About 25% of Married Moms Become Stay-At-Homes

by Amy Hatch (Subscribe to Amy Hatch's posts) Oct 7th 2009 12:00PM

Categories: Just For Moms, Money & Work, In The News, Childcare, Mommy Wars

One in four married moms stay home to raise their kids, according to new U.S. Census data. Credit: jupiterimages

New census figures are calling into question the notion that professional women are opting out of the work force to raise their children.

Momlogic is asking if female executives are really leaving their jobs behind for the mommy track, based on data showing that 5.6 million women, or nearly one in four married moms with kids younger than 15, stay home with their kids.

Census stats also reveal that stay-at-home mothers tend to be less educated, younger and have lower total family incomes.

The Washington Post posits that, based on this new data, the "opt-out" generation of working moms may just be a myth. The term was coined by The New York Times writer Lisa Belkin to describe the choices made by a high-achieving group of educated women who chose to leave the work force after they had kids, according to the story."I do think there is a small population, a very small population, that is opting out, but with the nationally representative data, we're just not seeing that," Diana B. Elliott, a family demographer and co-author of the U.S. Census Bureau report, told the Post.

What the numbers do reveal, according to the Post, is that the educational level of nearly one in five stay-at-home moms was less than a high school degree, and that 32 percent of moms who stay home have a bachelor's degree, compared to 38 percent of mothers who work outside the home.

Worrisome is the fact that 12 percent of stay-at-home moms live below the poverty line, while only one-third of women who stay home have family incomes of at least $75,000 or more a year. This snapshot of moms shows that mothers who stay home lack other opportunities, according to the Post.

Did you opt-out to stay home and raise your kids? Why or why not?

Related: Working Moms Have Fatter Kids, Maternity Leaves Cut Short by Recession

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Comments (18)

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

Inger 10-07-2009 @ 3:14PM

We decided that I would stay at home after I completed my school. I started my bachelor's pregnant with my oldest, now 6, and finished with 2 degrees (a bachelor's in social work and a bachelor's in family studies) when I was 9 month pregnant with my 2nd, now 3. We also have a 20month old and have another baby coming in february. There is no way with my degrees that I could get a job that would pay for decent childcare and have any left over to compensate for all the time lost with the kids and taking care of the house. At this point in our lives it doesn't make any sense to have me work. But that's just our story!

mlf161406 10-07-2009 @ 11:26PM

I became a stay at home mom because my chosen profession, teaching, did not pay enough to justify daycare costs for my kids. I left the workforce for five years to stay at home because I would rather survive on one income and be home with my kids then to work all day and pay everything I earn to the daycare.

Eliza 10-08-2009 @ 12:20AM

I stay at home, not because I am undereducated, but because this time with my children is precious. I wouldn't trade being home for my son's first steps for anything in the world, or teaching my daughter how to count by carrying her up and down the stairs, counting to keep her mind off teething. The simple fact is that no one loves my kids as much as their father and I do, and I don't think anyone else can do as well as we will at instilling our beliefs and giving them a headstart to their educations. The money, while it would be nice, couldn't give us enough to make any other option make sense for us.

Heather 10-08-2009 @ 8:30AM

I am concerned that jobs are not paying enough / cost of living is so high, that people can't live on one income. The wages for many occupations has dropped . When I first started in internet help desk the starting wage was $17/hr in 1999. Now many are starting at $9/hr. The company I worked for lowered the starting wage to $15. So even though everything costs a lot more then in 1999 they have lowered the pay.
At the higher education schools here, over 50% of the students were female, I think the working mom numbers are going to change a lot here. Of the people I know females can get a job in few days, men can be unemployed for months. Even when applying for the same jobs.

I have to work, without me working we would be on welfare. I have some college. I did get the 1 yr mat leave so I don't think I missed out. Even if I could stay home I don't if I would want to all the time. I think I would have at least a part time job. I just like the socalization of other adults.

Clarissa 10-08-2009 @ 8:28AM

My husband and I decided even before we were married that I would stay home and raise our child. A child needs a parent at home with them.

And like Eliza said this time with my child is precious and once gone can never be regained. I'll worry about what I want to do when my child is done being raised and is out on her own.

