Make Time for Family - At the Dinner Table!

http://www.ehow.com/how_4891155_childrens-meals-nutritious.html

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Hi Rachel,
I totally agree with you that parents whose only time with their kids is watching TV together are missing out. You give some nice suggestions for enjoying a meal together. I am a speech language pathologist and give parents suggestions on how to engage their kids in many contexts on my website, http://www.playonwords.com. One suggestion I give for the dinner table that can be used with very young kids is to give each family member a turn to share something good and bad that happened to them that day. Children learn at a very young age how to communicate their feelings using words. I also have an article on "9 Tips to Get Your Child to Talk About Her School Day at http://playonwords.com/articles/2008/09/03/tips-to-get-your-child-to-talk-about-her-school-day/
Good luck and keep talking!
Sherry Artemenko

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Wonderful post, a very good reminder for all families - We get so busy with the insane number of activities but we should all try harder to be religious about the family dinner! The benefits for children who regularly sit down for a family dinner are mind blowing! I'm especially glad to cut out so much processed food and salty, fatty, cholesteral/preservative-loaded take out on most nights (we can eat out on the weekend and show off our good manners)!! Plus, eating unprocessed food at home costs less.

What works for us (but may not be acceptable in other families):

1) Bringing reading material to the table. When I grew up, my parents were so happy I was so "addicted" to reading I could bring books to the table. For us, this doesn't prevent family conversation but actually encourages it as we discuss what we read. I also allow a small toy or two to the table; admittedly, this is to keep everyone together/happy for a longer period of time and it's a lot easier to do this w/just one child but isn't for everyone. Even with these things at our table we still give undivided attention and take turns talking!
2) No nagging also means parents should not push food, which rarely works anyway: act nonchalant when they turn up their noses at the veggies and it's a non issue, but fuel their passion to fight back (by not eating) and it's all over - the family dinner will never be the happy healthful experience it should be and your children will likely have a liftetime of "eating issues." I encourage my son to try things but would never insist on a "clean plate" (another valuable lesson learned from my parents).
3) As the weather warms up (still pretty cool and rainy here in MD this week), take the meal outside and/or enjoy a family walk afterwards to keep the great conversation going, enjoy the outdoors and promote good healthy habits.

Thanks for the tips - you're right about getting kids involved in meal preparation (we need to do more of that) and totally agreed on religion and politics - what better place to discuss these things and what we hear/read about them...

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We usually have family dinners, but on those days that we know scheduling prevents it, we try to have a family breakfast. I make sure we are up early enough to avoid feeling rushed every day, but it really only takes a small adjustment on my part to have a sit down breakfast together.

We also have a game we play called Highs and Lows" where each child picks the best and worst thing of their day. It helps gets conversatons started and avoids the problem of kids saying nothing happened that day.

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Methods for a family is completely satisfied if it lies in the concepts it offers, fabulous, I would highlight the Keep the conversation including, without her family break easily.
Many times the money becomes a barrier to communication, not necessarily because it is missing, unlike their parents believe that by providing a pool of assets to their children they will be complete, this is false, the need for daily communication is vital.
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I like Karen's point above, re. breakfasts. Sat. and Sun. can be esp. good times for this. Dinners are great, but other meals count too--even snacks--for families with school-age kids or teens who have inconveniently timed sports and other activities. I agree with the article about the mind-blowing benefits of meals together. Have never been sure if it's really a causal link or just a correlation--i.e., are the shared meals truly a magic bullet for successful outcomes, or are core qualities of families that manage to eat together, rather than the meals themselves, helping to protect kids against negative outcomes? Guess it doesn't matter much, ultimately. Good topic.

regards,
Mary
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I 100% agree with you Rachel.

I grew up in a family that always had family dinners, and I continue that now in my own family. Sometimes it's pleasant, sometimes it's a struggle to keep kids in their chairs, but it's always worth it.

Aside from the valuable family time that goes a long way in keeping children grounded with values, children also gain structure in their daily lives. Knowing they will get to see their family at dinner time, regardless of what happened in school that day, teaches them that they can always count on their family to be there for them in their daily lives. And that is a pschological pattern that, unfortunately, not many children develope.

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Great Post Rachel!
I totally agree with you. My daughter and I have dinner at the table and we always begin with a prayer and although she is only three she is very verbal so conversation is plenty :) We also do sat. and sun. breakfast, blueberry, strawberry or bananna pancakes, occassionally chocolate chips pancakes. She helps me by pouring the fruit in the batter and setting the table. She loves it.

We also do Fun Fridays which is just a free for all night we do something that she wants to do and we ususally make this pizza night and we watch a movie. Another great way to connect with your kids is by having a picnic, on warmer days we goin the backyard and have a picnic. Sharing a meal is a great way to be with your kids and have quality time together.

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Mary - I've wondered the same thing about why the correlation too! One question I had was if these families that eat together, are they also very family/health/child/teenager oriented so you don't have as many of the other drug, dropout issues as in families that are less aware of what's going on w/their kids? Same thing w/breastfeeding and IQ correlation - are the mothers who are inclined to do this for a year also the parents who read to their children every day, expose the kids to learning experiences, emphasize importance of education, etc. Either way - it's all good!

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at our house, each person has an assigned dinner night. On your dinner night, you get to choose what we're eating and get everything prepared. Everyone helps with the cooking and cleaning and we eat at the table! With busy schedules it's nice to have 3 nights where we know we'll be eating together.

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At what point should the family be called to the table for dinner? My wife and I disagree on this. I say that when the food is on the table and ready to be served, the kids should be called down to wash up and sit down.

My wife insists on calling everybody to sit down while she is still getting it out of the oven, microwave, and stove. We are expected to wait as she mashed the potatoes, cuts the meat, and puts the vegetables in the bowls. As each item is brought to the table, naturally it starts getting served and eaten one at a time. By the time the meat is finally put on the table, everybody is done with everything else, eats the meat, and is ready to leave and do other things.

I as the husband are happy to help with the setting of the table and serving the food-I just dont think the children need to be sitting around at the table while this is being done.

So, how is this done in other families???

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But remember, not shouted loudly at the dinner table to your child.


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Check out the blog www.eyesofbabes.wordpress.com for a very good post about kids watching television.

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