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'Orphan' Angers Adoptive Parents
Filed under: Adoption, In The News, Media
New horror flick upsets adoptive parents. CREDIT: imbd.com
In fact, the outcry was so strong that Warner Brothers removed one particularly hurtful line from the movie's trailer: "It must be hard to love an adopted child as much as your own."
Katie Page Sander, Domestic Adoption Programs Coordinator for Hands Across the Water in Ann Arbor, MI, tells ParentDish that the damaging language isn't just limited to ticket buyers. "Orphan is kind of a loaded word," says Sander. It has "negative connotations."
Sander worries that the movie will enforce false stereotypes about adopted children, an issue she confronts every day.
As Melissa Fay Greene points out at The Daily Beast, the movie -- just like those myths -- has no basis in reality.
"The trailer gives the impression that any couple with a yen for 'a replacement child' (as this psychologically unhealthy practice is known) can stroll into an orphanage, pick one out, and take her home," writes Greene. Greene, who is herself an adoptive parent, is incensed by this portrayal: "Even civic groups who want to 'Adopt a Highway' fill out a few forms first."
But as we learned from the movie "Jaws," it only takes a myth to scare people out of the water, and, in this case, away from adopting the world's most vulnerable kids.
"Esther's shadowy past includes Eastern Europe," writes Greene. "She appears normal and sweet, but quickly turns violent and cruel, especially toward her mother. These are clichés. This is the baggage with which we saddle abandoned, orphaned, or disabled children given a fresh start at family life."
Adoptive parents aren't just rallying against ignorant stereotypes, they're using it as a platform to educate others about older-child adoption. And in the meantime, parents of adoptive children will surely get questions from their kids about "Orphan."
"It just has to be part of an ongoing dialogue you have with your child about adoption," says Sander. "The movie shouldn't be a catalyst for a new discussion, rather just a continuation of a discussion about 'isms.' People have all sorts of prejudices and adoption is no exception. Things will come up and you will have to continually discuss adoption and related issues with your child."
Will you go see "Orphan?" Do you think that it's damaging to the adoption cause? O,r do you think it's just another horror flick, meant to be merely entertainment and nothing more?
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 81)
7-21-2009 @ 9:19PM
isisaquaria said...IT IS A MOVIE.....just like Transformers, Twilight, Saw, Nightmare on Elm Street
Anyone who believes it is a realistic approach to adoption doesn't need to see it. But, just like the reason to go see any movie or read any book--it is for entertainment.
Reply
7-22-2009 @ 6:42AM
nikole said...People need to get the sticks out of their butts and if you dont like it or the message dont watch it!
7-22-2009 @ 2:17AM
IamMommaBear said...Teens everywhere are asking the question "who am I"? For the most helpless population of people in America, the title "Orphan" as a thriller does not help their assessment of themselves. These children do not look into mirrors to see themselves as individuals, they look into the eyes of the world to see what is reflected there. The existence and promotion of this movie supports the suggestion that adoptees are evil. These children already have shattered lives. Open advertisements on television and the internet for this movie, does not entertain but makes them feel that they are considered substandard and deviant. They already felt that way. They have already been humiliated and degraded enough. The only people who have a right to say that this movie is offensive or not are those who are so low on the totem pole that they have no voice.
People are saying that this movie is for entertainment only. I have been told that the girl is supposed to be older than she looks. It doesn't matter. It preys upon the fears of the public and exploits the circumstances of children who have already have an uphill battle. This movie and it's trailers provide a very negative very public suggestion that adoption is bad. What does this do for the children waiting for families? This is a population of defenseless children. Its ironic in the time of Political Correctness that we can still ignore the needs and show the disrespect to the most helpless.
For those who can say that they can separate entertainment from real life you should try to walk a mile in the shoes of a foster child. Better yet become a volunteer to help waiting children find families. Even better, adopt an older child or a group of siblings. That is a true adventure, as an adoptive mother, I highly recommend.
