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Women Rally Around Widower to Breast-Feed Infant Son
Filed under: In The News, Amazing Parents, Breast-Feeding
Just six months ago, Robbie and Susan Goodrich of Marquette, Mich., were expecting their second child.
Now Robbie Goodrich is the single father of two young children as he mourns the death of his wife while some two dozen women visit his house in shifts to breast-feed his infant son.
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Nursing Moses
Robbie Goodrich, center, and his 6-month-old son Moses, surrounded by some of the women in the community who are wet nursing Moses, at Goodrich's home in Marquette, Michigan.
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Life turns on a dime, Goodrich realizes, but this crosses the border into surreal. "I've spent the past few months getting used to the fact that this is reality now," he said.
He certainly never expected to become famous. Yet his story has been written up in everything from his hometown newspaper, The Mining Journal, to the June 15 edition of People magazine. Reporters keep calling him for quotes. At least six television producers have approached him about starring in a reality show.
"It would be a really boring show," Goodrich said.
Besides, he said, there's no way he would be put his infant son, 2-year-old daughter, and 11-year-old stepdaughter through that media meat grinder. "It doesn't care who you are," Goodrich said in an interview with ParentDish. "You're just a commodity."
The idea of two dozen women taking turns breast-feeding a widower's baby is apparently a sensation.
But Goodrich said it all began in a blur. He and his wife were professors at Northern Michigan University. He taught history, and she taught modern languages and literature. Susan Goodrich died Jan. 11 from an amniotic fluid embolism after giving birth to their son, Charles Moses Martin Goodrich (called simply Moses).
No words can describe how he felt, Goodrich said. "It was pure blackness."
Both Goodrich and his wife were strong advocates of breast-feeding. Laura Janowski, a family friend who was already nursing her own 4-month-old daughter, asked if he would like her to breast-feed Moses as well. Almost instinctively, Goodrich said, he answered yes.
Marquette is a college town of about 20,000 on the shore of Lake Superior in what Goodrich said is not so much rural as "rugged." The community is close. Everyone knows everyone else -- or least knows someone who knows someone. Plus, as a professor, Goodrich has a high profile.
His story spread quickly. Susan Goodrich's best friend, Nicoletta Fraire, took charge of organizing the team. Now some 25 women drop by the house to either nurse Moses personally or provide pumped breast milk. They've become a community.
"They don't just drop by for five minutes and leave," Goodrich said. "These are loving, nurturing women. They're proud of what they're doing. They're proud of the community, and they're proud of their new micro-community."
Team member Carrie Fiocchi told the Savannah Morning News in Georgia on Aug. 17 she realizes Moses isn't her baby, but the bond is inescapable. "He definitely feels like family."
"I felt like I was doing this for Susan," team member Kyra Fillmore said in the same article. "It's really emotional because, while it's nice to hold a newborn, I think to myself, 'It shouldn't be me.'"
Although the women's love for his son touches him, Goodrich said it is bittersweet for him. "Every moment of joy has sorrow in it." He still grieves the loss of his wife, but tries to put on as brave a face as possible. "The crying goes on in private," he said.
He echoes Fillmore's feelings about the breast-feeding. "It's a reminder of the loss," he said. "They're doing something that Susan would do."
Goodrich said all the publicity makes him and the women in his newfound extended family a little uneasy -- especially him. "They're the ones doing something special."
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ReaderComments (Page 5 of 18)
9-20-2009 @ 8:44PM
J Elliott said...I am a 56yo and am the single parent of 4 boys and 2 girls. My wife passed away when my youngest was 5 1/2 mos old. the other children were 12,10,6,4 and 2. My loving parents reall took over with the baby andit worked out beautifully. I kept the other 5 with me, stayed home til they were all in school and at this l point my daughter is expecting her first baby, which is a boy. This will make 8 grandkids. We will always have lose in life, but must remember the wonderful things we have and appreciate them. The kids are doing great and healthy. That counts for a lot.
Reply
9-20-2009 @ 8:48PM
jess said...This is by far the craziest and weirdest thing I've ever heard, but at the same time it's actually pretty cool.
