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Hot Topic: Parent Sportsmanship Worse Than Ever?
Filed under: Opinions
Is parent sportsmanship at our kids' games in a steep decline?
That's an easy one to answer, since examples of adults behaving badly on youth sports sidelines are about as easy to find as the games themselves.
Today we heard about former Oakland Raiders player Jeremy Brigham, who went to blows with Alameda County supervisor Scott Haggerty. According to the San Francisco Chronicle, Brigham accused Haggerty - "whom he had just fired as the assistant coach of his Pleasanton squad of 10- and 11-year-old boys" - of leaking plays to an opposing pee-wee football team. This scuffle is under investigation.
And just last month, a football practice near Boston abruptly turned into a bizarre boxing match between a father of a young player and the team's coach. Pop Warner is the largest national youth football league for kids not yet in high school. The Boston Globe reported that the father suffered serious injuries, the coach was suspended and the small community of Wilmington was thrown off-balance by the incident.
Michael VonKahle was escorting his 12-year-old-son Tyler to football practice. The VonKahles arrived 10 minutes late whereupon the coach, William Reynolds, instructed Tyler to run some laps to make up for missing the start of the workout.
Tyler's father objected, saying that he was responsible for the mistake, not his son, according to an account in the Globe.
The two men moved their argument away from the practice. Then punches flew. According to the police report cited by the Globe, each man accused the other of throwing the first punch. VonKahle's injuries included a broken nose, a concussion and a damaged eye socket. Reynolds has been charged with aggravated assault and battery, The Globe reported.
It isn't the only alleged example of really bad behavior at youth sports events of late. In Monaca, Penn., the father of a high school football player got into an argument with a referee at halftime. Before it was over, police had subdued the football dad, Thomas Phillips, with a Taser, according to Pennsylvania's Beaver County Times.
These incidents contribute to the perception that adults are poor role models for good sportsmanship. In fact, when adults were asked about modern sportsmanship behavior, 80 percent of those older than 60 remember their earlier days as more civil.
Could it be that we simply hear more about rude, overbearing sports parents than we did in years past, thanks to CNN, ESPN and Web sites like this one? Is it possible that though parent behavior at youth sports games can be rude, even loutish, that their parents were just as obnoxious and vulgar back in the day?
Related: More on Sports
ParentDish sports reporter Mark Hyman is the author of Until It Hurts: America's Obsession With Youth Sports and How It Harms Our Kids (Beacon Press) Have a suggestion for an article on youth sports? Contact Mark at pdyouthsports@aol.com.
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 4)
11-05-2009 @ 11:10AM
Rick said...Such a sad story on sportsmanship by parents.
My story is about a varsity volleyball coach and district teacher who sent me an e-mail attacking me with a derogatory remark. The coach/teacher felt no obligation to apologize along with the Athletic director and new Superintendent. As a result of no actions taken, I stripped the school of up to $2,700 in annual scholarships.
Stupidty has no place in the classrooms and on the court.
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11-05-2009 @ 3:50PM
Nick said...I feel bad for the kids who (indirectly) may have missed out on different opportunities just because your "feelings" were hurt. What is up with this litigious society? People think that the youth are bad, but look who they have as role models!
11-05-2009 @ 3:55PM
Nick said...Whoops, never mind. I added this comment to the wrong story--apologies all around.
11-05-2009 @ 8:23PM
rob said...Yea Rick make the kids pay because you got your sensitive little feelings hurt.
11-05-2009 @ 8:25PM
Lisa said...WE WONDER WHY OUR KIDS ACT THE WAY THEY DO THESE DAYS. THIS A-HOLE DESERVED TO GET HIS EYE SOCKET SHATTERED!
11-05-2009 @ 8:52PM
Roy J said...It seems that our society as a whole as gotten more rude and crude. Witness the stupidity over stimulus and health care. How much more rude can you get. And the kids are learning from this.
11-05-2009 @ 10:42PM
Mickey said...Just exactly how is that getting revenge? Withholding scholarships money only hurts the kids. If you want revenge on the coach, target the coach, not the kids. There are several ways you could do this with a little imagination, and without resulting to violence. For inspiration, try reading "The Count of Monte Cristo." THAT is an example of getting revenge. What you did isn't revenge. That's just immoral. You should be ashamed of yourself.
11-06-2009 @ 12:47AM
Shannanigans said...My husband and I have never spoken bad about a coach or ? there decision..... the coach is the one responsible for discipline for the team. Even if the it was the parents fault, the coach has to give out the same punishments. If the parent was going to be late, call the coach everyone has a cell phone. Recently at a travel football game, a coach/parent told his child to stop the running back from getting in the end zone... well the child listened. He tackled the RB, which was fine but then decided to kick him after the play was over and the refs told him to stop. The father/coach then actually got upset with the ref cussing him out, then the coaches from our team out on the field to check on our player, and the player down on the ground. He actually said his weak @ss deserved it. The ref's called the game due to the horrible sportsmanship from the coach. Later we heard this father/coach had done this at 4 other games being kicked out of most of them. This is an opportunity for our children to learn sportsmanship and have fun. These were all 9 & 10 year old boys !!! It's ridiculous!!!!!
