Is It Okay to Brag About Your Kids?

I have two daughters in their 20's and I am very proud of them and their accomplishments. I am not fond of bragging or boasting, but when it's necessary (LOL) -- such as my younger daughter graduating from college Summa Cum Laude or my older daughter getting her Master's Degree -- I simply preface it with something like "OK, you have to indulge me while I brag on my kid for a minute". This makes the mood lighter, and everyone knows that I am an infrequent bragger and only do this with family and close friends. I know how much I don't like it, so wouldn't do it to others -- remember the Golden Rule! :)

My sister, on the other hand, brags about her sons way too much -- to the point that I hate hearing about it (replete with eye rolling). For example, my older daughter (who is pregnant with her first child) recently discovered that her baby is a boy. She and her husband are thrilled, and so are my husband and I. Anyway, I dropped a few people an email to let them know the baby is a boy and how excited I am since I had two girls. Instead of my sister's reply focusing on the new baby, she spotlighted her sons instead -- saying how great they are, etc. *Sigh* She has some problems with self-esteem, so seems to feel the need to point out fabulous things (real or imagined) about herself or her sons. It gets really old, but we don't live close to each other so fortunately I don't have to deal with it too much!

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As a parent of grown children, I rarely said anything about them over the years when speaking with friends, because I did not want to become one of those mothers who couldn't shut up about her "perfect, brilliant, talented, wonderful, handsome, beautiful children." That kind of stuff wears very thin very fast! And I know how boring it can be. My own parents always favored another sibling in the family, and constantly lauded this person to anyone who would listen and also to those who were clearly trying to escape their bragging conversation. When all else failed, they turned the bragging on me and I have to admit that years of listening to how great my sibling was, really shaped me into NOT being a bragging parent. I cannot imagine pitting my children against one another in that way (because that's really what that parental behavior does, inadvertently or on purpose). They are grown and have a good relationship with me and with one another. I cannot say the same for my sibling and myself. In fact. I grew to hate my sibling intensely, and I am sure part of it was that I went through decades of listening to my parents laud them to the point that I often thought the indulged in idol worship when it came to my sibling. Strange but true.

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It's not that it's wrong to brag about your kids, but it is going to have the downside that people won't want to listen to you, and might even take a dislike to them!

It's also daft, because our kids are all as great as each other, neither better or worse. So many Mums worry when they compare their child to other children. But they really don't have to. Because if they did a fair comparison, they would see that whilst one child is agile in the park, the other is agile around a book. Then whilst one child is tall, the other is so likeable that they get seen even if they are small.

If a Mum is always bragging, then the child won't have the confidence in their love for them, with both the 'good' and 'not so good' bits. Versus a Mum always worrying, and thereby not giving the child confidence in their own 'genius' I recommend seeing your children as they are - perfectly imperfect, and meant to be that way.

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