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Kate Gosselin Caught Spanking Daughter - On Camera
Filed under: Celeb Parents
Kate Gosselin believes in spanking -- do you? Photo credit: Getty Images.
The spanking took place after 5-year-old Leah refused to stop blowing on a whistle while her mother talked on the phone. That's when the "Jon & Kate Plus 8" star became "enraged," according to a witness quoted in "InTouch Weekly," and lost her temper. Gosselin allegedly got up from the chair she sat in and spanked the child in front of the cameras.
"The girl was screaming and crying. Kate just pushed her away and walked off with her coffee. Her older sisters were trying to make Leah feel better," the anonymous witness says. Gosselin, whose image is rather tarnished these days, declared publicly that how she disciplines her children -- on camera or in private -- is her business.
Let's be honest: Being a parent is hard work. And sometimes? You run out of patience. I know this from personal experience. More than once, my fingers have itched to grab a tiny arm just a wee bit harder than necessary. Kate Gosselin has her hands full: Twins, sextuplets and a marriage in media meltdown. Any long-time "Jon & Kate" fan knows that she's wound a little bit tight to begin with, so I can only imagine how short her fuse must be these days.
That said, I am firmly opposed to spanking or hitting children as a form of discipline. My own parents only spanked me once, and I don't think any of us have recovered yet. And if I was the subject of intense media scrutiny? You bet your bippy I'd be keeping my hands to myself.
What do you think about Kate's latest media snafu? Is spanking flat-out wrong, or are we just judging her because she was caught on film doing it?
Kate Gosselin of Jon and Kate Plus 8
Rumors are swirling about Jon and Kate Gosselin's marriage. Is it over? Or is this just the stuff of reality TV? It's hard to know what's true, but it's even harder to look away.
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Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you had one more child? How about two more? How about SIX more?
Four years ago, Jon and Kate Gosselin went from being parents of two to parents of eight, and their lives have never been the same.
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Today we all have a window into that life on TLC's Jon and Kate Plus 8. And of course, part of peeking into someone else's life is hypothesizing how we might do things differently or better, because it's always easy to imagine what you would do in someone else's shoes.
What is harder to imagine is what it would really be like to walk in those other shoes -- what's it like to wake up every morning and be Kate Gosselin? ParentDish had a chance to ask her just that recently.
TLC.Discovery.com
In a normal week, the Gosselins have a television crew in their house about half the time, which is a lot, if you think about it. And while they will occasionally opt out of filming specific moments with their kids, the Gosselins have no editorial control over the show -- what you see is what you get, packaged by a team of folks at Discovery and TLC. But, Kate says, this is reality TV, and it accurately reflects life at the Gosselin house; nothing is pre-planned or made up. "We don't have time to memorize scripts," she jokes.
I believe that.
"We set out to show the truth," Kate says, "I couldn't watch it if it weren't true." What you see, in every televised moment, is precisely what is happening -- no stage directions or do-overs. This is life at the Gosselin house.
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Kate Gosselin has gotten quite a bit of flak, both from the media and from viewers, for the way she treats her husband; the two are often shown bickering during the show. Kate says the criticisms don't bother her; she doesn't Google herself or make a practice of reading about herself on or off line. "Everyone has an opinion," she says, "and I'm only paying attention to my own." But she does admit that the way the show is edited affects how people see her family and her marriage. "If Jon and I have three spats over a two day period, they're going to edit it to make it look like those happened in the 22 minute period." The show is just a small slice of her family's life, after all.
TLC.Discovery.com
Kate is clearly focused not on what goes on outside her family but on her children. Her goal, she says, is to treat each child like an only child -- a hard thing to do when you're the mom of eight. "I hold myself to a very high standard," she says. At the same time, though, she's not trying to be perfect, or even to appear perfect to viewers of the show. She's just living her life.
And yes, she's living it with television cameras in her house, but it's still her real life. Kate says that while the experience of being on television has changed her life, it hasn't changed who she is. She says the same about having eight children -- "It's hard to live through what we have lived through and not change. We are the same -- it's how people treat us" that is different.
