How Can I Talk My Husband Into My Favorite Baby Name?

by The Name Lady (Subscribe to The Name Lady's posts) Oct 19th 2009 10:00AM

I love the name Dominic, nicknamed Nico, for our unborn son, and I've gotten my husband to finally admit he likes it, too. But he won't go for it because he has a very distant cousin named Dominic who he's only met once. Every time the 60-something-year-old cousin is mentioned, the family pronounces it Dominque, the Sicilian pronunciation. So the easy answer is to name the baby, Nicholas, but he flat out hates that name. It's very frustrating! Any other names go with Nico? Any way to convince my hubby to go for Dominic?

- Nico or Bust

Not many boys' names shorten to Nico aside from the two you've already mentioned. (I'll wager that Nicodemus and Nicomachus aren't quite to your taste.) If you're absolutely determined to use the name Nico, then I suggest doing just that. Give the nickname as his full name. In an era of just-Jakes and simply-Sams, your nothing-but-Nico won't ruffle any feathers.But I'm seeing a bigger problem in the way you describe your situation. Let me break this down: you "get" your husband to "finally admit" that he likes your favorite boys' name when – oops! – some cousin you've never met suddenly pops into the conversation. Good old cousin Dominic. Of course! Can't let the baby share a name with a distant relative he'll likely never encounter. All your hard work convincing your husband of the rightness of this name has been for nothing.

Face it. Your husband doesn't like this name. If he liked Nico, you wouldn't have to force him to "finally admit" it. If he liked Nico, he wouldn't scramble for excuses to eliminate it. If he liked Nico, he wouldn't refuse to consider other names that yield this nickname. If he liked Nico ... well, you get the idea.

Possibly, you can still persuade him to accept the name. The insistence of an expectant mother can have remarkable effects. Is it worth it, though, knowing that you wouldn't really be changing your husband's mind, just wearing him down?

You've dreamed of a son named Nico. I understand that it's painful to let a dream like that go. Remember, though, that a name is a key bridge to bonding with a new child – for both parents. There are plenty of wonderful names remaining for you to discover. If you're willing to start your search over, I'm confident you can find one that will be special to both of you.

Have you locked horns with your partner over baby names? Share your experiences! And if you have your own question to Ask the Name Lady, drop her a line!

Related: Naming Siblings

Comments (16)

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

Red73 10-19-2009 @ 12:08PM

I agree, go with Nico, I have a friend who named her son that. It is so tricky picking names. I recently posted on truuconfessions.com about how hard it was for me to agree with my husband about my sons name. I got a lot of "me too's", so obviously it is a common problem.

superman's mom 10-19-2009 @ 2:03PM

Maybe the name Nico could be used as a middle name? We're expecting a child soon and have decided to use the name I like most as his middle name (my husband doesn't like it as much as I do). That way, you'll still have some connection to Nico, but your husband will get a bit of a say in picking the name.

Melissa 10-19-2009 @ 2:14PM

I used my favorite, Zachary for our first. No caving here.
The second I REALLY loved Nicholas, but he hated it.
So, I picked Christopher. Yes, I had the C-Sections I name
the babies. I know, I know...

Elizabeth 10-19-2009 @ 2:29PM

There's also Nicos or Nicolo.

Kirsten 10-19-2009 @ 2:50PM

You have the baby;you will most likely be doing the lioness' share of the work;you name the baby. That's what my grandfather always said. Unfortunately my douche of an ex-husband didn't feel the same way, so I only got say in 1 out of three for any of the names. You could always tell him he can choose either the first name or the last name. If you want a compromise, tell him if you end up with a c-section all baby naming rights default to you. I had three-no fun.

laura 10-20-2009 @ 10:59AM

If you are going to call the kid Nico, name him Nico. I am sick of the "we are naming our baby ____but going to call him/her_____"

Daisy 10-20-2009 @ 4:16PM

Couldn't agree more. That is a major peev of mine. If you aren't even going to call the child by Nicholas/Dominic then don't stress out about it. If you plan on calling the kid Nico then do just that, no point wasting a whole name that isn't going to be used.

Bay Area Don 10-20-2009 @ 12:21PM

i had a son 11 months ago and i named him nicholas but my fiance calls him nico. nico is a cool first or middle name, i say go with it.

Karen 10-20-2009 @ 1:31PM

In my experience - I got to name my son WHATEVER I wanted after my husband saw me go through labor. I'm not saying to exploit your labor - but honestly - when he sees you laboring and delivering his child the name will be the LAST thing he cares about.

anonymous 10-20-2009 @ 2:28PM

there are so many comments on here that since she is going through labor, she should get to name her baby. did anyone ever think that maybe she wants to include her husband on the decision?

Aria 10-20-2009 @ 5:54PM

I love Nico too! I plan on naming a boy Nikandros and calling him Niko.

Clint 10-22-2009 @ 3:13PM

Why are you so intent on FORCING your husband to do what you want? How about a little respect for what he wants?

Jess 10-23-2009 @ 3:41PM

Wow. Coming from a man, too. Maybe because she is having to carry the baby for 9 months, will give birth to the baby, and will undoubtedly do at least 75% of the work involved in caring for the baby!

Clint 10-23-2009 @ 9:21PM

Jess, that kind of attitude is exactly why any man who is willing to put up with contemporary women, to the extent of raising a child with one, deserves equal say in EVERY part of the decision making.

JillianEve 11-02-2009 @ 11:49PM

I am sick of the gender debate, who gets to choose a name, etc. Yes, we all know that women carry a baby for 9 months. deal with it, that's nature. I don't think that's a fair argument to use. The father of the child is going to love and care for the baby, and if you're doing 75% of the work raising the child then you've obviously picked the wrong man to do it with. both parents should have an equal say. how would you feel if your husband tried to force you into naming your baby something you really didn't like? anyways, it's just a name. if one of you doesn't like it, choose a new one. it's not like there's a shortage of names. but don't play the "i'm a woman i have to carry the baby so i get to choose blahbalhbalh". it is BOTH of your baby. If you expect your husband to raise the kid, help pay for it, offer all his support for the rest of his life, and love the child until the end of his days, then he is entitled to 50% of the choice. We need to have more respect for our men, ladies.

Amanda 12-02-2009 @ 1:30AM

If he hates the name, let it go or suggest it as a middle name. Its hard but you want him to love the name of your son as well. When discussing baby names with my boyfriend, he told me he loves the name Draeco for a boy... I nixed it immediately and then he offered Drake, I had to look at him oddly. It just seems like its right out of a comic. Since we aren't having a child right now, I'll let him hold onto it as his favorite name since he has 3 daughters and we've agreed on a name we both love for a girl... Someday, if we ever do have a child and its a son, I'll grant him Drake as a middle name because its so dear to him, but the first name, it has to be something we BOTH agree on... either because we both love it or we can both live with it LoL