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Nudity - Boundaries for Babies?
Filed under: Development/Milestones: Babies, In The News, Development: Big Kids
Do your kids go naked? Photo: nkpix, Flickr
Parents often don't notice their own kids' nudity, especially if they're laid back about it themselves. There's nothing cuter than a baby's chubby bottom, and breastfeeding moms quickly become comfortable with sharing their body with their babies. But as birthdays come and go, nudity becomes an issue in some homes.
"My mother, it used to drive her crazy how naked Ava was," Aly Mandel, mom of five, recently told The New York Times. "My mother-in-law also, they both felt it crossed the line of what was appropriate. My mother-in-law would come in and automatically say, 'Ava, put on your clothes. Put on your underwear.'" Mandel, however, saw nothing wrong with her six-year-old daughter's desire to be naked.
Boundaries aside, are today's parents too worried about what their kids aren't wearing? At The Mommy Files, Amy Graff wonders, "Whatever happened to naked summers?" As soon as they start stripping down en masse, we all get a little uneasy.
It comes down to personal comfort. Kids usually develop modesty all by themselves, in time, and once they do, that needs to be respected. But until then, is it a parents' job to teach modesty or to let them enjoy those few short years of childhood innocence?
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ReaderComments (Page 3 of 10)
7-26-2009 @ 6:15AM
Joe said...Baby nudity is moral?
7-22-2009 @ 10:32AM
daniel said...Rom 10:9 For if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.
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7-22-2009 @ 6:44PM
Bo said...Life comes with too many hang ups and guilt trips (Thanks Catholic upbringing). I'm raising my grandson the same way I raised my daughter. Human bodies are beautiful, regardless of shape, size or disfigurement. Nudity in ones own home is just fine. Modesty does eventually arrive on its own with children as experience has taught me.
(PS. daughter is a Medic in Army, hence her not being with her son, to stop all you judgemental folks from assuming something else).
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7-22-2009 @ 12:05PM
Rachel said...Bo, good for you and your daughter and i am sure your grandson will be a neat person who respects women
7-22-2009 @ 7:37PM
H said...My biggest concern would be that children at a young age are too comfortable with taking their clothes off. I'm sure many of the families who have commented have a discussion with their kids, but it's the actions that will stick with them. If they are allowed to take their clothing off at home, they may not think twice if a stranger, or even a family friend asks them to strip down when mom and dad aren't around. They may remember that it's okay because they do it at home.
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7-22-2009 @ 11:33AM
Just Me said...I agree with some of what you said, but being a nudist myself, I know that children brought up respecting their own bodies, seem much more at ease and more accepting with others. Even the teenagers at the camps are very respecting towards everyone. When they date, they already know what their getting in their partners as a packaged deal, so why worry about what's under the clothes. Everyone is the same status and there's no hiding what your presenting.
Children DO grow up and become modest of themselves, but parents need to nurture their children's thoughts as well as their minds.
Why have kids grow up ashamed of what they look like nude? What kind of a relationship will they have when they grow up? I feel that kids who are in a "prudish" home raise their kids up that way.
If the kids have good values and are taught the basics as far as no lying, stealing and harming others, then those will grow to be amazing people because the 3 No-no's embrace it all.
7-22-2009 @ 11:10AM
oscar said...Childrens nudity is not a problem, kids develope their modest on their own. The big problem is the adult perverts that are around the kids.
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7-25-2009 @ 10:04PM
michael said...Nudity is fine as long as its in privacy of your own home. Children of course need boundaries in this matter. But lets not make them believe every person out there is a pedophile or pervert just waiting to pounce on them. Teach them not only to be respectful of themselves and be proud of their bodies but of others as well. I agree they all develop their own sense of modesty as they grow. So let that develop naturally and allow them to be natural and let them be innocent as long as possible. Because trust me as they grow and learn they will find innocence is bound to be lost eventually..
7-22-2009 @ 11:31AM
Wanda said...Should parents allow their kids to go nude? Here's a better question: Should AOL start writing articles about something that matters?
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7-22-2009 @ 11:55AM
stephen hull said...Nudity is fine at home. We put towels on the furniture at home for the bare bottoms. My daughters have a girlfriend whose mother lets them swim nude in their back yard pool. The pool has a tall fence around it and no one can see over the pool. So the girls, their girlfriends, and their girl friends mother swim nude. I see no problem with that.
At public beaches bathing suit's are appropriate. It really depends on the culture. Our son and daughters have very good body image's and are modest when the situation calls for it. Our culture is too hung up on body image, thus all the girls trying to diet at age 9 and 10. We teach our children all people are beautiful, no matter the disfigurement.
If you make a big deal about nudity and sex, then sex and nudity becomes a problem. We know their are perverts out their, so we watch our children, and pick the right time and place for them to enjoy the freedom of their bodies with little or no clothes. As parents we just have to be aware of the dangers and make the right choices. We also make sure our children are covered head to toe with PF 50 and do wear a hat or cover up in the sun. We don't want them to end up with skin cancer.
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7-22-2009 @ 1:16PM
Kathleen said...Thank you!!!!!!!!
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7-22-2009 @ 11:56AM
mage0213 said...Let the babies grow, set limits and all will work out fine!!!!