Inadequate Wife 10-08-2009 @ 3:00PM

My husband and I also decided, before marriage, that I would be a stay at home mom when we had kids. I left a high-paying career the day before I went into labor and never looked back.

We planned and budgeted wisely and did not suffer with the lack of second income. The time I spent at home while our daughter was a baby was the best gift we could have given her. My husband also rearranged his work schedule to work at home more, and he's now working from home full-time.

Now that our daughter's in high school, I do a little work from home to supplement our income because we're in the midst of some home renovations. But there is still a parent at home, all day, every day. My schedule is flexible enough that I'm available to drive the car-pool, sit and cheer at sports events, etc..

From looking at the working moms I know, I think most families can get by on one income, because the second income usually isn't enough to cover childcare, extra travel expenses, work clothes and all the other miscellaneous expenses that come from a job. There's often so little left over that it's hardly worth the effort when you consider what the kids are missing out on.

Often, a little frugal spending and budgeting can make staying at home very cost effective. Again, this is looking at moms I know who clear a couple hundred dollars a month after the mandatory increase in expenses. They typically blow most of that on take out and convenience foods because the "don't have time to cook anymore".

Pam 10-08-2009 @ 6:37PM

This article really made me mad. I work full time, but I would hardly say that I have opted out of "raising" my kids. It's not like I've sent them away to boarding school, for God's sake. They're with a loving daycare provider while I am at work, but I am still their mother and primary caregiver.

And if you live in California, it's nearly impossible to be a stay at home mom if you own your own home. Sometimes it isn't a choice.

Pam
http://abbydejong.blogspot.com/

betterhomemaking.net 10-08-2009 @ 8:19PM

It concerns me also that families can't afford their own home and still have one parent stay home with the kids. I think our nation as a whole is suffering because parents can't/aren't spending enough time with their children in the critical years (0 - 8) that largely determine how they will act the rest of their life. That takes a LOT of time. Actually, most of it.
Perhaps the results are skewed to so many young and less educated stay-at-home-moms because of the rising teen pregnancy epidemic due to their parents not being able to stay at home to raise them.

Heather 10-12-2009 @ 12:08PM

I am a highly educated woman who is in a high paying career. I would LOVE to be a stay at home mom. Unfortunately for me, it has not worked out for me to stay at home for a variety of reasons. I have prayed nearly every day for many years to be able to stay at home. I have finally realized that God does not have that option in his plans for me. For some reason, he has given me the gift of a career outside of the home. I do the best I can and try to make the best of the situation!

missircar 10-09-2009 @ 3:12PM

I guess you could say I "opted out." However, like Pam (post #7) I really don't like that term. I didn't "opt out" of a job. I did "opt out" of a pay check in exchange for staying home with my kids. I don't think working moms "opt in" to a job and "opt out" of raising their children.

Several of the women in my extended family who are moms with young children work outside the home. A couple because their job provides the necessities (not a lot of niceties) for their family and one who provides a lot of both. All of us regardless of our decisions are good moms who are dedicated to doing what is best for their families.

Different families find the right solution for them. I don't believe there is one right way to raise kids or to be a parent. Do your best, love your kids with all you have and take care of yourself.

Elaine 10-09-2009 @ 5:13PM

Being a mother and maintaining your professional status is very difficult, if not impossible, no matter whether you "opt" in or out of your career path. There is such sacrifice involved for women who have been begun to blossom and bloom in their career paths when a child comes into their life. Their lives will never be the same. My hope is that all employers and coworkers with and without children can respect motherhood for what it is and always will be. The job which has the most influence on the successes of future generations needs to be admired for its power to shape everything that is and is to come.

Kay 10-11-2009 @ 1:18AM

I stay at home because my kids need me, their mom to raise them and not a woman who doesn't love them like I do. They need me, their mom, to be attached to, to nurture them, to play with them, and to help them with their homework. I would miss my kids terribly if I went to work, I would cry on the way to and from work and feel guilty. I have been so blessed to have stayed home with my kids, they are now 12 and 14 years old and I haven't missed a thing. I have seen plenty of kids who have working moms and their is a difference in these kids. They have less attachments to people and we moms who don't work tend to hang out together, and we all see a difference. Plus, the daycare kids don't get the benefit of mom volunteering at school during the day. My kids loved that when I did it, all the way to fifth grade. I won't regret a thing on my deathbed when it comes to my kids.

