Soldier Returns Home to Custody Battle

by Amy Hatch (Subscribe to Amy Hatch's posts) Sep 2nd 2009 3:07PM

Categories: Divorce & Custody, In The News

Leydi Mendoza, left, spent 10 months serving in Iraq; now she's fighting for custody of her daughter. Credit: Juan Arredondo, The New York Times / Redux

A 22-year-old returning soldier locked in a harrowing custody battle was granted visitation with her 2-year old daughter this week while the court considers the child's future.

It's a soldier's worst nightmare: Returning home from military deployment only to find herself without her children. That's exactly what happened to Leydi Mendoza, a specialist with the New Jersey National Guard. The mom-soldier, who returned home from Iraq in May, is fighting for custody of her 2-year-old daughter, Elizabeth. The battle began when the child's father, Daniel Llares, decided that allowing Mendoza joint custody would be too disruptive for their toddler, according to a story in The New York Times.

Llares' lawyer, Amy Lefkowitz, told The New York Times that her client believes it is disruptive for Elizabeth to spend more than a few hours at a time with "a mother she doesn't really know or recognize that well."

Passaic County Family Court Judge George Rohde granted Mendoza daily visits with her daughter until the legal dispute is fully resolved. She will also be allowed to have her daughter for weekend sleepovers, according to an Associated Press report.

"It was hard," Mendoza told The Associated Press. "I'm just glad the judge granted me these visitation days."

Several of Mendoza's fellow soldiers attended the hearing, dressed in fatigues and combat boots, to support their friend.

The young woman, who is studying to be a math teacher, has already racked up more than $6,000 in legal bills, according to The New York Times.

Master Sgt. Minnie Hiller-Cousins, a National Guard family assistance coordinator, helped create the family care plan for Mendoza and Llares, which gave Llares temporary custody of Elizabeth while Mendoza was serving in Iraq. The plan also stipulated that the two parents would resume joint custody upon Mendoza's return home.

The military does not, however, enforce the plan.

Hiller-Cousins told the AP that the case highlights one of a soldier's many fears: That they will come home only to find their jobs, houses and children have slipped away.

"When a soldier comes home, the first thing they want to see is their family," Hiller-Cousins told the AP. "People were kissing and hugging all around, and (Mendoza) was standing there by herself."

The final custody agreement for Elizabeth has not yet been settled, but for now the child is reunited with her mother, who planned to serve spaghetti -- the toddler's favorite dish -- for their first mother-daughter dinner.

Should the military be responsible for creating and enforcing custody agreements for soldiers?

Source

Comments (299)

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 15)

moshimoshi 9-02-2009 @ 4:09PM

It is required of a single parent or joint military member to supply a Family Care Plan. The consequences for that is a discharge out of the military. It is an awful cruel feeling when someone, (usually a family member), uses your deployment to sabotage your life, (and it happens a lot). So, my answer to this question would be why the heck not? In a case like this and many others, the military should at the very least have the control to assist in the defense of the soldier without incurring an insane amount of fees. The legal system is so bogus I am appaled this lady had to go through all this red tape and poor thing for the child also...shame on the father!!! If he was any kind of a human, he would atleast have the balls to wait till she got back but, he probably knew he had no case because clearly he is an idiot. I hope he was made to pay her fees for this nonsense!

Carol 9-02-2009 @ 7:59PM

I am a grandmother that has helped my daughter and others, both male and female, in custody battles. In this case, you are right that the military should be required to assist in the defense of its members actively serving. This is a classic case of a father not thinking of the best interest of the child which I think should be joint custody as was agreed upon before she left. The father is a coward in the first degree.

sue 9-06-2009 @ 2:20PM

I agree that act alone should be criminal against the father. What kind of man???that burns me up.

Charlie 9-06-2009 @ 2:31PM

Why does our legal system, get away with calling a parents time with their child a visitation time. I find it awful. The legal progessionals really care little about the interests of the child or the parents. They are instead intuned to thier future in gthe political world.

Parents, Parent Their Children, parents do not visit with their children. The legal system should be refering to a childs time with a parent as parenting time. It is time Judges, Lawyers, and Reporters grow up to the fact.

ruthygutierrez4 9-06-2009 @ 2:50PM

I do think that the military should help our soldiers when comes to keep custody with thier kids. After all they are fighting for all our lives to keep us safe. It really brakes my heart when families of a soldier just leave them while they are gone fighting for our country, I know it can be hard to deal with and it's a struggle but if it weren't for these soldiers fighting for our safty were would the country be. They need to have that reasurance that when they get home they can at least have their kids to come home to if not their families it gives then more reason to want to come back home. Thank you to all of the brave men & women who are giving up so much just to keep this country safe Thank you very much.

