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I Think I Gave My Baby the Wrong Name!
Filed under: Baby Names
I think I gave my baby the wrong name! My dh and I liked the name Madison so much that we settled early on in pregnancy. Now our baby is here and I'm having serious second thoughts. They are taking over my time and energy and I can't shake this feeling. I would like to change her name but everyone thinks I'm crazy. My son said her name fast and it sounded like medicine and now I've picked it apart. My dh doesn't care much for Lily which would have been a great option. I just want a beautiful name I love for my beautiful daughter.
Plenty of parents bring home a beautiful new baby and find that the beautiful new name they had picked out suddenly feels all wrong. Maybe the name sounds different when you say it 100 times a day. Maybe the name doesn't fit this particular child. Maybe the stress of new parenthood is making small problems loom large. Or maybe -- just maybe -- you chose the wrong name.What's so crazy about that? People choose wrong all the time. Nobody thinks you're crazy for returning an outfit that didn't look as dazzling at home as it did at the store. Yet the idea of changing an infant's name always leads to a lot of eye-rolling. Personally, I think this is an important enough decision that it's worth getting right. Saying your baby's name should be a moment of bonding, not a moment of angst. But before you dive into a whole new name search, roll back the clock to the first one.
Nine months ago, you loved this name. You and your husband were in complete agreement. Can you recapture that feeling? Better yet, can your husband help you do it? Instead of dismissing your concerns, your husband can take the lead on helping you re-fall in love with the name Madison. Ask him to tell you again why this is the right name. Let him describe the good feelings the name gives him, and why it will be a special gift for your little girl.
Good feelings like that can be contagious. Better yet, they can help bring you and your husband back to common ground on this name problem. Because the one part of your letter that really worried me was when you revealed that you're still pining for a name your husband rejected. Partners don't always agree on names, but they should always make sure that their choice doesn't leave hurt feelings on either side.
Plenty of parents bring home a beautiful new baby and find that the beautiful new name they had picked out suddenly feels all wrong. Maybe the name sounds different when you say it 100 times a day. Maybe the name doesn't fit this particular child. Maybe the stress of new parenthood is making small problems loom large. Or maybe -- just maybe -- you chose the wrong name.What's so crazy about that? People choose wrong all the time. Nobody thinks you're crazy for returning an outfit that didn't look as dazzling at home as it did at the store. Yet the idea of changing an infant's name always leads to a lot of eye-rolling. Personally, I think this is an important enough decision that it's worth getting right. Saying your baby's name should be a moment of bonding, not a moment of angst. But before you dive into a whole new name search, roll back the clock to the first one.
Nine months ago, you loved this name. You and your husband were in complete agreement. Can you recapture that feeling? Better yet, can your husband help you do it? Instead of dismissing your concerns, your husband can take the lead on helping you re-fall in love with the name Madison. Ask him to tell you again why this is the right name. Let him describe the good feelings the name gives him, and why it will be a special gift for your little girl.
Good feelings like that can be contagious. Better yet, they can help bring you and your husband back to common ground on this name problem. Because the one part of your letter that really worried me was when you revealed that you're still pining for a name your husband rejected. Partners don't always agree on names, but they should always make sure that their choice doesn't leave hurt feelings on either side.
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
5-04-2009 @ 12:49PM
deanna hixson said...my dear, you do as you feel lead. of upmost importance is what meaning the name has. you can go to the library for free or barnes & nobles if you wish to purchase a book of names. it has their orgin and meaning. Did you pray? Nothing is too small or foolish to Jesus. P.S.--I like Madison, if that is worth anything. Mother of David, Andrew and Timothy!!!
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5-04-2009 @ 5:08PM
maritza said...i think madison is beautiful.. ive honestly never heard of people changing their kids names. ive heard people changing their names later into adult hood. maybe u should leave it and let your daughter decide later if she wants to change it. u dont want to change it and have her hate u for it later bcuz she liked that name. just leave it as is. my parents piked bautiful names for me and my sister MARITZA, JELINI and ADAHLI and they dont regret it. every name will fit the person eventually. u grew into ur name, just like ur daughter will. :)
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5-04-2009 @ 11:34PM
Carme said...Check with your states laws. I believe some states allow you to change the mane for free up to age five.
Add the names to your last name then think like a mean kid and find the terrible nick names that may go with it.
Call her Maddie.
If you feel so wrong then change it before she gets to know herself as Madison.
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5-06-2009 @ 9:35PM
Hart said...Madison means "son of Maud" or, if one adds the meaning of Maud, Madison means "son of the great (female) warrior".
If you and your husband were originally attracted to the nickname Maddie, you could change her name to Madeleine. Or switch to Margaret and nickname her Maggie. If your husband thinks Lily sounds too delicate, maybe he'd like Lila or Lilian? Whatever you two choose, don't be dissuaded by what others think, people are always going to have opinions on how you raise your children and such busybodies should be ignored.
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7-15-2009 @ 4:16AM
Fairytell said...Sweet. I heard that its best to wait for the baby to be born before deciding and choosing a name. I wondered the pros and cons...but now I see. Often the childs names itself...and apparently in this case she did...so I say go ahead and change her name. Do leave Madison as a middle name though.
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