Father Loses 2 Young Children In Tornado
Why It's Hard To Get Along With Your In-Laws
Oprah Sexpert - Buy Your Teen Daughter Her First Vibrator
Filed under: In The News
As a general rule, I think, many of today's moms are far more open about sex than our mothers and grandmothers were. Our kids know the actual names of their body parts (and aren't afraid to share them with the cashier at the grocery store). We don't dodge the questions about where babies come from or make up silly stories. Experts in general advise that sex ed happen over a series of conversations on the subject, rather than one uncomfortable "talk" somewhere during puberty.So, yeah, we're enlightened. We're empowered. We're dishing out accurate information on an age-appropriate basis. So the next logical step, says "Oprah" sexpert Dr. Laura Berman, is to buy our teenage girls their first vibrators.
Uh ... er ... ahem ... that is, I mean, what?
Awkward, yes, and also controversial. On "Oprah," Gayle King sat shaking her head. "Too much information," argues King, "....They know too much, they're doing too much, I'm just not in favor of giving them this much information." But Oprah disagrees. "They already have the information," she counters.
Dr. Berman agrees. She says putting information like this in the hands of teen girls gives them power over their own bodies, possibly even putting off that first sexual experience. "You're teaching them about their own body," says Dr. Berman, "....And taking the reigns of their own sexuality so they don't ever have to depend on any other teenage boy to do it for them."
The commenters over at Jezebel are typically in favor of anything that empowers young girls. But while many think open and honest conversations are a fabulous idea, they cringe at the idea of having that particular conversation with their own mothers. "My mother was open and honest about everything, including sex," says Jezebel commenter nakedscience, "And I still feel comfortable talking to her about stuff like that. But if she had ever bought me a vibrator, I would have been horrified."
Commenter grrl agrees. "I think I would have needed a lifetime of therapy, and heavy medication, if my mom had bought me a vibrator. There are just some areas of a girl's life that mom doesn't need to share in."
So which is it -- empowering? Or the ultimate example of helicopter parenting? I think that, as with most things in parenthood, it depends on the parent and the kid. What about you? What do you think about Dr. Berman's idea? Would you ever consider buying your teen daughter a vibrator? Or does the idea alone make you shudder?
Your<span>Voice</span>
Ask Us Anything About Parenting
Recently Asked
- HICKMAN, DERIAN DOUGLAS PLAINTIFF PRO SE & INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE Defendant Service: Summons Issued Method: Service Issued
- patent or not civil case the inventor will never lose because the people approved and he makes the rules. it did not exist
- . two ways to lose property's selling or debt ( debt property is sold to pay debt) the debt has to be proved) court managing property?
TheTalkies:RelatedVideos
-
Is Porn Teaching Your Kids About Sex?
Cris Clapp Logan, internet safety expert, talks about the importance of parents having ongoing discussions with their kids and teens about sex as opposed to a one-time "sex talk," or worse, allowing them to learn about sexuality through television and the internet.
-
%media:title.value% %media:description.value%
SitesWeLove
- Site Map
- |
- Staff
- |
- Terms of Service
- |
- Privacy Policy
- |
- Trademarks
- |
- Advertise With Us
- |
- About Our Ads
- |
- AOL Downloads
- |
- Contact Us
- |
© Copyright 2012 AOL Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Aol Family
ReaderComments (Page 5 of 5)
3-20-2011 @ 10:35AM
gg said...I think buying your kid a vibrator is crossing a line. It is an asinine idea and I am surprised at Oprah for putting this garbage on her show. I realize she is super-liberal, but......give me a break. Ratings must be falling off at the end of her reign.