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One of the hardest things about her family, Kate says, is the noise; there are days when the older girls, Cara and Mady, come home from school and their reports about what they have done are drowned out by the noise of the sextuplets. More than anything, she says, she longs for peace and quiet -- otherwise, she would not change a thing about her life.
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Kate finds the humor in her life -- recently, she partnered with P&G to help promote some of their brands, including Bounty paper towels, which she refers to as "my weapon of choice." She also laughs about the end of nap time at the Gosselin house; the sextuplets are four now and no one, Kate says, naps any more. But it's a rare night that the family gets through dinner without someone dozing off at the table. Recently, Jon said, "I think we can kiss goodbye ever having a family dinner again." A good night, Kate said, is when the kids push their plates out of the way before they fall asleep.
You have to laugh about that, and Kate Gosselin does.
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The Gosselins have a strong faith in God; they are often seen on the show wearing t-shirts with scripture on them and attending church. But despite the fact that the show doesn't highlight their faith, the Gosselins see it as an opportunity to share what they believe. Their website, The Gosselin 10, includes prayers and devotionals, and Jon and Kate travel around speaking to various churches and groups about their life and faith. The show, Kate says, has given them this opportunity to share what they believe.
Amazon.com
And for the Gosselins, being on television is about opportunity, not fame. The show has opened a variety of doors for them; Kate and Jon both work from home, which makes their life as parnents of eight more manageable. But it's not easy by any means -- there are days, Kate says, when she and Jon work until midnight.
Kate has three pieces of advice for other parents. "Every morning, before my feet hit the floor," she says, "I pray for strength, just enough to get through that day." She reminds parents that a sense of humor can get you through nearly everything -- laugh, she says, don't cry. And finally, the most important lesson of all: "Always remember that bedtime comes, every single day."
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ReaderComments (Page 4 of 4)
6-27-2009 @ 11:35AM
Amanda said...Personally, I would never hit my kids, but I'm not saying that other people can't. However, she was only blowing a whistle. Walk in the other direction if it's that annoying. She has eight kids, she should be used to a noisy background. Maybe if Leah was throwing a fullfledged temper tantrum it might be acceptable, but not for blowing a whistle while she's on the phone. Heaven forbid the phone be put down for two minutes.
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7-01-2009 @ 5:53PM
Jen said...Ok I am only in my thirties and I can remember when "spankings" were stil given out in school, and you better believe that if you got one at school that you were going to get one at home too. We were taught to respect what our elders told us.
I don't know if anyone else has noticed but we have now created this world where no one can give their children any kind of disipline without the worry that someone else will think they are wrong and take their kids away. Every child is different. Some do great with just an explanation of why what they did was wrong, but some need a little extra "help" learning between right and wrong. If used correctly a "spanking is just that. This does not mean that children who are given a spanking once in a while are abused.
If anyone has watched the show for any amount of time you see that Kate uses time outs very well, and for the most part her children are very well behaved, happy and obviously loved. They are not going to be scarred for life because of a spanking.
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7-03-2009 @ 2:05PM
Carin said...you are right people only care about what others think about them and that is where America is WRONG WRONG WRONG. It is just a big shame that those camers that follow them around all day didn't catch what happened. But since we were not there, we don't have the right to belittle Kate. Personnally I say she just needs the cameras to back off her life and give them some space for adjusting to changes that are taking place.
7-03-2009 @ 7:41AM
Maddi said...I'm not against spanking when it's needed, because sometimes if you don't, your kids grow up into those spoiled brats everyone hates. But I'm dead set against slapping your children or hitting them with sticks or belts, because speaking from personal experience, all it does is to teach your child to hate you. Even though it may seem they have forgiven and forgot, it's left a scar on them.
In this situation though (I mean, come on, all this over a whistle?), I think Kate was over reacting. She should've just taken the whistle away with a warning, or if she had chosen to spank Leah, not to walk away. Since Parents usually spank their children as a form of disipline, therefore they do that because they love their children. Walking away after you do so instead of explaining to them why or comforting them is just cruel.
