'Wife' School - Would You Send Your Daughter?

This a new "charm school", finishing school", "etiquette class"...there is nothing wrong with this.We are raising someones future wife,and I think we need to bring back values and morals...kids these days are punks! Piercings,tats,they way they dress and act! We need manners, and GOD!!!!! And good old fashoned ways,like rules,punishments,curfews and rewards!

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I think you are all missing the point, and have only glossed the surface on this "camp". The point is that the art of being respectful, being a good host, being tactful etc. is lost among many. Nowhere do I see that this "camp" is trying to brainwash women back into indentured servanthood, the founder of the camp is a successful artist in her own right. Just because I plan a dinner party, cook the meal myself, place flowers on the table, and have respect for the people in my home does not make me a relic from the middle ages. I am a full-time working mother of 2 who enjoys having people over to her house, serve them a great meal in the process and make them feel welcome. This does not mean I serve my family meals in bed or wait on them hand and foot. Being a good host or hostess is a matter of respect for MEN AND WOMEN!

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I have to disagree with a lot of you on this one. I don't think that it is just to make them into a housewife and I think it is degrating to women everywhere for you to think that it's such a bad thing to be a housewife. A housewife often brings up smarter, more dependent children then those that are at a day care of some sort and I'm pretty sure there is also less children brought up by stay at home moms that go to jail. I think that this program or camp is a great thing for children that want to grow up to be a buisness person or housewife. Do you think that you only do dinner at your house? At your own house isn't when it's a "big deal", but at other's or a buisness affair. I think that parents should teach this stuff, but whether they teach it or not I think that a different setting with other kids their age would build their confidence too. I think it's great teach the girls to be ladies (not wife) and the boys to be gentlemen.

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I grew up with a single parent and would of loved even the time to learn how to set place settings. I think this school should not get so much heat for trying to teach girls commonly used skills that they might not ever be exposed to especially if they are the daughter of a single father. Is dad going to show you how to put your make up on?

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When Kobe Bryant was accused of making advances on a girl in a hotel, they discovered she'd worn the same pair of underwear for six days. Babies die because they aren't fed proper nutrition, or are shaken or abused. There are plenty of kids that get no direction or correction. They don't learn how to do even the basics in their home. It used to be that the family, neighbors, schools and churches all worked together to reinforce modesty, manners, and other good habits.
This school is a good first step. My guess is that it will teach girls how to pick a good man in the first place so they don't end up as floor mats. And what's wrong with a girl wanting to be a wife or mother? I really hate the feminist bigotry against women that don't fit into their mold like Sarah Palin saying she's not a "real" woman.

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No, I don't think that we need "make over programs". We have that still, its called finishing school. That was really popular about 3 to 4 decades ago. Not now. Not since the 60s. Why do you think women started burning their bras and girl power exploded all over western society.
If you want the "kids" to act appropriately then the parents need to teach them by example. If the parents aren't as fluent in manners then, if you want your kids to have those missing manners and more civilized behaviors, then the entire family needs to go to a "make over class" together. Because just having your daughter or even son do it isn't going to help. One year with Mom and Dad doing the same stuff the kids grew up with is going to just lead them back to acting as they had before. Its simple logic.
Its like eating healthy. You can't tell the kids to eat healthy all the time and give them noting but healthy stuff and eat ice cream yourself on a nightly basis or junk food and expect them not to want that yummy stuff too. They start to get the idea that they are being treated unfairly and they want act like you.. get the same things you get. Kids aren't stupid.. but the whole thing about letting them get away with growing up as the rest of the world thinks they should or acts, isn't going to cut it. I mean, I almost don't want to bring ny niece and nephew to Chucky Cheeses because the way most of the kids act these days. No manners or consideration for others what so ever. Its awful.

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Kelly (on 6/20 at 4:39 and 4:41)

For someone who parents taught her manners, you sure sound rude and offensive to Catherine! For example, "Old fashioned people need to shut up and sit down." There's such a thing as behaving respectfully, even if you don't agree with another's opinion.

