependency or my spouse did, obviously that would be a whole different story. There probably are plenty of parents who abstain for religious or other reasons, too, or 'cause they just don't like alcohol.
Mary
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Michelle 3-10-2009 @ 3:28PM
I am SO tired of the myth that women can't drink any alcohol while breastfeeding! It is SIMPLY NOT TRUE and only serves to discourage breastfeeding. While no parent should get rip-roaring drunk if you are responsible for kids, even a few drinks isn't a problem while breastfeeding. You never need to "pump and dump" and it won't do anything to speed the alcohol out of your milk. The alcohol content in your milk is the same as in your bloodstream. For example, if you were legally drunk at .08%, your milk would contain .08% alcohol! That's it! As a lactation consultant I know said, "A woman would have to drink A LOT of alcohol for it to affect the baby in any way." Google Dr. Jack Newman, an internationally known breastfeeding expert, who also agrees with this.
As for answering the originally question, I stopped getting really drunk in college and didn't have my first child until 31, so that was more a function of just growing up. Now as a SAHM, I probably drink more than when I was working full time without kids. I still never get drunk, but I like my wine and I know that if I'm a bit tired the next day, I won't have to use my brain too much and might even get to sneak in a nap!
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cs 3-12-2009 @ 12:57PM
Based on the studies I read back when I was interested, what you've said above is even an exaggeration of the actuality.
What is in the breastmilk is a percentage of what is in your bloodstream, not even a straight 1-to-1 ratio. About 3% of your BAC makes it into your breastmilk.
So, if your BAC is 0.08%, your breastmilk contains 3% of 0.08%, or 0.0024%.
ame s 3-10-2009 @ 8:49PM
This will sound bad at first,but I drink more often now that I have kids, 9 & 11.
Before kids, I would have drinks with dinner perhaps one Saturday a month. My girls have spent almost every Saturday night with my parents since I weaned my 2nd. My husband and I usually go out to dinner on Saturdays, but when we stay home, I still have a couple of glasses of wine.
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anny 3-11-2009 @ 3:26AM
thanks for ur sharing have a nice day ,maybe it is !
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Amy 3-13-2009 @ 12:22PM
I totally agree with Michelle, you can drink responsibly and still breastfeed. Let's cut mommies a little slack, comparing alcohol to heroin just adds to the guilt-driven got-to-be-the-perfect-mommy complex. One glass of wine with dinner does not necessitate a pump and dump. Common sense would tell you that if you don't have a buzz neither will the baby.
And I think that drinking while breastfeeding is a lot different than drinking while pregnant, just ask your doctor.
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