Kate Gosselin Caught Spanking Daughter - On Camera
Categories: Celeb Parenting, Behaving Badly
Kate Gosselin believes in spanking -- do you? Photo credit: Getty Images.
The spanking took place after 5-year-old Leah refused to stop blowing on a whistle while her mother talked on the phone. That's when the "Jon & Kate Plus 8" star became "enraged," according to a witness quoted in "InTouch Weekly," and lost her temper. Gosselin allegedly got up from the chair she sat in and spanked the child in front of the cameras.
"The girl was screaming and crying. Kate just pushed her away and walked off with her coffee. Her older sisters were trying to make Leah feel better," the anonymous witness says. Gosselin, whose image is rather tarnished these days, declared publicly that how she disciplines her children -- on camera or in private -- is her business.
Let's be honest: Being a parent is hard work. And sometimes? You run out of patience. I know this from personal experience. More than once, my fingers have itched to grab a tiny arm just a wee bit harder than necessary. Kate Gosselin has her hands full: Twins, sextuplets and a marriage in media meltdown. Any long-time "Jon & Kate" fan knows that she's wound a little bit tight to begin with, so I can only imagine how short her fuse must be these days.
That said, I am firmly opposed to spanking or hitting children as a form of discipline. My own parents only spanked me once, and I don't think any of us have recovered yet. And if I was the subject of intense media scrutiny? You bet your bippy I'd be keeping my hands to myself.
What do you think about Kate's latest media snafu? Is spanking flat-out wrong, or are we just judging her because she was caught on film doing it?
Kate Gosselin of Jon and Kate Plus 8
Rumors are swirling about Jon and Kate Gosselin's marriage. Is it over? Or is this just the stuff of reality TV? It's hard to know what's true, but it's even harder to look away.
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Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you had one more child? How about two more? How about SIX more?
Four years ago, Jon and Kate Gosselin went from being parents of two to parents of eight, and their lives have never been the same.
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Today we all have a window into that life on TLC's Jon and Kate Plus 8. And of course, part of peeking into someone else's life is hypothesizing how we might do things differently or better, because it's always easy to imagine what you would do in someone else's shoes.
What is harder to imagine is what it would really be like to walk in those other shoes -- what's it like to wake up every morning and be Kate Gosselin? ParentDish had a chance to ask her just that recently.
TLC.Discovery.com
In a normal week, the Gosselins have a television crew in their house about half the time, which is a lot, if you think about it. And while they will occasionally opt out of filming specific moments with their kids, the Gosselins have no editorial control over the show -- what you see is what you get, packaged by a team of folks at Discovery and TLC. But, Kate says, this is reality TV, and it accurately reflects life at the Gosselin house; nothing is pre-planned or made up. "We don't have time to memorize scripts," she jokes.
I believe that.
"We set out to show the truth," Kate says, "I couldn't watch it if it weren't true." What you see, in every televised moment, is precisely what is happening -- no stage directions or do-overs. This is life at the Gosselin house.
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Kate Gosselin has gotten quite a bit of flak, both from the media and from viewers, for the way she treats her husband; the two are often shown bickering during the show. Kate says the criticisms don't bother her; she doesn't Google herself or make a practice of reading about herself on or off line. "Everyone has an opinion," she says, "and I'm only paying attention to my own." But she does admit that the way the show is edited affects how people see her family and her marriage. "If Jon and I have three spats over a two day period, they're going to edit it to make it look like those happened in the 22 minute period." The show is just a small slice of her family's life, after all.
TLC.Discovery.com
Kate is clearly focused not on what goes on outside her family but on her children. Her goal, she says, is to treat each child like an only child -- a hard thing to do when you're the mom of eight. "I hold myself to a very high standard," she says. At the same time, though, she's not trying to be perfect, or even to appear perfect to viewers of the show. She's just living her life.
And yes, she's living it with television cameras in her house, but it's still her real life. Kate says that while the experience of being on television has changed her life, it hasn't changed who she is. She says the same about having eight children -- "It's hard to live through what we have lived through and not change. We are the same -- it's how people treat us" that is different.
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One of the hardest things about her family, Kate says, is the noise; there are days when the older girls, Cara and Mady, come home from school and their reports about what they have done are drowned out by the noise of the sextuplets. More than anything, she says, she longs for peace and quiet -- otherwise, she would not change a thing about her life.
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Kate finds the humor in her life -- recently, she partnered with P&G to help promote some of their brands, including Bounty paper towels, which she refers to as "my weapon of choice." She also laughs about the end of nap time at the Gosselin house; the sextuplets are four now and no one, Kate says, naps any more. But it's a rare night that the family gets through dinner without someone dozing off at the table. Recently, Jon said, "I think we can kiss goodbye ever having a family dinner again." A good night, Kate said, is when the kids push their plates out of the way before they fall asleep.
