Oprah Sexpert - Buy Your Teen Daughter Her First Vibrator

This just totaly blows me away! Personaly I have 2 daughters and never once did I ever consider buying them a vibrator. I believe this is just OVER THE TOP I dont agree with this at all.

as a teen if i went to my mom about this i would have loved her input. but i don't think teens what this info from mothers. its online and from friends. but i become a mom and my daughter asked me FIRST sure i would love to buy her first vib. if teens want a sex toy they will get it some how. and also if i bought it for my daughter i would also encourage regular cleanings of it. many girls just use it again and again with out cleaning. and also try to hide it from parents under their beds so it collects dust and other germs. then they put it in such a vulnerable spot.

is this how this website gets readers, by creating headlines and articles that are so outlandish and stupid that they have to be read to make sure it is a real article? this parentdish website is really stooping low to get readers by putting teen girls and the word vibrator in the same headline. the editors of this site are pathetic and disgusting.

I gave my daughter one, after watching this episode. I have her a corded Dr Scholls "back massager" and told her to use it on her legs or back if sports made her muscles sore. In a completely separate conversation about sex I told her that no woman ever needs a man for a happy ending and that there are things out there that can be used alone, without risk of disease or pregnancy or heartache. I also mentioned that some women use vibrating massagers. She's a bright girl; she can connect the dots.

I do agree that masturbation convo's with ones parent would be a little strange (even for myself as a very far left liberal)! Things like this are better left private and are unnecessary to bring up with your teen, as we all know masturbation is a private matter and isn't harmful or something a parent should even be worried about. However, I do think that it isn't such an outrageous idea to bring up the subject or a quick comment about to one's daughter because to me it could be an assuring way to validate that self stimulation shouldn't be a "sin" or something to be shunned. A comment regarding masturbation to your teen could very well just let her know that what she is feeling, as far as hormonally and sexually, is "normal". If she chooses to go that route or not, it certainly won't be a miraculous panacea replacement for experiences with boys. And as far as the previous commenter feels about teenagers and orgasm... well, as a healthy 27 yr. old now, I can tell you that at 16 sexual stimulation and yes, even ORGASM, were issues within my life, and in the life of most of my friends. Lets face it here, it's not the "Cleaver" household anymore. It's "normal" for teens to be experimenting with sex by 16.

I just wanted to clarify about by previous post--I'm not saying masturbation is wrong and teenage girls do not have a sex drive and don't want orgasms. I think having a talk with your teenage girls about masturbation and and sexual feelings is a good thing (although I would have been just a little bit embarrassed if my mom had talked to me about such things). I just think that most teenage girls already know about pleasuring themselves-mother nature usually takes care of that-and that Dr. Berman telling everyone that masturbation can take the place of sex with a male partner is naive and missing the point. If dating a guy was just about the sex act, relationships would be easy and we wouldn't use the terms "boyfriend" and "girlfriend". There are lots of emotional issues for girls that come with having sex with someone, and those are what we need to focus on. We need our girls to feel accepted and confident, even if a boy tries to make them feel inadequate about not giving into sex. WANTING to experiment with sex at age 16 is normal, but actually doing it (with someone other than yourself) at age 16 is NOT normal, unless you as a parent, make it as such. We are human beings and are given the gift of making conscious decisions, even when temptations and biological pulls come our way. In my opinion, this is what we need to teach our children. The best decisions in life (like waiting to have sex) are often the most difficult to make. But these decisions help to make us strong, successful, healthy people. If this is like living in the Cleaver household, then so be it. Maybe we need to take some lessons from Ward and June.

I absolutely agree with Michelle! The vast majority of teenage girls are craving a relationship more than an orgasm. What pushes girls into bed with a boyfriend is the emotional payoff, many actually feel guilty about the sex. Talking to girls and young women about developing and loving their own identity would be wiser because teen sex is often more about a lack of self esteem rather than simply an abundance of hormones. I also worry that we're sending a truly messed up message about the beauty of genuine sexual intimacy and pleasure between two loving, committed, mature adults to suggest that moms offer their daughters a lifeless, artificial substitute for what was once considered one of the most meaningful experiences two people can share. When her "sex expert" said that we need to teach our daughters that they don't ever need to depend on another human being to make them "feel that way", I felt ill. Really? Is this where we're headed as a culture? The "sex expert" went on to say that she believes teaching our children to masturbate could delay sexual activity. Is this woman serious? Is she actually a woman? I don't think our children need "sex experts" they need parents. Parents that demonstrate healthy, respectful, life giving relationships with each other and with their children. If we would quit substituting the media, money and materialism for genuine family relationships and parenting then we wouldn't be trading our children's self esteem and future relational success for instant self gratification and emotionless, artificial sex.