I do not think the only reason for telling your children to abstain from sexual intercourse is because of the possibility of getting pregnant and having to make sacrifices in your life at such a young age. Maybe not getting the education you need or want to be a successful contributing adult, not having a partner who loves and supports you emotionally and financially, without depending on the state, or simply freedom to come and go without having to put your child's needs firs,t are not big enough issues for any 16 year old to wait to have sex. An even greater reason is that, teens are not emotionally mature enough to handle the stress and roller coaster of emotions that adult relationships entail. Let alone the many diseases a person is exposed to. Just because you have a conversation about these issues with teens, does NOT means they actually hear and process what you are telling them.
It takes continuous oversight by parents to help teens make good choices. Having them look toward the future and with plans and goals can help them make better choices now when the issue of sex presents itself.
Just telling them "DON'T" is not enough, because they ask "why not"? . If they have a plan for their future, when they ask why not, they will already know the answer
Reply
3-21-2011 @ 8:21AM
Klara said...I think it's unnatural. It is necessary to talk with daughter about some details related to sex, but buying a vibrator as a substitute for a boy is unnatural for me.
Reply
3-22-2011 @ 11:48AM
river said...a five setting shower head is more practical. you install it and the girl can of her own free will and point of maturity or immaturity decide privately how she feels like using it. simple solutions for simple minds.its a good thing.
Reply
3-22-2011 @ 9:05PM
Jenelle said...To me this seems to be somewhat of a generational issue. As a mother in my mid twenties, I can honestly say I am not sure how exactly I will approach the subject with my kids when they are teens, but I think to suggest that girls are less motivated by sexual urges than boys and more motivated by emotions is in many cases naive. As a teen I was more the initiator, as was the case with most of my female friends (I lost my virginity at 16 to my High School sweetheart, and only slept with him and my husband, who I began dating at 18.) These girls were not promiscuous, however, they were as hormonal as the boys. It is naive to expect that girls will not feel the need to be sexual as some have suggested, and ultimately each parent needs to decide how to approach it. I know I will emphasize the importance of the fact that sexuality and sexual acts are not mutually inclusive, and that sex is to be taken as a serious decision with potentially serious consequences at any age, and is for people old enough to live with those consequences.
Reply
3-24-2011 @ 9:28PM
Anon said...I think it's a good idea. I wasn't really interested in sex when I was a teen, so I never asked much. I regret it now as an ignorent college student. How am I supposed to know what to do? Look it up online? Ask my friends? Is that any weirded than asking my mom for a vibrator?
Reply
3-28-2011 @ 3:36AM
Lauren said...Wow, this grosses me out on so many levels...since when did girls need vibrators? I've never had one and I can't say that I felt left out. Giving one seems to imply that they need one, or even should use one. That's their own choice. Also I find it really sad that we can't expect teenagers to stay chaste. That its just some crazy hormonal desire that you can't control. That's just stupid and just selling them short. Do some teens have sex before marriage, yes, do they have to? NO!
Reply
3-28-2011 @ 10:57AM
danny said...Heck if your teenager is not gay we need to do all we can to make them that way because 6-8% of the population dictates what all of socisty should be like.
Reply
3-29-2011 @ 10:05AM
Ginnatay said...RANT: I want to say I'm speechless but then a bunch of things went running through my mind like, "WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?" Doesn't anyone have morals anymore? NO CLASS, JUST TRASH!
"LET'S TEACH OUR CHILDREN TO BE MORE SEXUAL!" (WTFrick)
Does anyone ever think of the future consequences. Nobody does, and look at the problems of the world today because of our past decisions. Haven't we learned anything?? For instance: ~Women going into the workforce, leaving others to raise their children. Losing valuable time with their families to make them stronger. ~Getting married and then deciding this isn't what I want and bringing innocent children into broken homes. Isn't Marriage, "Until death do us part?" ~Women who do have morals don't have a chance. Why be with Chasity Cassidy, when I can have Loosy Goosy? Our Men are confused of their expectations anymore, their Mothers are in control. Our Boys are growing up as confused Men with no Fatherly guidance, a vicious cycle! And People just go with the flow and never stand up for MORALS and are blind and careless of the long term social impact. UNFREAKINBELIEVABLE!!!!
