Mother Never Told Dying Daughter End Was Near

I responded to the vote, but I was also a little wary of them posing the question. Most people will judge and isn't fair to that family. Unless you have gone through it you don't know what it's like.

That being said, I have never been through it, I lost my first child while she was still in the womb. But I tried to put myself in this woman's position, and I will tell you, I voted "Maybe" on this, because it really depends on the age and maturity of a child. With a seven year old, it seems like the right thing NOT to tell him and treat him just normally as you do your other children. With a 13 year old, I feel like it was also the right decision, because what teenager could handle that??

Is your son still living? Either way, blessings and prayers to you and your family.

i agree with you susan, and melissa. i simply didn't even answer the question. i can't. i've never been in that situation. i have no idea how i would react, or what i would or wouldn't do. that is just something that has to be answered on an individual basis....family dynamics, age, maturity,circumstances, etc....it's like a finger print,...they are all different. not one is alike. some are similiar. but, i'm a mother of 4. and all too many times i've said things like "why are they letting that kid scream in the store like that?!"...and, then, the next day, i take my "perfect child" in the store...and they start screaming. and of course being the "perfect parent"...i try to get them to stop,and it only gets worse. so....things like that have happened to me way to many times, and i just sometimes think it's Gods way of saying "get the plank out of your own eye first". He has found ways to keep my judgment in check. Thank goodness! i've learned to be a much more compassionate person, wife, and mother. hopefully, i'm teaching my children that too. i can not even imagine what it would be like to loose a child, whether in the womb, or in old age. i'm sure it's something that is even difficult to put into words.
Blessings and prayer to both of you....

I agree with you 100% , I am sorry that you had to go through that.
my prayers are with you.

Bravo Susan... Excellent comments...

What a heroic thing for a parent to do. I applaud you

Susan, you are a brave woman. When my Daughter Mikella Sue was murdered by the babysitter in Las vegas NV, she was on life support for 23 days, the night before we finally agreed to take her off life support, a brave young man age 8 with terminal cancer told me in front of his mother named Susan, that he had been with Mikella last night and she was alright I shouldnt worry because he was going into Heaven and stay with her till I could come join her and Raise her in Heaven. I cannot begin to tell you how deeply that touched my very soul. The boy died later that same night, his mother called and told us at sometime after 3: A.M. God bless his mother wherever she is today, and he is already a forever blessed Angel now. Amen, True Story! (C) MLW 1991-2009 reserved

I voted no i wouldnt tell,I had a mom who died i was there through it all, her and i talked about her dying 1 time she said she knows shes dying and doesnt need to be reminded everyday. I know its not the same as losing a child but what she said stays with me, that is why i wouldnt tell.

Does that mean that they did not seek treatment for the multiple myeloma? There are treatments for this disease. I assume since the daughter did not know of her diagnosis, that means they did not, or she would have known. The family Dr.'s diagnosis that she would only live 6 months was wrong. I hope they sought an expert in the field, and did all they could for this girl.

Susan:

I know the feeling because I lived it too but in this case I was the child that heard that i might die turning into puberty. When i was 5 years old, I was diagnosed with children's leukemia. When i was nine years old I got a bad relapsed and I overheard the doctors tell my mother that the most I could live was until age 13. My mother and doctor never knew I was awake listening. (One thing I learned is, never discuss anything in front of a child just because you believe the child cannot hear you.) Well, my mother kept it as a secret and so did I. I am 53 years old and I'm still living. Thanks to God and my mother and family that never gave up and continued to take me from doctor to doctors and from treatment to treatment. My adolescense years were a mess and I always kept my hope in God and in medicine. Today, i am a professional woman and mother of a 35 years old son and a 17 years old daughter. I applaud you for not telling your child. I encourage you to continue to have faith and feel proud for the decision you made. may God Bless you and familly. Cleo

Well said Susan....

I admire your courage and conviction. I know what you did was hard but I also think it was the right thing to do. All the pain and hardship you spared your daughter was because you loved her so much. All Mothers should be as courageous as you were. I know your daughter appreicated what you did for her.

Susan,

You are so right. My godson was diagnosed with stage iv neuroblastoma in 2/07 at age three. He is doing WELL, and while we have never hidden from him the fact that he has a very serious illness, he is a little boy. We want him to do all the "little boy" things and have seen to it that he has had the opportunity to do them. He started school yesterday.

A little friend of ours was sent home to die from leukemia 3 months ago, told that he probably had only weeks to live. He, too, is doing well and started school yesterday!

Any one of us could die at any moment. Life is for the living. I see no purpose in telling a seriously ill child that he/she is going to die, because we can't make that call.

I have a son that was born with Dandy Walker Syndrome, it is a type of cancer. We found this out when he was a baby. They said he would never be a teen, and said he would never be able to play sports. He is now 20yrs old, we told him about his sickness when he was 11 years old.

It did not surprise us when he let us know he was not going to set around, and wait to die. One day I asked him why he made this statement? He said that our family never treated him like he was about do die, he was not going to act like it now.

Before you judge this mother look at your child and ask yourself what would you do?. Could you tell your child that they are about to die and give up on having dreams, or let them live the life they have left. (you will also remember that in some cases the doctors may be wrong about the time they have left).

You are brave , kind hearted and my congratulations for supporting your kids and letting them enjoy their life with no fear of death.
Parents like you are rare to find, your love is immense and my heart cries for your loss , but; appreciate your generosity for sharing your story with us.
God Bless you and your family.

i totally agree with the parent. why should you have a child wondering if "today is the day" for the rest of her life. this is a proven fact; MAN DO NOT KNOW EVERYTHING, and certainly do not have the last say! It's hard enough to watch them almost freak out about a test they have been studying for or what to wear to the prom. why do that to a child. totally, allow the child to live every day to the fullest. i thank God i never had to go thru that. my heart goes out to all of you heroic parents who had the courage and strength to do what you have done and what you are doing.

what if she would have told her daughter in 1988? the child would have been miserable for four years.
YEAH MOM!!!

well said

My heart hurts that you had to make such a choice. That any one has to make a choice that profound. I am a mother of 4 girls, twins are three, the eldest art 5 and 6. I cannot imagine the strength it took to handle that.

With faith in God, I believe which ever choice you made was the right one. Through Him, we are given the strength and wisdom needed to carrry out our lives to His glory. ...That's what I believe, at least.

Susan, Thank you for sharing. I hope God blesses you for being an inspiration in faith and strength for the rest of us. To me, at least.

I would have to agree why tell a child that young that they only have a limited time on earth, I would NEVER WANT TO BE IN THAT SITUATION knowing that the child only has a limiited time left here, I believe both parents made the right decision that these chilren can live as normal life as possible under these conditions. My heart goes out to these parents, may god bless you and your family, for having the most difficult decision any parent would have to make.

Susan, I also lost a child. My son was 13 and was diagnosed with a brain tumor. I didn't know he was going to die but still I tried to keep life as normal for him as possible from the time he was diagnosed to only 2 weeks later when he had surgery and died from complications from it. What I realized in that time of trying to live a "normal" life in the midst of such an abnormal situation is that once you know there might be an end you don't enjoy the time you have. I tried to create joy for him but my heart was just broken and I couldn't feel the joy. I've always wondered if we were both pretending for the other's sake. In my son't case, we did tell him what was going on with him but choosing our words very carefully so that none of the ones that might scare him more were used. I would not attempt to second-guess a parent going through such heartbreaking choices.