Kate Gosselin's Brother Says Her Marriage is "Over"

by Amy Hatch (Subscribe to Amy Hatch's posts) May 15th 2009 11:00AM

Kate Gosselin's brother Kevin Kreider say that his sister's marriage to husband Jon Gosselin is "over" and that their relationship is now governed by a "secret contract" in order to preserve the high ratings of their popular TLC reality show, "Jon & Kate Plus Eight."

Kate Gosselin of Jon and Kate Plus 8

Rumors are swirling about Jon and Kate Gosselin's marriage. Is it over? Or is this just the stuff of reality TV? It's hard to know what's true, but it's even harder to look away.

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Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you had one more child? How about two more? How about SIX more?

Four years ago, Jon and Kate Gosselin went from being parents of two to parents of eight, and their lives have never been the same.

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Today we all have a window into that life on TLC's Jon and Kate Plus 8. And of course, part of peeking into someone else's life is hypothesizing how we might do things differently or better, because it's always easy to imagine what you would do in someone else's shoes.

What is harder to imagine is what it would really be like to walk in those other shoes -- what's it like to wake up every morning and be Kate Gosselin? ParentDish had a chance to ask her just that recently.

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In a normal week, the Gosselins have a television crew in their house about half the time, which is a lot, if you think about it. And while they will occasionally opt out of filming specific moments with their kids, the Gosselins have no editorial control over the show -- what you see is what you get, packaged by a team of folks at Discovery and TLC. But, Kate says, this is reality TV, and it accurately reflects life at the Gosselin house; nothing is pre-planned or made up. "We don't have time to memorize scripts," she jokes.

I believe that.

"We set out to show the truth," Kate says, "I couldn't watch it if it weren't true." What you see, in every televised moment, is precisely what is happening -- no stage directions or do-overs. This is life at the Gosselin house.

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Kate Gosselin has gotten quite a bit of flak, both from the media and from viewers, for the way she treats her husband; the two are often shown bickering during the show. Kate says the criticisms don't bother her; she doesn't Google herself or make a practice of reading about herself on or off line. "Everyone has an opinion," she says, "and I'm only paying attention to my own." But she does admit that the way the show is edited affects how people see her family and her marriage. "If Jon and I have three spats over a two day period, they're going to edit it to make it look like those happened in the 22 minute period." The show is just a small slice of her family's life, after all.

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Kate is clearly focused not on what goes on outside her family but on her children. Her goal, she says, is to treat each child like an only child -- a hard thing to do when you're the mom of eight. "I hold myself to a very high standard," she says. At the same time, though, she's not trying to be perfect, or even to appear perfect to viewers of the show. She's just living her life.

And yes, she's living it with television cameras in her house, but it's still her real life. Kate says that while the experience of being on television has changed her life, it hasn't changed who she is. She says the same about having eight children -- "It's hard to live through what we have lived through and not change. We are the same -- it's how people treat us" that is different.

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One of the hardest things about her family, Kate says, is the noise; there are days when the older girls, Cara and Mady, come home from school and their reports about what they have done are drowned out by the noise of the sextuplets. More than anything, she says, she longs for peace and quiet -- otherwise, she would not change a thing about her life.

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Kate finds the humor in her life -- recently, she partnered with P&G to help promote some of their brands, including Bounty paper towels, which she refers to as "my weapon of choice." She also laughs about the end of nap time at the Gosselin house; the sextuplets are four now and no one, Kate says, naps any more. But it's a rare night that the family gets through dinner without someone dozing off at the table. Recently, Jon said, "I think we can kiss goodbye ever having a family dinner again." A good night, Kate said, is when the kids push their plates out of the way before they fall asleep.

You have to laugh about that, and Kate Gosselin does.

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The Gosselins have a strong faith in God; they are often seen on the show wearing t-shirts with scripture on them and attending church. But despite the fact that the show doesn't highlight their faith, the Gosselins see it as an opportunity to share what they believe. Their website, The Gosselin 10, includes prayers and devotionals, and Jon and Kate travel around speaking to various churches and groups about their life and faith. The show, Kate says, has given them this opportunity to share what they believe.

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And for the Gosselins, being on television is about opportunity, not fame. The show has opened a variety of doors for them; Kate and Jon both work from home, which makes their life as parnents of eight more manageable. But it's not easy by any means -- there are days, Kate says, when she and Jon work until midnight.

Kate has three pieces of advice for other parents. "Every morning, before my feet hit the floor," she says, "I pray for strength, just enough to get through that day." She reminds parents that a sense of humor can get you through nearly everything -- laugh, she says, don't cry. And finally, the most important lesson of all: "Always remember that bedtime comes, every single day."