Ruthy
So.Cal

Yuana 9-06-2009 @ 3:51PM

The military didn't make the person have a child and they do say they can get out, but why try to get another free ride by trying to use the military. Thats whats wrong these days. The ladies want to lay down make the babies then have the world pay for their life they chose to live.

jax 9-06-2009 @ 3:23PM

Okay. The military should not take new mothers and put them in the service. It was wrong for this woman to abandon her child for such a long period of time. What kind of mother does this???? This should be grounds alone for the Farther get custody. And I do not think that the military should get involved with domestic issues. I have no problem with woman in the military but taking "mothers " in the military
is wrong. She could have just as well gotten killed serving. She did not care about her daughter when she enlisted so why such the boohoo now.

tjg 9-06-2009 @ 3:32PM

It only matters when a "poor defenseless woman" get taken advantage of by the system but what about the men who have been greiving about such law suits ever since these matters have been primarily settled by the courts?

Dalord 9-06-2009 @ 3:51PM

All that you're saying is fine and dandy. I just HOPE that if it was the other way around that you would feel just the same.

Paula 9-06-2009 @ 3:47PM

All that I have to say is that why is this case any different from all the MEN who return home from deployment and find that their wives have ripped their family apart by filing for divorce and taking his child some place else. This article should reflect all military not just this WOMAN'S battle

jr 9-06-2009 @ 4:40PM

I feel sorry for this lady.But the military does not and never has wanted married personel no matter what they say.This reminds me of a friend of mine ret.navy.His wife left him for another man while he was deployed she divorced him and he was not allowed to get off ship to go to the custody hearing.So she got custody.When he was on shore duty for 2 yrs she traded him custody of their son for the color tv,in front of social services.He got custody remarried everything fine for acouple years until he had to go out on ship again.She didn't like new wife and paying child support so filed and got custody again while he was at sea.Military response you can't leave ship to go to custody battle again.So she got custody and child support way more per month than she ever had to pay him.

pryrchngsthngs 9-06-2009 @ 4:11PM

That is so unfair. You fight for a country that won't fight for you. The military should enforce custody agreements between parents or not deploy single mothers or fathers with children. If her being a soldier will cause her to lose what she is fighting for, then where is the benefit of the fight?

Will Myatt 10-20-2009 @ 1:30AM

The lady risked her life for hers amd and my country and what do we do? Nothing! We treat her like she's a traitor, SHAME ON US!
Let's do what we can for her and let her have joint custody of her kid.
That's my story and I'm stickin to it.
Will
PS I can think of a few things I would like to do to the father.

JJ 9-06-2009 @ 4:33PM

The father should be taken out and horse whipped!! Why the hell is he not serving?? Talk about an ambush from behind!!

JJ 9-16-2009 @ 3:38PM

Sorry, but I served for 22 years and found that the military, same as all of our government does nothing but use you and the discard. She is one hell of a woman tied to a spineless whimp. I hope and pray that the judge(which I doubt) will do the right thing and give her full custody and let the spineless whimp be on the other side.

abshiflett1989 9-06-2009 @ 5:30PM

Doing that to some-one is a sin. Our soldiers go to war to fight for our freedom, only to have their freedom stripped away while preserving ours. It's shameful that we as people have the evil in us to do such a thing.

Raymond Fischer 9-06-2009 @ 5:56PM

Yes the military since they set up the program, need to follow through and get behind their service people and support them when they return home...
If the military abandons their own, they will find it harder to get anyone to join in the future knowing that the military will abandon them whenever they can. !!!

Phyllis Catton 9-06-2009 @ 6:56PM

I agree with moshimoshi, wholeheartily. The father is a loser for putting her through all this. The military should have to stand by the soldiers serving our country.

Pamela 9-06-2009 @ 7:27PM

I feel that spouses should not be able to file for divorces while the partners are out of the country. A local man who worked for the government in Iraq came home just a few days ago because his wife told him over the telephone that she was filing for a divorce & now that man is dead. He was shot by a 19 year old friend of the family. He had 2 sons that will now grow up without their father & the 19 year old man that shot him has ruined his life by shooting him with a sawed of shotgun. Oh, by the way the newly widowed wife gets the deceased husband's life insurance of 1/2 million dollars. The man would has been better off if he had stayed in Iraq if there were laws in place to protect him while he was making a living for his family.