Heck yes!!! I agree with you.

10% of girls I think would want a vibrator in addition to having a boy or boys.

I know girls who have vibrators and have boyfriends too.

I understand that most girls do not have the sexual drive of the 10% of girls who do have sexual drives.

bravo to you as a teen! that's not being a "snot"--that's healthy self-esteem and self-reliance

Your comment was the whole point of the therapist's conversation. The fact that teenage girls today have no sexual identity beyond wanting to please boys. The result is that they don't get pleasure for themselves. It's all about this abstract emotional need that will never be fulfillled and certainly not by pleasuring a boy orally. He will just move on to the next girl because their are skintillions of girls with the same mindset.

As icky as this sounds, it's really about finding a way for women to control their own sexual identity. Having come from the generation when many boys behaved somewhat better when they really liked a girl, I can tell you, girls will have more sexually pleasing encounters. Of course, every generation of teens experiment. Heavy petting, anyone? And without going into to details, I find it more sad, than shocking that a generation of girls are giving oral sex favors and not getting gratified in return. That's just awful. And the end result is that women feel exploited, victimized, abused, but the truth is they did this to themselves. Yes, that's right. It's up to you not to be so needy that you don't look out for you.

Kudos to the woman above who dumped her boyfriend when he tried to blackmail her into putting out. One boyfriend tried that with me and when I refused he stayed put. But the end result was some very glorious non-intercourse sexual experimentation between the two of us. My body was more than paid attention to and when I was finally ready for full-fledged intimacy, much later as bonafide adult with a different partner, it was wonderful.

I wish there was an easy answer around how to introduce these subjects to your kids. It requires traversing a very fine line between education/information while respecting the boundaries between mother/daughter.

While I don't think that buying a clitoral vibrator and giving it to your daughter is the outright solution, you can and should provide a kind of map and let your daughter find the way herself while emphasizing that sex is not just about the boy's pleasure.

And for the record, when did we human beings lose our ability to follow our instincts? No one had to teach me about masturbation. I'm also not just talking about our sexual instincts, either. There's been a major loss in the area of parental instinct, the ability to know what's really right for your child.

We wallow too much in our own egocentricity and self-righteousness. And it's really killing our humanity.

There is nothing wrong with masturbation, in fact it is healthy. If you dissagree I am sorry. However, it is and should always be PRIVATE.
I'm 17 and if my parent bought me a vibrator I too would be horrified. In fact, my father offered me one once when I turned 16, and I said no thank you. Not because I have a problem with them, but jeeze, he's my DAD. Is nothing sacred??
Just invest in a really good book that includes the subject, and both parties should be perfectly happy. :)

You said it perfectly.. Just the dump the guy.
I don't see why it's so hard for girls to let go of a guy. You're a teenager. You your whole life to find love.
And if the guy is pressuring you to do stuff.Move on!?
I'd never stay with someone who made me do things I didn't want to do. That's considered abuse. Stand up for yourself and leave the twerp.

Sarah- You may not have thought about masterbation when you were a teen but I don't believe that is the norm. I started when I was 11 which maybe young but all my girlfriends started when they were teenagers.

Really? I don't know how old you are, but I was a teenager in the '70's, it was never discussed, ever, publically or privately back then. I admit I was sheltered, I didn't have any brothers and wasn't intimate with any boys in my teenage year, so I don't even think I knew about masturbation at all or that boys did it at all. I have 2 sons and have had to talk to them about it, and I have a teenage daughter, and I know she doesn't have those feelings, either. I am just saying that I think the feelings come to boys naturally, but a girl has to have some kind of outside stimulation (physical, visual, reading a graphic book) to evoke those feelings. I had no sexual stirrings until I was college-age because I wasn't exposed to anything that would have evoked them. But, back to whether to buy your daughter a vibrator? I vote "NO!"