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7-03-2009 @ 9:32AM
SKL said...The whole reason why this is a personal decision is that we don't know the history behind the "whistle" thing. All we know is that the child misbehaved once. What if that was the 5th time she did the same thing and the first 4 times she didn't learn from the "societally correct" discipline? And she'd been specifically warned that she'd get a spank next time? How can we judge without knowing what led up to the "incident"?
I have a daughter who often thinks I don't mean what I say unless I say it in a mean voice. I can say it 5 different ways in a calm voice, but ultimately I have to become a bitch. Then my kid acts all hurt. I can't tell you how many times I've explained: I don't like to raise my voice, but why didn't you listen the first 5 times I said the same thing? Same thing with spanking - I don't spank often, but when I do, it's always after plenty of warning. The child always knows exactly why she got spanked. But an outsider could draw all kinds of conclusions if they only saw the spank itself. I personally don't care, but I think it's unhealthy for our society to always look to find fault in a spanking parent.
7-03-2009 @ 7:46AM
jadub said...Spanking? A form of abuse? Abuse!! Get real! How about a punch in the face, maybe a kick to the head? Now that's abuse. There has been more school massacre since physical discipline has been deemed unnecessary by some parents and schools. When kids act up all we have to do is talk them down and then they are good as gold. I say bull!!
These children have a 2nd grade or less level of understanding, some kids even while they're in the 5th grade. I have yet seen a parent talk to their kids about hot stoves or power tools or electrical outlets and the child learned from it. I have seen more parents remove every piece of property from rooms in order for a child not to pick it up and stick it in their mouths, kiss a child's finger AFTER it got burned, and smack their hands when they picked up something that could do them harm.
Association, that's how kids learn. If you can figure out how to be able to leave a knife, marble or earing on the table tell your kid not to touch it, and it works, you have just solved the worlds problems. Write a book. Other than that, shut up and let people raise their children the way they see fit. If our children become productive individuals in society, we have done our job as parents, get off our back.
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7-03-2009 @ 11:22AM
jane said...Kate is not a role model for young mothers today!
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7-03-2009 @ 11:33AM
Anna said...I know my mother use to tan my butt soo bad when i back talked or even swore.. I think children these days have no discipline and they think thier parents are a big joke and do what they want like drink smoke and swear and are out at the age of 13 wandering the streets at night. I would not even dare to do things like that at the age of some of the girl and boys that i see wandering the streets at night. My mom would tan my but sooo bad!! I think that my generation and generations before may have some bad apples but for the majority of us we are respectful to our elders and aren't as coky as some of these teens these days.. I say SPANK YOUR KIDS!!
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7-03-2009 @ 1:25PM
Carin said...Any one see the show on the Duggarts, nice family with 18 kids the eldest just got married, they do a buddy system where the older kids help mom with younger children. Now that woman has patience and that is something that NOT everyone has. She just talks to her kids on their level and i have tried this and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. But I will spank my child behind doors and in public and if anyone has any complaints and if anyone wants to turn me in well fine they can, I will strip my child down and show that there are NOT any bruises. And to top that off i will tell them I have spoken to a CPS worker in front of two cops about this matter and I was told that they consider it abuse if you hit more than THREE (COUNT THAT THREE) times consecutive.
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7-03-2009 @ 1:29PM
roadrage said...nancy..... child care provider... dont ever spank my child thats my job.. you can call me 24-7 and ill spank if i think its needed
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7-03-2009 @ 1:28PM
Carin said...AMEN!!!!!!! TO THAT ONE
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7-03-2009 @ 4:52PM
HollyJ said...I think everyone that is giving Kate grief for spanking their child is ignorant and needs to pull their head out of their ass. There is nothing wrong with punishing your child with a spank on the butt. All growing up, my parents spanked me and my siblings and it taught us to obey and respect our father and mother. And thats how it should be. I didn't grow up feeling abused and hating my parents.
If kate was telling her daughter multiple times to stop blowing the whistle and her disobedient, disrespectful child wouldn't listen then i think it's good she spanked her.
The only thing i would argue with is the fact that she did it in public where obviously she would be seen and ofcourse the press would have a field day with it.
I mean, don't get me wrong, i think kate seems like a total bitch on her show but i still think there is nothing wrong with spanking your child. There is a difference between spanking a kid and "abusing" a kid... smacking your child in the face is completely different than spanking their butt.
