Jon and Kate Gosselin File For Divorce

Filed under: Celeb Parents, In The News, New In Pop Culture

By now you've heard the news: Jon and Kate Gosselin filed for divorce earlier today. But of course, since they still have a contract with TLC, the show must go on.

For at least 34 more episodes. This season.

It's hard to snark about this most recent episode of "Jon & Kate Plus 8," because honestly, the couple just seems so unhappy, both about their marriage and about having to talk to the cameras about their marriage.

The episode was wrenching, honestly. It was genuinely hard to watch.

Kate Gosselin of Jon and Kate Plus 8

    Rumors are swirling about Jon and Kate Gosselin's marriage. Is it over? Or is this just the stuff of reality TV? It's hard to know what's true, but it's even harder to look away.

    David Livingston, Getty Images

    Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you had one more child? How about two more? How about SIX more?

    Four years ago, Jon and Kate Gosselin went from being parents of two to parents of eight, and their lives have never been the same.

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    Today we all have a window into that life on TLC's Jon and Kate Plus 8. And of course, part of peeking into someone else's life is hypothesizing how we might do things differently or better, because it's always easy to imagine what you would do in someone else's shoes.

    What is harder to imagine is what it would really be like to walk in those other shoes -- what's it like to wake up every morning and be Kate Gosselin? ParentDish had a chance to ask her just that recently.

    In a normal week, the Gosselins have a television crew in their house about half the time, which is a lot, if you think about it. And while they will occasionally opt out of filming specific moments with their kids, the Gosselins have no editorial control over the show -- what you see is what you get, packaged by a team of folks at Discovery and TLC. But, Kate says, this is reality TV, and it accurately reflects life at the Gosselin house; nothing is pre-planned or made up. "We don't have time to memorize scripts," she jokes.

    I believe that.

    "We set out to show the truth," Kate says, "I couldn't watch it if it weren't true." What you see, in every televised moment, is precisely what is happening -- no stage directions or do-overs. This is life at the Gosselin house.

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    Kate Gosselin has gotten quite a bit of flak, both from the media and from viewers, for the way she treats her husband; the two are often shown bickering during the show. Kate says the criticisms don't bother her; she doesn't Google herself or make a practice of reading about herself on or off line. "Everyone has an opinion," she says, "and I'm only paying attention to my own." But she does admit that the way the show is edited affects how people see her family and her marriage. "If Jon and I have three spats over a two day period, they're going to edit it to make it look like those happened in the 22 minute period." The show is just a small slice of her family's life, after all.

    Kate is clearly focused not on what goes on outside her family but on her children. Her goal, she says, is to treat each child like an only child -- a hard thing to do when you're the mom of eight. "I hold myself to a very high standard," she says. At the same time, though, she's not trying to be perfect, or even to appear perfect to viewers of the show. She's just living her life.

    And yes, she's living it with television cameras in her house, but it's still her real life. Kate says that while the experience of being on television has changed her life, it hasn't changed who she is. She says the same about having eight children -- "It's hard to live through what we have lived through and not change. We are the same -- it's how people treat us" that is different.

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    One of the hardest things about her family, Kate says, is the noise; there are days when the older girls, Cara and Mady, come home from school and their reports about what they have done are drowned out by the noise of the sextuplets. More than anything, she says, she longs for peace and quiet -- otherwise, she would not change a thing about her life.

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    Kate finds the humor in her life -- recently, she partnered with P&G to help promote some of their brands, including Bounty paper towels, which she refers to as "my weapon of choice." She also laughs about the end of nap time at the Gosselin house; the sextuplets are four now and no one, Kate says, naps any more. But it's a rare night that the family gets through dinner without someone dozing off at the table. Recently, Jon said, "I think we can kiss goodbye ever having a family dinner again." A good night, Kate said, is when the kids push their plates out of the way before they fall asleep.

    You have to laugh about that, and Kate Gosselin does.

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    The Gosselins have a strong faith in God; they are often seen on the show wearing t-shirts with scripture on them and attending church. But despite the fact that the show doesn't highlight their faith, the Gosselins see it as an opportunity to share what they believe. Their website, The Gosselin 10, includes prayers and devotionals, and Jon and Kate travel around speaking to various churches and groups about their life and faith. The show, Kate says, has given them this opportunity to share what they believe.

