Woman Terminates Adoption Because She Can't Bond With The Child

Sounds like the adoption agency didn't ask the right questions, not Matt Lauer!!

Can't blame the baby!

Better now than 2 years from now!

I think it is wrong. If you make a decision like this you must be committed...or don't do it...and 18 months my goodness. I have a 9 year old daughter, adopted at birth, and she does not hug or kiss.....she never has....Now, I definately hug and kiss her.....hoping some day she will feel comfortable ... but I can't imagine giving her up!!!! She is mine and has been since the day shw was born! This is a case of initial bad judgement on this persons part! Of course my opinion only....

As a mom of both a biological and an adopted child, I don't think we should rush to judge. While an initial reaction would be that she is absolutely wrong, if this woman does blame the child for their lack of connection, do you really want this child to grow up in a household where he feels at fault and is treated differently from the other children? While I am not suggesting that people trade in their children (or spouses, or pets, etc) I pray that this child will be placed in a permanent home with a loving family who will cherish him forever. My husband, son and I feel so blessed to have been chosen by the birth mother to raise our daughter. When it is right, there isn't any difference between them. She wasn't born from my womb, but she was born in our hearts!

i like you think more questions need to be asked. where is the husband in all this? AND please give that baby back as quick as you can because he is not being loved. somewhere, out there, is a family with open arms waiting for him. do you agree?

Personally, I think that it is better for this baby in the long run. Whether the baby bonded or not. If this woman did not feel a bond with the child the child would ultimately be the one that suffers later. I would rather see her give the baby back than keep a child she doesn't love. The baby is only eighteen month old. He will probably have no memory or very little memory of th trauma later. Otherwise, he would live his little life in a family with a mother that has no feelings. That would be a whole lot worse.

It's difficult to decide wether Anita was wrong for giving up this poor child, or if she really did the best thing. Biological parents and their children sometimes have difficulties bonding; or sometimes personalities just clash, but that doesn't mean that we give our children up. However, because this wasn't her own child and there wasn't a bond, it was easier for her to just say, "Ok, I don't want him anymore, you can have him back now". In that case, perhaps she did do the right thing because you want him to be in a home where when things aren't perfect, you don't run...you stick it out because you are a family.

i cant say it was a good thing to give this child back but better she do that then he be neglected or abused because he wasnt wanted. at least now he has a chance at a good life

Better that she make this choice now so the child has a chance with a family that will love him unconditionally.. What could or would have happened if she kept him? Abuse? Neglect? I pray he finds a loving home.

Does it really matter to you? Can't you get your own life? Maybe I should start talking about how ignorant the rest of you are?

Before everybody goes nuts, there is a psychological condition known as "Attachment Disorder". Frequently children who have suffered severe trauma (like being left on the side of the road) suffer from it. Raising these children is difficult as they cannot bond. With proper help for the whole family, there can be a happy ending but not always. In any case, there is more to this than meets the eye. Those who are quick to crit9icize need the whole story. For myself, I empathize with ALL involved...

Almost 38 yrs ago our neighbors adopted a baby boy about D's age- They were told he had been in 3 homes prior to their adopting him so they felt it necessary to warn them about how much he cried- Our neighbors chose to ignore this n adopt him anyway- They soon experienced the crying n soon learned that it happened when he saw NO ONE near him as if he felt very alone- She no longer worked outside the home so it was easy for her to have him always where he could see HER OR his NEW DAD who both hugged n kissed him often thru the day n evening - Within a couple of years he felt so secure that he no longer had to be assured of someone being near him at all times- There IS A BONDING issue at hand with this but often adoptive parents are not aware of prior problems as our neighbor's son had n possibly Baby D has- In MY opinion it was solely a need for a SECURE feeling perhaps due to some unknown problem in the FIRST HOME-

I'm sorry people, but it's better she gives the child up than keep a child she doesn't love like her own. Why does this have to a blame game? It is what it is. There are enough unloved children out there, let this boy have a fair shot in life.

To many people get in where they have no business. The only people this lady must answer to is herself and the little dude.
Every one else should butt to f--k out....

