Mom of Boys Learns How to Handle a Girl

I really wanted my second child to be a girl, and was very concerned when I found out he was a boy... I had two brothers who fought (physically) incessently while growing up. My husband also talks about how he used to have physical fights with his brothers. I've always understood that ALL kids have uncontrolled emotions (for boys it just usually takes the form of anger more than tears), and I've never thought "whining, moping, triangulating, and manipulating" are only girl qualities (as my 4 yo can represent). Anyway, other parents of boys made me feel better when they said their boys weren't always punching at each other because they didn't allow it. Unfortunately, I'm already dealing with my 4yo doing things like throwing my 1 yo down by his HEAD! Ugh.

Anyway, boys are generally physical by nature (at least mine are), and I guess it's my obligation to teach appropriate behavior the same as the mother of girls would have to in the unique way that presents itself.

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I think Any Wilson should be ashamed of herself. Her little girl is a gift from God. How will she feel when she finds out that her mother didn't want her because she was a girl and not a boy? My grandfather said that he cried when my mother was born because she wasn't a girl. That statement hurt my mother throughtout her life. My grandpa was lucky that he had my mother. She cared for him in his old age. Her "wanted" brothers did not take care of him. Amy is lucky to have a girl.

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Sorry, the message should have read, "My grandfather said that he cried because she wasn't a boy.

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I can understand how she feels, even though I didn't read her article. When I was pregnant with my daughter, my first, I wanted a boy. I had been told they were easy and that is what I wanted. Then 3 years later when I was pregnant with my son, I was disappointed because he was a boy. Mainly, because I knew girls at that point and had no idea how to handle boy things. I still don't sometimes, but he is fun and we are having a good time.

What I have figured out is that neither sex is easier and they all come with their warts. I am due to have another girl this July and wonder what she will be like. And yes the whining and moodiness are annoying, but they both have it just in different ways.

I think being disappointed at a gender, before birth, is more common than people would like to admit. What matters is what you do after that child is born. I can't imagine our world without my son or my daughter.

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I knew before my son was born that he was going to be a boy, even though we didn't find out the sex...I just had that "feeling". I was COMPLETELY lost when he was born. Yes he was our first, but more so that he was a boy is the reason I was lost. I had never been around boys, so I had no idea how to take care of boy needs. Now that he is almost 7 years old, I am SO glad we are done with the training stages and he can take care of those needs himself.
I also have a 4 year old daughter. She was a breeze to take care of as a baby. Potty training was a snap, and she loves all the girly little things. I love my son dearly, but if I would have had the choice before he was born, I probably would have chosen a girl just because I had no idea about boys. (I'm probably gonna get all kinds of nasty comments on that..but oh well.) As far as the whining and moping goes...that is my son HANDS DOWN!!

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I can think of some mother's who might have preferred girls. My own dear mother loved to shop, and as a small boy I was dragged along these Saturday expeditions. Though I would have dearly loved to stay home and watch TV I was to young to be trusted (I'm still young that way). There just wasn't much in these dept stores to interest small boys. Strangely, it was to be one those dept stores that was to be "the scene of the crime".

It was about that time my mother began wearing a wig. I was never sure when she was wearing the wig or not. SO on one occasion in a dept store, as she was chatting with an acquaintance, I blurted out "Is that your wig?" It gets worse.

Naturally I was too young to understand that this was an embarrassing question. So I didn't understand why she was ignoring it. Since it seemed obvious that she wasn't going to give me the answer I decided to find out for myself. As she was chatting away with her friend I reached over to the top of her head and pulled. It was the wig. The shopping trips seemed to wind down after that. She never forgot the incident. happy Mother's Day Mom!

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I didn't find out the gender of either of my kids before birth (I'm a throwback; I think it's cheating to find out at the ultrasound, and they can be inaccurate anyway), and I'm glad I didn't. There are so few true surprises left in this world anymore, and finding out at birth that they were both girls was terrifric. Especially the second one; my husband had insisted because of my pregnancy symptoms and the way she kicked in utero that our second child was a boy. When she was born and we found out she was a girl, I was glad, partly because that way my older daughter would have a little sister to pal around with and partly because all those cute baby girl clothes I'd saved would be used again. If I'd had a boy, I must admit I would've been a little nervous at first, since I only have a sister and don't know much about boys other than it takes two diapers to change them (one under, one over).

Not that raising girls won't have its challenges. I've always been a tomboy growing up, and I still am today. The last time I wore a dress was on my wedding day ten years ago (I live in jeans and sneakers), the number of times per year that I wear makeup or nail polish you can count on one hand and have fingers left over, and the closest I get to a purse is my younger daughter's diaper bag (nothing in it's mine-if I can't stick it in a pocket, I don't need it). My older one is only 6 1/2, and so far she has no problem wearing modest dresses and clothing that doesn't make her look like a prostitute (mainly because I refuse to buy it). It's going to be interesting if one or both of them turns out to be a "girly" girl, because I'm afraid I won't be much help!

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Secret gender preferences are pretty common in pregnancy. It's only human to have these feelings. To me, it's refreshing when admits "well, I would love a little (boy/girl)" before doling out the "as long as it's healthy" line.

You find out pretty quickly, though, that even if you have all one gender, their personalities are completely different. I have a more argumentative, expressive, stereotypical "girl" type communicator among my 3 boys, for instance. And the notion that one gender is easier than the other seems ludicrous. Some KIDS are easier than others, but it doesn't follow gender lines. And even with that--easy babies may grow into difficult teens, and vice versa.

LOL about the pink poodle party--my niece (6) just had one :) I'm glad it was SIL and not me putting that together, but I'm sure I would have learned to enjoy that stuff, had I had girls. My youngest niece (4) hates pink and purple, so go figure.

Mary
http://www.squidoo.com/dad-gifts

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