Are Co-Ed Dorms a Good Idea?

please... men and women... have you been to a college campus lately, could you imagine the controvery this would cause when a boyfirend and girlfriend that are rooming together break-up- there would be a new petition to change roomates filed daily or even more often

Good point about the room change petitions.

For the record, I'm not in favor of "shacking up" but I do believe it is an adult's own decision - provided that adult bears ALL the responsibility for his/her choice.

When I was in grad school, lots of people shacked up in the dorms, and the people most inconvenienced were the people who were NOT shacking up. Like when I went to the women's bathroom at night and found a man standing there in his underwear. Luckily I didn't have to have a roommate, but those who did were stuck making all kinds of accommodations when their roommates decided to have sex in their rooms. To me, that is disgusting. Parents need to teach their kids about consideration if they are going to have roommates. (I lived at home during college, and though I shared a bathroom with 7 other family members, it was still not as bad as the dorm.)

Just FYI to all the people saying that no way my kid is going to shack up with someone of the opposite sex on my dime, it happens every day. Just because a dorm says it isn't co-ed does not mean that there are not members of the opposite sex spending their nights in the rooms, it isn't like they have a room check each night to make sure (at least at my school they didn't). So like it or not if your kids want to "shack up" they will, and on your precious dime to boot.

I'm not saying this to say your wrong; but you're not making a very good argument when you start off with "absolutely not" in all caps and then proceed to give no reason as to why not. On top of that, you then call people stupid idiots. That was very offensive and unnecessary. If you don't agree that's fine, everyone is entitled to their own opinion but you do not have to call people stupid idiots to state your opinion on dorm gender situations. Also, whether you say "absolutely not, no student will ever shack up on my dollar" or not, they already have. So if it bothers you so much, take actions to change it. Don't just say it's wrong, not state why it's wrong, then call people stupid.

I think this is a great idea! If the students are smart enough not to room with a boyfriend/girlfriend, this can be a great experience. I, like the girl in the story, have always found it easier to get along with guys. If I was given the choice I would probably room with a guy friend. I will admit there would be awkward moments such as bathroom encounters and sexual partners in the room, but if I really disliked it, I wouldn't sign up for it the next year, and would feel proud of myself for trying.

boy u sure live in the stone ages!

I worked at an institution that has this policy and I was one of the only no votes. I think there are so many issues with coed living that may intefere with learning. I was really thinking and responding as a parent of high school students. I changed my vote when they said no freshman or minors with out parental permission. I would not want my children to live with the opposite sex and if it is on my dime, they won't. I do think that most students are mature enough to make intelligent decisions and they have to sign a contract so if it doesn't work out they also have to live with the consequences of those decisions.
On another note (and here is my parental double standard), I lived off campus and had 2 roomates 1 female and 1 male. Neither of us was in a romantic relationship with the other and it worked out great. No awkward moments and a lot of sharing of how to understand the opposite sex.

not true that there is always housing available off campus - i go to school in the city, and the cheapest apartment i could find was around $900 for a studio, and it wasn't even very close to my school.
also, transgender people want gender neutral rooms so they can feel more comfortable. it's not about having "fun."

You said:
“Newsflash: just because two people decide to live together doesn't mean they're having sex. AND, just because two people don't live together doesn't mean they're NOT having sex!”

I say:
Just because two people decide to lean over the edge of the cliff doesn’t mean they are going to fall, AND, just because two people don’t lean over the edge of the cliff doesn’t mean they are NOT going to fall.

Both are true, but have little to do with why parents often object to their kids living with the opposite sex in college, or object to them standing near the edge of a cliff. However, they do tend to explain objections to co-habitation… and the need for guardrails. Each are meant to protect those without the good sense not to stand in harms way.

You said:
“I say, as long as its a voluntary thing, who cares who lives where and with whom?! If you are worried about your own children, guess what, when they're away at college they're going to do what they want, no matter who they live with!”

I say:
See what I mean? The problem with being young and thinking you know all the answers, is that you have heard so few questions. Many parents were in college too, and even if not, they are not as naive as their kids think.

Personally, I believe co-habitation is OK for “adults” in college, and I believe it is a personal decision, if students pay the bill or if their parents do not care. I also believe, if parents have done their “job” well, their college age kids will make good decisions; if they haven’t… it is pretty much too late for parental influence.

DaMoKi

Nice to have input from someone who's actually in college. I agree with your points. I had all male roommates as a young adult--close friends--and it worked great. Some people are more comfortable with the opposite gender. As long as they're 18+, I'm not sure what the big deal is. Although I do think if parents are footing the bill, they should have veto power.

regards,
Mary
http://www.squidoo.com/too-much-homework

Kirstie: Your comments are thoughtful ones and raise an interesting point. While I was a student at Vassar College, I had a friend there with whom I'd attended hight school. He was, as was I, placed with a male roommate. Unlike MY (sorry for the shout) male roommate, this guy was hot, and my friend, to use his own words at the time, "fell in love" with him. The roommate, however, was as Straight as an arrow. To make a long story short, this situation caused considerable stress on each of them that my friend ended up in on-campus counselling, etc. I think, upon reflecting upon your note, here, that things would have worked out much better for each if my friend had been afforded a room with e.g. a woman comfortable with gay men or a transgendered person. Thanks for your insight.

I agree. I grew up with two brothers. I was a tomboy and when I got to college, I was subjected to inconsiderate, bitchy, whiney girls like I had never encountered. I really did not like it. I rode the wave and dealt with it. Once an upper classman, I hung out and spent many nights in my bf's suite (not necessarily shacking up - we were considerate of his roomies). As someone above said, it may not be ideal for a two in a room situation (dressing, body parts hanging out of PJs, etc...lol), but in a suite situation where you have two or three doubles, I think it would work great.