Judge Tells Mom: Punish Kids For Skipping Visits With Dad

quote - The judge said noncustodial parents need to "positively encourage" visitation and start "removing privileges if the child was defiant," according to an article in The Australian. - unquote

I think the writer meant to say custodial parents need to "positively encourage" visitation...

What I wish a judge would say is this:

"Lady, you say you have no control over the kid if he says he doesn't want to go to Dad's house. I guess you have no control over the kid if he says he doesn't want to do his homework, or eat his vegetables, or go to bed. Lady, because you cannot control your kid, I am stripping you of custody and ordering the dad to have a go. Oh, yes, now about the issue of child support..."

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Good luck to all of you.

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I am going through similar issues with my children and the visits with their father! I have always encouraged visits with their father, as I feel that children really do need both parents. Since last June there have been some issues regarding my daughter and my ex-husband's girlfriend. I have tried talking to him about the relationship with his girlfriend and the things that y children have come home tellin me that she has said. She has been bad mouthing me (I have also heard from others that she works with), calling me names such as fatty, b*tch, slut, whore, and others from a long list. She has even told my children that I am nothing but stupid while there father sat and agreed with her words. Last September the situation worsened with my daughter and this woman and her father. My daughter is 12 (13 in March) and most visits she is coming home crying or begging me to pick her up early because they are being mean. I am sure that some of it is being exaggerated, but I know that a lot of it is not. Our agreement says every other weekend on his days off shall be his visitation, but for a long time (before any issues were discovered) the children would go every weekend. After much thought and discussion with the children they revealed that they wanted to go back to every other weekend. Being that they are 12 and 10, I really did take their thoughts and feelings into accout along with the issues that were slowly being revealed with my daughter. Of course this started a battle with the ex, but I stood my ground. I have left the door open in that if the children wanted to visit their dad more than just every other weekend there was no problem, that I would not stop them from visiting, but they at least had to go every other weekend no matter what and I even explained the custody agreement and what it could mean if they did not at least keep to this. The last 3 weekends the children went to their dad's, two weekends ago would have been his normal visit, making this weekend his normal visit. They both do not want to go this weekend, and I have tried to tell them this would have been the normal weekend. I am going to call in social services to help with the issues (both children report that their father and girlfriend are especially mean to my daughter) but can I be held in contempt if I do not make them go this weekend? I did express that if they do not go this weekend they have to go next weekend to comply with the every other weekend, but my ex has called me and threatened with filing for contempt along with swearing at me and calling me names--my son even heard it as he was standing in the room when I answered the phone. I am not denying him his visitation and there are not set weekends in the custody agreement it just states every other weekend on his days off (which switch quite often). Since he had them the previous 3 weekends in a role, even if 2 were not on what he considers his regular weekend, can I be held in contempt of court for not forcing them out the door? I really do not know what to do and I cannot stand to see my babies hurt so much! There is a lot more to the situation and counseling for them starts this week, but I just do not know what to do!

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