Under-Scheduling Children - How Bad?
Categories: Kids 5-7, Kids 8-11, Development
I don't know, what do you guys want to do? Photo: stockexpert.com
At the same time, what's a kid (and a kid's mom) to do on these long days? And is it helpful for children to be around other kids in some kind of structured environment or is it totally fine, maybe even better, to skip the structure for the summer? To find out, I called Parental Advisor Robert Schachter, a New York City-based psychologist and faculty member of Mount Sinai School of Medicine.
"It's not so much about about scheduling as it is about how much a kid has to do," he says. "If kids are booked morning to night and can't catch their breath, it's not necessarily the best thing."
Ah, cool. I had a (wishful) feeling this over-scheduling trend was coming to a close. "The issue is: What they're going to do if they're not in a structured program," he adds. I was wondering that as well. "What you don't want is them vegging in front of the TV eight hours a day doing nothing." So how's a busy mom to survive summer without camp? A few ideas:
Playdates! Have a candid conversation with other moms whose kids you like and see if you can trade days with them. Setting up some regular dates is far easier than doing the weekly scramble.
Limit media. Just like during the school year, too much screen time is not a good thing. "If they end up being little couch potatoes, it's not good for them," says Schachter. "What I've seen is, they get hypnotized and they waste enormous amounts of time it's not regenerative time or time they feel like they're being a kid -- it's mind-numbing."
Help them succeed. Any time you can find an activity that helps them feel their effect on the universe and interact with other people in a positive way, you're helping them develop their sense of self, says Schachter. Local leagues, community center classes, even an ad-hoc league set up by parents; it doesn't have to be pricey to be beneficial.
So, how bad is it to under-schedule the kids during the summer? As long as they have something to do and aren't sitting in front of the TV all day, says Schachter, it's not bad. Experiment with how much downtime a child needs until you find the right balance. "Some kids love to be active all the time and crash at the end of the day," he says. Other kids need more time during the day to relax and recharge -- being flexible will help you both find the right mix.
Have you had a less-than-perfect parenting moment and you're wondering, "How bad?" Send it to PrincessLvsPink@Gmail.com and it could get addressed in this column.
Sabrina Weill is editor-in-chief of PrincessLovesPink.com.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Annie 7-02-2009 @ 10:34AM
I think unstructured play is one of the most valuable things that kids can do. It helps build their creativity.
Reply
damoki 7-02-2009 @ 10:33PM
Annie,
True. I am for a balance that includes unstructured activities... both inside and outside.
But, I wonder how many of these concerned parents are using camp and other activities in the same way TV and Video games have been used... as baby sitters. Hopefully, not a lot.
Also, just how often are the kids asked what they would like to do?
No judgments or accusations: just wondering.
DaMoKi
Also,
Uly 7-02-2009 @ 11:44PM
Damoki, what world do you live in? Of COURSE parents use camp and other activities as babysitters. For a lot of parents, that's all the babysitters they can get. A lot of people can't afford to have a parent home for two months, and if the local schools or parks department offers free or cheap programs, of course they jump at the chance to keep their kids engaged instead of leaving them home with the TV.
damoki 7-03-2009 @ 4:16AM
Uly,
The focus of the article was to examine the effect of a more relaxed schedule on kids and moms, (first sentence, paragraph 2). My question focused on parental motivation... not the availability of resources.
You said, “Of COURSE parents use camp and other activities as babysitters.” which seems a reflection or indictment of all parents. In reality, (the world in which I live), many parents do spend time with their kids in the summer and have often played taxi driver to accommodate their children’s full schedules; now they may consider “under-scheduling” as an option. This is not restricted to “soccer moms”. There are many part-time, night shift, work-at-home, and other parents representing a wide spread of income and inclination. Many have the option or reducing their kid’s schedule.
You said, “A lot of people can't afford to have a parent home for two months,…”
Parents unable to take time off to support a child’s loaded schedule must opt for other arrangements, and are not a big part of this discussion because of limited choices. Their circumstance is unfortunate, but not relevant. Luckily, for their children, programs and options are often available. If they choose not to place their children in them, the parent will still be absent during that time.
To clarify my point about parental motivation and babysitting: If a child must be placed in a program because of the parent’s absence by obligation (working, sick…), that is babysitting. If a child is placed in a program because the parent is absent by choice, mentally or physically, (too busy, disinterest, wants to other things…), that is babysitting. If the child is placed in a program for an enriching experience, or whatever, even though the parent is available, that is not babysitting. All three are part of reality, and my question was concerning the middle one.
DaMoKi
Reply
Jenny from the blog 7-07-2009 @ 11:53AM
It's funny, as I am reading this my son is having a day off camp. I am replying as he is watching the 3rd episode of Johnny Test. Then we are off to see Transformers. I love your column it makes me feel like a crappy mom sometimes, but it reminds me I'm not the only one out there. LOL
Reply