Reply
4-03-2011 @ 3:14PM
WildMan said...As a parent you should know if the time is right. You should even know by the company they keep and activity they are involved in. Maturity level is what I am getting at. This is also a (time for that talk) with single parent dads, such as my self. The subject can be a lengthy talk and still be healthy or just an acknowledgement that the parent knows of the things going on in their heads. We were all young. My advice would be to never over do it and be pushy but acknowledge it as the parent and not as a peer would. Who knows, you might be helping others stay healthy by disseminating correct information. Most teens already know of these things but could use some guidance for the sake of cleanliness and guilt relieving. If either party is too uncomfortable, arrange for a friend to have the talk, in my case a trusted female one.
Reply
4-06-2011 @ 3:26PM
daycarechick said.......um, ew! morally, ethically, parentally, this is WRONG!! not to mention, ew! just another example of how our society has fallen into the gutter..... and why should anyone take parenting advice from oprah? yeah she's rich and famous, but has ZERO experience. and you really think she's gonna give all the girls in her private school one????
Reply
4-09-2011 @ 2:22PM
pmarlow said...This is borderline child sexual abuse. There's a reason it feels wrong. It is wrong. What's a child to think? "What other unexpected strange sexual thing is my own Mother going to come at me with next? Does this turn her on?" What a great way to make your daughter insecure and destroy your relationship with her.
Reply
4-18-2011 @ 1:13AM
Karen said...I have a 17 year old son.. I didn't offer to buy him a vibrator but I did offer to buy porn videos and/or magazine if he wanted. I'm a single mom and know he surfs a bit of porn on the computer, (we talked about it and he briefly showed me a couple of sites). He was annoyed I was kind of intrusive but all computer usage come back on e if anything remotely illegal is perceived. I feel I had the right to know roughly what he was up to. And let him know there are options.
Reply
4-21-2011 @ 10:51PM
lionruby said...I was a teenager in the 70's and my (older) mother's entire convo regarding sex to me was "It ain't what it's cracked up to be!"
Noting the creepy factor in having a parent get up in their kid's face about something this personal, I wouldn't take my girl to buy a vibrator - but I would definitely ask her younger, "hipper" aunt to take her. I agree that girls should be initiated into the mystery of their own bodies much earlier, and that the subject should be treated in a matter of fact manner. Let the girl have a vibrator, by all means. And a copy of "Our Bodies, Ourselves" - one of the best books out there for young women looking for information.
Reply
4-26-2011 @ 12:42AM
James said...Well, I'm a male just so everyone is clear of this.
I would have to agree on Oprahs idea.
Also, all parents should feel comfortable and have plenty of connection with their children to be comfortable enough to bring out the sex conversation or buying your daughter her first vibrator! If you can't talk to your children about any kind of sex related things without braking a sweat about/over it then your a poor parent(s) and I feel bad for you.
When I grew up with my older sister, we never had issues talking to either father or mother about sex related issues/things as our parents were very open, comfortable saying what ever to us but of course not saying sex related stuff in a weird or stupid way.
Like I said, if you can't have a smooth conversation about sex, even drugs or for that fact ANYTHING with your child or children then I feel bad for you AND your child or children.
Reply
4-28-2011 @ 10:58AM
Vicki said...I am wonderng if giving your daughter an item like that would eve be legal...? If it's about sexuality, wouldn;'t it be along the same lines as renting a porn movie for them to watch? Wouldn't it be perceived as unacceptable parrenting by child protective services? What do you all think?
Reply
9-02-2011 @ 12:41PM
jacob said...If my little girl was at that age (13 or older) and wanted one id say yes but id tell her that im only going to if she shows me she can take care of her self and that if she did want to have sex to be safe idc if shed like to have sex i just want her safe dont you all think youd just want your kid safe id talk to your kids about it and if thay want it help them out.:)
Reply