Tori Spelling's "Mommywood"

Tori Spelling has come a long way since playing the role of "Donna Martin" on "Beverly Hills, 90210" in the 90's. These days, Tori -- an actress, reality TV star, jewelry designer and author of two best-selling books -- is a married mother of two, juggling family, romance and a busy career in the wilds of Hollywood. Her reality show with husband Dean McDermott, son Liam and daughter Stella, "Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood," is in its fourth season on Oxygen and includes a companion web series called "Mommywood." Tori also designs and markets her own line of fashion jewelry on HSN called the Tori Spelling Collection. Most recently, following the success of her first New York Times best-selling book, "sTori Telling," Tori introduced her follow-up, "Mommywood," about her life as a busy wife and mother in Tinseltown. Despite her celebrity status, the book details how Tori deals with the same relationship and parenting issues as the rest of us!
Check out an excerpt of Tori's entertaining and candid new book, "Mommywood," published by Simon Spotlight Entertainment.
Excerpted from "The Afterword: The Other Shoe"
Raising normal kids in Hollywood sometimes feels like an oxymoron. Giving my kids that down-to-earth upbringing I always fantasized about is especially hard for me since I've never lived anywhere else or worked in any other business. I mean, I have a feeling I constructed all those fantasies about a "normal" childhood from seeing "normal" families on TV shows. There is no question my kids will be Hollywood kids. Liam may always prefer the weeklies to Goodnight Moon, and I'm sure I'll pass the fashion bug on to Stella. But with Dean, I will find a balance for them. I know what's most important: time with my kids, time as a family, time to explore the world together, make discoveries, and talk about the lessons we learn. Love shines through everything. No matter how blinding the paparazzi flashbulbs may be, I know that my children will always feel my arms around them, actually or figuratively, and they'll see beyond the superficial interference.
Liam is still a Daddy's boy. For now. A few days ago Dean took Liam and went to get Jack for the day. The boys were together from two p.m. to eight p.m. When they got home I said, "Hi, Monkey! I missed you," but Liam wouldn't even look at me. He just said, "Daddy, Daddy." I got his Goldfish crackers and said I'd open the packet for him. He said, "No! Daddy, Daddy." All week I've been putting him to bed. The first night he had a tantrum, crying, "Daddy, Daddy, my daddy." I spent forty-five minutes talking him through it. I said, "Daddy went night-night. He's sleeping. Now it's time for you to go to sleep. I love you. You're fine. You're safe." I said the same things over and over again. But there wasn't one moment when I felt tired or frustrated. (Thank you, Mimi, for teaching me patience.) Finally, he calmed down and snuggled into bed. I said, "Good night, angel. I love you."
I walked away from Liam's bedroom feeling very proud of myself. When I got to our bedroom Dean said, "That was an ordeal, right?" But no, it hadn't felt like an ordeal. I was happy to spend forty-five minutes making my child feel comfortable and safe. I couldn't imagine having anything better to do with my time. I was confident. It felt natural. I wasn't a new, inexperienced parent anymore. I was a real mother, and it made me happy to see my son growing, to see Liam realizing that he could go to sleep with me instead of Dean. I saw it as a breakthrough. I told Dean, "No, it was fine. We're adjusting a learned behavior. It takes time."
Dean and I are learning to share our parenting, to balance experience and inexperience, and to talk through the hard patches. We don't have to be on the same page every minute. No matter how busy our day is or if we're having a disagreement, we always take moments throughout the day to stop, to hug and kiss, and to tell each other how much we love each other. Dean is really good at initiating that. Our challenge is to balance the newness of our family with our different experiences. But undertaking new adventures with the wisdom and experience that life brings is what it's all about. Dean is my soul mate, and I'm always grateful to be growing a family with him.
Just the other night, Dean went to take Liam up to bed. Liam turned and said, "Mama." My heart. Oh my God! He was in Dean's arms but he wanted me. I took him, trying to be cool. I said to Dean, "Isn't this good?"
And Dean said, "My heart's breaking a little bit right now, but yes, it's good." Halfway up the stairs Liam changed his mind. He reached out for Dean. But for those first five steps he wanted his mama. There's hope for me yet.
There are worse things for my children than a Hollywood childhood. I have some fond memories of my own. I think again about the Christmas snow that my parents famously arranged to have delivered to our backyard so their Los Angeles children would have a white Christmas. I'm definitely doing it. I don't know how much it costs, but even if all I can afford is to spread bags of crushed ice across a sandbox, I'm doing it. The Christmas snow is something Jenny, Mehran, and my other friends have been hearing about for years. The snow wasn't really a family tradition; my parents only did it twice. But that extravagance-the jokes we've made about it over the years-that is a tradition between me and my friends. We'll have a big chuckle over doing it for our children. And I know that over the years we'll create our own traditions-simple traditions, extravagant ones, silly ones, and romantic ones. I look at my children-they're still so small-and feel grateful for the years of memories that we have ahead of us.
