Author Blames Adults For Girls Growing up Too Fast
Categories: Development, In The News, Weird But True, Extreme Childhood
Girls showing up for kindergarten with polished nails, glossed lips and tailored bras? Tween girls getting their pubic hair waxed as soon as it appears?
Things are a little different in Australia. This is a country where "Hollywood Madame" Heidi Fleiss helped start the Daily Planet, a comic book-themed brothel publicly traded on the Australian stock exchange.
But crikey!
A lot of what researcher Maggie Hamilton learned about Australian girls is nonetheless shocking.
Hamilton, author of several books, spent the last two years interviewing girls and their parents across Australia for her new book, "What's Happening To Our Girls."
What's happening in some cases, she told The Daily Telegraph in Sydney, is that girls as young as 14 are competing to see how many times they can have sex. Some are claiming as many as 20 sexual partners, she told The Telegraph."We are getting 'sexting' in primary schools, girls sending topless photographs of themselves and so on," she told the newspaper. "We're not talking about short skirts and cleavage. We're way beyond that."
"Way beyond that" includes pre-teen girls having oral sex.
Hamilton gives regular talks, lectures and workshops throughout Australia and New Zealand. She also serves on the organizing committee of Australia's Office for Women. She describes herself on her Web site as having a "passion for the art of living meaningfully." In her latest book, Hamilton said girls are becoming sexually active early not because they necessarily want to but because there is tremendous peer pressure.
She points a finger at the adult world. "We haven't thought through the impact of exposing our kids to stuff so early on," she told The Telegraph.
What do you think? Would Hamilton's claims seem exaggerated if they were made about girls in the United States?
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Clarissa 10-07-2009 @ 2:58PM
Parenting starts at home and if your daughter is acting way beyond her years then maybe you should look to yourself for the reason why.
Don't blame others for what you the parent can prevent. And that goes for ANY country!
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thisisanoutrage! 10-07-2009 @ 10:02PM
i believe it, because i see it with my friends
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Christina 10-07-2009 @ 11:00PM
Your right parenting does start at home. Parents have a responsibility to guide their morals. However, unless you home school, your kids are out at school and in society more waking hours. So you have to be aware of society and what it is also saying to them. Good parents have kids that make bad choices. Use this information don't mock it.
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Clarissa 10-08-2009 @ 7:36AM
"Christina 10-07-2009 @ 11:00PM
Your right parenting does start at home. Parents have a responsibility to guide their morals. However, unless you home school, your kids are out at school and in society more waking hours. So you have to be aware of society and what it is also saying to them. Good parents have kids that make bad choices. Use this information don't mock it."
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Christina I have a 14 year old daughter who goes to public school. Because of responsible parenting my daughter makes her own choices, she does not follow the crowd and does not dress to fit in and she certainly isn't giving random boys blow jobs.
I'll say it a thousand times. Parenting starts at home LONG before the child reaches the age to go to school. It is a parents job to mold their childrens attitudes and shape their morals BEFORE the child starts school. It is the parents job to teach children about peer pressure before school, and it is the parents job to make sure that their girls (and boys too) don't act like a bunch of sluts. That can all be accomplished by being INVOLVED in your child's life and not throwing them to the world and letting them fend for themselves.
It's really not that difficult. If a kid is acting the fool, blame the parent, if the kid is in constant trouble blame the parent, if the kid acts like a little whore blame the parent. Kids have to be taught how to act, they don't automatically know. If a kid hasn't been taught then who is to blame? NOT the child but the parent. Yes kids do make bad choices, but they do so because they haven't been taught any better.
As a parent I take FULL responsibility for my child's actions. Her actions are a direct reflection on her father and I as her parents.
To many parents like to point fingers at society and say that society has ruined their children when they should really be looking at themselves. Had they really brought the child up in a decent manner society would have no effect on the child.
Parenting starts at home, don't blame others for your own short comings in parenting. Don't blame others for what you have failed to teach your children.
I'm not saying my child is perfect, she isn't. However because I have taught her to respect not only herself but her family, I don't have to worry about her doing something she shouldn't be.
Heidi 10-09-2009 @ 1:13PM
Christina and Clarissa I mostly agree with both of you. Even the best parent has children who make bad choices. Making choices are a part of growing up and some of them WILL be bad ones. No one is perfect. And once kids start school they will be exposed to viewpoints and actions other than those of their parents. If we, as parents, have instilled our values in them and have reinforced those values as they grow and continue to do so, it will influence their decisions. However, Clarissa, YOU are NOT fully responsible for your child's choices. Your child is responsible for his/her own decisions and the results. And if your child makes a mistake, despite your best efforts at teaching, don't blame yourself. That being said, if the issue is BAD parenting and the child hasn't been taught any values, yes, blame the parents. But to say that every bad decision our children make is our fault as parents is as bad as blaming it all on society.
Elizabeth 10-07-2009 @ 11:51PM
I don't have a problem with little girls having painted finger nails
or wearing lip gloss--as long as it's clear. The thing about saying
little girls are too sexy is an adult idea being projected onto a
child. Kids don't know that the clothes they are wearing are
considered by some adults as sexy--all they know is that they like
the color, or that it's like something Hannah Montana wears. The
only reason kids get sex into their heads is from adults. Granted, I
do think that girls should dress age appropriate, but as a society, we
might be condemning too many things as inappropriate.
That being said, kids in primary (elementary) school should not be sexting because they should not have cell phones. Obviously these kids are not mature enough to use their phones just for emergencies or to let mom know where they are, so why let them have the phones in the first place?
As to the issue of pre-teen girls having oral sex, I believe the reason is that a lot of them don't think that it's sex. After all, there is no penetration, and you keep your clothes on for the most part. And parents and teachers aren't telling kids that yes, this is sex. Sexual activity is sex, and should wait until you are mature enough, which at 12, you are not.
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joanie 10-09-2009 @ 4:39PM
Clarissa, I wouldn't be so confident about what your daughter is and isn't doing when she's out of your sight.
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Clarissa 10-09-2009 @ 6:43PM
I'm very confidant. I know my daughter very well, and we have an open communication policy.
Unlike most parents I do not allow my daughter to roam as she will. She has strict rules that she must abide by or face the consequences.
Her life consists of going to school and coming home doing her home work and her chores and then she can have all the free time at home she wants. On the occasions that she does go to school functions there is always adult supervision and she is not allowed to leave with anyone except for those who she is designated to leave with.
I run a strict house. So yes I do know what my daughter is doing, and whom she is doing it with and where she is at. AT ALL TIMES
The older she grows the more I will let out the line.
I give her freedoms as she shows she is responsible enough to handle them. If she steps out of line she looses those freedoms and must prove herself capable of handling them before they are given back.
Am I over bearing probably, but until she is an adult and out on her own she is my responsibility.
And yes I take full responsibility for her actions because if she is doing something she shouldn't be then I have failed as a parent to teach her how to behave properly. As her parent it is my duty to make sure that she behaves in a manner that is acceptable not only in our home but in polite society as well, and if she fails to act appropriately it is because I have failed to teach her to do so.
Too many parents don't step up to the plate and take full responsibility for their kids actions. But thinking about it logically who else is to blame if a child acts out? Kids are not born knowing how to act. They must be taught. And if the parent isn't teaching them, then someone else will and that someone else may very well be the school slut or drug dealer.
It doesn't take a village to raise good, law abiding, well mannered children...it just takes a parent with balls enough to stand up and hold themselves accountable for how they are raising their kids.