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Showboating Grad Denied Diploma
Filed under: Opinions
School comes down hard on gleeful graduate. Image: Sara Haj-Hassan/sxc.hu
Such is the case at Bonny Eagle High School in Standish, Maine where the class of 2009 received their diplomas last Friday. Before taking the stage, the graduates and their families agreed to follow the rules or risk being denied a diploma. But when Justin Denney's name was called, he couldn't resist a bit of showing off and took a bow and blew a kiss to his mother. Was that disruptive behavior? Superintendent Suzanne Lukas thought so and sent him away sans diploma.
Sound harsh? Justin's mother thinks so. "There was no misbehavior. Showboating is not misbehavior," Mary Denney says. "A bow, a kiss to your mom is not misbehavior. There was no need of my son not getting his diploma."
Mary Denney believes her son son paid the price for the misbehavior of some other students. Those students were tossing beach balls around at least one belligerent senior was escorted by police out of the auditorium. When the beach ball tossing continued, a frustrated Lukas warned that there might be other students who would not received diplomas.
And then along came Justin, bowing and blowing kisses. When he reached Lukas, he says she informed him that there was no fooling around allowed on stage and asked him why he felt he deserved a diploma. Despite his answer that he had worked hard and earned his diploma, she withheld it and told him to take his seat.
Of course there are always three sides to every story, but Mary Denney is adamant that her son was treated unfairly. "It's a once-in-a-lifetime event. It's like a wedding, it's like a birth. There's no do-overs. She stole his once-in-a-lifetime dream of graduating high school with pride and honor and she squashed it and left him feeling humiliated in front of the entire high school," she says.
Of course, she is right -- what's done is done. But while the school says Justin will eventually receive his diploma, do you think he's due an apology as well?
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
6-19-2009 @ 3:02PM
Angela said...I have an idea, instead of whining because your son was singled out, teach him to OBEY THE RULES!! Then you won't have to worry about things like his diploma being withheld.
Reply
6-19-2009 @ 3:42PM
james bell said...Go screw yourself socialist! individuality is what makes us americans, once you fufill your academic requirements your graduated, for anyone to think they can tell peple how to act other then violence against others. Everything ekse is uo toi us the do not have the conrol we do and need to fight for it
6-19-2009 @ 5:41PM
summer said...Hey Angela, Are you a mother? I can bet that having a child receiving his diploma is an amazing experience. I know my parents had tears in their eyes when I got mine. It a sign of achievement especially in a world were so many young ones drop out and follow the wrong path. We should still have a respect for those who worked hard enough to pass and get enough credits and graduate. And when my baby grows up and decides to blow me a kiss on stage as a sign of respect towards me (Kind of like a "I did it MOM!”) I will be just as proud as any other mother would be. I find it wrong for bitter sour women to find ways to embarrass someone for their own sick and selfish gratification.
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6-20-2009 @ 6:49PM
Angela said...Yes, I am a mother who had parents that taught me that there is a time and place for everything. I am trying to teach my children the same. I won't apologize for making the comment that I made. I believe that the heart of the issue is what has become a flagrant disrespect for the rules and mores that govern our society. The generation that is coming along have gotten the idea that the rules simply don't apply to them. They have to apply sometime. If everyone walks around with the idea that the rules don't apply to them then you have a society that will fall into anarchy.
I'm not a sour and bitter person and my parents were extremely proud to see me walk across the field when I graduated. The point I'm trying to make is that the respect you mention comes in many different forms--but it has to start somewhere and we as parents have to be the teachers of that respect. Not a buddy who frets and moans everytime our children get their feelings hurt. Our job should be to teach them how to handle the situation and the lesson that they have learned for the next time and there will be a next time. I want my children to be able to handle their problems successfully when I'm not around. Not run to me to fix it because I haven't taught them how.
6-19-2009 @ 4:12PM
Alis said...There is absolutely no reason for this boy to not get his diploma. I graduated in '06 and there was plenty of beach ball throwing and people dancing across the stage. Everyone was excited, so let them have their excitement!!
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6-19-2009 @ 4:19PM
SKL said...I think this was dumb, but why do these dumb, unimportant moments always seem to make national news? Who really cares? If that's the worst thing that kid ever experienced at school, lucky him. Get over it and grow up.
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6-19-2009 @ 4:57PM
Heather said...Back in my day disruptive behavior included things like tossing beach balls, letting of firecrackers, blowing airhorns during the speaches... not blowing a kiss to mom. In fact, I find it sweet that he wanted to acknowlege his mother for her help in getting him to this point in his life. Probably not what he or anyone else had in mind when they agreed to not misbehave. Are these kids supposed to march expressionless across the stage like robots without giving any kind of indication that this is a CELEBRATION??? Come on! How about if we "adults" use some common sense!
