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Would You Give Condoms to Your 14-Year-Old?
Filed under: Opinions
School isn't the only place where sex education is a dilemma. Most parents would like their children to remain abstinent throughout their teens, but worry that withholding information about birth control and sexually transmitted diseases will lead to disaster. If we tell them not to do it, but then give them information on how to do it safely, which message will they heed?While that is a difficult situation that every family has work out for themselves, resolving it doesn't necessarily mean you are home free. What happens when your fourteen-year-old comes to you and asks for condoms? You are right back where you started. If you provide them, are you condoning sex? If you deny them, are you risking pregnancy and/or disease? It's enough to make your head spin.
Cafe Mom readers are weighing in on the subject and the debate is enlightening and a little surprising. What I find most interesting is that the double standard of the past seems to be dead. While a post about a 14-year-old boy asking for condoms generated only about half as many responses as one about giving them to a 14-year-old girl, the responses themselves were fairly consistent regardless of the child's gender.
Based on those comments, many parents wouldn't hesitate to hand over condoms to a fourteen-year-old. Their logic is good: If the kid is asking for them, then there is probably already a need. On the other hand, there is a concern that a teen armed with condoms might make a different decision about whether or not to have sex than a teen without. In other words, having the condoms might push them to go ahead and go all the way.
While fourteen is clearly way too young to be having sex, I tend to side with those who feel it is better to be safe than sorry. As with so many parenting decisions, I base this on my own experience. But I appreciate that the argument against giving condoms to teens may have some validity.
In the end, we all must take a leap of faith and do what we think is best for our kids. What would you do if your fourteen-year-old asked for condoms? Does your answer depend on whether the teen in question is a boy or a girl?
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ReaderComments (Page 2 of 2)
6-18-2009 @ 3:52PM
Flower said...This is sooo true...I also have a 10 yr old boy and a single parent at that..Boys are rough but I choose to talk to my son about everything and anything he asks me...I rather him speak to me openly than hear from someone else...My son been threw alot already, we been threw alot already..I dont approve him having sex at that age but I surely will speak to him about it and tell him the consequences also...with pregancy,...diseases and take him to the clinci and show him graphic pics of those kind of dieases....so he can have a understanding of the whole responabletily of having sex. I would explain to him about how u know if ur the first boy...maybe that other person is already experienced..just maybe!! what other boys or girls they been with, that u dont know...there's LOTS of different dieases out there....Like i said I dont like the idea but I rather him be safe than sorry....And hopefully he would wait a little longer.. Call me what u want but I rather do this and not even it a second thought or ignore it because we cant control them as we would but we could guide them....
3-30-2009 @ 3:06PM
Pavlina said...YES
Reply
3-30-2009 @ 3:10PM
Pavlina said...What I meant was YES. give the kid a condom. No, the gender does not matter.
Reply