Kids More Stressed Out Than Ever Before, Survey Shows

by Amy Hatch (Subscribe to Amy Hatch's posts) Nov 5th 2009 12:20PM

Categories: Just For Moms, Kids 8-11, Teens & tweens, Just For Dads, Money & Work, Health & Safety, In The News, Extreme Childhood

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Kids are more stressed out than they were last year, and they take their cues from their parents. Credit: BrittneyBush, Flickr

Kids are more stressed out than ever, and their worries include family financial troubles, body image issues and getting into a good college or university.

The 2009 Stress in America survey, administered by the American Psychological Association, is the first to ask children about their stress levels, according to U.S. News & World Report. The results are startling: One third of the 1,206 children ages 8 to 17 surveyed admitted that they are more stressed out than they were just one year ago.

Even more surprising is the revelation that parents are missing their kids' cues. Only 18 percent of moms and dads believed their kids were worried about money, while 30 percent of children said that financial concerns stressed them out. Two-thirds of parents surveyed also fail to realize that how they handle their own stress can influence their kids, while 80 percent of children said they learn their healthy living habits from the way their parents behave.

How can you tell if your child is experiencing stress? Headaches, trouble sleeping, lack of appetite and tummy aches are some good indicators. Don't turn a blind eye, because kids who internalize their fears and worries instead of acting out are at a higher risk for developing anxiety problems and depression, according to the APA.

But don't despair -- there are tools for stress relief:

Be available. Turn off that phone and log off the Internet, because 85 percent of kids surveyed said they weren't comfortable talking to their parents because Mom and Dad were too busy.
Respond thoughtfully. Kids will tune out if you act angry or defensive, and remember to focus on your child's feelings about the situation and not your own.
Be honest. Kids know when they're being fed a line. Be upfront in an age-appropriate way -- be it marital problems, money issues or other adult concerns. Tell them you are working together to solve the problem.
Seek additional help. There's no shame in seeking the assistance of a therapist, doctor or psychologist.

Is your child stressed out? How do you cope with it?

Related: Bad Economy Spurs Runaways

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Comments (75)

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 4)

SKL 11-05-2009 @ 2:54PM

These "studies" and "surveys" get dumber and dumber.

You are asking tweens and teens if they are more stressed than last year?

1) Stress fades in the memory, folks. Do you really think they accurately remember how they were feeling 365 days ago? Do they also remember what they had for dinner that day? Or how the weather was? Hello!

2) Puberty and adolescence have always involved increasing awareness of the stresses of life - it's part of growing up. Besides . . .

3) Kids that age are all about "OMG, Me, Now." It's hormonal, they can't help it. Of course they think that the stress they feel this minute is more than 90% of humans, including themselves, have ever felt.

Dumbest "survey" I've ever heard of, and that's saying something. Where's the money for these things coming from? Oh, this is from the American Psychological Association - people with psychology degrees asked these dumbass questions? I'm not even sure what to think about that.

Karen V. 11-06-2009 @ 5:22AM

I agree with you!!! I have 2 teens (17&18) and while I do believe that kid's probably feel alot more pressures than we did,It is human nature at these ages to be ALL ABOUT THEM. This is what kids do,they do not have the skills or life experiance to think beyond themselves. Parents today feel the need to "KEEP UP WITH THE JONES" and give,give,give.I believe that parents today are NOT teaching Values,Morals,etc. I also think ALOT of Parents use their kids as Personal therapists and share WAY TOO MUCH info with their children.

EKCADR 11-07-2009 @ 6:56AM

I have disagree with you SKL. I am 22 and believe me, even in middle school and high school, I knew I was more stressed than 75% of my peers.
Kids have a lot more on their plates today than they did when my parents were younger. By the age of 12 I knew the financial situation my single mother was in, and it stressed me daily. We begin getting pushed in 3rd and 4th grade to start thinking about college. What we're gonna do, where we're gonna go, what extras we're going to need other than our good grades and attendance. I mean honestly, who in the hell knows at 7 or 8 years old what they want to spend the rest of their lives doing?!
I think a major contributing factor of having more stress is the fact that we are growing up sooner as well. I don't have a single friend that didn't have a job, most full time on top of school, by their junior year. I don't remember ever hearing my mom and her friends or my aunts and uncles telling us to leave the room (even at 5 and 6) or go outside and play when they were discussing things like finances and relationship and such.

CLOUDNINE362 11-07-2009 @ 8:19AM

Stress doesn't fade away from the mind. You might not be able to fell the stress from maybe last year, but you remember that you were stressed you just don't feel the stress again. You WILL REMEMBER IF YOU HAVE STRESSSSSS

KG 11-07-2009 @ 1:28PM

My 9 year old is stressed and I'm hearing about many others as well. 4th grade, now the 9 year olds are doing rotations at school like in Jr. HS.. The school expects the kids to be organized & remember to get signatures, all work done on time- fine, a lot of responsibility with absolute no margin for error b/c they deal out detentions if you forget to get a parents signature. The negative reinforcement and rotations are overwhelming for young children. This affects their selfesteem, and enthusiasm for school. Now throw this in the pot with families that are stressed from the economy...Luckily, that's not my child's delima..

funfam4 11-07-2009 @ 2:05PM

I agree...this survey IS dumb...98% of the children that had to sit for two hours and answer all these questions...wish they hadn't!

