Heather Armstrong on Parenting, PPD, and Her Love for Brad Pitt
Categories: Life & Style

These days, Dooce.com is one of the web's most popular personal blogs, with an average of 5 million readers each month, and Armstrong, a former Mormon who lives in Salt Lake City, Utah, is one of the most recognizable faces in the blogosphere. She is also mom to a 5-year-old daughter, Leta, and is awaiting the birth of her second child, also a daughter, due in June. And she's written a New York Times bestseller, It Sucked and Then I Cried: How I Had a Baby, A Breakdown, and a Much Needed Margarita, which chronicles her struggle with post-partum depression.
Armstrong's book, which draws heavily on posts from her blog, was inspired by the response of readers who followed the story of her post-baby breakdown. "I got a lot of emails from women who said, 'Thanks for writing this, my sister doesn't really use the Internet, can I print out what you wrote and send it to her?'" Armstrong says. "I thought, there's probably an audience of women who need this story."
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Celebrity Parent Quotes
"The key to beauty is always to be looking at someone who loves you. Henry, who can't say all the words...sometimes he'll see me and go, "Ma-ma!" and throw himself on me. Or Finn says he likes my earrings. Or Hazel will say, "You look pretty, Mama," first thing in the morning...They're seeing the things that [my husband] does.
The coolest thing you can do for your children is to love each other in their presence." -
Julia Roberts
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"I'm like an alcoholic. It's like, I don't care if I cry, I don't care if I'm fat, I'm just gonna do it for one more week, one more month, and then, when I see how much good it is doing her, I can't stop. It's a very powerful thing you know."
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"My first job in all honesty is going to continue to be mom-in-chief," she said, "making sure that in this transition, which will be even more of a transition for the girls ... that they are settled and that they know they will continue to be the center of our universe."
Michelle Obama
"I think I'm a pretty cool dad."
Barack Obama
"There is no such thing as 'fun for the whole family.'"
Jerry Seinfeld
"Sometimes I end up having to wipe my son's nose on my shirt, so it can't be silk and cost $800."
Keri Russel
"Apparently, I get facials and manicures all the time. I read this and think, 'Oh, I wish I did that!' I don't think I've had a facial since I was 19. When I shave my legs, I use my child's shampoo and a razor -- if I can find one. If I did everything they said I did, I would never see [my daughter] Lily."
Kate Beckinsale
"I think our kids will look back on all that as being really funny when they get older, because they think of us as being really dorky -- in fact, the dorkiest people on the planet! We are very much just parents together, although we have moments of being sexy and fun, and I do find him very sexy, obviously. I believe we are together for all the other reasons."
Angelina Jolie, on being "sex symbol" parents
"Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head."
Carol Burnett
"We found a great rhythm. Contractions started kicking in. I sat there with her, right between her legs. We got tribal on it, we danced to it! I was DJ-ing this Brazilian music."
Matthew McConaughey, on the birth of his son Levi.
This time, though, Armstrong is confident that things will be different. "I feel so much more ready for it," Armstrong says of the post-baby anxiety. "I have put physical things in place in my offline life" to prevent the collapse that followed Leta's birth. The biggest change this time around is that Armstrong's husband, Jon, will be working from home rather than driving away to an office every day. "There's an actual physical person who will be in my house with me," Armstrong says. "I'm not scared at all."
Having her husband at home has been the biggest payoff of Armstrong's blogging success. In September of 2005, Jon Armstrong quit his job; since then, he has helped Heather manage the website. But Armstrong loves having her husband work at home for more personal reasons. "It's given my husband a chance to have a relationship with our daughter that he wouldn't have had," she says. Armstrong's success as a writer and blogger has given her family an opportunity that few have, to be together all the time, and has allowed her husband to be a full-time father to their daughter. For Armstrong, that matters more than anything.
What fascinates Dooce readers more than anything, though, is the financial success of Armstrong's blog. Last week, Oprah Winfrey announced that Armstrong earns $40,000 a month on the advertising at her web site. Armstrong calls this number "inaccurate" and "grossly inflated," and says that the talk of her earnings is her least favorite part of her work. "It's no one's business," Armstrong says, adding, "it's not polite to talk about money where I come from." But she understands the fascination with her earnings; blogging, she says, is a new medium, and "If that number is real, then holy shit!" What is the most remarkable, of course, is that Armstrong has made a career -- and a successful one -- out of writing about her family, telling the same stories that all mothers tell about their babies. Her success, both as a blogger and as an author, validates all those stories in ways that nothing else does.
