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Filed under: Celeb Kids, Celeb Parents, Books for Parents, New In Pop Culture
Tori Spelling has come a long way since playing the role of "Donna Martin" on "Beverly Hills, 90210" in the 90's. These days, Tori -- an actress, reality TV star, jewelry designer and author of two best-selling books -- is a married mother of two, juggling family, romance and a busy career in the wilds of Hollywood. Her reality show with husband Dean McDermott, son Liam and daughter Stella, "Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood," is in its fourth season on Oxygen and includes a companion web series called "Mommywood." Tori also designs and markets her own line of fashion jewelry on HSN called the Tori Spelling Collection. Most recently, following the success of her first New York Times best-selling book, "sTori Telling," Tori introduced her follow-up, "Mommywood," about her life as a busy wife and mother in Tinseltown. Despite her celebrity status, the book details how Tori deals with the same relationship and parenting issues as the rest of us!
Check out an excerpt of Tori's entertaining and candid new book, "Mommywood," published by Simon Spotlight Entertainment.
Excerpted from "The Afterword: The Other Shoe"
Raising normal kids in Hollywood sometimes feels like an oxymoron. Giving my kids that down-to-earth upbringing I always fantasized about is especially hard for me since I've never lived anywhere else or worked in any other business. I mean, I have a feeling I constructed all those fantasies about a "normal" childhood from seeing "normal" families on TV shows. There is no question my kids will be Hollywood kids. Liam may always prefer the weeklies to Goodnight Moon, and I'm sure I'll pass the fashion bug on to Stella. But with Dean, I will find a balance for them. I know what's most important: time with my kids, time as a family, time to explore the world together, make discoveries, and talk about the lessons we learn. Love shines through everything. No matter how blinding the paparazzi flashbulbs may be, I know that my children will always feel my arms around them, actually or figuratively, and they'll see beyond the superficial interference.
Liam is still a Daddy's boy. For now. A few days ago Dean took Liam and went to get Jack for the day. The boys were together from two p.m. to eight p.m. When they got home I said, "Hi, Monkey! I missed you," but Liam wouldn't even look at me. He just said, "Daddy, Daddy." I got his Goldfish crackers and said I'd open the packet for him. He said, "No! Daddy, Daddy." All week I've been putting him to bed. The first night he had a tantrum, crying, "Daddy, Daddy, my daddy." I spent forty-five minutes talking him through it. I said, "Daddy went night-night. He's sleeping. Now it's time for you to go to sleep. I love you. You're fine. You're safe." I said the same things over and over again. But there wasn't one moment when I felt tired or frustrated. (Thank you, Mimi, for teaching me patience.) Finally, he calmed down and snuggled into bed. I said, "Good night, angel. I love you."
I walked away from Liam's bedroom feeling very proud of myself. When I got to our bedroom Dean said, "That was an ordeal, right?" But no, it hadn't felt like an ordeal. I was happy to spend forty-five minutes making my child feel comfortable and safe. I couldn't imagine having anything better to do with my time. I was confident. It felt natural. I wasn't a new, inexperienced parent anymore. I was a real mother, and it made me happy to see my son growing, to see Liam realizing that he could go to sleep with me instead of Dean. I saw it as a breakthrough. I told Dean, "No, it was fine. We're adjusting a learned behavior. It takes time."
Dean and I are learning to share our parenting, to balance experience and inexperience, and to talk through the hard patches. We don't have to be on the same page every minute. No matter how busy our day is or if we're having a disagreement, we always take moments throughout the day to stop, to hug and kiss, and to tell each other how much we love each other. Dean is really good at initiating that. Our challenge is to balance the newness of our family with our different experiences. But undertaking new adventures with the wisdom and experience that life brings is what it's all about. Dean is my soul mate, and I'm always grateful to be growing a family with him.
Just the other night, Dean went to take Liam up to bed. Liam turned and said, "Mama." My heart. Oh my God! He was in Dean's arms but he wanted me. I took him, trying to be cool. I said to Dean, "Isn't this good?"
And Dean said, "My heart's breaking a little bit right now, but yes, it's good." Halfway up the stairs Liam changed his mind. He reached out for Dean. But for those first five steps he wanted his mama. There's hope for me yet.