You called Catherine "aged." Maybe you're too young - or just too militant - to understand that the whole women's movement was supposed to be about more choices for humanity in general - the idea for women is that if they aspire to be doctors or astronauts, there should be no barriers. Likewise if they wanted to be a mother and homemaker full time, that should not be looked down upon. Being told that you can't be respected UNLESS you have a professional career is just as demeaning as being told you're not intelligent enough to have one.

You also sound gullible. The term "wife school" is just a bias of the author. One can argue about the merits of the camp, and I certainly would never force a daughter to attend, but if she was a girly-girl and wanted to go, that would be fine.

I only wish I could have a mother cause I think it would have been very rewarding.

Julia

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The "wife-camp" is not a good idea for 2 reasons. First of all, it trains girls to be something that went out of the window 40 years ago. Second, not all people, including girls, ever get the chance to practice these things in real life. If your dinner routinely consists of a microwave TV dinner eaten with a plastic fork...well, who cares about table settings?
But, in general, I agree with the article's author that IF etiquette is being taught to children, it should apply to both boys and girls, and it should start much earlier than age 10. I have 4 children and have to routinely admonish my 5 year-old son to chew with his mouth closed and to hold his fork or spoon correctly. I figure if he doesn't learn it now, he will eat like a caveman when he's grown.
This is my list of what children should learn first (if you notice it's all things you do to avoid grossing other people out):
Use basic table manners; chew with your mouth closed, don't talk with food in your mouth, don't hold your spoon/fork in a fist, elbows off the table.
If you cough or sneeze, cover your mouth/nose. If you need to pass gas, leave the room to do so. If you burp, say excuse me afterwards.
Say please when you ask for something and thank you when you receive it.
Any child age 3 and up can master these things when reminded continuously, and they will serve them well into adulthood.

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I think that all boys and girls should learn basic manners. Also, girls should learn how to change a tire and ream out a plugged drain and boys should learn how to iron a shirt and cook.

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No, I wouldn't send my daughter to some camp to make her feel like she is suppose cower down to others even when they are wrong. I teach manners at home, which fork to use, how to properly dress, how to apply make-up. But I also teach her she is a person not just a girl and that she doesn't need someone to verify her as a person, that way she doesn't end up with some sorry excuse for a husband who should have went to husband/man school (which of course you would never see offered to boys any age).

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Being a european and having lived in the US for 17 with two girls being born there I always had the feeling that US parents prefer sending their kids to camps rather then teaching them a lot of useful everyday stuff themselves. I always asked our daughters to set the table and by now our 9 and 7 year olds know where to put what on the table. Or they help when there are guests. Yes it takes more time and the decoration on the plates it might not look as good as if I would do it by myself, but they are very proud and it gives them self insurance.
Of course it is a bit harder if the parents were themselves never thought the way to do it. Therefore the school is a good place to reinforce manners. Our daughters were for 4 years in an american school and we moved since then back to Europe. In their current school the teachers watch the kids eating and correct them if they use bad table manners. I still have to remind them not to put that one arm under the table and use both fork and knife at the same time. While in the US I tried to tell the teachers to make sure they eat properly but they didn't seem to understand. And beside table manners a good thing would be to teach them at the same time the importance of eating healthy food and avoid too many sweets and junk food.
To learn good manners takes time and needs to be reminded constantly.

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I would certainly send my daughters and sons (if I had any) to a place like this. I personally think grace and civility are things that are sadly lacking in the young people I meet. In fact most of the children I meet these days behave like gutter trash. Let's remember please that Martha Stewart is one of the richest and most powerful no nonsense ladies the world has ever seen and she built her media empire teaching us all to arrange flowers and how to be gracious hostesses. There is nothing wrong with girls learning these skills as long as they are getting a good education besides.

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Teaching comprehensive sexuality education to boys and girls in camps, workshops, family conferences, k-12 and in the home will be more useful as children develop and move into their teens and twenties than 'wife' camp, science camp or any of the other children camps. My university students know almost nothing about their bodies, sex or relationships. 20+ years of teaching at the university and students know as little now when they enter my classes as they did when I started teaching. Knowing how to protect yourself from getting pregnant or getting a std is more valuable than learning how to set a table.