Katie 11-08-2009 @ 12:52PM

I can't believe that you're saying this survey is unreliable and stupid. I'm seventeen years old, and I'm most certainly more stressed now than I was last year! It's hard to handle AP classes, getting into a good college, a job AND a social life, and even harder to keep them all balanced. I understand that adult stresses are definitely different from teenage stresses, but they're still new to us, and it seems like adults have a hard time realizing that. There's more pressure than ever now to be the best at everything we do, for fear that one wrong move could cost us our dream college. Just because you might have had an easy childhood doesn't mean everybody will.

And of course I don't remember what I was doing exactly 365 days ago, but do you? It doesn't matter if stress fades with time; it was still stressful at that moment and still impacts us.

Doogie 11-18-2009 @ 6:12AM

I don't like how some of the people in the beggining of the comments are refferring to teens and kids "Do you think they remember what they felt like 365 days ago" or "Stress fades with memory".

Okay first of all, do YOU remember what you felt like 365 days ago, or what you had for dinner? No don't think so.

Second of all, geuss what folks NEWS FLASH, in case you missed the memo, stress is UNHEALTHY, and takes years OFF OF YOUR LIFE........

Elizabeth 11-05-2009 @ 7:59PM

I agree that times are stressful for kids, especially when it comes to college. These days universities seem to only take the best of the best of the best, looking at not only stellar grades but community service, life experience, and a plethora of other things that the average teenager doesn't have enough hours in the day for. It's true, kids these days are under more pressure than they were ten years ago, and a lot of it does come from the parents, but much more comes from the kids themselves.

I disagree with a lot of what SKL has said. Some people have quite accurate memories about their feelings during any given year. And just because you're aware of these things, SKL, doesn't mean that the rest of the world is just as informed as you are. Studies are needed to bring to light issues in society so they can be discussed and dealt with. Not to mention that the people working on these studies are that many less people you'll have to pay for on welfare!

lgcoach77 11-06-2009 @ 5:52AM

Parents today have no clue. We live in a self indulgent society where Parents are still children themselves. I don't like hearing my ex Daughter in law telling my Grand Daughter to shake her booty. She's 4! Parents never ask their children to leave the area or go play when certain topics are being discussed and kids today hear way more information than they should. The result is a society where children grow up way too fast. Whatever happened to a little girl looking cute or adorable. Instead adjectives such as you look sexy mama are the norm for 4 year olds. It's A-moral. It's wrong! Everyone wants to know why kids are going wrong these days. It's simple. The Parents. I am of course not a Parent of the times. I am a Grand Parent and I'm no prude but things are out of control. Sex rules every subject these days. Kids watch MTV and every young girl is dressed like a whore. That's right a whore. How else do you describe girls, teenagers dressed where their thongs are sticking out the top of their pants. It's one thing for consenting adults to dress like this cause their on the prowl which seems to be the case for every woman on earth these days. Children mimic everything their Parents do. If your grown daughter dresses sexy at all times, runs to the tanning salon, hair dresser, nail salon, etc. She is obssessed and lives a superficial lifestyle. Half these women never cook dinner or clean their homes. With the economy the way it is I don't understand where they get the money for such things. I guess buying microwave lunch's and dinners is where they cut back so they can always look like there ready for a romp in the hey. My generation has done something wrong. We have not stressed morals and ethics enough. As a result we have raised a generation of self indulgent, selfish, unsacrificial people. Stop the madness. Teach your children right and wrong and stand by your convictions. Children run the household today because the Parents are too weak to take the necessary steps to raise their children properly. A lot has to do with working Mothers and the fact that children today are raised by anyone who will take the pay for it. Working Mothers is fine but not at the expense of your children's lack of manners, morality and decency. Wake up America and allow a child to have a childhood. Stop preparing them to lure a man for the man they lure will only do damage that their Parents blatanly ask for.

JJ 11-07-2009 @ 7:31AM

You bring up a lot of valid points, but working mothers don't have to make a choice between setting a good example and going to work. There are plenty of mothers who do not work that fail in that regard as well, simply because the attitude seems to be either their child can do no wrong or that the world in general owes them (and by extension, their children) something.
A working mother has the opportunity to set a good example BECAUSE she is working. She shows her child(ren) that nothing in life comes without effort and that it's up to you, not society or some man, to provide for the family. That said, I agree that she has the responsibility to her to discourage unacceptable behavior in her children and to act as a positive role model, to treat others and themselves with respect.

