One Way to Deal With The Remarks When Pregnant With Multiples

by Patty Bontekoe (Subscribe to Patty Bontekoe's posts) Sep 27th 2009 9:00AM

Categories: Pregnancy & Birth, Twins, Triplets, Multiples

Carrying twins can be a big experience. Credit: jupiterimages

Earlier this year, the Institute of Medicine released new guidelines on pregnancy weight gain for moms-to-be who are expecting twins.

Normal-weight women are urged to gain 37 to 54 pounds; overweight women, 31 to 50 pounds; and obese moms-to-be, 25 to 42 pounds. The old guidelines, last updated 19 years ago -- before the huge jump in multiple births in this country -- simply suggested moms of twins gain 35 to 45 pounds. The organization didn't have enough information at that time to make specific recommendations based on a mom's pre-pregnancy body mass index.

So here I am, 34 weeks pregnant, and having gained just shy of 30 pounds, I feel like I'm doing pretty well when it comes to the baby weight.

Still, for the past two months, everywhere I go, I've been assaulted with comments like, "Oh, look at you -- any day now, right?" or "You're having twins? So that's why you're so big!" or, my favorite, from a woman who just looked at me and said, "Twins?" as though I'm so big, of course I must be having twins.

I usually just laugh it off -- what else can I do?

I'm almost tempted to buy one of those in-your-face-message maternity T-shirts -- they've got them for twin moms, triplet moms and quad moms -- announcing that there's more than one baby inside, to put an end to all the comments and questions.

But then what happens once the babies arrive? The well-meaning remarks and curiosities will, no doubt, multiply. I guess I'll just have to start wearing this shirt for the rest of my life.

Tell me: What's the funniest, rudest or most interesting comment you got while pregnant?

Comments (8)

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

Amber 9-27-2009 @ 2:28PM

There are also those of us who are pregnant with singletons who often get asked if we are having twins. I have only gained the recommended weight but I tend to carry high and all in front, emphasizing my belly. I am asked often if I am having twins or they are amazed that I still have almost three months to go before the delivery date.

Karen 9-27-2009 @ 10:01PM

I was at a bicycle road race @ 8 mos along in my 3rd pregnancy. I really stuck out next to all the rail-thin dudes in lycra. I overhead one guy say "That chick's so big, she should have her own zip code." (I just snuck away and said nothing, but OMG the nerve....)

momma bear 10-07-2009 @ 10:23AM

Remind him that you are very busy creating new life. What the heck is he doing? Riding a bike and wearing Lycra???? It's hard to feel so tough when you are being shot down by a big pregnant woman while wearing Lycra. :)You have a purpose for eating like you do. He is just riding a bike. I love my husband by the way who is a cyclist. :)

queentree 9-28-2009 @ 4:16PM

Strangers say weird things in general to pregnant women which does not help their self esteem at such a body conscious time. A lady in my building who I hardly know said "Gaining weight for a reason, are we?"

One female customer said over the phone, "So are you still fitting through the door?" Another said, "So, how fat are you now?" Of course that was a male that said comment. Only men would use the term "fat" to describe the curvature of a womans body while she is creating a human or humans...

erdlca 10-01-2009 @ 9:55PM

when I was 4 months pregnant with my twins someone in an elevator said "so due any day now?" and I said, "yeah, any day 5 months from now". But honestly, I looked liked I was ready to go into labor then. When my out of town mother came to visit, she burst into tears and said "I am so happy your father cant see you, it would be too much for him!"

Valerieana 10-03-2009 @ 12:25AM

With my last pregnancy when a stranger asked me if I was pregnant with twins I calmly replied "Yes, my second set" They ususally didn't know what to say after that.

Cara 10-08-2009 @ 6:29PM

I was in line at the grocery store with my husband and two children when my daughter announced to the bag boy that Mommy is growing 2 babies in her belly. A lady from the next isle over piped in with an astonished "YOU, are having twins. Are you serious?" I laughed off her disapproving tone and replied " Yeah, go big or go home right?" She then shook her head and said to me " Honey, get lots of help". She said this as if I am unaware that with a 4 year old and 18 month old, things will be hectic. My two children are very well behaved, polite, and well disciplind due to my abilities and hard work as a parent. It is so hurtful when my young age (24) gives older women the right to judge and pitty me.

michelle 11-03-2009 @ 11:06PM

im almost 7 months and get told o ur small for 7 months o u just gained sum weight i hate the comments and stares i get about itor the people that come up and touch ur belly

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