To say that a baby had any fault in not bonding with its adoptive mother is both irresponsible and immature. The truth is that this woman should not have expected the same nature of bonding that she shared with her biological children because she lacked that nine month period of feeling this child grow and become who he is. What she should have expected is to find a way to offer up the love that this poor child obviously needed and in that the bonding would have come to be. I have contemplated adoption but have been denied due to medical reasons on both mine and my husband's part but we have been blessed to care for not only our biological children but also scores of children who needed more than anything someone to love them. They are not my biological children but I love them just as dearly. I try to guide them as I would the children I birthed. The fact that they did not come from my body has never entered into our bond. Ours is a unique and beautiful bond that transcends biological connections. Last night I was speaking to a son who was telling me, only a person that gave him love and compassion and understanding when he needed it most, that he was getting married. He told me that both myself and "dad" had to come. This is going to be in addition to his biological parents with whom he is rebuilding a relationship. The funny thing is that I talked to him the same way I would if my biological son had come to me with such news. Questions such as "Do you love her? More importantly, do you really believe you love yourself so that you can love her?" and advice such as "Make her angry and see how she responds because that is when ones true nature comes out."

To terminate an adoption because there is no bond is an excuse. While I commend her for returning the child while he is still young enough for placement, I condemn her for being selfish. I am sorry but that is exactly what she is because she cared for this child for 18 months -- a little baby who is going to love whoever cares for it because babies know nothing but love -- and she could not allow her shallow perception of love to overcome a simple thing such as paternity. She obviously has never heard that anyone can be a mother but it takes someone special to be a MOM.

Additionally, I am left to wonder how her husband feels about this. Did he bond with the child? Did he overcome the barrier of DNA to truly embrace fatherhood only to have it yanked away? Or was he too a selfish, shallow hearted individual who could not bear the thought of bonding with a child not of his loins?

Were I able to adopt, I would take that baby and give it all the love it's birthmother, ex-adoptive mother, and others have denied it and then some. It's not a matter of genetics. It is a matter of heart and my heart remains open to love wherever the universe chooses to place it. It is sad so many are not geared that way.

I understand that she felt that she had trouble connecting with the baby. But how easy do you think this baby will be able to connect with any, especially now. The first few years of a baby's life is the bonding period and if they don't have someone in their life that they bond with and feel comfortable with now, it will make it even harder later. I think the woman should have stuck with it. The baby is a person, not a pair of shoes to return.

PLAIN AND SIMPLE SHE IS A SCREW-UP, NO ONE RETURNS A BABY. I AM AN ADOPTEE, AND AM QUITE AFFENDED BY HER STUPIDITY , PERHAPES SHE WASNT EVEN FIT TO RAISE THE GIRLS SHE HAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Frankly speaking, she should be ashamed of herself. Al she gave were poor excuses. I didn't see her drop her own biological kids to an orphanage because they weren't behaving.
The fact of the matter is, she treated this baby like a dog, she didn't like "it" so, she "returned" it.
She is a big piece of shit, and I hope the baby finds a real loving home, she was not worthy of his love, or company.
Also, I have NO IDEA why ANYBODY is applauding her.

Oh God forgive me for I am a man of unclean lips and I live upon a people of unclean lips...This woman's selfishness is a simple reflection of our current culture...we are selfish, plain and simple. Hello adoptive parents, do you know anything of reactive attachment disorder? This child will never feel love and acceptance from anyone because the only chance of relationship in this past 18 months has also rejected him...what lies and deciet, confusion and ignorance of truth that I have seen in these posts. You know not because you do not know the truth. We as a culture no longer understand or accept hardcore sacrifice...we are selfish...plain and simple and that is the truth. Shame on this family for what they have done to this child. It seems to be all about mommy these days...I have a suggestion for all you stressed out parents...don't have children unless your ready to grow up and face the true hardships of this world and the extreme sacrifices we must make for the well-being of our children. The fact is, most of us don't understand what it takes to be a parent these days, or how to even stay married for crying out loud. What did she think she was getting, a puppy? Do your homework and don't allow your emotions to make decisions that will affect others, especially the innocent ones such as this little fella. Can't bond...BS and shame on anyone who would make excuses for her.

My goodness!!! The baby is not like a puppy that you decide is just too much work. I feel so bad for this child. That was 18 months this baby could've been with another family that was REALLY committed. Who is really getting hurt out of this? I have to think the child. Memories are being created and then suddenly taken away. I am certainly not a psyhciatrist, but isn't that somewhat traumatic???