    And for the Gosselins, being on television is about opportunity, not fame. The show has opened a variety of doors for them; Kate and Jon both work from home, which makes their life as parnents of eight more manageable. But it's not easy by any means -- there are days, Kate says, when she and Jon work until midnight.

    Kate has three pieces of advice for other parents. "Every morning, before my feet hit the floor," she says, "I pray for strength, just enough to get through that day." She reminds parents that a sense of humor can get you through nearly everything -- laugh, she says, don't cry. And finally, the most important lesson of all: "Always remember that bedtime comes, every single day."

The original episode, the one scheduled to run tonight, followed the delivery of a set of playhouses for the kids. Of course, these aren't any old playhouses; they're "crooked houses," specially designed to look like they were built by children. The Gosselins take delivery of four of the houses, one for each of the twins, and two for the little kids to share (one for the girls and one for the boys). The houses are darling and the kids love them. But before the happy playtime starts, Jon and Kate have to get through the delivery and assembly. No, they don't manage this themselves; a team arrives with the houses and takes care of building them. But there's a disagreement about where they houses will go, which should be one of those simple, straightforward things but isn't, because nothing is simple or straightforward any more.

In the second half hour, the one created to house the Gosselin's big announcement, Jon and Kate confront the cameras and the rumors. "So Jon," an off camera voice asks, "how's it goin'?"

"It's been so stressful," Gosselin says, frowning. "I mean, thank God we have the show, so we can tell what we want to tell. People just tell what they want anyway."

"This is the hardest episode ever," Jon says. "I'm two hours late to shoot cause I had reservations about doing it, cause I didn't know what to say ... We have soldiers over in Iraq dying for our country and all these people care about is like, what I eat for lunch."

Throughout the interview, Jon seems defiant, announcing, "I finally stood up on my own two feet and I'm proud of myself." Kate, on the other hand, seems more fragile than we have ever seen her; she sits in the very center of the interview chair, with her hands folded in her lap, carefully choosing every single word. She is clearly more unsettled by this turn of events than Jon is, more devastated by their inability to make this work out. Kate describes the failure of her marriage as a "slow progression," saying, "We've been dealing a long time with this." But even having a long time to deal with it hasn't made it any easier for her, clearly.

It's clear in their delivery: When the off-camera producer asks Jon to speak to what comes next, he takes a breath to collect himself and then quickly announces, "Kate and I have decided to separate," without any hesitation. Kate, on the other hand, stumbles: "We, ah, have ... decided, um, that we will separate ..."

And then comes the nitty gritty of custody: The children will continue to live, full time, in the house; Kate and Jon will take turns living in the house with the kids. And the show? The show will continue, with crews filming the couple separately with the children, in the same way that they will now live their lives with the children. Both Jon and Kate seem a little stunned by the idea that they will not be with their kids every day, which is perhaps the most wrenching part -- not just for the Gosselins but for every couple who goes through a separation or divorce. Kate admits that she is worried by the fact that her kids will look back and say, "My parents split up when I was, fill in the blank age." She also confesses, "I don't want to do this alone."

Jon is looking forward, though. "I might get offered a job," he says when he's asked about how the filming schedule will work going forward. "I have a new chapter in my life, I'm only 32 years old," he says.

And if you're not already weepy at the thought of those cute cute kids facing a divorce, TLC gets you with footage from times when the Gosselins were a happy family. Because nothing is worse when you're looking at a difficult future than looking back at the happy past.

In the end, Jon and Kate just seem like normal people facing a divorce. They both talk, sincerely, about how this will affect the kids, and they both seem to understand that this will be wrenching for them; they also both appear to have their priorities straight as they move forward. There's been a lot of buzz lately about how the Gosselins had lost whatever it was that viewers identified with -- Kate's soccer mom look, Jon's fun daddy demeanor -- but now they seem to have recaptured something that far too many of us will confront in our marriages and our lives as parents.

We're so sorry that the Gosselins are divorcing; we're sorry they didn't make it.


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