Master Shake 11-07-2009 @ 9:15AM

This idiotic American concept of children "being allowed" to be children as long as possible is EXACTLY WHAT CAUSES THIS STRESS, you old dingbat! The job of parents is to groom their children to being adults - not to restrain their progress towards adulthood (which is both selfish and lazy parenting, when you pull away all the veneer). Children don't turn into adults magically on their 18th birthday. Today's world IS one where sexuality is expressed. Yeah, if you are 90 years old, you'll be uncomfortable with that. Who cares? You are about to die anyway. This is the world of the grandchildren you are criticizing.

Richelle 11-07-2009 @ 11:41AM

lgcoach77
You are so RIGHT!! Maybe if parents started being parents and started teaching their kids about MORALS, boundaries, selflessness, start making them feel the consequences of their actions & that it's not all about them then things would be different. People need to stop living vicariously through their kids.

meg 11-07-2009 @ 3:00PM

a romp in the 'hey?"

emae 11-07-2009 @ 4:14PM

We complain about the younger generation "going to hell in handbassket" and we forget that the most powerful/learning happens through modeling what others do.

So what did we model, and our children emulate to produce the kind of society you are describing?

emae 11-07-2009 @ 4:16PM

Modelling is the most powerful teaching tool we have.
So what are WE modelling the contributes to the kind of society you describe?

smaRt1 11-07-2009 @ 8:03PM

ok. i dont know which girls you have seen but you cant ever i mean EVER say that ALL girls dress and act like whores or sluts whatever. because you might have not been to my side of america. i can tell you that kids can be stressed about a lot of things not just things like that. because i go to the hair salon often, and once in awhile the nail salon. but you cannot look at 20 girls or whatever and criticize every single girl in america or wherever as a whole to say that they dress like hoochies. yes, i know that there are the lazy ones but are you saying that they all are lazy? are you also trying to say that there mothers are lazy too? that is just messed up unless you have seen every inch of this world then go ahead can continue your critisizim on how girls look.

Red73 11-06-2009 @ 2:27PM

I just posted on the truuconfessions site about how stressed out my daughter is. I am not sure that it is a sign of the times as I was a stressed out teenager so it is probably more to do with personality.

OMG 11-07-2009 @ 8:04AM

There stressed because they have information they don't need to know. Like how your parents pay the bills. Not something they need to know. And global warming? Why not just scare the shit out of the kids now, They tell these kids things like there going to die if they own a car in the future. The schools now a days suck, stop teaching this stuff to children,

Anna 11-07-2009 @ 8:24AM

I agree with Igcoach77. I was raised in different country, and I observed almost 20 years ago (when I came here for the first time), that kids here have very poor childhood. Learning manners starts as early as possible, when the child is able to interact and play with other children. But instead they are left in the front of TV, computer or other games most the time. Yes, it is true that I never had opportunity to have wonderful toys like kids in America, and yes, I did not have soooo many available channels with cartoons, or other programs for kids, but instead I was playing outside as much as it was possible. Interaction with others is the key next to parents behavior. There is also another problem that adds for children to be stressed out. From the earliest years, as our children enter kindergarden, preschool, and then elementary school, they loose the feelings of stability, security, and safety just because every single year they go through a tremendous stress of being separated from their friends. Every single year, I believe exept private schools, they mix classes, and every single year our children find new kids in their classroom with new teacher, and they have to make new friends, new bodies. It takes time before they make solid bond. Finally when they find their best playmates, they have to be ripped a part after summer break again. The search here starts again. It get worse, and worse as kids get older. They become shy, there is a peer pressure and just name it. Just think how stressful is the moment where we, adults, have to change a job and meet new people. I have a perfect example, because I have 11 years old daughter, and I witness every single year her worries about acceptance, about meeting new kids, about new home teacher. I was fortunate to stay with the same firends in the same class throughout my elementary school, and high school. I made friends for life. We didn't have computers, electronic games, we didn't have beautiful toys. Instead we had to use our imagination, built something, make toys, and be outside with our friends, have fun. Today society is dangerous, and often kids are limited to play with their siblings (if they have one). At school they have limited time between classes to get to their lockers, exchange books and they have to rush to the next class. At my daughters school it is only not even full 4 min. They even count seconds!!!! So again they barely meet new kids, in new class, sometimes at new school, and they don't have enough time to interact. Many of our kids grow up with termendous struggle to fit in, and we even don't notice that actually they very lonely. Luckier are those who live in the apartments, condominiums, or other like that community areas. These kids can go out in the front of the house or apartment and play ( if you lucky to have neighbours with kids). So adding to parents lack of time, ignorance, lack of knowledge how to raise kids, and sometimes simply laziness, there are so many other things that we create making everything complicated, especially in the eyes of the youngests. Our kids pay the biggest prize.

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