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6-19-2009 @ 5:16PM
Karen said...Graduation is a ceremony, not a celebration, which is why the school thinks it is justified in withholding the diploma. The celebration comes at the close of the ceremony, not in the middle. "Please hold your applause until the end" sort of thing.
That being said, I would be PISSED if the school withheld my child's diploma for anything short of mooning. Waving and mugging is not misbehavior; it's perhaps short of appropriate for a ceremony, but should not be grounds for this type of sanction. Angela, it only is fair to hold someone accountable for disobeying the rules if the person actually does something explicitly forbidden by those rules, and that does not seem to be the case here.
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6-19-2009 @ 5:56PM
Karen said...The kid will get his diploma, just not when everyone else did.
But I just got back from a long drawn out boring college graduation. Thank GOD for the disruptions or I would have rolled over and died.
It may be a ceremony - and obviously it can't get too out of hand, but mostly this is about the organizers wanting to exert control.
The only thing NOT fair is a disruption that keeps the next name from being heard -- everything else is fine with me.
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6-20-2009 @ 12:50AM
bremarie03 said...Do they want automatons? Are we supposed to be raising Stepford kids who never show emotion, be it good or bad? God, these kids just ran a four year gauntlet of hell called high school; let them celebrate a little.
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6-20-2009 @ 5:34AM
damoki said...Like lots of stuff, this was a judgment call. With limited information, I think the reaction to the bow and kiss was excessive. It was a warm gesture to mom, but passing the limits so many schools erect: cutting the parent out. Sad.
However, I agree with Karen's comment about disruptions spoiling the announcement of names. My son's graduation was one rah-rah session after another by the families of too many kids which caused the parents of the next kid to miss his name... so much for their celebration.
Once again, the parents set a bad example: excited, and yes they should celebrate, but not at the expense of the same benefit for others. That, and time constraints have caused many schools to become dictatorial. If my son's school had waited for each familial uproar to subside before the next name was announced, my bedtime would have come and long gone before it was over.
As for the bow and kiss kid, and others who express moments of individuality, which rather than disrupt, enhance the proceedings... good for them, maybe they actually learned something in the gauntlet.
DaMoKi
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6-20-2009 @ 5:49AM
damoki said...Hey, James Bell (#2), do you know a doctor... maybe he could get you a prescription for that manic state in which you appear to be stuck. Not sure what you can do about your spelling or keyboard deficiencies. Good luck with that!
I thought Angela (#1) did miss the point, but calling her names didn't break any bones, if you know what I mean... I doubt if she is a Socialist, possibly a republican, but definitely a strict parent.
DaMoKi
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6-21-2009 @ 9:25AM
Justin said...Hello Ms. Lukas,
I would just like to point your attention to such sites as www.parentdish.com and basically all of the local media websites over your behavior and treatment of the incident at the graduation ceremonies.
I would simply like to extend to you my personal opinion that your actions absolutely disgusted me as well as caused an extreme embarrassment to the school board. It is my greatest hopes that the parents and family of the graduate personally sue you and the school board for the emotional damage you have caused someone during a once-in-a-lifetime event that they will never see again. You personally destroyed that chance for this graduate, only because of your close-minded selfish need to flex an authoritative muscle you simply don’t know how to use. Congratulations, you alone ruined the graduation by your actions.
Justin
parentdish.com reader, Canada.
…Just another sad and sick example of ignorant school administration in action… And these are the people we entrust with our children’s futures and well being.
This is a sad world indeed… And you contributed to it perfectly.
========================================
Feel free to copy and paste and send it to her. Her email can be found on the school board website.
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6-22-2009 @ 10:33AM
allen said...might as well sue the school. although.... you know that there had to have been someone who did something really disruptive the previous year for the school to crack down like that. They always go overboard the next time. does this school still give detention for gum chewing? on the converse side. if you know that the school is being anal that year, why not just walk up get your diploma and then bow and kiss to your mom? follow the rules until they can't take what you earned and then do what you want.. (thinking like a teenager i know but....). well. i'm sure the school board is now getting leaned on to make sure that nothing like this happens again and that the next time these officials contracts are up, they are going to have to do some serious butt-kissing if they want to stay. i think everyone involved is a moron. schools over reacting, kids not just doing what they are friggin told, parents crying about the whole thing..... morons. grow up, your all adults.... act like it.
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