Dying Mother Creates 'Masterclass in Motherhood' for Husband

hi nicola it me maribel im deaf , i will pary for yur family and , im so hope god will take care of yurself and yur family, too , i try say to yu im english poor, i love lots all my child , i had kid one ,stonger in faith in god, everytime , chist freind,

I have tears in my eyes as I read this. What a brave and thoughtful mom. How hard it must have been for her to do this knowing that her very young children would have to go on without her.

Her kids are going to know how much their mom loved them when they grow up and see what she did to help their dad raise them. I hope that if the dad remarries, that he will make sure that his second wife doesn't veto any of the first wife's plans for her children.

This is such a sweet and sad story. I was glad to read it though I could only hope that if something happened to me that my husband would carry on in such a way that this father is. It is tough losing a parent I don't care how old you are. My second husband passed away when my daughter was only 12 and she had a really hard time for a couple of years. Even though there are so many terrible things going on in the world today I would rather things like this don't happen but to be honest I would rather read a story like this and sit down and have a good cry rather than read any of the other garbage that is going on. Good luck and may god bless this family.

I had a friend in college whose father had died when she was very small and her mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer when my friend was thirteen. Her mother had five children, ages 11 to 18 and taught them how to take care of the house, pay bills, do routine maintenance, etc. so they could stay together in their house and remain a family after she died. They had an aunt and uncle live with them for awhile after their mother's death, but the children sort of voted them out after a some months and took care of one another after that. They all turned out O.K. Their mother's love kept them going.

Dear Jason, Keaton, and Codi,
Know that many positive thoughts and prayers are with you and your family as God holds your wife/mother as well as each of you in the palm of his hand. Please feel free to contact me here in the US should you need inspiration by e-mailing me at the following e-mail address: jane@yours.com
or leave comments on the guest page at: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/heidi

My mother walked out on us and I was the only girl. I remember my dad trying to do my hair. He put barrettes in my hair and I started yelling. He had accidently closed the plastic clip on my ear. My poor dad was in charge of everything from buying me tampons to giving me advice on guys. This story makes me smile. He'll be just fine and his daughter will love him for just trying, even if he doesn't get it perfect.

I saw this and is crushed me. My husband died very suddenly and and unexpectedly on June 26th. I can certainly take care of the day to day chores but the loss of a parent is wrenching for a child. It is unfortunately very difficult, perhaps impossible to describe the pain of grief which ensues and is impossible to ignore.

I mourn for my husband and my children and myself. I find great comfort, however, in knowing that this pain could not have existed had we not experienced great joy and love for each other.

Everyone has asked what they can do for us and the answer is really nothing. Only time can heal the pain and only faith can make us strong. I wish the best for this family, but know that it is a journey that no friend or relative can ease. It is a personal road that one hopes to never have to take.

My husband's death was sudden and without time to prepare but I truly don't think it would have helped.

God Bless you and hold you in the palm of his hand until you can stand on your own once again.

http://Hello friends this is Prakash Jha fron India this is very heart touching story ,i am just weeping and writing .......
Really this is very sad story but this is also a story of brave mother & Father who wants to carry there responsbility for there childs.
What would be feel when father read that letter and prepairing for birth day to his child..... then every movement she will remembered to jack ............
when his child would grown and read that letter they thought about his mother forthsite and kindness of her heart .

Hi Jason, Keating and Codi,

My heart goes out to all three of you and God Bless you all. Any time you need to talk to a Mom and Gramma, please do not hesitate to e-mail me I am more than willing to offer advice and help. However Jason, your wife seems to have been so selfless in preparing you to raise your children. Take care. mary6428ML83@aol.com

Mary

This is an amazing touching story. I shed tears while reading this. The children had a remarkable mother, and Jason an amazing wife. It took great courage and strength to do this, and Jemma Olive was an incredible woman.

I think I feel like you do, Karen. I would want to prepare special tapes, letters, etc., for milestones in the kids' lives and trust my spouse and kids to figure out most of the details as they get there. But I totally respect the "master class" this mom gave her husband, and you know, I bet it gave her a greater sense of peace while she was doing it. I think in this situation, each woman would need to do what feels right for her emotionally. No woman likes to feel helpless, so you do what you can to combat that feeling. I saw another story about a mom like this who created very detailed instructions for life, but I believe it was directed at her daughter. I remember one part dealt with "choosing a husband," and she said pick someone who is kind but has backbone. Great advice. But she included a lot of very practical stuff, too, like not overdoing makeup...I may be misremembering. Anyway, it felt authentic and was really helpful and comforting for her family.

Mary
http://www.squidoo.com/momwear

When my father became terminal he was able to organize the finances for my mom to live comfortable for awhile and began a letter to her. Unfortunately he passed away before he was able to finish the letter, but every word he wrote was spoken from the heart and was filled with love and meaning.

This story was so touching because I have often thought "what if something happened to me?" My husband would be completely lost in every aspect of the house, finances, and the children. He is an every day part of our lives but he works hard so I can be home with our children. I deal with all the "boring" stuff so he doesn't need to be burdened with that and can enjoy his time with the kids and me.

She was a very strong focused person and a loss to humanity. Best wishes to her children and her husband.

In a perfect world, yes, parenting would come naturally. However, I have seen so many families with parents who should never have children... people who abuse and/or neglect their offspring, etc.

Thank God it's not the case in this family. This woman was so brave. Though I'm sorry for the family's loss, the fact that she went through all this to ensure a smoother transition, is truly beautiful.

Money asks if "parenting comes naturally."
It's a great question. Love of children comes naturally, but parenting...well, that's another story. When asked that question, I often liken it to whether someone would like to live in a home built by a hobbyist or by a general contractor.
In many cultures, there are extensive family support systems, often two or three generations living together. In the US, there is not the same value. Culture and individual families often define or provide the settings for raising children.
In our work at the Toby Center (www.thetobycenter.org), we've found that successful parent do need affirmations, validations and support in providing a continuity and consistency of nurturing and child rearing. This is also true for maintaining a marriage or other love relationship. There is work, but that work is based on one's personal beliefs, experiences, values and self-perception. If we deny our weaknesses and inexperience, then we are at the greatest disadvantage in child rearing and relationships.
But, to embrace all family members, particularly those we respect, will also improve the potential for improving child outcomes.
This becomes all the more important when parental separation and divorce occurs. The need to keep the children in mind and do all that's possible to keep both loving and nurturing parents engaged in that journey of child rearing will lead to more beneficial results for the children. Would that our family courts also agree.