My Friend Named Her Baby After Auto Parts
Categories: Baby Names
Someone I know is having a baby boy, and her husband has a family tradition of giving car-related names, like Mercedes and Axel and such. I'm fine with that (it sounds like fun), but the name she wants to give is Jackford. I won't criticize her name choice, but how do I come to terms with a decision that I feel is bad when there are so many better names out there?
- Ruby
First off, bravo for what you didn't ask me. You didn't say, "How do I tell my friend that the name she's chosen for her baby stinks?" If any other readers want the answer to that question, it's simple: You don't. You don't tell expectant parents that the special name they've selected for their precious new child makes you want to retch. The most you can do is say "Oh, interesting," with a polite little smile, and hope they take the hint. Otherwise for the rest of Jackford's life, his parents will remember that you're the one who said his name sounds like a lab experiment gone wrong.
Now on to the trickier question you did ask: How does an interested observer come to terms with a name she doesn't like and has no control over?
There are three paths to name-acceptance. The first is to wait and let the baby do the heavy lifting for you. Have you ever heard parents talk about the process of naming their children and the various names they considered while pregnant? They always conclude with, "And now we can't imagine him as anything other than an Oliver (or a Hayden, or an Alejandro)." Names take on the characteristics of those who carry them. Six months after little Jackford's birth, his name will be attached to a living, breathing, adorable little boy, and you'll start to wonder what you ever had against such a cute name.
But perhaps you're impatient to make peace with you're friend's choice. Path two is to give yourself a pep talk. Remember that you're not the only audience, and no name pleases everybody. One friend thinks Nevaeh is a made-up name; another thinks Katherine is too plain; a family member went to school with a girl named Gwen whose nose was always running. And hey, it could be worse! Think of the terrible names you've encountered, from bizarre celebrity concoctions to names that sound like dictators or baldness cures. Plus consider that this baby will never have to be called "Jackford B." in school to tell him apart from all the other little Jackfords.
The final tip to help you get over your frustration: Find another outlet for your naming opinions. If you don't happen to be pregnant, then name a pet, write a story with lots of characters, or name your car and coffee pot and washing machine. Pick your names carefully, relish your own exquisite taste, and stop worrying.
Has somebody in your life chosen a name that gives you fits? Share your experiences! And if you have a question of your own to Ask the Name Lady, drop her a line.
- Ruby
First off, bravo for what you didn't ask me. You didn't say, "How do I tell my friend that the name she's chosen for her baby stinks?" If any other readers want the answer to that question, it's simple: You don't. You don't tell expectant parents that the special name they've selected for their precious new child makes you want to retch. The most you can do is say "Oh, interesting," with a polite little smile, and hope they take the hint. Otherwise for the rest of Jackford's life, his parents will remember that you're the one who said his name sounds like a lab experiment gone wrong.
Now on to the trickier question you did ask: How does an interested observer come to terms with a name she doesn't like and has no control over?
There are three paths to name-acceptance. The first is to wait and let the baby do the heavy lifting for you. Have you ever heard parents talk about the process of naming their children and the various names they considered while pregnant? They always conclude with, "And now we can't imagine him as anything other than an Oliver (or a Hayden, or an Alejandro)." Names take on the characteristics of those who carry them. Six months after little Jackford's birth, his name will be attached to a living, breathing, adorable little boy, and you'll start to wonder what you ever had against such a cute name.
But perhaps you're impatient to make peace with you're friend's choice. Path two is to give yourself a pep talk. Remember that you're not the only audience, and no name pleases everybody. One friend thinks Nevaeh is a made-up name; another thinks Katherine is too plain; a family member went to school with a girl named Gwen whose nose was always running. And hey, it could be worse! Think of the terrible names you've encountered, from bizarre celebrity concoctions to names that sound like dictators or baldness cures. Plus consider that this baby will never have to be called "Jackford B." in school to tell him apart from all the other little Jackfords.
The final tip to help you get over your frustration: Find another outlet for your naming opinions. If you don't happen to be pregnant, then name a pet, write a story with lots of characters, or name your car and coffee pot and washing machine. Pick your names carefully, relish your own exquisite taste, and stop worrying.
Has somebody in your life chosen a name that gives you fits? Share your experiences! And if you have a question of your own to Ask the Name Lady, drop her a line.
Recent Posts
- Celeb Clan Close-Up: Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and Maddox Hit the Super Bowl (2/08/2010)
- Bob Dylan's 'All the Animals' Inspires Children's Book (2/08/2010)
- Drew Brees and His Son After the Super Bowl - Best Moment of the Big Game? (2/08/2010)
- Did ManBabies Help Start the 'Stupid Men' Trend? (2/08/2010)
- Is It Really ADHD, or Just a Lack of Sleep? (2/08/2010)
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Jennifer 6-22-2009 @ 11:57AM
I have two comments about this topic. First, When I had my daughter and named her Ayla, my ex-fiance's sister was furious with me. Not only did she tell me she thought it was a whore's name, and a black kids name (which so what? I am white and in love with a black chick)... but she told me that when she sees Ayla she's going to cal her Alayna instead. I was so distraught; I told her well that's fine, but Alayna isn't having a babyshower, Ayla is. I fought back when I threw my own baby shower that I scheduled it when my ex's sister couldn't make it. Ayla's aunt has since gotten over the whole name thing, which makes me very happy. It has still caused an even bigger rift between my family and my ex's.