OMG--> senstationalism at it's worst, is there a line of logic here? I think ANY child knows that they need to cover their bodies in front of strangers- This happens quite early in their lives, this is why when on a dr visit the baby is checked not head to toe as an adult, but rather toe to head as the child will be wary of anyone they don't know touching them anyway, the child has an ingrown sense of what is right and what is wrong, though they may not quite understand it- it will undoubtedly surface as a feeling that something isn't quite right but they will understand much more than you may think
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7-28-2009 @ 12:49AM
Jesse said...This is really not a moral issue, it's a cultural or social issue. If it makes the parents uncomfortable, then it's okay to set some limits. If everyone is comfortable with it, then it really isn't an issue. Personally, I don't think that a child should be taught to feel shame about their own God given body, but as they get older, they do need to be taught how to protect it.
Most of the people commenting here seem reasonable, but a few of you are really extreme. Why such hatred and fear of a perfectly natural thing? "teaching their kids how to be skanks..." ?? Give me a break! We need to think more about freeing our own minds so we can let our children be free. Do you remember what you felt when your precious baby was born? Was it "Please cover that child up!?"
7-22-2009 @ 12:16PM
diane h said...Never trust people who curse,,, the devil does also. Change, don't attack the messenger.
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7-26-2009 @ 6:21AM
Joe said...The devil? Give us all a break. How old are you, five?
7-22-2009 @ 12:37PM
Jerry Lynn said...Society makes nude ugly. My wife and I live on our very secluded ranch, and raised three children, now all grown and all nudist...when we did not have company or guests. We worked hard and dusty all day doing ranch chores, but when work was over, it was shower time under our outdoor shower and nude in the pool for the five of us. Our children did not grow up to be perverts as some church folks would have you believe. In fact, among the three children, we have a PhD, and two MD's. Now in our early sixties, my size 4 wife and I are still nudist.
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7-22-2009 @ 12:39PM
Jenny said...We're a family of four: two adults and two mid-teen kids: one boy, one girl. Our home is clothing-optional, and we're all usually nude. That's sensible, practical, comfortable, healthful, inexpensive, and environmentally responsible. As for visitors, what we do depends on who the visitors are. Many of our friends are nudists and most others are nudity-friendly. For those, we are as we happen to be. A few friends are uptight textiles with oodles of hangups and all the usual misconceptions, but we don't invite that kind to our home very often. When we do, we dress to avoid having to listen to the silly stuff such people say. A lot of the silly stuff has been said by posters above. It's astounding to me how many people have strong views on topics they know nothing about.
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7-22-2009 @ 1:16PM
Jennifer Allen said...Bethany Sanders writes:
"But, as Jezebel points out, there are plenty of reasons to at least have a few boundaries when it comes to nudity: Only in the house, for instance, or never in front of company."
No reasons are given, except that some other people get uptight, and no reasons are given as to why other people get uptight. Slavish conformance to other people's irrational mores doesn't make any sense at all. If some people have irrational hangups, must we all follow suit?
"Or as Magda at Ask Moxie says, "No bare butts on the couch."
How ignorant! Nudists sit on towels. Nudists also wash.
"As soon as they start stripping down en masse, we all get a little uneasy."
That's flatly false. We don't ALL get uneasy.
"It comes down to personal comfort. Kids usually develop modesty all by themselves, in time, and once they do, that needs to be respected.
One doubts that author Sanders can justify the implication that modesty equates to clothes.
"But until then, is it a parents' job to teach modesty or to let them enjoy those few short years of childhood innocence?"
As nudists, we teach true modesty. Modesty is an attitude. It is not achieved with cloth.
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7-22-2009 @ 2:03PM
kayoss said...I find it entertaining how many "Christ-Crispies" (as opposed to Christians who actually have read and understand the messages in the Bible, which unfortunately seem to be a vanishing breed in our society) spout off religious justifications for their own repression. If God felt that babies should be always in clothing, why did He create them nude?
also, there are, if anything, fewer sexual predators today than there were in the past - it is just that we acknowledge that they exist now, whereas, due to the same repression that the "babies must wear clothing" crowd represent, they were "just not talked about" when this repressive mindset had control.
For instance, my grandfather, back when my mom was a kid, was a severe predator. He was a teacher in the public schools and got one of his students pregnant. The response by the school at the time was to kick the pregnant girl out of the school. No charges were filed against my grandfather (at least not until several decades later when he was caught molesting his 7 and 10 year old stepdaughters)
This is not an atypical story by any means.
Before trying to pass on your own sexual hangups on your kids (although to equate being in one's natural God-made state is not sexual, enforcing shame about the way you were made is an obvious result of sexual hang-ups) I would strongly reccomend reading Wilhelm Reich's The Mass Psychology Of Fascism, so you can see what kind of a world you are working to create when you pass your own pathological repression on to the next generation.
7-22-2009 @ 2:06PM
Sue said...I wish people would lighten up. We all set our own comfort level for nudity....my daughters have had different ages they became more modest. The youngest is 8, and she's just starting to want underwear on all the time. If it's a healthy household, and there aren't outside factors (i.e. step-siblings of the opposite sex, etc) then it's fine...they will set their boundries...
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