Are You Your Child's Role Model?

Being a good role model does not mean being perfect. Perfection would seem unattainable to a kid, whereas a good role model will show how to handle and learn from successes and mistakes by demonstrating how to deal with both.

Face it girls and boys, when you sign up for the parental duty shift, one of your jobs is that of a role model. You will not be their only one, but you will be one of the most influential whether you like it or not.

Actually, I hoped my kids would make some of my mistakes because I learned a lot from mine, and of course, there is the fact that some were a lot of fun!

DaMoKi

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The idea that we can opt out of being our kids' role models is pretty hilarious. Uh--not a choice! Moreover, anyone who interacts with kids is a role model, whether they choose to be or not. It's not about perfection, but trying not to be a jerk is a reasonable goal.

I kind of understand what DaMoKi is saying--if I could control this (and of course I can't), I'd want the kids--as they become young adults--to make some of my "mistakes" that have been fun, promoted learning, didn't carry serious consequences, didn't harm others, and prepared me for long-term relationships and parenting down the road. (Talking here about the mild wild-oat sowing that marks a healthy young adulthood for many.) Unfortunately, there are variables now that didn't exist when I was 18 or 21--like the way anything you do can now end up on My/Face...etc.

I'm acutely aware of how peers become more important role models as the kids get older....so I try not to blow off chances now to model respect--for self and others. I know I'll still have some influence later, but not as much. There's a difference between saying "I behaved like a jerk--I need to apologize and try to do better next time" and "Oh well--I'm a jerk; what are you gonna do? Let's hope the kids will imitate nicer people than me."

Mary
http://www.squidoo.com/greatfamilymovies

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I think that part of the job of being a parent is accepting that you've also taken on the responsibility of being a role model to your child.

Nobody is perfect, we all make mistakes, but making good choices that can set a good example for your kids is key. Whether or not you realize it, your children are watching what you do an will copy or assume that if something is ok for you to do, then it's ok for them as well.

Our children need stable role models to learn from, the first choice should be the parents, not some media or sports star or friend or neighbor.
It's not an easy job, but one of the most important you will ever have.

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From a very early age, I observed how people of all ages were interacting around me. I knew from how they behaved, that they were unaware of what I was hearing and how well I was understanding. I listened carefully to what was said behind their backs. Without realizing what was happening, I was deciding how I wanted to be perceived in my life. I watched my mother closely and I decided that I wanted to be like her. I loved my father, but resolved never to behave like him.
I'm far from perfect, but as a pre-schooler I knew that poorly-hidden anger hurts. Years later, I realized that from my experience, the damage would last a lifetime. Sadly, my siblings and mother were equally affected; none of us escaped emotional injury.
I learned early on, never to interrupt conversations; show interest in what others say; don't boast about myself (or later about my children); and listen...to adults AND kids. I was taught to speak calmly and quietly, to never demean others or put them down, to TRY understanding both sides of a conflict, to set boundaries without sounding like demands, that the "tone" of one's voice says more than words could ever say, and to avoid "shrew-like" behavior (my mom was a great role-model).
In my opinion we can never be too careful about what our children see and hear...we ARE their role models and they WILL be like us...good and bad!

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i have been thinking about this a lot, as i am writing a blog with all of my (and our families, and strangers) advice for my daughter. a lot of it is advice i did not follow and learned the hard way. i may not be a "role model" in the sense that she should want to emulate me, but i think it's important to share the lessons we've learned and to admit we are flawed, but trying. http://prudentadviceformybabydaughter.blogspot.com

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