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7-22-2009 @ 6:44AM
Brianna said...I was an abused child and preferred to be beaten, a familiar pain than to face possible rape or worse in a foster or adoptive home. I know how scary life is for an unwanted child.
I would have loved to adopt myself but had crappy men in my life. And now I am single and do not make enough money to support a child.
I can separate reality from fiction and no stupid movie is going to stop me from still hoping that someday I can at least foster.
7-22-2009 @ 6:58AM
Jessi said...Oh come on, man~
Kids aren't just these mindless, courageless, weak little things that need to be coddled and kept safe thier entire lives!
That's just outright stupid, come on.
Hey, I can sympathise if you're an adoptive parent, that's cool, you've done a great thing, and I mean, with a really close couple of friends having been adopted, I understand that it's hard for them.
But as humans they grow up, and with the right parentin, they adjust.
Everyone's always going to have advercity in thier life, best to make sure children understand that, and that really, it's not the end of the world.
Adopted or not, ever kid goes through absoulte hell in school, and in life.
It's not something debilitating unless you let it be.
Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.
And really, you're being incredibly dramatic;
"It preys upon the fears of the public and exploits the circumstances of children who have already have an uphill battle."
'Cause yeah, of course that was the promoters and filmakers intent;
To make every adopted kid in america feel like shit.
That's an idiotic thought.
It's just a damn movie, ma'am.
If you really have this view, and you're really the mother of children you still have to raise, I highly reccomend you put down the parenting help books and gain some natural maternal instinct, and furthermore, common sence.
I may just be a dumb kid of 15, but I know I'd find you seriously immature and dramatic if you were to be my mother, and have this reason for you not letting me see this movie, or if we were to talk about it 'cause I had a question.
"This movie and it's trailers provide a very negative very public suggestion that adoption is bad."
-If you have no ability to think on your own.
I highly doubt this movie is going to be the downfall of adoption nationwide.
And to your last statment, like I said, one of my very best friends was adopted, and we're very close. I've had other adopted friends.
I know well enough that if raised correctly, and taught the difference between entertainment and exsploitation, it's just a damn movie.
As for us kids,
We'll be seeing the movie when we get the chance.
7-22-2009 @ 7:11AM
chrissy said...It is only a movie. People that cannot differentiate between real and fiction need to see a shrink. There are plenty of movies that may be offensive to some but they are not real life. Just a movie. If it bothers some then don't watch it. The rest of us that are not dillusional and know the difference will watch it without it changing their outlook on adoption. God bless those that open their homes to these worthy children and keep doing so but a movie is just a movie, not real life. Adoptive parents are a blessing in most cases but I know of cases, one in particular where the adopted chind is scared today because of horrible physical and sexual abuse at the hands of their adoptive parents.
Chrissy
7-22-2009 @ 7:18AM
lar said...lighten up Francis.
7-22-2009 @ 8:48AM
sarah said...In the time of Political Correctness?? what the hell is wrong with you? do you know how binding that is? what about in the time of freedom of speech and self expression? Stop being so confining..Sex is full of lies. The body tries to tell the truth. But, it's usually too battered with rules to be heard, and bound with pretenses so it can hardly move. We cripple ourselves with lies. Jim morrison said that..stop crippling yourself with ignorance and binding yourself with "political correctness"
7-22-2009 @ 12:49PM
Tom said...again... you need to just stop talking because you have no idea what you are saying. Cry in your pillow if you need to, but a movie is still just a movie. Are we now going to stop making movies because 1% of us may take it too literal. F that.
7-22-2009 @ 9:18AM
obama2012 said...im 12. No one cares if a person is adopted or not. I know plenty of kids who are adopted, no one persicutes them because they are adopted. This movie is just a movie, it wont change people minds about adoption. People who would adopt would still adopt, a fiction horror film woulnt change their mind.