Secondly, my dog when I got her from the shelter had a name that really really didn't fit at all. Pogo. I mean sure she was a little hyper before, but she doesn't jump and it really just didn't fit. I searched for a long time to find a fitting name for my service animal. I finally came upon Jackie Kennedy Onassis. I call her Jackie-O or Jackie for short. When she is in trouble I say her whole name.
I absolutely love unique names and I feel that both my names fit quite well. I highly doubt that Ayla will have another Ayla in her class.. and even if she does, it can be something they laugh about, so who cares?
Reply
Karen 8-31-2009 @ 6:18PM
That is even more ignorant than most racism -- Ayla is a Hebrew name. (Note that I am not the Karen who sends out mean e-mails about other people's newborns.)
Karen 6-22-2009 @ 10:40PM
I wanted to name my daughter Raven. Everyone told me it was a stripper name. I didn't use it. Good thing because I ended up with a blonde haired, blue eyed daughter.
My friend named his daughter Diamond. I thougth that was a stripper name so as soon as she was born I sent out an e-mail telling everyone else to call her the same nick name. They all hated it too, so it worked. It stuck and while he still calls her Diamond, everyone else calls her the nick name.
But the name that always freaks me out and seems to be gaining in popularity again is Damien. It will forever be "the devil" to me. :)
Reply
Patricia 8-25-2009 @ 10:17AM
Karen, I am trying to put this as gently as possible, but sending an e-mail to you and your friend's mutual friends *telling* them to call *your friend's child* a nickname just because you dislike it and feel it is a "stripper name" is underhanded and extremely hurtful. Imagine how you would feel if you were that child's mother or your friend. You sent the message out loud and clear: that your friend and his partner are too stupid or tasteless to pick a proper name for their very own daughter. Perhaps the parents picked the name for a reason: a special meaning, a family name, after a dear friend, perhaps because they simply liked it! How absolutely, unbelievably, rude. Imagine in ten or so years when the child asks why she is called by a nickname and her father answers: "Honey, it's because my friend thought your name was tacky and told everyone to call you that instead of your full name." If you did to me what you did to them, you would be an ex-friend, post haste.
Raven 9-06-2009 @ 11:24PM
Not a stripper name :-(
damoki 6-22-2009 @ 10:38PM
Jennifer,
After Mr. Zappa named his kids and the subsequent scrabblesque onslaught, I don't think it matters so much anymore, if it ever did. Consider: Dwizzel, Moon Unit, Laquesha, Bill Bob Bubba Ray..... Ayla seems tame.
The only restrictions should be names that may embarrass kids, or the parents, later in life. When I was in college, there was a guy named Byrd Ball... everyone added an 's'... he was miserable. There's unique and then there's unique.
DaMoKi
Reply
Alexis 8-31-2009 @ 5:30PM
Extremely well said Patricia and I agree with you 100%. Grow up Karen and get a life.
Reply
talkinturtles 8-31-2009 @ 7:54PM
i cannot believe that someone would have the nerve to tell everyone to call the baby something other than it's real name. news flash: the parents of the baby are the only ones with the right to name the baby. it is absolutely none of anyone else's business. it is unbelievably rude and arrogant to do what you did karen. you may not like the name, but keep your mouth shut about it. believe me, we have had some strange names in our family..... shadrach, sonnet, meadow, and a few that i just personally don't like, ester, benjamin, gavin.... but, that's my problem. you just bite your tongue and eventually you get used to it.
Reply
talkinturtles 8-31-2009 @ 7:55PM
by the way jennifer.... ayla is a beautiful name. i've never heard it before. i love it!
Reply
alias 9-07-2009 @ 1:05AM
Ya,he does not have to worry about being called Jackford B but it won't be long before he is called Jack Off. He will have his stupid parents to thank for that.
Reply
alias 9-07-2009 @ 1:05AM
Well there is something to be said about crappy names and trying to be creative when naming your kids. You should think LONG and hard when trying to come up with something stupid or different. Kids do not want to be different. Silly and stupid name are not really a good idea. Ayla sounds pretty tame like Ally or something, but there are many that are down right stupid, some are old fashioned and just plain un-cool. Think about how your kids will feel, why would some one want to be named after an object or a car? It just isn't right. They would rather know there is another kid with their name. It shows they are not alone, whether they are miserable or not. To name kids things like Eugene, Oliver, Elmer, Otis, Gertrude, Florence not to mention all the made up doltish names is a form of punishment. Should they really be punished just for being born?
Reply
Amanda 12-02-2009 @ 1:31AM
My friend's niece is named, wait for it, Lolita. The sad thing is, at not yet 3, she looks it too. Not so much in the way she is dressed but her mannerisms and the words that come out of her mouth. They call her Lola but I honestly don't know where her mother's brain was when she chose Lolita. I have nothing against the name for how it sounds, only for what it means.
Reply