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Using Rewards While Potty Training
Categories: Potty Training
Shortly after my younger daughter turned two, we went to the store and let her pick out the prettiest baby doll there. Then we set it on top of her dresser and told her that as soon as she was ready to go night-night without her pacifier, it was all hers. That doll sat there, ignored, for another year. It's not that my daughter wouldn't try, but she just wasn't ready to let go of her pacifier, her most beloved lovey.
We learned an important lesson then about rewards. Treats, prizes, and stickers can be an incentive for kids to work a little harder, but only if they're developmentally and emotionally ready to try something in the first place. That's a good way to think about treats when it comes to potty training. If your tot is showing signs of readiness and is interested in potty training, then rewards might just be the thing that gets the job done. But a child who's too young or resisting might just need more time, not more prodding.
If you've decided to reward potty training, here are some things to think about:
- Make rewards immediate. Toddlers are rarely interested in rewards they have to wait days or even hours for.
- Wait for success. Toddlers can't keep promises, so if you reward them on the condition they'll stay dry all day, you'll both probably be disappointed.
- Make rewards interesting, something they don't see, eat, or use every day.
- Take baby steps. Conservative toddlers might need a treat just to sit on the potty. After a day or two, require something more.
The mothers at Momversation addressed the issue of food as reward last November, most of them agreeing that food as a reward isn't a great idea, but also that parents have to do what gets them through the day. But as the commenters on that conversation and Jenn C. of New Jersey Moms Blog discovered, using food as a potty training reward has two drawbacks: 1) Kids who "get it" suddenly start using the potty every 15 minutes, looking for their treat, and 2) Moms start eating way more sweets than the normally would -- just because it's there.
At the end of the day, only you can know what reward is right for your child. So in addition to sweet treats or favorite cookies and crackers, here are some non-food reward ideas:
- Stickers: Beloved characters, especially, might win toddlers over.
- Treasure box: Fill it with inexpensive toys.
- Sticker charts can be used to work up to a bigger prize, but make sure to reinforce them with a small, immediate reward too.
- A special video or computer time
- Play money that they can spend at the store
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
toby 5-01-2009 @ 11:56AM
I think using rewards is a great idea if you are consistent about it, but also think it's best to avoid food-based rewards...
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Gretchen 5-25-2009 @ 10:43AM
I can tell you that rewards work. We have 3 1/2 year old twins (b/g) and we use rewards...stickers for #1 and "Taffy for turds" (gross but catchy). Our son was down to wearing pull-ups at nap/bed time, he is 100% potty trained 1 week after implementing our plan. My daughter is still having problems with #2, but she is getting there. We didn't want to resort to the rewards system, but it was the most effective method for our kids.
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Linda Mason 6-07-2009 @ 3:23PM
Sorry folks, but I used neither rewards or punishment and had two boys trained by age one with few accidents. First of all, both were dry when they woke in night even as babies. I changed them as soon as they were wet. As soon as they could set up, but with me holding them, I held them on the toilet seat which was a flat ring over the larger seat. As they could sit alone I would put them on the toilet, put a t.v. tray in front of them and sit with them, usually reading to them, so maybe that was a reward for them, but we did read to them many other times. We did not sit very long. They were allowed to be in bathroom with both of us. Toilet training was just a natural part of life and they seem to accept it.
Our daughter, who happened to be adopted and the third child, was a totally different ball game. She was also not rewarded, but she was too busy to be bothered with such fundamentals of life, I guess. Altho' most of her "accidents" were only wet pants or wetting the bed at night.
Punishment of any of the children was never an occurrence.
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Nicole 6-26-2009 @ 8:07AM
I am potty training my 21 month old son with rewards...he gets excited when he gets a small reward... he knows hes done something good and therefore gets a little something in return... Its never anything big... we started with little candies... that were just his size... but now we use Mini-Teddy-Grahams... he gets 2 everytime he goes to the bathroom... so in total hes getting a hand full of these. Which is thes same amount for a snack... so I don't see where potty training your child with rewards is a bad thing... he only gets these when he goes potty and thats it... They feel important when they do something good... you should reward them for doing something good.
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heather 7-02-2009 @ 5:38PM
i think its good to use the reward system. i use with my 2 1/2 year old son sticker rewards. when he goes on his potty it equals a stickter of his choice. each one stands for 1 prize at the end of the week, so if he has 3 stickers it means a big prize like going bowling or buying a movie of his choice. it seems to be working for him. i figured to put that out there to let other people know that there is always a way to help them out
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