There are worse things for my children than a Hollywood childhood. I have some fond memories of my own. I think again about the Christmas snow that my parents famously arranged to have delivered to our backyard so their Los Angeles children would have a white Christmas. I'm definitely doing it. I don't know how much it costs, but even if all I can afford is to spread bags of crushed ice across a sandbox, I'm doing it. The Christmas snow is something Jenny, Mehran, and my other friends have been hearing about for years. The snow wasn't really a family tradition; my parents only did it twice. But that extravagance-the jokes we've made about it over the years-that is a tradition between me and my friends. We'll have a big chuckle over doing it for our children. And I know that over the years we'll create our own traditions-simple traditions, extravagant ones, silly ones, and romantic ones. I look at my children-they're still so small-and feel grateful for the years of memories that we have ahead of us.
I spent so long wanting and trying to change my life. I've accepted and embraced "Tori Spelling," and I'm trying in my work to make the most out of being true to myself. The same goes for me as a mother. My kids may not have a normal life. I may be raising them in Mommywood. But I love them, and no matter if we're appearing on red carpets, getting the neighbors in a tizzy, or being documented in weekly magazines, love is love.
*Excerpted from 'Mommywood' by Tori Spelling. Copyright © 2009 by Tori Spelling. Excerpted by permission of Simon Spotlight Entertainment, a division of Simon & Schuster, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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ReaderComments (Page 5 of 5)
7-12-2009 @ 2:21AM
c hill said...Tori has too much makeup on in the photo. She looks campy.
Reply
7-12-2009 @ 2:21AM
Carol said...I believe there is a God. Some people do not. That is their choice, as it is mine. I choose to live my life by doing unto others as I would have them do unto me -- the Golden Rule. I believe there is an afterlife and that people who try to live a good life here on earth, without causing harm to others will be rewarded. Some people choose not to believe there is a God, a heaven or a hell. So be it. It doesn't make them bad people. However, they'd better hope they are not wrong. (and I say hope, because obviously you wouldn't pray) because an eternity is a long, long time to suffer in hell.
Reply
7-12-2009 @ 2:24AM
EdN said...I'm sure the kids will be great after the plastic surgerys she'll put them thru.
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7-12-2009 @ 5:01AM
Jann Whalen said...To EdN,
No one gets to choose their looks or we would all be beautiful....to judge someone who is what you call "ugly" is totally stupid. People are people and those who do not choose to do plastic surgery and just be themselves are probably better people than the ones who go through all that just to "look good". Obviousy, you are a good-looking person and therefore look down on those who are not. You should be ashamed of thinking that only good-looking people are worth being around. Nobody chooses to be "ugly" and you should be thankful that you are not one of them. They are treated badly by idiots like you. Think about that awhile. I dare ya!
7-12-2009 @ 2:53AM
Bill said...What freaking planet are you from??? Go bash your bible else where you brimstone sucking moron! People like you who stand on their soapbox spewing crap are the worst offenders of the lords word!
Reply
7-12-2009 @ 2:54AM
James Weaver said...This parental duet is a matched set of very idiotic parents, with ideas that assist in forming horrible egocentric self-serving ideas in their children. It’s very sad to realize that these two air-heads are considered to be celebrates by other air-heads or any halfwits. Such parents are a curse on any productive God fearing society.
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7-12-2009 @ 3:17AM
Barbara said...Yes, Tori, you ARE doing it right! There is no such thing as "normal." There is no such thing as "the right way" (to raise children. Some parents are loose, some are frugal; some are indulgent, some are strict The ONLY sure thing to raising a child is to LOVE them unconditionally with your whole heart and soul. They may end up breaking yours (heart), but you will know you did a good job!
There is no such thing as loving too much. Love is what will have them grow wings with which they will fly away....A good mother works her way out of the job, and a good mom always knows/feels their child deserves the best.
Kudos! Keep up the good work...no matter the world tells you different.... :)
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7-12-2009 @ 3:51AM
Valerie said...I always thought Tori Spelling was uggggggggggllllllllllyyyyyyyy, she has buggy eyes funny lips and a funny shaped face. The only reason why she's even famous is becuase of her father, may rip.
She's a nobody!
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7-12-2009 @ 4:01AM
china said...POOR KIDS LOOK LIKE TORI.