Reply
9-20-2009 @ 8:50PM
T. said...I dont find this story the least bit heart warming. I find it to be very disturbing, strange and risky for the baby. How do you know what all of these women put into their bodies? Or how well they take care of themselves? If they want to help so bad why not pump and bond with the baby that way? I wouldnt want to keep ciruclating my baby around and increasing the risks of illness. This is insane. This kid is going to be one mixed up kid if they continue to do this for a prolonged amount of time. Once a child is 3 months and has been nursing it has already boosted the immune system. This is just weird and doesnt seem like something that the Board of Health or the Dept.of Infectious Diseases would recommend. All we hear lately in the media is how to decrease the transport of germs and here these women are passing this baby around like its a homeless dog!!! I find it sad and disheartening that anyone would think this is ok. My heart goes out to the family and friends of this mother. God Bless that child, cause from to sound of things hes going to need it!!
Reply
9-20-2009 @ 9:23PM
jewellee said...I strongly agree with you, T. Well stated. Couldn't have said it better myself...every word!
9-20-2009 @ 10:12PM
Laosha said...I agree with you totally. Everyone is so brought to tears over the fact this lady died during childbirth, and it is truely sad....but although their intentions are good to try and help this single father and his son, the fact that you have some 25 women breastfeeding, or even offering their pumped milk to this child is totally unsanitary. I did not read no where in the carticle where it stated that testing was performed on any women who participated to donate their milk. Some people just see the sad sence of the story, and since this appears to be the soultion to a sad situation, ask your self....if any mother reading this story ever passed away, would you really want all your friends, or your whole neighborhood breastfeeding your child, because by doing this they believe their making you happy....In all reality it's barbaric, and unsafe. This child may be so confused because breast feeding is suppose to be a personal and bonding process for both mother and baby....This child is probaly having mixed emotions due to all those women cuddling and bonding with him...and if he is going to be breast fed till his first year, this child has to go through 6 more months of torture....this is simply my opinion, for all of yall who dont agree, thats ok, cuz this is what all makes us different and unique.
9-20-2009 @ 9:27PM
prgrsvmama26 said...I think this is wonderful. The father could easily have asked all the mamas to have a blood test for diseases. I had a friend whose son died who had a freezer full of preemie milk and when my preemie twins arrived my breastmilk was delayed coming in. I gratefully took the milk she offered me and she felt good in giving that nutrition to mine since she had lost her own baby. Americans are so damn uptight about the stuff that comes out of our breasts, but not breasts coming out of their bras as long as its at Hooters. Seriously, folks, this is a beautiful and healthy gift for baby and dad.
Reply
9-20-2009 @ 8:58PM
Willa said...Giving birth can be risky, we sometimes forget. Lovely, inspiring, sad story. Life goes on and so shall we.
Reply
9-20-2009 @ 8:55PM
Bill said...Thats really unsafe for this father to allow this, with all these women breast feeding his son, reality should tell him find one woman he like,s for this purpose.
Reply
9-20-2009 @ 10:22PM
Lea said...The women who donated their milk are also mothers who are nursing their own baby or has just given birth. A woman cannot give breast milk if she has not given birth to her own child. I'm sure those who have volunteered to nurse baby Moses are healthy mothers who are also currently nursing their own child. A father who just lost his wife would not be interested in finding a replacement this early and by the time he finds one, Moses will not be needing breast milk.
9-21-2009 @ 9:34PM
Dee said...Freaking FREAKS!!!!!
How weird can people in this world get. Sorry the wife/mom passed, but there are other options screw all the breast milk is better crap. These women are stupid they tink they are saving the world by taking turns entering someones home to tit feed his baby, bet dad ain't mourning he probably gets off each time one of these women shove their tit in his mouth. I f I were to didd I sure as hell wouldn't want twenty women showing my husband there tits and god only know what else they are showing to comfort daddy let alone breast feeding my baby. This world gets crazier everyday people are losing their minds with things they do. They are probably all swingers and enjoy this for personal pleasure. GROSS!!!!!
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9-20-2009 @ 8:56PM
Mandy said...How critical! I agree that it's the father's responsibility to ensure that these are healthy, non-disease carrying women, but spiritually wrong? Really? It would be better to sacrifice the child's health by feeding them hit-or-miss formulas which breed diarrhea and various toxins due to manufacturing? That's better for the spirit, more blessing to the temple? Sometimes I think the people/companies that post these articles deliberately post ridiculous comments to cause an uproarious flow of responses, thus increasing hits and making more money...
