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Potty Training Advice from the "Babyproofers"
Categories: Potty Training
When we were tasked with gathering the most comprehensive tips, advice and information on potty training, we wanted to provide many different perspectives, including those of parenting authors and experts. Stacie Cockrell, Cathy O'Neill and Julia Stone -- authors of "Babyproofing Your Marriage: How to Laugh More and Argue Less As Your Family Grows" and creators of BabyproofingYourMarriage.com -- were approached by ParentDish to get their take on the potty training process. Read on...
Potty Training Advice from the Babyproofers
Teaching your child to use the potty is a rite of passage for all parents. It's a messy, often frustrating, and somewhat ridiculous process. It involves doing things like shouting at your spouse, "Honey, come look, Jamie just did a poo!" then congratulating your child on this landmark achievement with a congratulations you just got into Harvard level of enthusiasm. The three of us have (pretty much) trained our eight children. Just last week, Julia's morning began at 4:30 with her almost 5-year-old saying, "Mommy, I had an accident." So, the joy that is potty training can continue for many years. Below are some potty training strategies that we have learned -- and are continuing to learn -- as we forge our way down the parenting highway. Good luck!
- Give a demonstration. Your child needs to see how it's all done, so give him or her a tour of the bathroom and/or stage a one-act "how to use the potty" play with your child's favorite toys. During this demonstration you will be amazed -- and possibly horrified -- by the things you will say in order to instruct your child on bathroom behavior. For example, "The poop needs to go down the toilet to go to the poop party." We won't tell you which one of us said that.
- Enlist Dad (oh yeah, him), in the process, especially if you have boys. Tell him it's a gentle warm up for when he gets to have the sex talk with them when they're older. No matter what gender your children, Dad should be on board and 100% with the program. Like two generals preparing for battle the two of you need to map out an agreed upon strategy beforehand. Your child needs consistency. Any changes, no matter how small, in the potty training process can cause confusion and serious setbacks.
- Pull out the props. There is a ton of potty-training paraphernalia out there from musical potties that tinkle when your child does, to story books that chart the exciting adventure that is learning to use the potty. Try them all! Make the bathroom the most exciting room in the house. Drape banners and balloons over the toilet, tape up a photograph of your child using the toilet, leave out a stack of reading material (just like Daddy has!) and put fun soaps beside the sink.
- Try an Incentives Program. Some kids love to use a chart and stickers to record their progress on the potty. The promise of a new toy or special outing for a completed chart can be highly motivating. Others couldn't care less about your Frequent Pee-er/Pooper Program, and might respond better to a more straight forward exchange, i.e. one poop on the potty equals one toy car. This latter strategy, however, can get expensive.
- When things get stuck. When the foods in your kids' diet are all about as white as a blanket of new-fallen snow and gosh darnit, they just don't want to eat their dark-green leafies and their fiber-rich legumes, their plumbing is bound to back up. Never fear, the miracle that is Miralax will get them flowing again. In fact, you will likely not believe what comes out of your child.
- Celebrate every little success. Find your inner cheerleader and let her out, girlfriend. Your enthusiasm will be contagious. Who among us doesn't love a little praise and admiration? Especially if you're a little person setting (sitting) out to conquer the toddler equivalent of Mt. Everest. It is with lowered eyes that we admit the following elimination celebrations have all occurred in one of our homes: conga lines, popsicle parties (with stuffed animals in attendance), ... anyone?
- You've got to laugh (or you'll cry). Every parent has their share of potty training horror stories. While dealing with the poop prints on the walls and carpets of your home is truly horrendous, it's often the away-from-home incidents that bring you right to the edge. This brings us to one of our pet peeves, the automatic flush toilet found in many public restrooms. Good luck telling a small child to stay on a toilet that lets out a terrifying roar as soon she places her little bottom on the seat. On one such occasion Stacie abandoned the stall and took her distraught daughter to pee in the sink. Granted, it was not her proudest moment as a mother, but you, too, will be amazed at the creative and shameless lengths you will go to as you deal with an in-training toddler.
- Patience. Patience. Patience. You've been parenting for a couple of years now, so you know that a little bit of patience goes a long way. Don't rush your child. We know you are dying to ditch those diapers but if you force your child before he or she is ready you will be potty training forever, or at least, it will feel that way. If your child is resisting all your ploys, pull back, or even take a complete break for a couple of months. We bet -- we can't promise, but we bet, your child will figure it out before that acceptance letter from Harvard arrives in the mail.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Mark Jakubec 6-16-2009 @ 5:00PM
I was first of seven children. We have 6. Our method was to put the kids on the toilet seat backwards. They felt safer and had the seat to hold on too if needed. Worked for us. Thanks.
Reply