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Kevin Krieder, 32, tells RadarOnline.com: "Six months ago Kate came to Jon and said, 'Hey, it's over.'" He says that the couple fought so fiercely that the show's production crew had a hard time getting enough footage to patch episodes together. Krieder also reveals that some members of the crew had concerns over how the Gosselin children were treated during filming.

Krieder's wife, Jodi, adds that her sister-in-law "exploits" the couple's eight children and that they are suffering because of it. She then goes on to say that the show is nothing but a sham: "The show is not reality, and has not been for a long time. This is a train wreck."

Train wreck? How about the Hindenburg? Jon Gosselin's been spotted squiring his alleged mistress, third grade school teacher Deanna Hummell to nightclubs all over Pennsylvania, while Kate fends off accusations that she's canoodling with bodyguard Steve Neild while gallivanting around the country on publicity junkets.

Any long-time fan of the Gosselins' reality show could tell you that this was a couple on the verge of serious marital problems. Kate's controlling ways (and angry-porcupine hair-do) are part of what make "Jon & Kate" so entertaining. Watching her give Jon the business is all part of the fun, right? And Jon? He plays the victim well, but recently seemed less passive when his wife berated him for all of TV Land to see.

Look, it's easy (and fun!) to judge celebrities from afar, and they set themselves up for it. The price of fame, right? But in this case, as "Aunt Jodi" correctly points out, there are eight little kids for whom none of this is a joke. Their parents' marriage is in a very public death spiral, and their little lives are hostage to whatever happens with mom and dad.

Kate told People that she "doesn't know what she can do to stop the insanity" of the tabloid news coverage about her family. Um, hey, here's an idea -- maybe turn off the TV cameras and get to work on repairing your relationship? Kreider agrees, and urges his sister and brother-in-law to give up the trappings of fame and fortune to save their marriage. "Their family is in shambles," he says.

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Comments (15)

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

LS 5-15-2009 @ 4:04PM

Seems to me it wouldn't be so easy for either one of them to just "turn off the TV cameras and get to work on repairing [their] relationship". I'm guessing that the minute one of them tried to do that, they would be hit with even *more* publicity, as well as a big, fat, "breach of contract" suit. Talk about ruining a family.

Esme 5-18-2009 @ 6:12PM

Hi, I think all marriages have problems and the point is what is important in life.. Your marriage? your kids? your work? And for this couple, the life it wasn't easy, nobody can be so happy, if they would know that they are going to have 6 kids plus? It's impossible, after a while i think you accept the idea but it was difficult in the begining.. Then they accepted to introduce their family in a reality show, was it for money? for help? for what? We don't know, but we loved what we have watched on tv about this family. And we won't never forget that they are human, they can be wrong, they also can learn about their mistakes. Life is not easy and if Kate feels so happy because of her books, is it bad? i think it isn't .. Just because she is thinking about herself now, it doesn't mean, she doesn't love her kids.

Lynn 5-27-2009 @ 4:26PM

Kate will never give up the fame now. She is addicted to telling people what to do and being in control. She has found an avenue to do that with. She will continue on with the show, no matter the repercussions, until TLC cancels them.

I've watched all the episodes, and while Jon is not perfect, I think he takes very good care of the kids when he has them. He is more about letting them be kids. She is too worried about what they look like, which will come back to bite her in the butt when they get a little older. They are kids, they can get dirty!! It's really ok!!

Mz. M 5-16-2009 @ 2:41AM

I forgot what episode it was but it was before they went off to Hawaii and Kate had all the little kids down in the basement to watch there wedding video and at the end she promised the little 6 kids that "mommy and daddy will be together forever" and i don't remember if it was Hannah, Leah, or Alexis ,but one of the three replied "forever" and Kate said "yes forever" . It's making promises like that is what will hurt the kids i can see the kids going up to her and asking "mommy, but you said you and daddy were going to be together forever" that just makes me cry.

If they share custody which i hope they will i know that when they are with Jon that he will let them be kids he's said it a few times in the episodes to Kate " Kate let them be kids" I often wonder she said that she was not able to have kids so she went through invetro if you are not able to have kids then why when you do have kids not let them have fun and just let them be kids god gave you beautiful 8 kids let them have fun let them be kids. In the crayola factory episode they came up to a play dough table and first words out of Kate's mouth was "i better not see anything on your clothes" in all of this is the kids i feel bad for they are the ones hurting and both parent's can't stop and ignore the rumors and just concentrate on the 8 kids.

bremarie03 5-16-2009 @ 2:59AM

Maybe a divorce would be the best thing for those kids...maybe then they could stop being actors and start being kids.