11-06-2009 @ 12:06AM
Stupid said...To bad when some school person does something stupid (after the school is sued) its the students who lose. Give me a break. I've played school sports all my life. When I was late for Bball practice my coach made me run laps or suicides (even if it was my parent's fault for getting me there late). The problem with this story is (YET AGAIN)- very little info. The parent should have let it go or just left. The coach has every right to make rules (a few laps is not bad. its not like he drove after them in his car or something.... was that it??). I've seen so many stage parents/ sport parents/ it seems when parents can't control themselves.... again the students (kids) lose. No wonder the Y generation is so violent.
11-05-2009 @ 11:58AM
Elizabeth said...I think a lot of it (the negative actions of parents at children't sporting events) comes from the fact that many parents are living their dreams through their children. When little Johnny is out there on the baseball field, it's a reflection on Dad. Also, good sportsmanship is not encouraged anymore, or indeed rewarded. Most kids today are not taught "win or lose, it's how you play the game" but rather "win at any cost." Now of course there are exceptions to this--school sponsored sports seem to be a bit tamer than those outside of academic sponsorship. It also might have to do with the fact that parents feel they are paying for their child to participate in the sport so they should have a say in the coaching, which isn't their right at all.
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11-05-2009 @ 8:14PM
caitydid1017 said...Okay. I am a girl and I have never had my dad yelling at the coaches or something like that when i was playing basketball. even when I was fouled and the ref didn't let me take shots from the foul line. Still my dad has never yelled at the ref or the coaches. In fact. when i was in basketball, my coach yelled at the ref because this same huuuuuuge girl kept tripping me, pushing me, and slapping me. Then the other teams coach got involved and they threw him out of the building. I kept thinking to myself this is pathetic. Hilarious, but pathetic.
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11-05-2009 @ 8:22PM
Marvall03 said..."Class" does show....this is the Lowest! Embarrasing his kids and putting on a real "show"....hope his kids are embarrassed enough Never to emulate him!
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11-05-2009 @ 8:28PM
toby wright said...well, well it seems to me that this country and it's "hip" parents aren't so cool afterall. The worst thing about this article is that it missed the point!! The point is that when we play games there is ALWAYS a winner and a LOSER!! Todays parents want to shelter their poor pathetic little x-box addicted morons into believing that they are OK and not a LOSER, when in fact this IS the case. The kids are really not the losers, but THE PARENTS WHO RAISED THEM!!
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11-05-2009 @ 8:39PM
Lili said...Awww. Poor dad, he got an injured eye socket and broken nose? Awwww I totally feel sorry for him! I'm glad the coach got suspended!! Lisa! You shuold be ashamed of yourself! Your the A-hole!
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11-06-2009 @ 1:21AM
Amber said...It should have been lesson learned don't be late! As far as who got what they deserved who knows! It doesn't say who threw the first punch and I don't think there is any thing wrong with defending your self.
11-05-2009 @ 8:38PM
wes said...These are the same people who want machine guns, hate gays, and hate everyone who has a different opinion than them. Thats America!
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11-05-2009 @ 8:47PM
Echo said...That happened at our Homecoming, but no violence was taken.
It was just a crazy mom screaming all the time at things she thought should have been fouls.
Her and another woman not three seats away.
Gosh, it ruined the game.
Especially since we lost 37-0.
Humiliation all around. DX
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11-05-2009 @ 8:58PM
george said...If the team has a policy that says you take laps if you are late you take laps, and it was the fathers fault, he and his son would have earned far more respect from everyone if he had been a man and did what everyone on that team was expected to do. Maybe if more parents acted like adults and not not like bullies we see less over paid athletes losing their jobs for abusing animals, taking cheap shots at other players or fans. Parents, professional athletes and coaches are the role models for these kids. As Yogi once put it, "You can take 18 kids, put em on a vacant lot and they can play baseball, add some adults and all hell breaks loose".
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11-05-2009 @ 10:48PM
Grizzly said...Well said George. Teams like these should have contracts that both the parents and players sign. The son probably missed some conditioning and needed to make it up. No problem. Too many parents these days don't make their children responsible for their actions. They always cover up for them or blame it on some other person or condition. Even though it was the action of the parent that made the child late. Running a couple of laps probably wasn't going to put the player in any kind of physical harm and would have made up for his missing that part of practice. What was the big deal. The whole situation could have been avoided. Dad was wrong. However, the coach was wrong for lowering himself to the level of the dad. Sorry the situation even happended.
11-05-2009 @ 9:15PM
hackeybirch said...Another perfect example of parents trying to play kids games through their children. Its the reason I quit coaching after 25 years as a volenteer. People feel as long as they paid the money they have a right to complain, interfear, and when things dont go the way they want to intimidate.
As hard as we try to teach kids not to bully in school it really should be taught to the parents instead.
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