7-22-2009 @ 5:01PM
Dimitri V. Belikov said...Hm. Read my other comment.
8-02-2009 @ 12:06PM
GRANDMA said...DEAR MOMMA BEAR.
I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH YOUR COMENT. I HAD WORKED WITH STREET CHILDREN FOR YEARS AN STILL HAVE 7 OF THEM .ALL ADULTS AND WELL INTO SOCIETY NOW. I CAN TELL PEOPLE THAT IF ONLY FOR A LITLLE MOMENT THEY CAN FIT INTO THIS CHILDREN SHOES, THEY WILL NOT TALK SO LIGHT ABOUT THE ISSUE.
YES, SOME OF THEM ARE VERY DIFICULT, BUT LOVE, CAN CHANGE THEIR LIVES. MOST PEOPLE DO NOT NEED TO BE DIASSCOURAGED WITH THIS TYPE OF MESSAGES TO ADOPT AN ORPHAN,
7-22-2009 @ 6:16AM
bob said...whats hurtfull is the cost of of adopting a child close to 30.000 also the chance that the mother or the father will come and clame the child after you have raised them for years thats hurtfull the system is broke .. I should know I have a brother who adopted and a few years down the road their son was taken away cause the drugy mother turned a new leaf .she didnt she was areested for selling and the worst part they couldnt get their son back .thats the real horror .
Reply
7-22-2009 @ 6:22AM
misscopar said...If we believe everything the movies say we wouldn't have any entertainment. People in this world take things too far and like to ruin things for everyone else. I like horror movies and if you don't then don't watch it. Wolfman and the mummy and dracula are real then and they might come and get me Oh my I'm scared Please people get a life and quit bitchin
Reply
7-22-2009 @ 6:25AM
Deb said...As an adoptee myself, I truly believe the movie was meant just for entertainment purposes. The debates around adoption have been or should have been going for decades. There are lots of myths about adoption, but there are also those who paint an unduly rosy picture of it as well. Anytime a child has to be placed with and adoptive family, the situation is difficult for everyone: the child, the adoptive family, and the biological parents. Those who are offended by the movie really don't have to go see it, and should most likely check themselves to search for the true reasons for their strong reactions. As a person who's adoptive father sexually and physically abused me, I plan to go see the movie.............it's entertainment.
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7-22-2009 @ 6:38AM
Lakes said...I agree its a hateful film and to think of it as entertainment is disgusting. But some peoples idea of this is reinforced in movies like Cinderalla and Snow White.
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7-22-2009 @ 6:22AM
chris said...People who cannot understand that this is a work of fiction should not be allowed to adopt-
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7-22-2009 @ 6:43AM
Brianna said...The movie "The Ring" did not stop anyone from popping out a baby. It sucked as a contraceptive LOL.
This is a tired age old theme. There have been many stories and then movies about this throughout history. Oedipus anyone? And the practice of adoption continues. Anyone that believes this is a true story and has second thoughts about adopting is an ignorant fool and does not deserve to be able to adopt a child.
Why would any agency want any child to end up in the home of an ignorant fool? Let them watch and be scared away. Children deserve a home with intelligent parents who can separate movie entertainment from reality.
Reply
7-22-2009 @ 6:35AM
Brutuss100 said...This country is filled with a bunch of "nancy-boy" critics just trying to make a name for themselves for 15 minutes of fame. Get over yourselves, have a drink, or whatever it is you do, then shut the f*** up! Nobody cares what you you panzies have to say. You were raised by insecure parents and were probably victimized in school for your lack of popularity, and now is your chance to exact revenge on those in this world who truly 'get it'. So.... go back to your lonely/empty cubicle, assume the fetal position and suck your thumb so the normal people can get on with enjoying their fulfilling lives.
Reply
7-22-2009 @ 9:01AM
Richelle said...LOL--- Totally agree that describes the miserable pantywastes starting all this nonsense.