For Armstrong, blogging isn't about being famous or making a living; it's about telling a story. "I come from a long line of Southern storytellers who like to sit around and make each other laugh. This was the perfect medium," she says. "I am so lucky to be able to do that for a living; it's one of the greatest joys in my life to be able to do that. I imagine sitting around with my family and trying to make my brother laugh, because he has this great laugh."
Leta's birth morphed Armstrong from cutting edge blogger to mom blogger overnight, much to the dismay of some Dooce readers, who vocally expressed their displeasure. These days, Armstrong says, her readers are primarily women; based on turnout during her recent book tour, lots of those women are pregnant. "I signed someone's belly in Seattle," she says with a laugh. But while Heather Armstrong may be the Internet's most famous mommy blogger, she's not handing out parenting advice. "I only give parenting advice when people ask me," she says, "because I wanted to punch people in the face when they gave me advice." What's the worst advice she ever got? "Oh all you need to do is sleep when they sleep! It does not happen that way. You get to a point where that kid doesn't take but a fifteen minute catnap," she says, slipping into her famous Southern drawl.
What about the best advice? Still laughing, Armstrong admits that her favorite piece of parenting advice came from Brad Pitt. "They had just brought Zahara home," she says, and she read an interview with Pitt, who said "Here's the thing with kids; you've got to give them warning." That little piece of wisdom was the key, Armstrong says. "I don't know why we hadn't though about that before," she says, "it changed our lives." They give Leta, now five, a heads up for everything, and life goes smoothly. "I have a huge place in my heart for Brad Pitt, and not just because he's so sexy," Armstrong confesses.
As she looks forward to the arrival of her new baby, Armstrong says that her biggest concern is "folding her into my work schedule." That, and naming the baby. "I would tell you what we're naming her, but Jon hasn't made up his mind. We're going to be that couple who leaves the hospital with an unnamed baby. I can't believe we're going to be that couple," Armstrong laughs.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 3)
John 4-13-2009 @ 2:32PM
What a very neat lady.
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shannon51778 4-13-2009 @ 3:38PM
I think it is great when a mom can be real about motherhood. Yes, everyone knows it's hard, but who is 100% honest about how hard it is? I think dooce is great!! www.grumpymoms.com
Joe 4-13-2009 @ 8:11PM
I think I’ve read comments befoer that went something like this... Is this news??? Wtf is going on with the media? This article blows massive a-holio's!!! Notice the misspelling of befoer? I meant to spell before. I think I’ll start a blog called befoer! Ha!
margie 4-13-2009 @ 5:39PM
It absolutely amazes me that someone is actually making a living, and apparently, a very good living, writing about something that women do everyday. I had 4 children in four years with no help from family or friends. My husband worked five days a week, and 2 saturdays a month and was gone 3 evenings a week. There were no double strollers let alone triple strollers. Believe me, you get creative when cooking meals when you are missing half the ingredients and you can't fit everyone in the car to go to the grocery store. I didn't have someone to clean the house or run my errands. You just handle things. Being organized is critical. There is a woman in my home city that has written books and been on the Oprah show giving advice about raising a large family. I'm not jealous or critical of her situation, but she has a housekeeper, a lawn man, babysitters and plenty of help and money. However the funniest part is that her children were always late for school, church, everything. So giving advice to someone else and not following it yourself is comical to me.
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dani 4-13-2009 @ 8:40PM
margie, I agree with you. That was my point when I had posted a comment.
steff hartman 4-15-2009 @ 10:26AM
Margie....I hear you! Yet I think it is great that she sought out help for her PPD. If that message reaches someone out there who is struggling with a young baby and the emotional roller coaster after having one, then it is worth printing. Unfortunately, today, people don't realize what real life is all about. I don't know if it's the media, the internet or what, but I think we older parents tended to make things too easy for our kids. Perhaps we got caught up in fantasy, too, as technology took off like gang-busters! Raising children is the most difficult job I have ever done, and it does not end when the kids are out of college. Once a parent, always a parent.... and we should all try to help one another and not be so critical. Also, those contemplating becoming parents should not think a child will be a toy they can put back on the shelf when they're tired playing with it! My heart goes out to parents everywhere, in all walks of life....
KEL 4-13-2009 @ 2:58PM
I agree with you. What is the fascination with "the difficulty of parenting"?? People have been parenting since the beginning of time! I have raised 3 kids with a husband who travels and no family to help me out. Yes, it has been hard and somewhat mind-blowing at times, but my faith in God and the belief I can get through anything He hands me has gotten me through it all. Why do people put their faith in blogs, self help books, and Oprah? I find our American society spoiled and self-centered, and this story epitomizes it!
