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'Real World' Star, Now Mom, Says 'NYC Prep' is Bad News
Filed under: Media, Opinions, Teen Culture
Bravo's hit reality show, "The Real Housewives of New Jersey," is the most deliciously guilty mom pleasure since cookie dough ice cream hit grocery store freezers. Ironically, its teen counterpart, "NYC Prep," is drawing criticism from the same moms (like me!) who sneak "Real Housewives" episodes when their kids aren't around.
Why? Because moms know that when it comes to media intake, adults and teens are different. Teens are impressionable and there is a moral hazard in Bravo's not-so teenage look at the lives of privileged New York City private-school kids: The normalization of very bad teen behavior and the insidious cultural pressure on kids to grow up too fast.
Unlike the glamorous TV rich kids of my generation, these kids don't hang out at the Peach Pit after school. They have completely bypassed the pep rallies, pizza and slumber parties for the very adult world of New York City nightclubs, fine dining, shopping sprees and art gallery openings. The lack of parental involvement in their day-to-day lives is glaring, if not disturbing. One baby-faced 15-year-old actually lives alone in an apartment with her teenage brother, while their parents, who live in the Hamptons, drop in for weekend visits. Left to her own devices, she admits to never doing homework and staying out till the wee hours at nightclubs on school nights.
But even those teens who live at home seem to be pursuing a status-conscious New York social scene alone, without the guidance of an adult who could keep them in check. They spend their days and nights texting, scheming, and making clumsy attempts at adult banter that are painful to watch. Despite their cruel superficiality, I can't help feeling sorry for their lost childhoods.
I was 22 when I appeared on MTV's "The Real World." I found that cast members with the strongest family ties fared best. The teens of "NYC Prep" appear to be in over their heads; they have neither the maturity nor the values to survive the experience with their souls intact. It's really not their fault. Witness how they try on clichés and stereotypes borrowed from both the absent adults in their lives and the conniving characters of "Gossip Girl," the hit CW series that inspired "NYC Prep," and that they seem determined to imitate. One teen boasts, without irony, that prep-school kids are "the elite of the elite," while another girl admits that she is excited about a new friendship because it will, "enhance my social status".
Sadly, without the benefit of caring, sensible grown-ups who can set limits and put the privileged world they inhabit in perspective, these teens are being robbed of more than their childhood; they are losing the opportunity and space to develop their character.
In the end, we learn that parenting matters. And that when rich kids grow up too soon, they get all the dysfunction and none of the graces their social status could have imbued.
Why? Because moms know that when it comes to media intake, adults and teens are different. Teens are impressionable and there is a moral hazard in Bravo's not-so teenage look at the lives of privileged New York City private-school kids: The normalization of very bad teen behavior and the insidious cultural pressure on kids to grow up too fast.
But even those teens who live at home seem to be pursuing a status-conscious New York social scene alone, without the guidance of an adult who could keep them in check. They spend their days and nights texting, scheming, and making clumsy attempts at adult banter that are painful to watch. Despite their cruel superficiality, I can't help feeling sorry for their lost childhoods.
I was 22 when I appeared on MTV's "The Real World." I found that cast members with the strongest family ties fared best. The teens of "NYC Prep" appear to be in over their heads; they have neither the maturity nor the values to survive the experience with their souls intact. It's really not their fault. Witness how they try on clichés and stereotypes borrowed from both the absent adults in their lives and the conniving characters of "Gossip Girl," the hit CW series that inspired "NYC Prep," and that they seem determined to imitate. One teen boasts, without irony, that prep-school kids are "the elite of the elite," while another girl admits that she is excited about a new friendship because it will, "enhance my social status".
In the end, we learn that parenting matters. And that when rich kids grow up too soon, they get all the dysfunction and none of the graces their social status could have imbued.
NYC Prep
NYC Prep, Tuesdays on Bravo (10-11 p.m. ET) Pictured: Bottom row, left to right, Camille, Jessie, Kelli, Taylor, standing. Top row, left to right, Sebastian, PC.
Virginia Sherwood, Bravo
Sebastian, far left, and Kelli seated, second from right.
Heidi Gutman, Bravo
Kelli.
Heidi Gutman, Bravo
Camille, left, and Kelli, center.
Heidi Gutman, Bravo
Sebastian, left.
Heidi Gutman, Bravo
Camille, Taylor, and Kelli.
Heidi Gutman, Bravo
Jessie, center.