You have to laugh about that, and Kate Gosselin does.
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The Gosselins have a strong faith in God; they are often seen on the show wearing t-shirts with scripture on them and attending church. But despite the fact that the show doesn't highlight their faith, the Gosselins see it as an opportunity to share what they believe. Their website, The Gosselin 10, includes prayers and devotionals, and Jon and Kate travel around speaking to various churches and groups about their life and faith. The show, Kate says, has given them this opportunity to share what they believe.
Amazon.com
And for the Gosselins, being on television is about opportunity, not fame. The show has opened a variety of doors for them; Kate and Jon both work from home, which makes their life as parnents of eight more manageable. But it's not easy by any means -- there are days, Kate says, when she and Jon work until midnight.
Kate has three pieces of advice for other parents. "Every morning, before my feet hit the floor," she says, "I pray for strength, just enough to get through that day." She reminds parents that a sense of humor can get you through nearly everything -- laugh, she says, don't cry. And finally, the most important lesson of all: "Always remember that bedtime comes, every single day."
sixgosselins.com
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 4)
Inger 6-18-2009 @ 11:39AM
Here we go again with the spanking debate...
Reply
POV 6-23-2009 @ 1:27PM
8 "me 1st" kids, paparazzi, tabloids, and a Korean playboy diamond earred, soon to be EX husband, and a kid blowing a whistle in your ear.
Maybe YOU never smacked your kid or lost control and started screaming, but I'm betting that YOUR kid is the one who is probably the whiny pain in the butt that is allowed to terrorize the rest of us.
The only BAD decision here is the one that puts this stressed family on TV.
angie 6-27-2009 @ 4:53AM
I think everyone needs to leave that family alone..yes I know they are on tv. But these are not actors they are a real family with at the moment so many troubles!! I dont see anything wrong with spanking & I agree the pic people were probably thrilled about the pics they got! I just wish that family could work thru this more privately even thou they still do have a reality show! I love that show, I have been watching it since it started & I was honestly so upset to hear they were separating & getting a divorce! My heart goes out to kate for having to be a single mom of 8 kids 6 who are toddlers! I cant believe people have the nerve to act like she deserves what shes getting is because she is the way she is!
Christy 7-08-2009 @ 10:38AM
I have never weighed in on any blog before, but I thought the original author needed some support. While I agree that parents should have the right to "discipline" their child we need to learn the definition of discipline. It is to teach and train. It is how we "punish" children that is a problem. Be honest, a spanking is punishment, meant only to stop a behavior for that moment, not teach or train anything, except maybe not to get caught next time. If your neighbor was blowing a whistle in your ear while you spoke on the phone and you hit them, it would be assault and battery for which you could be charged. Why do we hold lower standards for our own children?
roadrage 7-03-2009 @ 1:30PM
it anoys me when someone is trying to spank a child through a diaper. they hit very hard thinking they have to to get through the diaper. come on people... lift the pant leg and sting the leg with an open hand yes it leaves a red mark but that goes away soon. you dont have to hit them hard just sting. i did this with my children when they where in diapers and now i never have to my kids are 7 and 10 neather have been spanked since they where about 5 now i just tell them do you want a spanking and they snap to..i have never even spanked them hard enough to make them cry just hard enough to get there attention and it works great. trust me i dont care what the law is if i spank now i dont bail out latter.
jacob 7-03-2009 @ 1:13PM
I would never beat a child but id spank all day, if need be. I dont think kids learn from the 15min time out. The reason kids are so disrespetful these days is because the lack of discipline. If I talk back to my parents I get a good smack across the face. People talk about the good old days when everybody respected each other and had a jolly ol time, thats because they were disciplined as kids to be respectful to the people around them. For all those who say spaking is the easy way out you couldnt be any more wrong. No good parent likes to see there kid cry. The easy way out is to et em on the couch for a time out. Not whipping only hurts your childs future.
Ann 6-18-2009 @ 12:05PM
"My own parents only spanked me once, and I don't think any of us have recovered yet." Really??? Grow up!
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J 7-03-2009 @ 4:26AM
"My own parents only spanked me once, and I don't think any of us have recovered yet."
I usually don't write my opinion on places like this but this sentence made me think what a Weak person you must be....Only being spanked once and not recovering?? What are you talking about...You got spanked because you were probably being a big pain in the @$$, after you cried for a little bit you should be over it. Its weak sensitive people like you that are ruining our country.