Brooke 5-17-2009 @ 12:31AM

Seems to me like that 'family' is a little to eager to talk to the media. I know I wouldn't talk about my brother like that. They are totally exploiting their position.

ninainindia 5-17-2009 @ 12:07PM

Glad he isn't my brother! What is he doing talking to the press?

viewfromtherobinsnest 5-18-2009 @ 7:20AM

Family's are complicated living things that change on a dime. The last thing this lovely family needs is everyone saying what their personal nasty opinions are of who they believe them to be. The intentions at the begining of this journey were true I'm sure and since we don't live with them or really know them, passing judgement is pathetic and honestly maybe giving them their personal privacy is best for the Children, since so many of you have something to say about that too.
I agree its sad to feel that a child is not in the best situation they could be, ideal is hardly where your kids have been in your lives everyday of their lives too. Lets all just remember that when you take a painful stance with people you don't know, maybe you might consider your own motives.
I'm hopeful that these people can see how its not in the best interest of the children to make negative statements. They read too.
Positive support is the only thing to say at this difficult time.
I hope their extended family can see this soon.

Irma 5-18-2009 @ 5:51PM

With a brother, and sister-law like these two, who needs enemies. Talk about being green with envy.

somanybackstabbers 5-19-2009 @ 3:32AM

AGREED! Obviously the brother and sister-n-law are really not that concerned for the children nor for Jon and Kate. They are totally throwing them under the bus and are certainly contributing to hurting the children by coming out publicly to the whole world to destroy the entire family. If they were truly "concerned' about them then why are they appearing everywhere to discuss their own flesh and blood's problems. I just think it's sick and twisted. It's really sad. If they are truly concerned and want whats best for the Gosselin family then why not keep their mouths shut about all of their personal problems and pray for them. Sounds like there might be an alterior motive to me. Most people who love and care for their families love unconditionally no matter what.

Noah Lieske 5-22-2009 @ 3:21AM

Agree, all marriages have problems. It only matters how much you are willing to tr to fix those problems. Noah Lieske

Toni 5-25-2009 @ 1:34PM

Ya know I have never been a big fan of the show...But I feel I have to comment on this family. First, I love how people feel it "okay" to comment on a reality TV couple. I mean do you really think you know these people. When the show first began, people couldn't get enough...Then as the clouds turn gray....Everyone is "they are exploiting their children, it's all fake, it's all about the money, etc." Well, first of all, YES, it is all about the money, why else would they have done it in the first place....duh. 2nd, these kids only know of a life with TV people around, so that is their NORM. Doesn't make it right, but I don't think the kids are being "hurt" by this. I am sure the kids will be more upset when everyone (producers, camera guys etc) leave....To them they are family. 3rd. What in the heck is wrong with Kate's family???? Her bother and sister in law didn't seem to mind when they were part of the show. When they were infront of the camera, it was all good....Kate had nothing but good things to say about her brother and sister in law. (yes, I did catch a couple of shows) However, as soon as trouble surfaces, WOW....Watch em' go after them.

Ya know telling your kids "mommy and daddy will be together forever" isn't the worse thing you can do. Moving your family into a big house, isn't the worse thing you can do. Letting your family on national TV isn't the worse thing you can do.

So if you don't like Jon or Kate, that is fine....If you don't like the idea of the show, that is fine too. I suggest you don't watch the show and if ratings drop enough they will cancel it.

I don't want to see any marriage break up, but I don't have control of this....Only Jon and Kate do. I don't think they need my two cents or anyone's making judgements or telling what to do. You know the old saying "don't judge someone unless you have walked a mile in their shoes".

Just my thoughts on the idea.....

j 5-26-2009 @ 11:54PM

dr. laura says today on her show that she's had many emails suggesting she intervene or, give her opinion. she replied today that she's unfamiliar with the show and doesn't condone any show which exploits children, even going so far as to say that someone should represent the children. she ended the short answer with the comment that they are "not good parents" for allowing the sham of the show.

Brittany 5-27-2009 @ 1:56PM

I feel bad for the family, its ridicoulous that people go out of thier way to judge or put them down. I am a big fan of the show but I think the best thing for the whole family would be to cancel it. We have all seen relationships in the past that are on reality tv go up in flames. In this case it wouldn't be just a mom and dad, it would be a mom, dad and 8 beautiful kids. My opinion, cancel the show, work on the marriage and figure out what the most important things in life are.

lmdm65 7-22-2009 @ 4:55PM

The question is how many reality shows featuring families have actually came out of these shows okay ? Off the top of my head I can think of ... I don't know NONE ! ... Yet the victims of this reality nightmares are as usual the innocent... The kids suffer the "real reality " when in the end their families fall apart... Screw fame & money what do you truly hope in the highest regard ? It should be your families and more importantly youe children...

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