Heidi Gutman, Bravo
Camille, Kelli and Taylor.
Heidi Gutman, Bravo
Sebastian.
Heidi Gutman, Bravo
Taylor.
Heidi Gutman, Bravo
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 2)
7-14-2009 @ 5:50PM
Melissa said...Right on, Rachel, I really agree with you on this issue. When I was in high school, it was cool to hang with the "popular" kids, sure, but I don't think anyone thought about how it could/would "enhance their social status"! And I certainly didn't know any kids who lived alone while their parents only came home on certain weekends. None of my friends or I were allowed to stay out past 10 or something early like that on weekdays, and weekends were pushed to midnight (if you were lucky!). Trust me, my daughter is staying in public school, and being taught morals, and she won't be going to any nightclubs until she's 25 (ok, I know, I'm crazy to even think that could happen lol)!
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7-19-2009 @ 11:24AM
Susan said...I agree with Rachel. These "Children" are out of control! To say they are spoiled, self-absorbed, immature, and callously superficial does not capture the real tragedy. As a parent you want your children to have character and a foundation to be successful in life. It appears that their parent's are misguided in thinking that MONEY is what will bring success and happiness. Do any of these kids look happy?? They are bigots, racist... "I didn't know Mexican's looked like this" or the many Jewish innuendos. They are rude, mean-spirited, and most insecure about who they are. At 15 & 16 you only have to guess what they will be like as adults. Probably, similar to their parents...
7-14-2009 @ 8:31PM
Katty said...I found the show to be also disturbing and I sort of landed upon it one evening and was mortified as the kids talked about how "casual" sex was and the amount of money they spend. They think that they are so much older than they are and I think its sad to lose out on a piece of your childhood, it is so short as it is.
That being said, as a parent of a private schooler, not all private school kids are like that, my son's school has a great group of kids from all walks of life and I have never witnessed any of that sort of behavior.
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7-14-2009 @ 8:27PM
Sifrina said...Agreed. I watched part of an episode and had to turn away when they were trying so desperately to be cool, disinterested, and adult. As a parent, it just makes me sad to see these kids on NYC Prep because they just seem so adrift, so abandoned. Hey NYC Prep parents - wake up, your kids need YOU (not your trust fund) more than ever!!
This may generate some controversy but studies show that kids with absent fathers (such as when dad is on the road working all the time to support the family) have roughly the same dropout rates, drug use rates, and other problems as those seen in families in the inner city where there is no father presence...
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7-15-2009 @ 11:10AM
Mary Sullivan said...Actually the Real Housewives variations (Orange Co. et al) kind of foreshadowed the NYC Prep show in that some of the RH kids/teens seemed adrift or (in some cases) disturbed. As a parent you hate to always blame parents--yet she without sin cast the first stone...etc.--but in these cases you could pretty much trace the bad behavior and attitudes diretly back to the parenting. As with Housewives, the NYC Prep producers have searched for, and found, some extreme cases of spoiled, messed-up folks to film. The more extreme, the "better" the TV. Having seen the Prep show just once, I agree with Rachel's points. The kids seem especially out of synch with the economic climate and the fact that millions are starving worldwide while they spend obscene amounts on clothing, dining, and partying they're not even old enough to appreciate. But that's a separate issue. As long as there are bad parents, there will be titillating reality TV like this. So I guess we're stuck with it forever.
Mary
http://www.squidoo.com/best-kids-music
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7-19-2009 @ 6:34AM
Marit Londeaux said...I watched in utter disbelief as these children were playacting being adults. Instead of having parties at home they actually have dinner parties at swank restaurants. How "adult" of them. Another thing I noticed is that almost, if not all, of the kids are Jewish. There were several references made to bat mitzvahs and Hanukkah. I wonder if the private school they attend is predominantly Jewish. The only parent that seemed to have any interest in her daughter's activities was the mother of the girl that attended public school. Even so, her daughter seems to be 15 going on 30.
