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New Study Says Swearing is Good
Filed under: In The News
Do you curse in front of your kids? Photo: sxc.hu
Well bloody hell. Who doesn't know that? But does that make it okay for you to swear in front of your kids?
The study found that when people stuck their hands in freezing water, they were able to keep them submerged for 40 seconds longer if they screamed out words that they themselves considered to be "curse words." The specific words used varied of course, but "the usual suspects topped the list: s**t, the F word and British slang – bollocks!"
And right there lies the problem with the study. CNN originates in the U.S. By their own standards (which are generally the "community" standards the FCC is always talking about), the "f word" is verboten. But "bollocks" is fine. Why? Because here in the States, "bollocks" isn't a "bad word." But for someone in the U.K., perhaps it is. It isn't the word. It's the honest expression of anger, frustration and pain. If you can express that feeling by saying "oh fudge," then hey, good for you.
Let's get back to the bigger question: Do you swear in front of your kids?
Ultimately, all of the words are just that. Words. But not everyone feels that way. Whether you swear in front of your kids or not, it's important to teach them that not all behavior is appropriate for all situations. Denis Leary does a bit about a meeting he had with his child's teacher, where he was informed that his son had entertained the class with a song. "A... S S... H O... L E..." When asked if he'd heard of this little ditty, Leary replies, "Heard it? I f**kin' wrote it, sweetheart!" (Here's a link to Leary's not safe for work song.)
It's funny in a comedy routine. But most of us probably feel that our kids should watch their mouths in front of their teachers. Even if they happen to stub a toe in class. Using a toothpick is a good way to get food out of your teeth. But not at the dinner table.
What about you? Do you swear in front of your kids?
Brett Singer is the editor-in-chief of DaddyTips.com. You can follow his tweets at Twitter.com/brettsinger.
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
7-17-2009 @ 3:10PM
Melissa said...Well, s**t! It's not okay to f***ing swear in front of my kid? J/K everyone! I don't drop the F bomb a lot anyway, but I certainly don't say it in front of my kid....s**t has been dropped, and b**chin', but that's about it....my kid is three and half and highly gifted, so we try to be careful with the swearing!
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7-17-2009 @ 6:30PM
jen said...OMG - thank you for the link to the funniest video ever!! I just emailed it to all my husband's friends from college who to refuse to grow up!! Gives 'em somethin' to aspire to!!
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7-17-2009 @ 4:22PM
Glenn said...Well f**kin A, bozo! What the F**K? Dumb@$$ b**ch telling the world that f**king swearing in front of kids ain't so bad because words are just words? And what the f**k is he bringing up d*ckhead Dennis Leary for? I don't f***ing get it! Did old Dennis win a f**ing father of the year award making his fatherhood idealology wisdom to live by? Writers who use sh*tty little blurbs about a$$h*** celebs in their stories when it has no real connection to the story really f***ing pi$$ me off! If this dooooshbag writer thinks he's being profound, I got news for him, he's just a stupid@$$ sh*tbrain who don't know cr@p!
Now would you really want your kid to hear ANYONE speak in these terms and believe it's okay because these are JUST WORDS? I think not!
Words are not JUST words. Words can wound, words can hurt, words can heal, words can create and expand and inspire. And if a parent is not careful, words can also become a great disadvantage to a kid who uses them improperly.
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7-17-2009 @ 8:30PM
damoki said...Glenn,
Your last paragraph nailed it.
The only thing I would add is that those parents who do feel words are just words are failing to teach their kids consideration of and empathy for others.
The conclusions of the experiments seem bogus. As described, all it showed was distraction can extend pain tolerance. I wonder if they tried singing, counting back from 1000, or even dancing...
Anyway, good job!
DaMoKi
7-17-2009 @ 7:35PM
maritza said...omgosh! i used to swear alot and i mean alot before, when i was younger! i guess dat was my way of being a rebel lol. but now i just dont see da point in swearing, wel of course if im mad or wat not, but not in my vocabulary no more.
but i would curse infront of my younger sisters and they would always get mad at me for cursing lol it should have been the other way around.
listen to this i use to think it was ok to curse infront of anyone even your teachers! i wanted to be a teacher and i would always say dat i would let my students curse cuz i dint see it as a bad thing. lol thank god i grew up and changed my way of thinking ha?!
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7-17-2009 @ 9:00PM
Michele W said...You got me on this one. I have a very bad mouth and I do sometimes swear in fron t of my son. Hey he is with me 24/7 so I cant be a saint all day. I think it is better for your kid to hear it from you then from some little kid that dont know any better. You as a mom can tell them that it is a bad word but if it comes from a kid it can be a lot worse.
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7-20-2009 @ 5:11PM
barb said...dear michele...actually i think it's just the opposite of what you think. if kids hear bad words from other kids you can say to them "we don't use that kind of language in our home" if the child continues feel free to punish. if the child hears these words from you? well..you are kind of out of luck.
7-18-2009 @ 12:54PM
Frances said...My parents never swore in front of me... except that time my dad got stuck in DuPont Circle on our trip to Washington, D.C. Anyway, dispite never hearing my parents use swear words, I rebelled the only way I knew how... I became an expert in swearing when I was away from home.
Then I grew up and became an elementary school teacher and a mom. In my job, I close my door and whisper I need to let off some steam by dropping an F-bomb or two. My husband, on the other hand, is a contractor and is able to use the f-word as any part of speech!
Even though we both love to swear, we don't in front of the kids. I think it is the lazy way out of a stressful situation. There are a million ways to express yourself without letting go of all your self control and dropping a bomb.
If my my students swear at school, I tell them the"driving words" cautionary tale and tell the kids that unless they have a driver's license are are about to be in a horrible car accident, those words aren't allowed. I tell them that it is not their job to come to school and teach the other kids to use that language inappropriately, because some innocent kid could go home and use that language and get in trouble. Usually, kids understand that and the problem is solved.
One day, my own daughter (6 years old) came home from first grade and asked me to teach her all the swears. When I asked why, she said that a boy at school said a swear and lost his recess. She was afraid of saying one accidentally and losing recess. I told her the driving words explaination, and mentioned that some parents say those emergency words for little things, like spilling coffee or tripping over toys, so kids hear them and think the words are no big deal. I told her that since we don't speak that way in front of her, she didn't have to worry about saying something that would cause her to lose recess. I told her to tell me if someone say something in front of her that she is worried is a "swear". Parents need to just have a little self control, for crying out loud.
See, I didn't swear once, and I could have about a million times.
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7-20-2009 @ 12:59PM
yournontoxiclife said...I call swears "grown up words", because I don't think they are bad, at all. I love those words, and I totally see that they allow me to endure tough situations, whereas without being able to swear (i.e. around my kids) my patience can be limited.
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7-20-2009 @ 4:08PM
Mihir said...i think people are drawing the wrong conclusion from this study. it's not the the actual swearing, it's the emotional state the word(s) create. if your brain had been trained to use a different word, it would have the same effect.
if someone had been raised shouting "monkey-warts!" instead of dropping an F bomb, it would have the same effect on pain tolerance. it's about being able to express your emotional state effectively.
Dr. Gupta of CNN...your article's headline is poorly worded at best. shame on you.
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