AND LIAM IS MEAN!
CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY DEAN IS IN THIS REALATIONSHIP.
TORI LOOKS AWFUL!
CRAPPY SHOW--
MAKES US POOR FOLKS FEEL BAD--LOL.
Reply
7-12-2009 @ 4:46AM
simpsongzr said...WHO FUCKING CARES?????
MONEY IS AS MONEY DOES!!
LOOK AT ALL THE FAT LOW LIFE BITCHES THAT RESPOND AS IF THEY HAVE A MEANING IN LIFE,ITS A DREAM AND A WISH THAT SOME ONE CARES!!!!
GO VISATE DR>PHIL YA LONELY PIGS!!!!
Reply
7-12-2009 @ 4:38AM
Joanne Long said...Jo,
I read her first book. Yes it was "fluffy" but her description is a little bit different than you may think. He and her were both married. And on the first day they met they spent the night together. They spent weeks on the movie, falling in love. She may be a homewrecker, but he is just as much to blame. As a matter of fact he told his wife before she had the courage to tell her husband.
~~~Not justifying it~~~ But they are equally responsible.
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7-12-2009 @ 4:39AM
Mavis said...Tori Spelling should certainly not be giving out "advice" on parenting! To say that a child would prefer tabloids to books is totally irresponsible. I can only hope that the child she is referring to grows to like books! Although tabloids sometimes actually do tell true stories, most of what is in them is just totally out of what actually happened, which is found out later on, usually too late! Her views on child rearing is disgusting, to say the least. She has already said that she was raised in a dysfunctional family and now she is doing the same thing! When her boys are old enough to read, I hope that she gives them books and not tabloids!
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7-12-2009 @ 5:00AM
simpsongzr said...Your right!Not only is she not a hottie!her acting is all but average.I'm not a big movie buff,t.v and such,I just found this on aol and had to respond.Must be nice to make money riding on coat tails EH?Holly wood is not out of hand!Who you no is!!What ever happened to (REAL ACTERS?)SHE IS SPOILED,AND SHE AINT THAT GOOD>
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7-12-2009 @ 8:14AM
KAKES said...Ok. Tori Spelling is ugly. She has always been. She would not be where she is is it was not for her father. God rest his soul. That is all I have to say. God is she homely. Ok. I said more. Can't help that. Ha!
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7-12-2009 @ 5:47AM
BEA said...I REALLY enjoy Tori Spelling. I did not always think this way. Since I started watching Tori and Dean I learned that she shares the same parenting anxietys that we ALL do. She is sweet., fuunny, loving, caring and very excepting. Especially in a world that is so judgmental. (just read some of the comments) I do not think that any of us would have faired as well as Tori had we had to walk in her shoes for just a day. She is a GREAT mom, (which after her being raised by a self centered person like her own mom, is amazing in it self) I for one admire her zest for life and her caring additude. Keep it up Tori you are doing great.
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7-12-2009 @ 6:00AM
wes said...I watch their show 1 time, and all deadn wanted as to watch porno.
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7-12-2009 @ 5:59AM
Leana Jo said...Another Hollywood celeb who will have messed up kids, when the kids become teenagers and adults....Sheeesh!!! Grow Tori and let your kids be whatever they want. They may not want the Hollywood lifestyle (fake personalities, fake this, fake that, etc.).
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7-12-2009 @ 6:07AM
jo said...Dear thinking out loud.... ever heard of judging the sin and not the sinner... big difference.... God doesnt sit back on the sidelines and condone this behavior nor your approval of it.... and what you do when you use that scripture is called taking it out of context to use and also judge me.... scripture is meant to be studied, referenced and applied according to the word of God... and inspired by the HOLY Spirit... and I follow Jesus not religion.... so if you want another scripture.... get the plank out of your owy eye.... I have no problem with what I have said.... God will judge the sin.... any sin (including mine) which hasnt been dealt with...between HIM and the person.... so your own self righteousness is showing.... another error in judgment on my part (like others) is wishing people would understand the consequences of behavior... and sights like this only bring rash criticism to anyone who attempts to show that...
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7-12-2009 @ 11:52AM
leslie said...Gee. If she does everything well perhaps she will have as good a relationship with her kids as her mother does with her.
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