Clarisse 10-13-2009 @ 10:20AM

What an asinine article! Obviously incomes are going to be lower if the woman decides to stay at home with the child(ren). I am a 28 year old stay-at-home mom, and I have a bachellor's degree, I had a career prior to having children, but when I had our first child, I willingly left the corporate world to raise my children. I did it because this time is precious and I wanted to spend every moment possible raising my children. You don't get a do-over with your children. Every moment matters, and I'm shaping and molding the future with every batch of cookies, every kissed boo-boo, and every lesson learned on my knee. There isn't an amount of money in the world that would make me trade being a full time mom. Yes, I could more than double our household income if I were to work, but my children are more important than stuff. If that means our household income is what is considered to be "low income" then that's okay with me. We can support our family, live on half of my husband's income; we are almost debt free. Of course, I'm just a young say-at-home mom...what do I know?

SNancy 10-11-2009 @ 1:29AM

You notice a big difference with the kids of working moms when the kids are in school. The working mom's kids don't behave as well and act out more to get attention than the kids whose mom's don't work. It's simple, ask the teachers, they know. They are starved for attention and affection. I guess working mom's don't really care that their kids are suffering, it's all about them and their egos needing to be stroked, and the stuff they need to buy, the car they need to drive, the house they need to live in, it's not about caring for their kids. They are the most selfish people on this planet next to the men who allow them to behave like this.

Jessica 10-11-2009 @ 6:46PM

Excuse me, SNancy, but where do you get off making those horrible comments? I am a mother to two VERY well-behaved children and I work full-time. I work because I HAVE to work. No one else is going to support my children but me. If I didn't work, we'd be living off of welfare. If that makes me selfish, then so be it.

JW 10-14-2009 @ 2:48PM

I am reading these comments feeling a lot of anger, frustration and sadness. This article/census was about married woman that chose to work/not work. I am one that has chosen to stay home with my children because I want to. There is nothing wrong with that. The "women's movement" was about the choice to work. As women we need to stop judging because it sounds like sour grapes. There are days I wish I could wear fancy clothes and have grown up conversations and KNOW my children are well cared for at the loving day-care facility that I scoured all over my town to find. There are those days ... but taking my son out for a walk on a beautiful day and pointing out trees makes me just as happy.
We need to stop beating ourselves up for being human.

Cheryl 10-28-2009 @ 5:33AM

I was a late bloomer to motherhood. I have a college degree and was earning a six digit income when I became pregnant (planned) for the first time. I was 41. I owned my home, had traveled, had played around enough. I was ready to be a mom. I wanted that new chapter in my life, and like everything else I do, I wanted to give motherhood the best that I can be. It was my choice. I had the freedom to choose. What makes sense financially and what makes sense emotionally are two different things. My husband made enough to pay for his golf and beer. I was the bread winner in our household. My whole world changed when I "opted-out". We budgeted like mad, I had to make a whole new circle of 'mommy friends' because my age and career didn't lend itself to anyone that I currently knew with infants. It was a strange time and an equally different experience for me, but I could not not be with this wonderful new person - that I created. For me, I had to be with her. There was no contest. I followed my heart. I don't think you are you're job, I didn't want to define myself like that. I love being the mother of Luke and Sophie. It's not my job, it's who I am.

Michelle 11-15-2009 @ 12:57AM

First of all, what is with the picture for the article? It is a woman sleeping on a stack of papers, what does this mean? Is she at work, tired because she is a mom too? Is she at work dreaming of being home with her kids? Is she at home sleeping on a stack of bills wishing she were at work? Very strange. I think this article and research done for this article are CRAP. I know a lot of educated stay at home moms who gave up their careers to stay home. Yes, I am sure there are plenty of uneducated young woman who are staying home too. But does that make them bad mothers? Is this article saying you are only a good mom if you are highly educated and old? Hmmm.