Oprah Sexpert - Buy Your Teen Daughter Her First Vibrator

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Oprah WinfreyAs a general rule, I think, many of today's moms are far more open about sex than our mothers and grandmothers were. Our kids know the actual names of their body parts (and aren't afraid to share them with the cashier at the grocery store). We don't dodge the questions about where babies come from or make up silly stories. Experts in general advise that sex ed happen over a series of conversations on the subject, rather than one uncomfortable "talk" somewhere during puberty.

So, yeah, we're enlightened. We're empowered. We're dishing out accurate information on an age-appropriate basis. So the next logical step, says "Oprah" sexpert Dr. Laura Berman, is to buy our teenage girls their first vibrators.

Uh ... er ... ahem ... that is, I mean, what?

Awkward, yes, and also controversial. On "Oprah," Gayle King sat shaking her head. "Too much information," argues King, "....They know too much, they're doing too much, I'm just not in favor of giving them this much information." But Oprah disagrees. "They already have the information," she counters.

Dr. Berman agrees. She says putting information like this in the hands of teen girls gives them power over their own bodies, possibly even putting off that first sexual experience. "You're teaching them about their own body," says Dr. Berman, "....And taking the reigns of their own sexuality so they don't ever have to depend on any other teenage boy to do it for them."

The commenters over at Jezebel are typically in favor of anything that empowers young girls. But while many think open and honest conversations are a fabulous idea, they cringe at the idea of having that particular conversation with their own mothers. "My mother was open and honest about everything, including sex," says Jezebel commenter nakedscience, "And I still feel comfortable talking to her about stuff like that. But if she had ever bought me a vibrator, I would have been horrified."

Commenter grrl agrees. "I think I would have needed a lifetime of therapy, and heavy medication, if my mom had bought me a vibrator. There are just some areas of a girl's life that mom doesn't need to share in."

So which is it -- empowering? Or the ultimate example of helicopter parenting? I think that, as with most things in parenthood, it depends on the parent and the kid. What about you? What do you think about Dr. Berman's idea? Would you ever consider buying your teen daughter a vibrator? Or does the idea alone make you shudder?

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AdviceMama Says:
Start by teaching him that it is safe to do so.