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7-27-2009 @ 10:20PM
PDeverit said...Child buttock-battering for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit.
Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit.
I think the reason why television shows like "Supernanny" and "Dr. Phil" are so popular is because that is just what many (not all) people are trying to do.
There are several reasons why child buttock-battering isn't a good idea.
Here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals:
Plain Talk About Spanking
by Jordan Riak
The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
by Tom Johnson
NO VITAL ORGANS THERE, So They Say
by Lesli Taylor M.D. and Adah Maurer Ph.D.
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7-27-2009 @ 10:37PM
PDeverit said...Most compelling of all reasons to abandon this worst of all bad habits is the fact that buttock-beating can be unintentional sexual abuse for some children. There is an abundance of educational literature available on the subject that can easily be found by doing some quick research on the topic.
A handful of those raising awareness of why child buttock-battering isn't a good idea:
American Academy of Pediatrics
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry
Center For Effective Discipline
PsycHealth Ltd Behavioral Health Professionals
Churches Network For Non-Violence
Archbishop Desmond Tutu (supports Global Initiative)
Parenting In Jesus' Footsteps
Global Initiative To End All Corporal Punishment of Children
United Nations Convention On the Rights of the Child
Countries where child buttock-battering is prohibited by law: Sweden, Finland, Norway, Austria, Cyprus, Italy, Denmark, Latvia, Croatia, Bulgaria, Germany, Israel, Iceland, Ukraine, Romania, Hungary, Greece, Netherlands, New Zealand, Portugal, Uruguay, Venezuela, Chile, Spain, Costa Rica, Republic of Moldova, and more in process.
In fact the only UN member that did not sign the Convention on the Rights of the Child was the US.
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7-28-2009 @ 1:03AM
SKL said...American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry
Center For Effective Discipline
PsycHealth Ltd Behavioral Health Professionals
Etc....
******************
This is great - if people could just pop their kids' butts when the time is right, we wouldn't have a need for all this baby-psycho-BS. Naturally these organizations don't want you to spank - you'd be putting them out of business.
Oh, and the "Rights of the Child" include the right to be aborted if you are not planned. I wouldn't have signed it either. The UN believes abortion is preferable to adoption. The UN is anti-American and frankly we should have quit and kicked their headquarters (and hindquarters) out decades ago.
7-28-2009 @ 1:07AM
SKL said...Oh, and have you ever actually read the "convention on the rights of the child" and compared it to what is done to children in just about every country that has signed it? Has it protected the world's children from abuse, prostitution, illiteracy, getting their dinner from garbage dumps? Gosh, at least those kids don't have the misfortune of being raised in the US.
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1-20-2010 @ 2:13AM
neverno said...I am amazed that in 2009/2010 we haven't evolved enough to understand that taking a hand to a child , for any reason, is violent. I was raised w/corporal punishment. Did it effect the rest of my life - yes . The result, I have never raised a hand to a child. Have I at the heat of the moment wanted to..yes. I've taken a breath, even walked away. It's not discipline, but the parent letting out their frustration and anger. Nice lesson to teach the child and how to handle anger. Not to mention, the hand of a parent should always be about loving touch not hurt.
To those who have said, "it only happened once and I learned", is either not being honest or an exception. Kids are in constant state of lifes journey, rarely learning first or second time. Why - because they are kids/innocense.
To those who have said,"the problem with this new generation/parent who won't spank/hit is why we have problems w/these kids today", is absolute crap. How ignorant. So many social/political/religious factors change attitudes, thus generations. I know, not a couple, but numerous parents who have never taken a hand, belt ,etc. to their children and have kind, loving, ethical and good citizen children. Honestly, get an education...time-out does work, even w/a 2 yr. old. It just takes consistent patience and energy.
Am I now forever a scarred adult because of spanking... no. Do I love my parents...yes. The lesson I learned, even 40 years later, was their brand of parenting didn't make me respect them or never do it again rather make me afraid of them. It should never be a legacy to leave with our children.
Kate, get off the money-making, so important phone call and teach your child verbally, time-out, or taking away.
Peace....
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