I spent so long wanting and trying to change my life. I've accepted and embraced "Tori Spelling," and I'm trying in my work to make the most out of being true to myself. The same goes for me as a mother. My kids may not have a normal life. I may be raising them in Mommywood. But I love them, and no matter if we're appearing on red carpets, getting the neighbors in a tizzy, or being documented in weekly magazines, love is love.
*Excerpted from 'Mommywood' by Tori Spelling. Copyright © 2009 by Tori Spelling. Excerpted by permission of Simon Spotlight Entertainment, a division of Simon & Schuster, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 5)
kerri 7-11-2009 @ 8:15PM
She will always be a homewrecker in my family's eyes.
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luckyduck1990l 7-11-2009 @ 8:26PM
I'm not saying that what they did was right, but why is it that she's the homewrecker? what about him?
Shaking My Head 7-11-2009 @ 8:23PM
She says her kids will prefer tabloids over books? Great. What a role model. Can you spelling empty headed ? The reason that people make fun of hollywood people for good reason.
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karen 7-11-2009 @ 8:35PM
typical, rich trash with no talent and no class
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Anoynomous 7-11-2009 @ 9:15PM
Just a word of advise. No family is ever complete without the love
support and bond that one does have with their parents. How sad and
unfortunate it would be if and when your mom passes on you were left
with regrets and the would have, should have, could haves. Your
children do have a grandmother who is waiting in the sidelines to
love and adore them. How selfish of you to deny your own children of
their most cherished right. It's time for by gones to be just that
--let it go. Grow up and remember --what goes around comes around.
How will you feel when your children grow up and learn to disown
their parents the way that you have taught them to disown your own?
It's enough already---------how much money do you really need to meet
your lipstick needs and how much of your father's estate do you feel
that you are rightously entitled to have your mom sign off to you?
------------------------
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Chirssy2222 7-11-2009 @ 8:59PM
They appear to be great parents and I hope they are Their children are adorable. You can't always judge a book by its cover Don't forget they know they are on TV so the act differently then when not being filmed I wish them all well. God Bless
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matt715 7-11-2009 @ 9:04PM
Wow - she thinks it's great her kids will grow up shallow. Can't wait.
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jo 7-11-2009 @ 9:04PM
What part of adultery do you not understand...they are not protected and it is not live happily ever after.... God is not impressed
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Cherie 7-11-2009 @ 9:28PM
Did not God forgive David for his adultery with Bathsheba? Yes, he did punish him, but in the end, God loved David, and forgave him. And David caused Uriah's death so it wasn't only adultery but murder that needed forgiveness....
lnzplaying 7-11-2009 @ 9:06PM
She's a terrific mom and great wife.talented girl. Just because she doesn't have the classic HW looks..some regard her as unattractive. She has classic good looks and her husband finds her attractive....Why is it always the fault of the woman when a marriage breaks up?
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jonell 7-11-2009 @ 9:07PM
Ummmm.....can you say "WHACKO"?????!!!!!
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jonell 7-11-2009 @ 9:09PM
And I am not impressed, either, Jo.....please keep your holy rolling to yourself.
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jo 7-11-2009 @ 9:24PM
JONELL...thanks for the compliment... whatever your interpretationof holy roller is... I am sold out and owe no one an apology for how I choose to believe in the solid word of God... as for me and my house we will serve the Lord... and if it offends you ... too bad... God's word is what is... and it never changes.. people do.. that is called moral relativism... nor apologies to you or anyone else...I answer to HIM
bassman 7-11-2009 @ 9:26PM
I didn't know tori spelling was still alive let alone doing anything on or off TV!
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John Stow 7-12-2009 @ 6:05AM
these people, especially her, are sick
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Cherie 7-11-2009 @ 9:18PM
I don't think Tori is ugly. I don't think she's pretty either, but rather average looking. She has pretty hair, beautiful eyes, it's just her mouth that is unattractive. That being said, it sounds like she is maturing. Yes, she helped to ruin a marriage, and yes, it may come back to her. But it sounds like they are a solid couple, and in the end, time will tell.
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jo 7-11-2009 @ 9:18PM
NOT AS LONG AS THEIR IS BREATH WITHIN ME... AND TO CURSE ME...WOULD NOT BE A GOOD THING FOR YOU!!
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ashlee 7-11-2009 @ 11:12PM
jo,
as an ex christian that used to preach exactly what you are preaching on this website, i can spot a hypocrite from a mile away! if you are the christian you are claiming to be... why in the hell are you reading about hollywood gossip! YOU HYPOCRITE! go somewhere else with your hypocrisy!!!
chi 7-12-2009 @ 1:16AM
You don't sound very Christian to me at all. In my experience the most Christian people are fairly quiet and help people in everyday life. That's how Christ's love and message is spread not by rantings on an internet comment site.
Cherie 7-11-2009 @ 9:24PM
Jo, while I applaud your faith, also remember the good book says to not throw stones. In the end, Tori will be judged by God for her actions, not by us. It is not our place, as Christians, tear people down but to show them God's love and plan for them through kindness, and gentle guidance. Ranting does no good, and does not portray Christians as they should be portrayed. Forgive and pray should be our model. By making such strong, really hateful comments, you make yourself seem like a fanatic. and people will automatically dismiss you as one.
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