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9-20-2009 @ 9:03PM
delia said...First of all, we must remember that not everyone grieves in the same way. He did say that his tears are in private, most likely so that his children do not feel that they have to bear the emotional burden of daddy's loss when they must deal with their own. He IS doing what is best for ALL of his children. Secondly, I have to agree with the person who made the point that this man IS a college professor and more likely than not made sure all of these women were tested. Furthermore, think of the incredible passive/acquired immunity this child will develop from all of these different breast milk sources!!!! People are making it sound like these women have cigarettes flowing from their breasts. There is already enough in this world to be pessimistic and cynical about, why take this beautiful story about a community rallying around a suffering family and turn it into some self-righteous moral issue. God Bless this family and their community!!!=)
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9-20-2009 @ 9:52PM
MQT said...Delia,
I am from Marquette and your are right. Professor Goodrich did take the proper precautions for the sake of his son. The women are all good women with proper hygiene and personal habits. They are NOT using drugs, or drinking ect. like everyone else is implying. I think people are forgetting that these women are lactating for a reason, they are also feeding their own children. We are a good town and we are good people. It's also really stupid that this made national news.
9-20-2009 @ 8:58PM
sontha said...My baby had a severe adverse reaction to the DTAP vaccine at 6 months of age. M.D.'s stated, "We have no treatment for adverse vaccine reactions. Give your baby breastmilk." In addition to my own milk, I found 3 loving mother's who donated their breastmilk, while nursing their own. My baby received this milk 24 hours around the clock for 6 weeks. My baby developed a seizure disorder, and new diagnoses arise as she develops, but I know mother's milk kept her from dying. I am convinced Mother's are wired to help babies survive through their breastmilk.
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9-20-2009 @ 11:28PM
Laura said...This is GREAT! When I was sick and in ICU one of my babies was only six weeks old. The hospital was good about helping me pump but because of medications it wasn't the best thing for my baby. My friends came to my rescue. One friend took him home and feed him. Others took turns taking him and giving her a break. Everyone took turns to feed him. Some women even pumped and filled my freezer so I would have milk when I got home. He is now six years old and it still is something special to people who helped feed him. If you know you have no illness such as aids or CMV milk is pretty safe. Milk transfer is sort of a touchy dependent thing. Most illness and medications are not easily transferable after six weeks and than becomes based on the molecular structure. Thomas Hale's book Medications and Mother's Milk is a great resource. And no formula is not a good substitute.
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9-20-2009 @ 9:02PM
lfsmile said...I think this is a wonderful story, as far as being gross or the father not bonding that's just crap. You bond with your child in ways that can't be measured, it doesn't come from a bottle or a breast. It comes from the interaction. I'm betting this child grows up loved by an extended family that is happy to have brought some peace to a horrible time. God bless them!
Reply
9-20-2009 @ 9:04PM
Marco said...First of all, I'm a male, so I don't think like a woman. I am, however, a father of three. We wanted breastfeeding, but it just didn't work out for us. My wife couldn't stand the pain, as her breasts produced massive amounts of milk, and pressing them while showering in very warm water only stimulated more milk production. My point is this, (and I'm not a doctor) So many things can be transferred to babies through breast milk, I'd have to know any woman who breastfed a baby of mine quite well to allow it. For example, is the woman taking a prescription medication or even an illegal drug, or does she drink alcohol, is she in good health, does she maintain good personal hygiene, etc...the thought of 25 different women breastfeeding a baby of mine is scary...
Reply
9-20-2009 @ 9:23PM
jewellee said...I hear ya loud and clear! Well stated!
9-20-2009 @ 9:04PM
dera said...i think its great these women did this!!!! totally great! i've been nursing my daughter for 15 months, and i produce way too much milk, after i nurse i gotta pump. for the past 12 months all the milk i pump goes to a friend, and thanks to my utters her child has also got the benefit of breastmilk. i think anyone who has the chance to share their milk, should. how else u think babies surrived before formula!
Reply
9-20-2009 @ 9:23PM
jewellee said...Read comment # 39