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Kids More Stressed Out Than Ever Before, Survey Shows
Filed under: In The News, Research Reveals: Big Kids, Research Reveals: Tweens, Research Reveals: Teens
Kids are more stressed out than they were last year, and they take their cues from their parents. Credit: BrittneyBush, Flickr
The 2009 Stress in America survey, administered by the American Psychological Association, is the first to ask children about their stress levels, according to U.S. News & World Report. The results are startling: One third of the 1,206 children ages 8 to 17 surveyed admitted that they are more stressed out than they were just one year ago.
Even more surprising is the revelation that parents are missing their kids' cues. Only 18 percent of moms and dads believed their kids were worried about money, while 30 percent of children said that financial concerns stressed them out. Two-thirds of parents surveyed also fail to realize that how they handle their own stress can influence their kids, while 80 percent of children said they learn their healthy living habits from the way their parents behave.
How can you tell if your child is experiencing stress? Headaches, trouble sleeping, lack of appetite and tummy aches are some good indicators. Don't turn a blind eye, because kids who internalize their fears and worries instead of acting out are at a higher risk for developing anxiety problems and depression, according to the APA.
But don't despair -- there are tools for stress relief:
- Be available. Turn off that phone and log off the Internet, because 85 percent of kids surveyed said they weren't comfortable talking to their parents because Mom and Dad were too busy.
- Respond thoughtfully. Kids will tune out if you act angry or defensive, and remember to focus on your child's feelings about the situation and not your own.
- Be honest. Kids know when they're being fed a line. Be upfront in an age-appropriate way -- be it marital problems, money issues or other adult concerns. Tell them you are working together to solve the problem.
- Seek additional help. There's no shame in seeking the assistance of a therapist, doctor or psychologist.
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ReaderComments (Page 4 of 4)
11-07-2009 @ 1:58PM
GMon said...well, i am a 16 year old in 11th grade and i feel a CRAPload of stress. colleges, SAT, AP/IB classes, extracurricular activities, problems in life. they all have accumulated. I really cannot tell my parents anything anymore because they always jump to conclusions and take action way too quickly without even knowing have the story... and i definitely bet kids with financial problems in their homes have even more difficulty than i do. and about us children "having it made". sure, we have more technology. but have you ever stopped to think how distracting or how harmful it can really be? I actually had to do a survey about technological advances and how they have helped in the last 5-10 years. i asked teens, and adult of all ages, and overall, technology really has not helped our society that much if you consider all the death, crisis, whatnot that happens today. please reply if you think I'm wrong.
Reply
11-07-2009 @ 2:07PM
Dan said...Gmon, If you haven't heard of Jean-Jacques Rousseau, then take note! He expressed your same opinion 250 years ago! Technology is NOT the same thing as progress....
11-07-2009 @ 2:07PM
SKL said...I would love to see a description of what these young commenters think my childhood / adolescence was like (born in mid-1966). Ha ha!
You youths seriously think your academic requirements are "excruciatingly" more difficult than it was 20-30 years ago? Ha ha!!
You know what? The marketers of cram courses and such are feeding you a line in order to enrich themselves. "Oh, you poor souls, it's so hard to be a student today, just pay us and we'll take some of the burden off." By the way, it used to be considered ethically wrong to prepare for an achievement test, including the SAT/ACT. Maybe that's why some teens had a little time for socializing in "my day" - because we really focused on our schoolwork and homework, so we'd actually develop competencies that wouldn't be forgotten after an evening of work and a night of sleep.
But the idea that so-called "kids" (many of whom would have been heads of household by this age in another time) should be able to go home from school and "relax" all evening? Where did that completely unhealthy idea come from? If you had nothing to do when you got home from school, you would find something to do - and an idle mind is the devil's workshop. Prove me wrong.
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11-07-2009 @ 2:19PM
Dan said...SKL, You "achieved" in a prosperous time, and I would wager, at a time when the government was wholly trusted, and institutions actually meant something, and when marriages actually worked, and if people worked hard enough they could always afford the rent. What does any of that have to do with OUR world? Besides, virtually every field of study is more advanced now than it was in 1966..except, perhaps, arithmetic. LOL
11-07-2009 @ 3:14PM
SKL said...Dan: I was in jr high / high school from 1978-1983. Why don't you do some research on what was going on in those days? Prosperous? It was literally the worst time since the Great Depression; double digit employment, inflation, AND mortgage rates - they invented "stagflation" thanks to Jimmy Carter in those days. In short, you could not be more wrong about every single word in your post.