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David 4-13-2009 @ 3:14PM
Jesus, who cares? Everybody had problems. Everybody has troubles. Everybody is stressed. Everybody has...blah blah blah. You'd think she invented the tribulations of motherhood. Shaddup!
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darlene 4-13-2009 @ 3:51PM
I know we all have our own opinions and its suspossed to be freedom of speech, but my goodness, whatever did this lady do to you to down what she writes about.
Just curious!
Mike 4-13-2009 @ 5:28PM
I agree. Although her situation is serious, it is not new, or unique. Yes, it's difficult to talk about, but so are a lot of things. Give it a break. $40K/month in advertising associated wtih her blog?And now she's happy that her husband is home helping her manage the website, and can have that relationship with their daughter that he wouldn't have had.....
Again, important, but definitely not creative or unique.
Brandi 4-13-2009 @ 4:52PM
Jealousy is a bitch huh???
Cognitogrrl 4-14-2009 @ 1:57AM
Mike and David, you have not ever been a stay at home mom who was bad off with postpartum depression. How do you think you are entitled to say anything? Sleep deprivation and exhaustion are known methods for making prisoners of war crack. If you start to feel that your care of your baby is all wrong, you're a terrible mom, and maybe your baby and the world would be better off without you, you might begin to consider suicide. I LOVE that Brooke Shields and Heather Armstrong have made it OK to come out and say, "I'm having a bad time and need help." ANYBODY who can bring the humor back to mothering is a hero in my book, because sometimes it really feels like an impossible, thankless task. I also believe that God puts people here to be His arms to hold you and shoulders to lean on, and just possibly Ms. Armstrong is one!
Carmen 4-13-2009 @ 3:24PM
The reason I read it is simple...She's hilarious! I don't even have kids and I think she is ridiculously funny!
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Danay 4-13-2009 @ 3:27PM
I would say i didnt know who she was or heard anything about her till now... its just another story about someone pirvate life and what she goes through... which i believe anyone does and has gotten some help with god or from a book... now about her making money who knows why or what were her resson for her to do what she did to get attention if thats what she wanted and of course anybody knows money flows like fast as water... I myself went through alot in my frist marriage and i have thought to kill myslef once and even today still have some anexnity in me ... I always look for all ways to get help and find answer to my problems ... but one thing to get attention or money would be last idea in my head..... good luck to her and no i would not read her book i rather go to a doctor or in a bible .... its all realy in you and believe in yourself and never give up.alwasy have and look for that peace in you to work things out and till your partner you need help dont just give in or close yourself out.... peace america!!!
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Alex 4-13-2009 @ 3:23PM
Heather Armstrong spoke about something that was painful, raw, and something that is isolating to MANY women. I understand that most women do not have crippling anxiety, or PPD, but for those that do....(have anxiety) it is a very difficult thing to talk about, even to your doctor.
She is a gifted writer, and, in my opinion, a brave woman, who told her story to reach out to other women who may suffer from the same things. To lampoon her, without reading a stitch of what she has written is like saying you hate cheesecake before you even taste it.
http://chiroalex33.wordpress.com/
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solomeeo 4-13-2009 @ 4:06PM
Never heard of her?
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amy 4-13-2009 @ 3:57PM
no sweetie, nobody thinks she's been wronged by a mormon. yes, people do have time on their hands and this is called LEISURE TIME, in which people do things they enjoy (watch tv, read something, surf the net, etc) and people enjoy reading her blog because she is entertaining/ inspiring/ who knows what else- in their opinion. im sure you have things that you are interested in that other people are not, so do get off your high horse.
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Grandma Erly 4-13-2009 @ 3:58PM
Heather, Don't worry about what youn ame you new (next) child, as long as you and your husband agree. Half the (blogging) world will love it, half will hate it, and ALL will have forgetten about it in a week!! LOL
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Flax Chick 4-13-2009 @ 4:30PM
I love her blog. Being a mom and trying to save your own idenity and feeling good about yourself is rough. I gained 90 pounds when pregnant with twins and suffered terrible depresson after. My ankles were bigger thana normal person's waist and I felt overwhelmed. I lost the weight and keep a blog about health and fitness. http://www.flaxchick.com One of my pet peeves are Hollywood stars and socialites that starve themselves thin and lie and say they eat whatever they want...yeah right!
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Law 4-13-2009 @ 4:32PM
It's a marketing technique. AOL got you curious enough with the title, which made you click on the link to see who Armstrong is.
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