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Well, sorry to say these kids today need some kind of training. They come to work in there PJs, flip flops and looking like Hookers or like the males with there pant about 12 inches below there waist.
Not counting that most of them can't do simple math or fill out a job application.

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I think this is a good idea, but like all good ideas it could use some tweeking. Personaly I find nothing sexist about it and think that the current generation of young woman would be able to go a lot further in life with at least a basic education in proper etiquette. I think this would be an even better idea if it were marketed as a family camp. Mom, Dad, older brother, little sister all involved. It would be a good way to teach families to communicate politly and respectfully and while casual manners may be acceptable at home how proud would you be to take your family to a formal setting and have everyone be comfotable because they know how they are supposed to behave. I work in law enforcment and everyday I head about fights and arguments that began because of lack of communication and/or lack of respect. If more people were educated in proper/formal manners maybe it would help them when this type of situations occur.
As of now I do not have any children, but when I do I would gladly take/send them to a program like this and wish that I had grown up in a time when proper manners were not only taught but expected.

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When I was in 7th grade I given a gift certificate at Christmas to go to Charm School. My circle of friends was all given this gift too, and we all went together. The "school" was held at Sears (can you believe that?). We laugh about it now at our high school reunions. But, as much as a parent can try to teach a child these things, there comes a point when it sometimes looks as if you're picking on the child and being overly critical. Having classes in etiquette puts the ball in someone else's court to be the bad guy. I totally agree that these classes should be given to boys as well (to include dancing so that when they grow up they aren't socially inhibited by this lack of ability to the point where they need to get drunk to dance with girls when they are older) and life skills could be a topic as well. Good manners take you far in business and in life and knowing things such as balancing a checkbook and other things to take care of the business of running a home give you a head start when you're starting out your life. And, people in this country often almost BRAG about not knowing how to cook, when cooking is one of the oldest forms of nurture and the most basic skill of taking care of oneself and family - children who are not taught by someone how to cook before they go out into the world on their own are at a huge social and nutritional disadvantage.

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Soooo,Just because this course is only offered to girls we should forget about it? That's the moronic mentallity that got us here in the first place. YES,boys should be taught these things as well. And if any show interest,by all means do. Forcing equallity on Males is just like forcing your particular brand of equallity on Females,if you don't like it,it MUST be wrong. These young Ladies seem to have shown an interest,ergo they are there. And yes,these things SHOULD be taught at home.But they all too apparently are not. 99% of todays parents have never even seen a 3 pronged fork let alone been able to discern that the shorter fork is not necessarily a childs fork. So these Ladies will be the only ones learning this? Then it will be on them to teach their sons and daughters. Let's hope it turns viral. We could use it.

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First of all, it is not called "wife" camp; it is called "make over" camp. Probably a better name could have been found - but the words "make over" are popular today. However, The writer definately was doing less reporting and more interjection of his/her personal opinion. Yes, I wish there was something for my boy because well, he is a boy and despite my constant harassment he is not interested in showing me his manners, but others seem to think he is well mannered so maybe he saves it for company.

It sounds like a perfectly wonderful summer camp for girls. I was never interested in sports type camp. I think this is perfect for girls who are interested in it or need it. Good manners will get you farther in life/business/career than bad ones. If you have a lunch meeting with executives, would you like to eat like a slob or a mannered person? And summer camp is also a BUSINESS and if boys and their parents won't pay to send them, why would they offer the course?

The real question here is, why is Bethany Sanders so insulted by this camp? Does she have manners? Elementary school through College didn't teach her how to present a story so obviously something is wrong in her world.

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As something aimed at the 10-14 year old girl, it isn't necessarily a bad idea to have classes that teach social skills and manners--the people who came up with this don't call it a "wife camp"--that is someone else's characterization. Given what I see on a daily basis, 17 year old girls coming in to apply for jobs in tank tops and flip flops, texting while I get them an application, plenty of them are not getting any direction at home about proper behavior--and this impacts their ability to compete in the real world. If she likes sports or music or art, great. But if your daughter likes fashion and decorating, why not a camp for that?

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