As for the more advanced fields of study, yeah (maybe), and you learn the depth of all of those advances in high school? Right. If you were tested on a 1990 high school science or history textbook, you would most likely fail.
Funny thing is, when we were growing up, we always learned and believed that previous generations had it harder than we did. Today the mantra is the opposite - which is patently untrue. It's not helpful to tell kids this nonsense.
11-07-2009 @ 4:24PM
Elizabeth said...SKL, I do not mean to be insulting, but look at it this way: when you were twenty years old (in, I assume 1986), in order to get a good paying job, one did not HAVE to have a college degree, computer skills, or know a second language. All you had to do was be able to type (something that was taught in school), know your mathematics, or have another manual skill (such as mechanics--which was also taught in school). Nowadays, due to lack of funding, these programs are largely nonexistent in most public schools. School boards are less concerned with teaching children to succeed in life and more concerned with them succeeding on a standardized test, and so that is how they are taught--how to choose the correct answer, but not why it is correct. Not to mention that due to an increase in population, classroom sizes are larger than they were in 1978, giving the students and teachers less one on one interactions.
To get a good paying job in this day and age, even an entry level, employers want you to not only have a college education, but speak another language and have computer skills, which, up until the last ten years or so, many schools did not have classes in. Unless you have a good deal of money, it is very hard to get into a good college AND be able to pay for it, and that stresses a lot of kids out. I gather that when you went to college it did not cost as much, and one could work a job to pay for school AND still have enough to live on.
You must acknowledge that to become a successful adult in this day and age is a lot harder than when you were a child. The expectations are different, the cost of living is different. Economic times aside, kids today have to know a lot more a lot earlier, and it is stressful for some.
11-07-2009 @ 10:51PM
SKL said...No, Elizabeth, the generation where getting a "good paying job" only required high school was my parents', and a large percentage of that generation didn't graduate high school, because a high school diploma was considered a luxury when teens could be working and helping their families.
Unless you consider minimum wage to be "good paying."
People need to step back and look at what they are saying. Ever since young people started leaving their extended families to pursue their own living, they have spent the teen years wondering and worrying about how they would support themselves and a family. The difference I see here is that today's youth doesn't seem to believe it's right for them to get prepared to be adults. They think it's just terrible that the community is paying for them to learn a lot and encouraging them to be the best they can be. Even those who admit they are choosing a heavy load to boost their chances of success are whining about it. When I was young, motivated students were lobbying for more intellectual courses and pushing to get advanced placements. Not whining because our college prep teachers assigned a lot of homework.
Like always, there is the option of taking the easy road and just making enough money to get by. There will always be millions upon millions of jobs for the unmotivated, uneducated people in our society. At least nowadays there is a thing called "minimum wage" and lots of other laws that ensure that if you do in fact do a decent day's work, you aren't going to starve or be worked to death. If a young person decides that he wants more out of life, isn't it more accurate to say that he is bringing stress upon himself, than that he's being subjected to it against his will?
If you really think school is too hard, then next year, sign up for the easiest available courses and don't do the extracurriculars. Then you can have the childhood you apparently think is ideal. You can make up for it by going to a community college for remedial courses before entering a university, and then take a light load for 6 years instead of four, thereby effectively extending your precious childhood by nearly a decade. I mean, why are you in such a big hurry to pay taxes anyway?
What do young people really think their role should be?
Personally, I was always in a hurry to be a contributing member of society. I haven't heard one young voice on this thread indicate that they feel that way.
Unfortunately, I see this attitude extending beyond college age nowadays. They show up for a job interview and act like I need to kiss their asses and convince them why they should want the job I'm offering. These people are still refusing to grow up. And I'm not hiring children.
11-07-2009 @ 2:18PM
SKL said...Oh, and if today's kids are slogging so hard in school, why are today's college professors so disappointed with their shockingly low levels of competence? Why do I see resumes filled with errors in basic spelling and grammar? Why do kids have all the TV shows memorized?