Carin 7-03-2009 @ 11:34AM
yeah that person needs to grow up, I was spanked YIPPEE THANK YOU MOM AND DAD oh anyway atleast we behave ourselves in public and private are not rude to others and oh yeah my kids get spanked when they are rude every single time. Those fits in stores that are annoying when kids are screaming because they did not get candy or a toy and the parent just ignores it, not mine they get spanked and all that does is HURTS THEIR FEELINGS. A little stinging on the backside is a reminder and a warning that US PARENTS ARE IN CONTROL.
Kimberly 7-12-2009 @ 3:11AM
I agree with Ann!!!! You need to grow up! If you were only spanked once and still not over it as an adult you probably have a tremendous problem in the real world! I think the majority of the "Baby Boomer" generation were spanked when needed both at home and in school and grew to be well adjusted respectful adults!
Thanks Mom and Dad!!!
Jan 8-30-2009 @ 1:16PM
None of you have recovered? OMGosh! That really made me laugh! I was spanked many, many times growing up and I was over it within minutes! Please. I also spanked my kids when needed and they are all just fine and really good people.
LS 6-18-2009 @ 12:46PM
This post sums up one of the biggest problems with our society today... "Oh, dear, I can't discipline my children in an effective manner because SOMEONE ELSE might not like it."
I don't watch this show. I don't even have cable, so the only thing I know about them is what I try to avoid here and on tabloids at the grocery - which is a herculean task. But I do know this...
Every parent has the right - and the responsibility - to discipline their children in an effective manner. Some parents refuse to so much as raise their voices, while others go immediately to the spank. MOST parents are doling out the discipline with thought and love, and yes, sometimes, they are just reacting.
But when we go immediately to the extreme... "I am firmly opposed to spanking or hitting children as a form of discipline"... it is undermining the efforts of parents who do spank.
Why? Because any time someone disciplines in a way that "society" has deemed 'inappropriate", that parent is looking over his/her shoulder, waiting to be arrested and have the children snatched away, and placed into "protective" (often far more neglectful and abusive) custody.
Based only on what I read in this story, I feel for Kate. If the child was really refused to stop blowing a whistle while mom was on the phone, then perhaps a spanking WAS in order. And I'm sorry.... placing credibility with an "anonymous witness" who said that she "became enraged"? Who is this 'anonymous witness'? Someone who knows the mom intimately? Or just some joker who watched and formed an opinion?
Parents are allowed to have a temper. Parents should be able to discipline their children. And yes, some parents spank their kids. Doesn't make them abusers.
And if you haven't gotten over one little spanking from when you were a kid? Wow, you really need to get a grip. Life is gonna throw a helluva lot bigger crap at you than that.
Reply
rasc 6-18-2009 @ 1:22PM
Well said. I am a mother of a 3 yr old girl who can be a handful sometimes. And yes I have resorted to a spanking when all else fails. We are human at the end of the day and we also havea limited amount of patience. Kids need to be disciplined PERIOD.
Wow if you only got spanked once and you still haven't gotten over it. You are in for a world of a surprise with the real world.
As for Kate: I just started watching the show after all the media she's been getting, and the fact that she can smile at the end or the beginning of the day with 8 kids. Holy crap!! good for her. She's allowed to loose her temper and the media blowing a spanking out of proportion speaks volumes about the media.
Karen 6-19-2009 @ 4:11PM
Spanking to teach your child a lesson is discipline. Spanking because you lose your temper is abuse. If you don't know the difference, keep your hands to yourself.
Poi 6-24-2009 @ 12:22AM
Amen, Revrend! I'm not in favor of abuse, but there are times when a good spanking *is* in order. And as to the idea of a parent having to look over their shoulder when it's time to discipline a child, It's completely rediculous. My parents, particularly my father, wouldn't have given a whit to what anyone thought if either of them felt one of their children needed a good swat on the bottom. And please dare get in Dad's face and say he was wrong to spank one of his kids. You'd be warned and if you didn't back off then, you'd get just exactly what the kid got, and in my opinion, whole-heartedly deserved for poking your nose into someone else's business.
That's what is wrong with this country now. Children are no longer taught to respect their elders nor to face consequences of their actions. They're let go with a slap on the wrist. I do wish some of these brats today had grown up with my parents. Not only would the people around them have been better off, so would they.
I seem to be my friends' and families' favorite babysitter for some reason. And in dealing with their children, I follow a simple philosophy: If I tell you to do something, I expect you to do it; likewise, if I tell you *not* to do something, I expect you *not* to do it. Disobey me and you will face the consequences, whatever they may be, as each situation requires different consequences. I'm not mean to them, I'm not a dictator, but I do mean business, and they know it.