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7-19-2009 @ 3:35PM
Julie said...I agree with Rachel. I do have to say that in my house, if I can't watch a show with my 13yr old daughter, then maybe I shouldn't watch it either. I'm no prude, but I can't see watching trash like any of these "Real Housewives of...." and come away feeling like I benefitted, more like I wasted an hour on garbage. "Guilty" pleasure is completely accurate here for moms who watch this trash and try to block MTV from their kids tv. Maybe I'm crazy, but I just read that weight article here on AOL that said kids likely emulate their parents(fat dad, fat son), so where do you think they get the idea that smut is appropriate. My take? If my daughter comes in the room and I have to change the channel, that's a sign maybe I ought to clean things up, you know? If my teen daughter walks in and I don't change the channel off of some trash I have on, that's a problem too. It really does and always will go back to the parent. Too bad parents are all to quick to cast blame. I'd be the first (no trouble yet thank goodness) to say to my daugher, "Where were YOU when all this was going on" Accountability starts with me, and reality tv like Big Brother, Real House..., take your pick,is harmful to all of us in this house. Anyone who thinks it's a good thing, needs a reality check.
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7-19-2009 @ 7:25AM
jpwork00 said...I've seen the show a few times, I am a Mother and a Grandmother and I really wish somebody would tell these kids that;
1) They are not that cute or beautiful
2) They are not that popular
3) Depending on when this was filmed, they probably aren't that rich anymore!
4) If you are an insenitive Clod at the age of 16, you will be a used up drug addcit loser still living at home when you are 30!
5) I live in The Hamptons, and have daughters and other relatives who live in NYC...................it can be as educational and exciting as you make it.
6) The parents have limited involvement cuz it makes for better TV and at least their kids are wking!
just as an aside, I totally missed the major jewish references mentioned by another poster. What does that mean anyway?
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7-19-2009 @ 9:01AM
J.Devin said...You made out with Puck! Where was your moral compass?
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7-19-2009 @ 9:08AM
allyndp said...See the poll results!!! 67% have ZERO interest. What does that say about the rest of the steerage?
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7-19-2009 @ 9:20AM
Steve said...Ive just seen a little of the show, but if any of that is alcohol they are dtinkink the makers of the show should be arrested for allowing minors to drink.
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7-19-2009 @ 10:39AM
Christine said...Rachel, Excellent, excellent article!
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7-19-2009 @ 11:04AM
G. Roberts said...I watched this sorry ass show once and could not believe how these children acted. I hope their parents are very proud of them. If this is what being rich means I don't want any part of it. Their behavior is appauling and they should be sent to reform school instead of private school. Children drinking booze and getting drunk on national TV is not something any parent should be proud of. If I had a sixteen yr. old child and found out they were drinking trust me they would not be happy - in fact they would be counting their blessing that they were only being sent to a very strick boarding school and loosing the all expensive crap they bought with my money. Parents get a grip on your kids.
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7-19-2009 @ 10:52AM
michele said...I have zero interest in this kind of crap, but I would like to know where Rachel Campos Duffy gets off? She and her husband both got to where they are today due to reality tv.......and at the time, the show they were on pushed many limits, so what is her beef?
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7-19-2009 @ 11:36AM
KElley said...I guess you didn't read the whole article. She never said the problem was reality TV. I guess you are just jealous of her.
7-19-2009 @ 10:57AM
mb said...This show is so FAKE! Bravo is Trash!
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7-19-2009 @ 11:21AM
dherna4760 said...This Show Sucks there is absolutely nothing entertaining about watching rich spoiled kids on tv acting like the world owes them something what they need is real supervivion and love from their parents and keeping their attitudes down to earth its really pathetic to watch .
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7-19-2009 @ 6:32PM
joeinbost said...People they are ACTORS not real people. I grew up in the same town as Boston Rob Canton Mass he got his job since he "knew" a person from CBS. He was a caddy for her in his teens. He was also an intern PAID at the local TV station owned by CBS. Everybody has a connection to the Producers. If it is a Reality show why do they need more than ONE writer THINK ABOUT IT
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7-19-2009 @ 12:04PM
Kristine said...I'm embarassed to admit I watched it, but happy to report it validated how great my middle class life & family is afterall. I wouldn't trade it for that lifestyle in a million years. I'd bury my head in the sand if my kids EVER behaved liked them. They are NOT mature, just the opposite actually. Mature people don't walk around telling other people just how mature they are. And furthermore is it they who are "RICH" or the ignorant parents that let them walk around announcing to world how rich their "family" is. The next Bravo show should be a reality show entitled "Backlash". Film the parents of these kids while trying to clean up the mess they made of these kids lives!
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7-19-2009 @ 12:05PM
Rae Turner said...This is the most sad ,and depressing show I have seen in along time. These kids seem so unhappy and they have no values. It is like they skipped teenage years and went straight to unhappy adult.
It has nothing to do with drugs and acohol but with the lack of guidance and values. Very sad to watch
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