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11-07-2009 @ 2:32PM
Robin said...I agree with kids being more stressed. I'm 22 and have had high anxiety since high school. There is so much pressure now-a-days. I remember my parents having financial difficulties and worrying about terrorist attacks, especially after Sept 11th when I was a freshman in high school. Kids see so much through television and hear things from their parents. So I believe that even the rate will go up even in the next few years.
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11-07-2009 @ 2:39PM
anchen84 said...Boo-hoo, poor American kids. Plenty of food, even in poor families, enough clothes, schools and computers... of course they're so stressed out from having too much time on their hands just to do that. I guess some kids from rural China, who consider themselves lucky to be able to even go to school, to which they'd have to walk 5 miles, with no money to buy themselves some junkfood, or any food at all, for that matter - these kids have a much more relaxed and stress-free lives, right?
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11-08-2009 @ 6:31AM
ashcat1129 said...I am 17 years old and a junior in high school, and I do believe kids my age are stressed out moreso than in the past. I am dealing with school, sports, extra curriculars, service activities, along with family and friend problems. I know that schoolkids generations ago dealt with the same things, but times change. I don't think that people who say "Kids don't even know what stress is...blah blah blah" actually realize everything we have on our plate. Getting good grades, staying involved, and trying to please everyone around us is difficult. I don't complain about it because I know there are others going through the same thing. It may not be the same types of stress that adults deal with, but it certainly deserves to be recognized.
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11-07-2009 @ 3:20PM
emy said...I am definately stressed about things. I have a large family and what with the school asking for money for electives and with the whole international bacheloriate program going on, not to mention the whole media issue about things happening today it really is no wonder that I'm scared of what's going to happen to everyone.
there are a lot of expectations for my generation, and it's getting harder to live up to them
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11-07-2009 @ 4:49PM
3moongoddess said...I have family members that have involved thier children in EVERYTHING. There was alot of drama all the time and the kids have been treated as therapists to rant to. They had no smooth transition to adulthood. The kids are older now and have alot of resentment toward the parents.
I was needed to help in my parents' business growing up, which put alot of responsibility on me, but my mom and dad kept me out of most of the problems and I'm grateful. School was stressful enough and my wonderful parents recognized that.
It is so important to let your kids be kids and have SOME carefree time in their lives. They can't solve your problems so don't put them on the adult rollercoaster.
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11-08-2009 @ 12:52PM
SKL said...I just realized the article says only "one third" of kids think they are more stressed out than last year. Doesn't that mean that two-thirds do not think so?
The author of this blog considers it "startling" and newsworthy when only a third of tweens/teens feel their stress has increased in the past year?
Unbelievable and sad.
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11-08-2009 @ 12:54PM
Katie said...And when did food and transportation become an issue in this article? I'm pretty sure it never has been.
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11-12-2009 @ 6:25PM
rockiinoutgurl22 said...This is what I think, kids understand more from about the age of-10-adult so before they didn't have a idea of what's going then when they do they don't know how to solve them. And I personally think if you have a relation ship with your child they will tell you anything. And another thing children try stuff and they have no idea what to do its like child menopause.
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11-25-2009 @ 3:41PM
Stuart Kaplowitz said...As a therapist, I can certainly echo how much more stress our children experience today. Between an intense focus on school test scores, more two-parent working households (and more single-parent households) meaning more of us taxed parents who still need to come home, get dinner ready, clean house, etc., more electronics out there draining time away from the wonderful physical exercise and play we all need to get our energy out and so forth, kids are bombarded with stressful stimulation. Be there for them indeed. Make even those few minutes you may have count. Good luck to us all! Stuart
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2-02-2010 @ 2:01PM
Coluce said...the surveys advice is so completely one sided it is almost usless. What about what is going on at school? Why no advice to deal with that?
My daughter is nine. She is a self motivated person. I never have to tell her to do her home work. She comes home has a snack and starts her home work and it is a lot. Most days she has five hours of homework and more. She has no time to be a kid. This school year she has changed from a happy laughing fun kid into a serious nose to the grindstone sort of person. I help her as much as I can. I've taught her to take breaks, 10 mins every hour.
I would like a stress study of her classroom. Is it this teacher or is it this school driving the children? A well rounded study would have addressed the stress put on the kids by the tremendous responsibility the school puts on them.
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