I think John Wayne put it best in the movie "Big Jake" in dealing with his disrespectful grown son (and I'm paraphrasing since I can't remember the exact words): "You may not respect your elders, but you *will* respect your betters" right before knocking him off a horse. That may sound a little too violent for some folks, but one thing to remember: the son leaned not to give dear-old Dad much trouble after that.
h-palmer 6-25-2009 @ 3:34PM
She should have taken the whistle away. There is NEVER any need to physically discipline a child. Yes, discipline needs to be consistant and effective, but I have raised my three calm, funny, happy high-achieving kids without ever hitting them. Sure I sometimes felt like I wanted to, but I didn't because I know violence is never the right way. Call it what you like, dress it up any way you want, but in the end it is hitting and I personally don't do it. My kids have always listened to me, respected me and I'm told by others what genuinely nice people they are. It takes time, patience and effective discipline to achieve this........not the quick-fix hitting that lazy parents try and justify.
Maria 7-03-2009 @ 6:23AM
Thank you!!!! Perfectly said!!!
Maria 7-03-2009 @ 6:35AM
I'm referring to LS's comment by the way . . .
Glynda 7-03-2009 @ 12:19PM
I totally agree! I am not much of a "Reality Show" watcher at all and don't watch this show either. I too only know of it because of the hype and publicity. In fact I didn't even know who Jon & Kate were until about a month ago when my daughter-in-law and son told me about them.
First and foremost I am 48 years old and have four kids, 3 from a 1st marriage (a now 31 yr old son and twins now 29 (son & daughter), 1 (17 yr old daughter) from my current marriage of 19 years and 6 years ago we took on raising my great niece and nephew (twins now 8 yrs old).
I am the youngest of 4,with 2 brothers and a sister. We were raised by a single mother who married 4 times before we had a father figure in our life for more than a couple years at a time. Mother didn't really spanked us like with her hand or belt that much. We gotted swatted with the back of a hairbrush or her slipper and smacked in the mouth when we were disrespectful or said inappropriate words. Now, Nannie on the other hand, believed "Spare the rod spoil the child"! She helped raise us in between mother's marriages and sent us to get a switch off the tree. You remember....old school discipline! To this day, Mother believes "hitting begets hitting".
I have been a mom since I was 16 years old and have always disciplined with the theory of 3 strikes and your out. I will warn 2 times (verbal or time out or something like that) then the 3rd time is a spanking. When we went through our home evaluation to obtain custody of the twins I told this to the social worker. All my kids who are grown also told this to the social worker.
Don't get me wrong - I am only human! And do lose control sometimes. All these yahoos who think they can stay calm and reason with their children more power to you! But, even those who don't believe in spanking still loose control - I HAVE WITNESSED IT! You may be so in public but get in the four walls of your own home and you are totally different. And all these other yahoos don't even have children - ya'll just wait - you will change your minds! My 28 year old son said he would never spank his chld! LOL Ask him now after having two kids if he spanks. Too bad for his oldest son that he didn't discipline with a firm hand the first 3 years - he's been a handful to get back on track.
So, everyone just leave this poor Kate alone. She too is only human! Her fault for exposing herself to the public. There are many other ways she and her husband could have funded raising their children than going this route. I need a healthier income myself. Maybe I could expose my family to the public. We are all the same!
And, I don't give a big #&*@ if anyone in public sees me spank my child anywhere in public. As long as I am not totally abusing the child it's my business!
Spare the rod spoil the child! I never understood that biblical message until a couple of ladies from my Life Group explained it to me this way....If you spare (don't use) the rod the child will spoil (like food left unrefrigerated). The child will become ROTTEN! That's were we get that term. Think about that all you yahoos who think passive discipline is the way. Some children can handle that and some cannot. But, the bible also says to RESPECT YOUR MOTHER AND FATHER! READ YOUR BIBLE PEOPLE - IT TELLS YOU HOW TO RAISE YOUR CHILDREN!
BTW, all my older children have their own children and they too believe in "a firm hand is loving discipline".
roadrage 7-03-2009 @ 1:31PM
trust me. my child would have gotten that leg stung real good for that. but of course at the age they are now they would never do that. the hard thing for me was the candy rack. they should put those up high. ive been kicked out of stores for refusing to pay for the candy they gave my children. my children arenot allowed candy but as im sure you have noticed the candy rack is right there where they can reach while you are busy. id like to spank the owner. if your not trying to break your child spank away.. but you should never strike your child in anger so dont wait do it b4 you get angry