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Nudity - Boundaries for Babies?
Filed under: Development/Milestones: Babies, In The News, Development: Big Kids
Do your kids go naked? Photo: nkpix, Flickr
Parents often don't notice their own kids' nudity, especially if they're laid back about it themselves. There's nothing cuter than a baby's chubby bottom, and breastfeeding moms quickly become comfortable with sharing their body with their babies. But as birthdays come and go, nudity becomes an issue in some homes.
"My mother, it used to drive her crazy how naked Ava was," Aly Mandel, mom of five, recently told The New York Times. "My mother-in-law also, they both felt it crossed the line of what was appropriate. My mother-in-law would come in and automatically say, 'Ava, put on your clothes. Put on your underwear.'" Mandel, however, saw nothing wrong with her six-year-old daughter's desire to be naked.
Boundaries aside, are today's parents too worried about what their kids aren't wearing? At The Mommy Files, Amy Graff wonders, "Whatever happened to naked summers?" As soon as they start stripping down en masse, we all get a little uneasy.
It comes down to personal comfort. Kids usually develop modesty all by themselves, in time, and once they do, that needs to be respected. But until then, is it a parents' job to teach modesty or to let them enjoy those few short years of childhood innocence?
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ReaderComments (Page 2 of 10)
7-25-2009 @ 9:11PM
Sarahv said...Hurray for reasonable parenting! All people should feel comfortable in their own homes, and my 3yo daughter (usually in just undies) is no exception. She has learned socially acceptable behavior by example (Mommy and Daddy might be in their undies in the house, but ALWAYS wear clothes when friends visit.) Kids learn the norms that we demonstrate, whether it is appropriate grooming and dress, correct grammar and etiquette, compassion and concern for others, etc. In a time where obesity, eating disorders, and a whole host of unhealthy behaviors and attitudes about our bodies abound, letting kids feel OK and natural in their own skin is the healthiest thing that I can imagine!
7-26-2009 @ 3:39AM
S said...This in response to Sarah's comment. I think it's a little weird when Mommy and Daddy are hanging out in their underwear in front of their children. Something is wrong with that picture. It's one thing for the kids to run around that way, but adults past the age of puberty should be dressed in front of children unless Mom or Dad is in the process of dressing and the child walks in.
7-22-2009 @ 7:35AM
Michelle said...I think it is ok up to a certain age. My son is three and hates to have clothing on. He knows if we are in public he needs them but as soon as we get home it all comes off. I usually try to change that at about the time they are going to start school. I want my son to be modest but have no hang ups about nudity. He also knows that if there is company over that clothes need to be on.
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7-22-2009 @ 8:44AM
Lee said...Children should wear clothes. Especially outside of the home.
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7-22-2009 @ 2:14PM
jack said...Nobody should wear clothes anywhere. Well except for protection from the elements.
7-22-2009 @ 8:22AM
Kimberly said...Children develop a since of modesty on their own. I don't make a big deal out of it at home. My sister and I are total opposites on the issue. She says "If they do it at home, they will do it in public", I say "Even children understand basic modesty, let home be a safe place to express yourself and be comfortable" Her idea works for her, my idea works for me. My children now 8,11 & 15 are very socially appropriate in and out of the house. My 15 year old is the most modest as is age appropriate and only changes in privacy or in front of her sister or me....my 8 yr old still may streak through the house on occasion. Personally, I hate it that something innocent has been made a "big deal".....
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7-22-2009 @ 8:49AM
Frankie said...Time and place. Teach the kids there's a proper time and place for nudity...as well as everything else.
Reply
7-27-2009 @ 2:10PM
lalandra said...I think that it is important to teach your child boundaries. In my house its only my daughter and me. She's allowed to run around the house without clothes...but with undies. If someone stops by, she is to get dressed immediately.
I went to Universal Studios one day and was discusted when a little girl around my daughter's age was running around in the kids area with only her undies. After she was done playing her mom and dad told her to take off her undies and change...AT THE SPOT!!! They didnt even other covering her.
I was taught that a man (even family) should not see a little girl's body. Theres many bad people in this world. Why provoke them.
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7-26-2009 @ 9:49AM
fred said...my experience tops that. I drive a truck and was coming home fron Harrisburg. I stopped in a truck stop for a coffee and a bathroom break. When I finished I turned to wash my hands and there was some guy standing there with his 8 or 10 year old daughter, washing her hands directly in line with the urinals. where is is mind at. when my daughters were that age i stood outside the ladies room waiting for them.
7-25-2009 @ 10:41PM
nikole said...I agree right there in the park isnt a great place to change. You didnt mention the age at all. I remember my mom and aunt changing my bro n cuzin at the beach, and even me changing there. theyd hold a towel up either right on the beach or at the car with the car to shield one side with the towel up on the other.
I dont really agree with the other thing. Is it wrong for a father to see his daughter? So my brother bathing his 3 yr old or changing her diaper is wrong? People are so neurotic...
7-22-2009 @ 9:30AM
Brian Workman said...Wake up people! Forget the sex thing! Ever hear of skin cancer? It's a Fact that skin cancer starts from over exposure to the sun at a very young age, and shows up when your an adult, much later in life! Wake up nudists!! CANCER!!
Reply
7-26-2009 @ 2:07PM
Ted said...I'm 74. Been romping thru life without clothes whenever I can -- or wear as little as can be allowed. Skin cancer4? Not this old guy. Some are destined for it -- guess I'm not.
7-25-2009 @ 8:55PM
Jim said...Skin cancer is not indigenous to all people. Dark skinned natives of many countries do not get skin cancer. So, then what's your point about clothes and for nudists?
7-25-2009 @ 9:20PM
MM said...Speaking of nudity, my dogs LOVE getting dressed. For them
it's a sign that they are going for a WALK !
7-26-2009 @ 1:02AM
Kimberly said...WOW! Skin cancer? from not having clothes on? If that's the case your just as likely to get it in a bikini or one peice swim suit!
7-22-2009 @ 9:26AM
HPAWPAWKISER said...WHAT ABOUT BUILDING MORALS?
Reply
7-22-2009 @ 2:13PM
TINA said...Hp I dont think parents no anything about parenting skills let alone morals.
7-23-2009 @ 12:59PM
Nicola said...How is nudity immoral??? Did God (or whatever supreme being you pray to) not give you this body? Weird line of thinking there.
7-25-2009 @ 8:15PM
Teri said...Children are born with a purity that is lost to adults. There is no morality issue for them. I have photos of my niece at 2 years old, she is stripped down to her skin and playing in the waves on a beach. The photos - the joy on her face - capture the pure innocence of the moment that only a child can experience fully. Ridiculous to think those pics are probably considered child porn these days.
7-25-2009 @ 10:51PM
nikole said...Teri... I agree. Pics like that are so innocent and people who do bad things make everyone else have to be paranoid about what pics they have of their kids. Every person has pics like this of their kids, but now people have to be careful about it cuz theyll have the cops called and itll be all drama. I knw there are sickos out there, but there are a lot of people who are just taking inncoent pics of their kids.
My niece was always given a bath in the kitchen sink so when it came time to try out the bath tub she was petrified. My brother (her dad) put on his bathing suit and jumped in with her to show her it was ok. I sure as heck took pics. It was so cute with them in the tub together...